Extinguished Candle

Love is the oxygen that I need to breathe.
Promises are the match that lights the flame.
Jars are the base that makes me believe.
But not trimming the wick? I’m to blame.

You lit me.
I was burned.
I made my plea.
A lesson learned.

You called me your warmth.
Only to slowly burn out.
I’m unsure of my worth.
All I have is self-doubt.

Smoke flutters through after the heat is gone.
No more light to shine in the dark night.
I’ve now become withdrawn.
I’m not sure if I’ll ever have another light.

As the flame burnt, I became smaller.
I should have been shining from within.
An experience that made me a scholar.
You were my greatest sin.

Being the fire never scared me.
The only thing that did was the flame dying out.
Now I struggle to breathe.
And drown in my doubt.

You enjoyed the temporary glow.
I called it combustion.
I’ll always be in your undertow.
Despite my deep destruction.

On my final ounces of wax.
No one can ever burn it all.
I’m on my final collapse.
But I’m trying to stall.

I am the extinguished candle.
Trying to survive.
I sit here still fragile.
But I’ll never thrive.

How to Raise a Reader (Even If They Don’t Love Books)

Reading for pleasure has become a thing of the past. Research shows that society is reading 3% less each year. This is showing strong effects among students and children as well. With hectic, busy lives and social media, we have lost the passion for individualized reading.

Benefits of Reading

Reading encompasses several benefits.

One of the greatest impacts we see with reading is a stronger correlation with mental health. Reading helps students cope with the mental, physical, and social-emotional skills needed in life. According to research, those with early childhood literacy skills are more likely to succeed academically.

From a physical standpoint, reading helps people live longer. According to Kaiulani Shulman 1,*Karen Baicker 2Linda Mayes, “Adults who read for more than 3.5 hours a week were 20 percent less likely to die over the 12-year study follow-up than those who didn’t read books.” Lifespan is expected to extend by almost 2 years for those who read more often and earlier in life. It’s reported that after COVID-19, more than 2/3 of literacy skills were lost for Kindergarten children.

Reading correlates directly with creativity. It forces the brain to make images based on what is being read. It allows the mind to explore innovative activities. America used to be one of the most creative and innovative countries in the world. Now it seems like we are slowly falling behind other countries. This has a direct correlation to reading drops.

Just under 40% of all 4th graders are performing below grade level on reading assessments. So, how do we help this?

Book Tastings

One of the biggest battles we face is the statement, “I don’t like reading.” It’s not that they don’t like reading; it’s that they haven’t found something they enjoy reading. If I love science fiction, but I’m constantly thrown romance books, I probably will not enjoy reading either.

Adults and kids need an opportunity to “taste” books. They need to learn how to skim a book and find something that interests them. Once they find a book they enjoy, they will enjoy reading. Schools try to teach these skills, but they also need to be shown in real-life contexts. We need to use the skills of reading the back of the book, skimming through pages, researching a book, looking at the cover, etc. One book that interests someone will change their life and perspective on reading. Librarians and teachers can help teach these skills as well and/or find recommendations that fit your interests.

Libraries

Local libraries offer free memberships. Even for families that cannot afford to purchase books, they have books they can borrow and read. Libraries offer a variety of graphic novels, audiobooks, kid books, nonfiction books, fiction books, and more. Most libraries just want proof of address, but some may not require it. If your student is in public school, many local libraries partner with the schools to sign students up for accounts.

For those who prefer online formats, most libraries offer online books (audio and digital format) for people to read for enjoyment. For those with busier lifestyles, or students who engage in extracurricular activities, audiobooks are a great option. As someone with ADHD, I do find audiobooks a bit more difficult to follow, but I’m still able to listen at times. By summarizing what I heard, I can process the reading. This still helps grow literacy skills.

Dedicated Reading Time

Just like chores or other daily habits, like brushing your teeth, showering, getting dressed, etc., reading should be built into a daily schedule. Just reading 20 minutes a day makes a huge impact. The most important thing to keep in mind is that reading should be at a “grade-level.” By reading things at grade level, you’ll be exposed to proper use of writing and new vocabulary terms, which will build brain capacity.

“Children who are read to at least three times a week at home are more likely to recognize each letter of the alphabet, count to 20, write their names, and read or pretend to read when they enter kindergarten.” This statement from the earlier research shows that reading is crucial to brain development. Reading before bed or as you wake up could make the difference in academic success.

According to Renaissance, 15 minutes is the minimum time required before positive effects are seen. The greatest impact is seen in those who read 30 – 60 minutes per day. By intentionally building in reading time, achievement gaps will be closed more slowly.

One way to achieve this is through modeling reading. Though it may sound strange, it would be beneficial to have a dedicated family reading time. Families could spend 15 minutes reading in silence, then spend about 5-10 minutes discussing what they read. To start off, magazines and graphic novels are sufficient to get families started.

Class Time

In my class, we use Fridays for basic reading and writing. Students spend 20 minutes reading in silence in class, a book of their choice. Students spend time in class finding a book. As an English teacher, it’s important to bring this reading time into a class at least once a week. Preferably, reading time should happen daily. With the increased pressure from states and governments on testing, it is difficult to find the time to bring it in. However, it is a catch-22: if we don’t give them time, how will they grow in literacy skills? We also need to give time to teaching standards. There should be a good balance.

In addition to embedded reading time, teachers should have an extensive library in their classroom. Whether this is an English teacher, math, science, or social studies, teachers should have access to books in their class for students to read. We need to go back to the basic habits and encouragement of “When you’re finished, we should be reading.” It forces students to slow down and not rush through work. It also encourages reading. If we have access to books in every content class, students won’t have an excuse not to read.

Students should visit the school library often. This encourages new book Tastings and opportunities to read new books. This allows students who may not have access to the public library access to a library in general. Some districts have taken away the library and used it for behavior intervention classes. That is doing an injustice to American society.

The Power of Picture Books

You can find picture books with no words. These are great for having students process what is happening in the images. They can then create their own ideas of what is happening in the story based on other things they’ve seen or read. Picture books still provide a basic understanding of the structure of a story (beginning, middle, and end) and plot. This is partially why graphic novels are great with younger readers. It uses short sentences to help with reading and vocabulary, and also provides some visual help to understand what is happening.

What Night Gave Me

Night screams terrors in my head
of the monsters that came to destroy me
terrorizing me to leave me hanging by a thread
never realizing the impact Night had on me for eternity

vast ruminating memories of isolation
surrounded by Night, but not embraced
waiting for me to give up in resignation
Night left behind and waiting to be chased

little did it know, despite the darkness looming
was going to bring me strength that was unimaginable
and now Night is the one all-consuming
thinking of how I am unbreakable

the sounds and visions of nightmares past
come creeping up, whispering delusions in my mind
trying to paint such a dark overcast
as I choose to ignore and play blind

Night reminds me of its supernatural vision
as I wander through the unknowns, begging for clarity
only when I’m at a breaking point, I make the incision
to give myself the life of polarity

Night is the epitome of the unknown
unable to navigate through the continuous maze
trying to take over the feeling of home
as I overtake the throne in a new phase

no longer hidden, the Night collapses
no longer alone, but no one is needed
Night tries to enter again in relapses
and soon Night will have conceded

thanks to Night I am what I’ve become
the silence of burden no longer in my hands
so long the feeling of being numb
because my life is what Night wished it commands

braver than any childhood scarring
the warrior stands in front of Night, ready for battle
ready for a strong sparring
and I’ll leave Night battered and scattered

appreciate the night for all of the aches
for it is what causes the shine of the day
despite all of the internal quakes
it is I who will always stay

Lexington, KY; February 2026

As a teacher, nothing excites me more than helping fellow teachers!

A former coworker from Texas had a project for her kids. She works with Deaf Ed kids and wants to start a Flat Stanley project. Since I’m new to the Louisville area, this is a perfect opportunity to get out and help someone else!

Transylvania University

I started with Transylvania University. This idea came to me for two different reasons: 1) I have a presentation for KCTE/LA coming up in March. I wanted to know where it was and hotels nearby. 2) I thought, “How cute! Hotel Transylvania, but this is a University!” I know — how nerdy of me! But these are young kids, so I thought it would be perfect.

I’ll be honest, I was incredibly nervous driving around there. I wasn’t sure where to park because of all the “Zone” parking, which I assumed was for students. I didn’t want to get a ticket. I knew I was only going to be there for a few minutes, but anything can happen!

I found a spot and walked to the main part of the university. I wanted to put Stanley right in front of the sign, but I wasn’t sure about the rules about walking on the grass, so we kept Stanley at a distance.

I then found a decorative corner with the name on it and decided to prop Stanley on it. We didn’t get the best pictures, but I did what I could!

I can’t wait to come back in March to present for English teachers in Kentucky! I’ll have a better idea of what’s allowed and what’s offered, and more insight into the actual buildings!

The Kentucky Castle

I’ve driven by this miraculous beauty several times, and I’ve always wondered what The Kentucky Castle looks like inside and out (up close). It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I learned you can do tours. Visiting was the perfect opportunity for Stanley.

The tour was $25. I do recommend purchasing it a few days before you plan to go. I didn’t think it was so popular, so I kept putting off the purchase. When I checked on Friday, there was one slot left. I made sure to grab it!

I was thrilled to see it, but was soon disappointed. I didn’t realize how small it was. From the outside, it looks incredibly massive. They said it was 19,000+ square feet, but it felt about the size of a small, normal home. In fact, on my way out, one guest commented that it was like a “Temu Castle.” I had to giggle.

The castle has a sad history and a lot of bad luck. The gentleman who began building it started it for his wife. After they married, they spent 6 months in Europe at castles for their honeymoon. His wife fell in love, so he began to model it after one of the Castles in Europe. As he was building it, they filed for divorce. It caused so much strife in their relationship that she requested to have nothing to do with it. She is alive today and still wants nothing to do with it. That relationship must have been atrocious for her to decline a castle!

After being purchased repeatedly by several people, Wes Henderson bought it. He has expanded the land and territory to include farm-to-fresh foods for the restaurant.

We did get to tour a room, but it was the one you could see in any of the online photos. Most of the area we toured was open to the public, except for one room. I was quite disappointed to pay $25 for a tour I could have completed myself, but you pay for the history speech.

I did expect “more” from a castle, but it just was. There was nothing incredibly moving about it. I’m glad I visited it, as it’s now marked on my “I’ve done this!” list. I heard it’s much better during the holidays! Our tour guide, Vicki, was great, though!

The Answer Lottery: A Low-Stress Way to Motivate, Assess, and Engage Students

The biggest challenge in modern classrooms is obtaining and maintaining students’ attention. Research from the American Psychological Association shows that the average American’s attention span is shrinking. As Dr. Gloria Mark points out, hardly any of us have gone a day without a distraction from our phones or computers. We are inundated with social media, news alerts, emails, text messages, and more. This attention span is worse for students.

In an age of TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram, students struggle with videos or reels that are longer than a minute or two. If they do catch one that is longer, they often use the speed-up option to get through it faster. If they struggle to focus during their leisure time, how do we expect them to concentrate in class?

In addition to the lack of focus, we face a world of rewards and challenges. When we face challenges or a system of rewards, we tend to work better and more focused to achieve success. How can we gamify a lesson to motivate students to work towards success?

Take Boring Questions and Turn Them Into a Lottery

Tired of the old sit-and-get method of reading a passage and answering questions? You don’t want to deal with sharing answers or grading each student’s paper? Are you worried about students “cheating” by changing friends’ answers while they grade? Turn formative assessments into an answer lottery.

What You Need

1-100 Number Chart

The first thing I do is pull up a 1-100 numbers chart. You can find all of these online. You can save it, create a custom number chart, or print it. I personally love projecting it on the Smartboard so students can choose and see where their friends are, how many slots they have, etc. You can also use a larger numbers chart, but I’ve found that 1-100 works best for classes of 30 students or fewer.

Suggested Links:
1-1,000

Text with Questions (or Made Ones)

You could use any form of media as a text. It doesn’t have to be a passage for students. You could use a video clip, lyrics, a song, an audiobook, a podcast, a passage, a book being read in class, etc. To introduce this concept, I’m going to use a traditional passage with texts.

Suggested Links:
NewsELA
CommonLit
ReadWork
ReadWriteThink

Optional

An answer sheet allows the students to keep track of the questions and the responses. You can put the questions and answers on the same sheet for reference, or use an answer sheet.

Prizes are always motivating for students to do well and win. My students personally love Jolly Ranchers. I buy bulk Jolly Ranchers from Sam’s Club.

How It Works

Students will read the passage. You can do this the same day or on separate days. If you want a deeper analysis of the text, I suggest doing the deep reading one day and the lottery questions on another. Regardless of how you do it, do not introduce the questions until you are ready to move on.

This works best in partners, but you can do individual students or groups of 3. Anything above 3 gets a bit messy.

Provide the students with the questions and the answer sheet (I highly recommend short responses). Place these questions face down on their desks. Let the students know they shouldn’t flip their paper until you say so. If you catch them flipping the paper, they will be disqualified from the lottery and required to answer the questions individually.

Explain the rules. These rules can be modified as you see fit (as everything else in teaching):

  1. You can answer any question. You do not have to go in order.
  2. You must use the R.A.C.E. strategy.
    • Restate
    • Answer
    • Cite
    • Explain
  3. Once you believe you have the answer, you raise your hand to check your answer.
    • Other Ways to Check:
      • Buzzers
      • Have them approach you
      • “Take a Number”
      • Online Response (with timestamps)
  4. If your answer is correct, you and your partner can place your names on a number. If your answer is wrong, you must correct your answer before placing your name on the lottery board.
    • It is up to you whether both names go on the same number or on different numbers. This is why I say any more than 3 in a group can get messy. We know not every student pulls their weight in groups.
  5. Only after they have listed their name on a number will they return and do the same for another question. Again, these questions do not have to be done in order.
  6. For every correct answer, they will both place their name on the board. There is no limit on how many times their name can appear on the board.
    • This eliminated the stress of being the first one done, language barriers, etc. It allows students to participate and practice while relieving some stress and giving them a chance to win.
  7. At the end of the questions, you spin, roll, or choose a random number selector to pick a winner.
    • You can have more than one winner. If you have more than one winner, it is up to you whether a group can win more than once. Having more than one winner gives those whose names aren’t on it a chance to win still. I’ve had students with their names on the lottery board just once, and still one, while others were on it 5 times and never won.

You cannot erase anyone else’s name. If you do, you will do the assignment on your own and receive an additional consequence.

Why This Works

Students love competition. If they can compete with each other to win something, it motivates them to work.

It encourages collaboration. This activity will allow students to work together and discuss their answers before writing anything down. This can help students process their answers before submitting.

You give immediate feedback. This allows students to know what is right and wrong before answering for a grade and/or others. It will enable instant correction while still allowing them to get their name on the board.

It is truly random, so there are no claims of favoritism. It provides equal opportunities for all learners to participate.

It gives students a mental reset after each question. They can physically stand to write their name on the board, which incorporates movement and allows their brain to refocus when they return to the next question.

It allows choice in their work. Because you are allowing students to complete questions in any order, they can review all the questions and pick the ones they are confident in before moving on to the more challenging ones. It still allows you to assess their ability to answer the questions before they move on. This will enable you to correct any mistakes so they do not get into the habit of poor responses.

Custom Order

If i was made for you,
why was it so easy to walk away?
If I’m custom made,
I shouldn’t be returned.

You went with the used,
and this order is delayed.
Picked up and mislaid,
Forever adjourned.

I was built to fit the shape of your hands,
but you dropped me effortlessly.
I fell to all your commands,
and you left me carelessly.

Tailored to fit you perfectly,
but swapped for the one that doesn’t fit.
It played out so deliberately,
and wishing you would’ve commit.

Custom made is the most expensive price,
never find the perfect match.
Always looking for the fine details,
which you’ll never find in another.

Now you’ll have your final vice,
while wishing you could detach.
Not appreciating what custom made entails,
but hopefully you’re happy with the other.

What You Didn’t Keep

Resilience of nature after an Ice Age
Emotional depth of the unexplored oceans
Giving like the infinite time
Support of a foundation-sturdy and strong
A guiding path of a compass
Heartbeats that are loyal to life
Laughter that provides sunshine on dark days
Dedication of the roots deep into the soil
Passion of earth’s magma uncontrollably bursting
Attraction of the tide to the moon
Warmth of the hearth in the coldest winter
Love of the vow chosen and kept
Understanding as a lens four a better view
Reflective of the trees that dance on a calm lake
Strength of a mountain growing with resistance
Motivation of a spark that burns the fuel
Calm of the deep breath relaxing before bed
Giggles that escape seeing confetti fall
Carefree as a bird in the summer air
Loyalty outlasting the North Star
Bravery as a soldier guarding the Unknown Soldier
Protector from all of life’s weathered storms
Beautiful as the Northern Lights
Rarer than nature’s made snowflake
Trustworthy bedrock-never shifting
Kind like sunlight through dark clouds
Dependable as a lighthouse, guiding ships
Respectful let’s voice in a quiet library
Patient water wearing down stone
Wise old maps that tell history
Curious with childlike growth
Encouraging like the wind pushing on your back
Reliable just as the earth turns
Fair like a perfectly balanced scale

Indifference

I’ll never leave you.
You’re unlike anyone else.

I’ll wait forever for you.
I’m coming back.
Never leaving your side.
This is as special as you.
Be in my life forever.

I bought it for you,
I’d never live up to what you deserve.
I’ve never been enough for anyone, even you.

You deserve all the great things.
The biggest heart I’ve ever met.
I’d give it all for you.
Unlike anyone else.

————————–

This isn’t goodbye.
This is see you later.

I can’t do this.
Everything you know is here.
I can’t do this.
I’m sorry.

There are things you don’t understand.
You don’t want to move.

I’m not worthy.
It’s not my choice.
You don’t understand.

————————–

The silence to the noise.
The lies to the truth.
The stillness in the chaos.

My Gravity

From the first embrace,
I felt calm like a flowing creek.
The conversations ran deeper
Than the deepest unexplored oceans.
A connection that pulled me in
Stronger than the Earth’s gravity.
The first touch of your hand
Felt like an electrical shock
That ran deep in my soul.
The first smile that radiated
Like the sun in the summer.
A kiss so magnetic
It pulled together polar opposites.
Lost in ecstasy so high
I lost myself in another realm.

Reconnecting felt like floating.
In a calming river surrounded by nature.
Security is stronger than the purest diamond.
The first twirl and dance together
Was freeing and full of pure elation.
The breeze blew through my hair.
As you wrapped your arms around me.
We strolled through the streets
like time didn’t exist.
The stare from your eyes is so intense
Feeling like a cracked dam ready to burst.
I yearned for you and you for me
Like the tide of the ocean for the moon.
Watching you smile and play
Like a newborn learning happiness.
You pulled me close
And my head falls back in joy.
The instant connection
Like stars in a constellation.
Watching you was like
Watching a warrior winning ground:
Strength, determination,
Pride, and fearless.

You pull me in
Fitting like a piece of a puzzle:
The perfect fit, completing each other.
Pulsing euphoria with your embrace.
Taking risks greater than
Climbing Mt. Everest,
But I felt safe…
Safer than I ever felt in my life,
Even more than a baby in a womb.
Staring intensely into your eyes
Watching the stories build inside.
Your hands wrap around me
Engulfing me like the ocean and land.
I craved you like the need for oxygen
And you me like a body needs a heart.
Nothing ever felt so perfect and so right.


I lost myself completely without trying.
My mind is traveling to worlds
Of pure divinity.
I fall into you, losing myself
Like a glove with no hand.
And lie on your chest
Listening to your calming heartbeat
Making music like famous composers.
Feeling your chest rise and fall
Like shadows with the sunrise and sunset.
Your arm wrapped around me like the most secure blanket.
Your lips on my forehead as soft
As snow settles on the ground:
Calming, quiet, and soft, building a new life.
Waking up, feeling you care for me
Like the sun caring for natural life.
Aching the separation that’s to come
Like fault lines breaking the land.
Wishing time could still,
like water turning to ice,
Just to keep this moment.

The yearn and need deeper than
A desert needing rain.
I beg that life will bring you back
Like the phases of the moon:
returning with a steady pace.

You changed me
Like a compass next to iron.
And I’ll never be the same
Like ash becoming part of soil.

And I’ll disappear at your request
But long for you like an unlocked
Door in an abandoned building.
And I’ll keep trying to pull away
Failing because you’re my gravity.

Deprived

Deprived of air when drowning,
unable to comprehend the feeling.
Thoughts dancing in your head, shouting,
leaving you reeling.

Deprived of being truly sated,
you craved from the moment we met.
Now you’re left feeling sedated,
living with daily thoughts of regret.

You need me like fish need water,
like humans need oxygen.
Now your heart is going through slaughter,
wishing to see me once again.

I was everything you dreamed of,
but now you’re deprived.
I was your soul tie, twin flame love,
and I’m not sure it can be revived.

She Was Rare

Like a red diamond on display,
admired from a distance.
Waiting for the day to break away,
but keep getting met with resistance.

My heart smoothed with Vantablack,
looking empty, but filled with just.
Waiting for it to be swept back,
but constantly filled with cosmic dust.

A total eclipse happening once,
hiding behind the facade.
Hiding behind all fronts,
despite being attractive like a lightning rod.

Ancient Roman concrete,
where stories lie.
Never admitting to defeat,
building strength, and intensifying.

Silence of the mind,
an impossible task.
Coming undone, unconfined,
finally showing what’s under the mask.

Hardly touched, like lunar rocks,
spoken of but rarely experienced.
Can’t contain like Pandora’s Box,
once experienced like an euphoriant.

Her love was like a natural pearl,
wild, free, but hardly produced.
But she cried for it to be unfurled,
but it becomes rarer as it is reduced.

An amber with no imperfections,
hard to find, but so divine.
Never receiving reciprocal affections,
but often seen on others’ shrine.

A single snowflake drifting in,
unlike any other you’ll ever find.
Feeling the regret deep within,
all because he was blind.

The Mona Lisa, appreciated too late,
was a force that imprinted deep.
One that you cannot recreate,
but you’ll dream about her in your sleep.

A fingerprint on the heart,
no one will compare to her.
You’ll regret the day of depart,
she was the rarest thing to occur.

I’m Fine (But Not Okay)

Verse 1
The morning air feels like winter now,
Another day of numb feeling.
A smile appears when I allow
All it does is keep concealing.

People say I’m strong,
But they don’t see what I hide.
I’ve been breaking all along,
Still, I push these feelings aside.

Chorus
I’m fine, but not okay,
It’s a facade I portray.
I’ll make it, I always do,
No matter how much it breaks me in two.
I’m fine, which is what I’ll say,
But inside I fade away.
I’ll keep playing in this game show,
Because surviving’s all I know.

Verse 2
The mirror shows a ghost,
Eyes really tell the truth.
But deep down, the truth haunts,
Fighting my internal thoughts.

Hope’s a flame slowly withering away,
But still burning in some way.
Every night I take a deep breath,
As I wait for my sudden death.

Chorus
I’m fine, but not okay,
It’s a facade I portray.
I’ll make it, I always do,
No matter how much it breaks me in two.
I’m fine, which is what I’ll say,
But inside, I fade away.
I’ll keep playing in this game show,
Because surviving’s all I know.

Bridge
And maybe someday I’ll feel light,
When the thoughts don’t make me want to fight.
But till, I’ll play pretend,
Smile through storms that never end.

Chorus
I’m fine, but not okay,
It’s a facade I portray.
I’ll make it, I always do,
No matter how much it breaks me in two.
I’m fine, which is what I’ll say,
But inside, I fade away.
I’ll keep playing in this game show,
Because surviving’s all I know.

Outro
I’m fine…
But not okay.

Never Enough

I unstitched my soul, thread by thread,
Unveiled the bruises where my heart had bled.
You watched, and listened, as I stressed
That I’ve never been enough, even at my best.


I placed my truth in your open heart,
A fragile thing we never meant to start.
You showed empathy and held me close,
And let you see my darkest shadows.
My words hung heavy, raw and bare,
“I’m broken,” I strongly declared.

You turned away, unmoved, no regard
While I stood bleeding and scarred.
Now echoes haunt the hollow space
Where once I begged for your embrace.
I gave you all, my breath, my trust
But love was never for me to entrust.

So go, walk on, and leave me here,
Among the ghosts of what was sincere.
I bared it all, my ruin, my pain,
And you walked away, leaving me in chains.

11/29/2025

Our Purpose

Sometimes life is a lantern,
meant to guide those in need.
When some feel abandoned,
we come to intercede.

Our purpose won’t scream,
and make itself known.
It comes to us through quiet dreams,
and we’ll admire it like a precious stone.

We aren’t prisoners to one calling,
as there are so many constellations.
When we find it, it can be enthralling,
and it’ll impact future generations.

Every shadow, even flawed, has purpose,
but it may not make sense in the moment.
Not living life is a disservice;
we all reach atonement.

Every bad thing that happens is a message,
and every good thing is a reward.
We’ll always get out of the wreckage,
because we’ll always be restored.

We’re all bound to reflect on life,
like, “Why are we here?”
Purpose carved in glory and strife,
and walking through joy and fear.

11/20/2025

Broken to Brilliant

You broke what you held,
yet I grew golden from the damage.
Now you drown in the bye you compelled,
but now I have the advantage.

Thiving came to me private,
showing me I can be self-reliant.
No longer am I compliant.
I’m more myself and vibrant.

My laughter fills the sky with every hue,
because of all the hurt I outgrew.
Life has felt more anew,
despite everything I’ve been through.

I’ll sing and dance in the rain,
and I won’t hold any disdain.
And this is how I shall remain.
This is all I’ve ever wanted to attain.

The light in me that faded is now radiant.
Others say I’ve never been so vibrant.
Finally feeling like I’m in alignment.
I’m out of my own confinement.

11/19/2025


Haunting Memories

She was rare, and I lost it
Crossing my mind all the time
True love gone, my heart’s accosted
Replaying our moments like a crime

I found what I was missing in her,
But threw it away for familiar
A love and world I longed for
My heart aches and is bitter

I check on her time and again
Wondering if there’s still a chance
Caught with the echoes, I can’t abstain
Trapped in memory, hoping for one more dance

Inside jokes haunt every corner
Laughing like kids, young again
Now I’ve become a silent mourner
Longing for memories that transcend

I miss her smell and the way she tastes
The moments with her, I still embrace
I miss the laugh and smile on her face
A feeling no one will ever replace

The way she used to hold me close
Her eyes stared into my soul
Chemistry and love, I miss the most
Piercing deep, lingering, dark, and whole

She understood me like no one else
Two people bound to meet as one
Touched my soul, I hid from myself
A story written that can’t be undone

I miss her more than words can say
Haunted by the wrong choice
My heart yearns and feels betrayed
Regrets shadow follows, paying the price

Watching her breathe as she sleeps
Calming my once rabid beast
Dreams untouched, my heart leaps
Held my chaos with peace

The way her body reacts to mine
Craving for her soft skin
Every touch feels divine
The touch pulls me to sin

Walking the streets hand in hand
Pulling her close, letting silence speak
Side by side in a moment, we don’t understand
Moments like this are all I seek

Baring my soul for her to judge
Waiting for her to run away
As she accepted me for who I was
Lost in regret, words can’t convey

From the first conversation, I fell in love
She was so different than anyone before
Feeling so deep, I only dreamt of
Her presence changed my inner core

She had everything I searched for
A free spirit, even though hurt deep
The missing piece I adore
A love so fierce, I long to keep

Every goodbye was harder
But the last ripped me apart
The pain of bye leaves me scarred
The choice I made now tears my heart

11/18/2025

Revert Time

There’s a chill in the air,
as if your eyes trace my outline.
You’ve stepped into my snare,
and now we’re intertwined.
Just make the move you long for,
and I’ll be yours forevermore.

This happened by chance,
and it took me by surprise.
An unforgettable romance,
no one else has been able to provide.
And I can’t seem to let it go,
your memory haunts me in the undertow.

You found pieces of me I kept hidden,
but you opened them with ease.
In places where pain had ridden,
you touched my heart and brought me peace.
With you, I could be myself,
all the parts guarded, you knew well.

A side of me I forgot existed
happiness and laughter that’s been missing.
A spark, awakened, no longer resisted
a warmth returning and glistening.
I’m a fool for you,
and I’d do anything you asked me to.

It was a connection like no other,
like discovering my long-lost friend.
Souls that recognized each other,
an unexpected beginning I didn’t intend.
But it all crashed down,
silence echoing where love once drowned.

When did it all go wrong?
Was it all in my head?
Was the answering whispering all along?
Was it hope held by a fragile thread?
Just another name to add to the list,
Once was bliss, now a ghost in the mist.

Do I suffocate myself or let it go?
I don’t want to try anymore.
Do I vanish or watch myself grow?
I thought I found something worth fighting for.
This was an unexpected attack,
a hit that has a lasting impact.

And now I’m here in silence, alone.
The sun never rises, always midnight.
Quiet memories we used to call our own,
my heart swallowed by the void of light.
An emptiness that lingers within,
finding love, I’ll never win.

I know the way you watch
tells me everything you won’t say aloud.
Burns in your heart and mine like a torch
a longing whisper of words you won’t allow.
If fate allowed, I ache for those moments
their echoes remain, stubborn and torments.

It’s a battle I fight every day,
wishing to wipe my mind clean before you came.
Storms are brewing inside and won’t go away,
thoughts undone, every thought aflame.
Despite the pain, I wouldn’t revert time;
every memory was sublime and made my soul climb.

11/17/2025

Breathless

I love you
the kind that builds a hunger.
A way that makes me subdue,
the kind that makes me call upon a slumber.

I’m not in love,
but you awaken something in me
Without you, I’m destitute of
the feeling of being sultry.

A darkness that comes to light
comes out when you step closer.
Feeling like I need to requite,
but you make my insides take over.

With you, I’m unafraid,
discovering a new side.
Others I always forbade,
with you, my body just replied.

My body burns like a wildfire.
taking over ever engulfing.
Needing you feels dire
because it’s so indulging.

I know this is nothing but bad news,
and I know it’ll end in disaster.
And yet, my body and mind can’t refuse.
but you make my heart feel vaster.

For you, I’d become reckless
innocence and pride left in ruin.
I can’t help that you leave me breathless,
you’ve made me feel like I need persecution.

I crave the chemistry
the way it coils through me.
You make me act contemptuously,
making my insides scream like a banshee.

The only secret my body understands,
the stare into my eyes, arm around my waist.
Can’t help but listen to your commands,
forever you’ll be encased.

Say my name a certain way,
and suddenly I come undone.
My mind goes into disarray,
what have you begun?

Because loving you like this,
in sparks, shadows, and where propriety breaks,
I can’t help but often reminisce.
It’s the only way my mind and body escapes.

I’m willing to fall a little lower
and lose myself for the feeling I love.
Losing my mind and all my composure,
we fit together like a perfect glove.

Loving it and you like a bad addiction,
because with you, I’ve lost all sanity.
I can’t help but need this prescription,
because you keep pulling me in like gravity.

I don’t know if what I feel is real,
but I know you’re my necessity.
I guess time will slowly reveal,
but you give me a sense of familiarity.

I see it in the way you breathe;
you feel this, too.
Your decision is making you seethe;
body answers me before your words ever do.

You’re dangerous because it’s more than physical,
words wrapping around me like warm hands.
There’s a pull into the metaphysical;
you’re the only one who understands.

Your words and voice lure me in like a spell,
and I’m not sure what to feel or believe.
Powerless beneath the pull you compel,
this is something we conceived.

There’s a pull in you that mirrors the one in me,
and your silence betrays you.
Your soul still reaches for me,
inked into you like a tattoo.

The ache in you is building tension,
claim it like you claimed me.
Let me be your redemption,
because together we are a dangerous army.

The world can watch in envy;
we have something they’ll never possess.
Only we can experience this intensity,
a thrill that leaves others breathless.

11/16/2025

Louder Than the Doubt

Louder Than the Doubt

(Verse 1)
They wrote me off like damaged goods
Said I would go to orphanhood
Closed the doors and ignored my pleas
Treated me like a rare disease

(Pre-Chorus)
Every person who turned their back on me
Silently screaming a dark decree

(Chorus)
I am louder than the doubt, louder than the fear,
I turned the echoes of their whispers my own souvenir.
Through the dark and the light, I will still fight
I rose and I became, thanking them in hindsight

(Verse 2)
Every mocking tease and joke,
Love that tested limits, hearts broke.
Stitched my edges even stronger
Built a wall to stop the slaughter

(Pre-Chorus)
The lightning and thunder couldn’t stop me
Here I am, finally living carefree

(Chorus)
I am louder than the doubt, louder than the fear,
I turned the echoes of their whispers my own souvenir.
Through the dark and the light, I will still fight
I rose and I became, thanking them in hindsight

(Bridge)
I celebrated mornings I never thought I’d make,
Now I’m feeling I can finally be awake.
Now I look forward to every single sabotage
I no longer have to hide in my camouflage
All I ever needed was to believe in me
Every scar has led me to this great legacy

(Chorus)
I am louder than the doubt, louder than the fear,
I turned the echoes of their whispers my own souvenir.
Through the dark and the light, I will still fight
I rose and I became, thanking them in hindsight

Remembering How to Breathe

(Verse 1)
Morning light through blinds, coffee between our palms,
You speak in quiet confidence that settles calm.
Old stories folded in my pocket, pages burned,
Then you arrive and make my heart yearn.

(Pre-Chorus)
We move through rooms creating memories of a lifetime,
Simple yet the most perfect paradigm.

(Chorus)
You make me feel young and free again,
Like remembering how to breathe, on you I depend.
This love rewrites the definition of love that I thought I knew
You’re the one who makes me feel anew.

(Verse 2)
Evenings filled with honest talk, the kind that runs deep,
We have a love that others think is so mystique.
No fairy tales, but a rare find
Who knew love that feels so sublime?

(Pre-Chorus)
We trade our guarded edges for softness and trust,
Two people shaped by separate storms, now robust.

(Chorus)
You make me feel young and free again,
Like remembering how to breathe, on you I depend.
This love rewrites the definition of love that I thought it knew
You’re the one who makes me feel anew.

(Bridge)
There’s bravery in showing scars and faith in taking risks,
The quiet courage of being known and lost in the abyss.
Once a nightly prayer, an answered call
You are the one who can heal it all.

(Chorus)
You make me feel young and free again,
Like remembering how to breathe, on you I depend.
This love rewrites the definition of love that I thought it knew
You’re the one who makes me feel anew.

11/14/2025

Confined

(Verse 1)
I learned the shape of silence in the spaces left by everyone
Found the fingerprints of lies scarred deep and overdone.
Mirrors whisper secrets that I can’t unhear,
Every promise folded up and sold insincere.

I kept a jar of broken light, hoping for repair,
Watched it crumble and threadbare.

(Chorus)
Don’t ask me to believe, my unravelled soul
Not even my own heartbeat speaks to the open keyhole.
I don’t trust the hands that hold me, or my own mind,
There’s poison in the echo, and it’s serpentined.

(Verse 2)
Names like cemetery stones, I step around them, dreary
Familiar faces hollowed out, and I’m left teary.
I learned to count the casualties, soft words turned to knives,
Smiles that harvest daylight to leave me deprived.

(Pre-Chorus)
I taught my doubts to dress like angels, calling me home,
Now I answer to the hollow and I still roam.

(Chorus)
Don’t ask me to believe, my unravelled soul
Not even my own heartbeat speaks to the open keyhole.
I don’t trust the hands that hold me, or my own mind,
There’s poison in the echo, and it’s serpentined.

(Bridge)
If I could be forgiven by my own mind,
I’d kneel before the silence and beg not to be confined.
But the hiding can’t be seen,
I’m begging for someone to intervene.
Betrayed by light and love,
I can’t help but look above.
Betrayed by every confidant who taught me how to fight.
It was always my fault, looking back in hindsight.

(Chorus)
Don’t ask me to believe, my unravelled soul
Not even my own heartbeat speaks to the open keyhole.
I don’t trust the hands that hold me, or my own mind,
There’s poison in the echo, and it’s serpentined.

(Outro)
So leave your footprints on my memory and walk away,
I’ll hide the map to prevent our doomsday
If there’s comfort in a lie, I’ll continue to find it,
Because my heart will always be a hypocrite.

11/13/2025

Learned to Thrive

(Verse 1)
I wore the nights like winter coats, stitched with borrowed memories
Walked sidewalks made of echoes, carrying yesterday’s flames.
Rain learned all the secrets I tried to hide beneath my armor
But every puddle let out a silent screaming murmur.

(Pre-Chorus)
There’s a map beneath my scars, a compass carved in skin,
But these torn memories will never take over and win.

(Chorus)
I am a garden after storms, roots that learned to thrive
A lighthouse helping others survive.
What broke me taught me lessons, what bled me gave me life,
I bloom in places wrecked by storms, I lived through the strife.

(Verse 2)
There were mirrors made of paper, torn and scattered on the ground,
I taped them together and showed I can rebound.
Ash turned into chalk to write the lessons for my path,
And every line became a road that led me through the wrath.

(Pre-Chorus)
I learned to count the quiet, to trade my fear for hope,
I’m no longer walking on the long tightrope.

(Chorus)
I am a garden after storms, roots that learned to thrive
A lighthouse helping others survive.
What broke me taught me lessons, what bled me gave me life,
I bloom in places wrecked by storms, I lived through the strife.

(Bridge)
When the world insists on hate and loss,
Forgiveness is a river that flows in thoughts.
Hope is not a fragile vase but reality,
Life is anything but a tragedy.
Every bruise is just a poem folded in the pain,
And every step I take is louder and I remain.

(Chorus)
I am a garden after storms, roots that learned to thrive
A lighthouse helping others survive.
What broke me taught me lessons, what bled me gave me life,
I bloom in places wrecked by storms, I lived through the strife.

(Outro)
So let the clocks keep counting all the hours,
I’ve learned to dance in the showers.
When night returns, I’ll be the North Star,
and this’ll be another story in my memoir.

11/12/2025

Leasing Love On A Whim

(Verse 1)
You let me go like it was nothing at all,
Missed out on the long haul.
Crashing down like a tsunami wave,
But I rebuilt my world on better days.
Now you’re scrolling through the faded frame,
Wondering who is the flame
You traded depth for something that is broken
Now you feel the echo of words never spoken.

(Pre-Chorus)
You took something that was familiar
Just remember, second place is silver.
I’m steady where you found me fragile and free
Guess absence taught you what you couldn’t see.

(Chorus)
You gave me up and now you miss us
All because you were treasonous
I’m careful now, not leasing love on a whim.
I’m moved on, holding love only within
All you said was just empty words
I’m still the one you prefer
Now you dream of me late at night
While I’m living it up in the pale moonlight

(Verse 2)
You chase the easy thrill, but at what cost?
Upon your heart I have embossed.
You’re calling through the noise,
I’ll maintain my poise
I held my ground, you had the best
Now your heart is feeling suppressed
You send a message dressed in second thoughts,
Thinking gestures can stitch what time forgot.

(Bridge)
Regret’s a slow and honest kind of ache,
It shows up late and asks for one more break.
What are the chances of it happening again?
I think about it every now and then.

(Chorus)
You gave me up and now you miss us
All because you were treasonous
I’m careful now, not leasing love on a whim.
I’m moved on, holding love only within
All you said was just empty words
I’m still the one you prefer
Now you dream of me late at night
While I’m living it up in the pale moonlight

(Outro)
So come with better words than longing and luck
Don’t come around when you’re moonstruck.
I’m not a rescue or a safety net to mend the cracks
I want it all—not something that lacks.

Maginot Line

(Verse 1)
I built my walls to protect my homeland
Stone by stone, so no one reached the command
Too close to the fault lines that were stressed
Where love once lived, but is now oppressed

Every promise turned to smoke,
Now we’re wearing the mourning cloak
So I drew my borders deep and intensified
A fortress where my ghosts reside.

(Pre-Chorus)
I’ve sealed the gates because of you
Now no one will ever get through

(Chorus)
This heart’s a Maginot Line,
No more possibilities of war crimes
Built from endless sleepless nights
I’m my own white knight
You can keep trying to impede
But love’s a war I’ll never need.
I’m fortified by my own design
Behind the Maginot Line.

(Verse 2)
You say it’s time to reunite,
But I’ve seen the dawn betray the night.
Every tender word’s a white lie,
Every touch is a battle cry.

I don’t trust your battle fight,
You hint at the need for requite.
I’ve learned that love’s a losing game,
Where every victory ends inflames

(Pre-Chorus)
So I raise the walls again,
My heart is wearing thin.

(Chorus)
This heart’s a Maginot Line,
No more possibilities of war crimes
Built from endless sleepless nights
I’m my own white knight
You can keep trying to impede
But love’s a war I’ll never need.
I’m fortified by my own design
Behind the Maginot Line.

(Bridge)
Maybe someday it’ll crumble down
By then, it’ll be a ghost town
But not tonight, I protect my own
Not with the unknown

(Chorus)
This heart’s a Maginot Line,
No more possibilities of war crimes
Built from endless sleepless nights
I’m my own white knight
You can keep trying to impede
But love’s a war I’ll never need.
I’m fortified by my own design
Behind the Maginot Line.

11/10/2025

The Crow’s Probe

(Verse 1)
I woke beside the heavy tomb,
A whisper left, impending doom.
Your scent still haunts the bitter air,
But you’re found nowhere.

They said love dies, but it’s a decree
It burns like a burn in third degree
I flew through the graves of what we were,
Digging for truth in the dirt and blur.

(Pre-Chorus)
Every heartbeat you caused to leap
I unearth in the places buried deep

(Chorus)
I’m the crow in distress
Pecking at the lies, I have to assess
Your ghost still lingers in my bones,
As I reminisce at the gravestone
Love’s not gone, it’s just transformed
Cold and black, just like the great storm.

(Verse 2)
Your eyes were candles in the storm,
Now hollow glass that won’t stay warm.
I trace the crime of love’s last breath,
Every touch, a clue to death.

I follow trails of broken tales,
Your voice in the wind, your scent in trails
In the ruin, I found your memory,
Written in soot, like an abandoned penitentiary.

(Pre-Chorus)
You taught me how to live with this bloodstain
Now I wear your memory like a rugged terrain.

(Chorus)
I’m the crow that is in distress
Pecking at the lies, I have to assess
Your ghost still lingers in my bones,
As I reminisce at the gravestone
Love’s not gone, it’s just transformed
Cold and black, just like the great storm.

(Bridge)
Do you feel me in your afterglow?
Does it take you in with the undertow?
I found the heart you buried deep,
It beats for me with a weep.

(Whispered)
I am your reckoning, your requiem’s ping
The truth is, I was your everything.

(Final Chorus)
I’m the crow in distress
Pecking at the lies, I have to assess
Our love’s a corpse that won’t decay,
It feeds the dark, it holds the deepest dismay.
Even the grave can’t make me forget
The crow still asks, “How is the regret?”

11/09/2025

Worse Than the Rest

(Verse 1)
You said you were nothing like rest,
So I decided to give it a try.
You mirrored everything I wanted,
And I was foolish to buy the lie.
You held my heart like fragile glass,
Then dropped it just to see it break.
I thought I’d learned from all the past,
But you were just a better fake.

(Pre-Chorus)
You played the part so well
Like love was your prize.
I saw the truth too late to swell,
The devil eyes tend to mesmorize.

(Chorus)
You said you’d be different,
Turns out you’re worse than the rest.
You lit a fire, watched it burn,
But it was all just in jest.
I thought you were healing,
But you’re another wound to mend.
You said you’d be different,
But you were worse in the end.

(Verse 2)
You made me believe in love again,
Just to leave me in the cold.
Every “I love you” that you whispered
Turned into black mold.
You manipulated to what I wanted to hear,
But your words were paper-thin.
You taught me love doesn’t exist,
It’s a battle I’ll never win.

(Pre-Chorus)
You had all of my heart,
Then burned it and let it smoke.
Another promise torn apart,
Another heart broke.

(Chorus)
You said you’d be different,
Turns out you’re worse than the rest.
You lit a fire, watched it burn,
But it was all just in jest.
I thought you were healing,
But you’re another wound to mend.
You said you’d be different,
But you were worse in the end.

(Bridge)
Now I see through your lies,
Through your acting and betrayal.
You broke me just to prove a point,
That good men fade to dust.
And now the only thing I trust
Is me, not love.

(Chorus)
You said you’d be different,
Turns out you’re worse than the rest.
You lit a fire, watched it burn,
But it was all just in jest.
I thought you were healing,
But you’re another wound to mend.
You said you’d be different,
But you were worse in the end.

(Outro)
You were never different,
You were just better at pretending to be.

Victor

Storms crashed down,
but still I survived.
Stronger than a phoenix,
an anomaly of strength.

Stronger soul today,
no regrets to face.
Never held back by limitations,
a mentor to all the hopeful.

Life battles waging war,
but I’ll be the victor.
Admiration from those around,
inspiration for those to come.

10/30/2025

Silent Watcher

Just linger in the shadows,
a ghost hidden away.
I’m the one you superpose,
And now feeling a sense of dismay.

You see the smiles I imprint on you,
and wonder how I’m doing so well,
when you thought I’d subdue.
It’s everything you dwell.

Now you live with my memory,
in the loudness of your quiet night.
Watching me like the best documentary,
Looking at it in hindsight.

You take what little’s left of me
in glances I didn’t give freely.
Waiting for me to make my plea,
while I show myself steely.

Does it drive you crazy?
Is this not what you expected?
Looking back, is it hazy?
Are you feeling rejected?

Engraving

Verse 1
You had gold in your hands,
But you let it slip through like the sands.
You turned your back while I soared
Now this cataclysmic love will never be restored.

You threw away the one thing you manifested
You were never fully invested.

Chorus
Now you’re standing in the ruins of maybe,
Wishing you’d fought when you still could’ve saved me.
Found something so pristine
You’re haunted by what I mean.
It’s too late for amazing
You’ll be left with this engraving

Verse 2
Mistook my kindness for desperation
When really I was your only salvation
Now the heavens forever cry for you
Because you threw away something true.

Now every memory and echo calls my name,
And you finally feel the heat of the flame.

Chorus
Now you’re standing in the ruins of maybe,
Wishing you’d fought when you still could’ve saved me.
Found something so pristine
You’re haunted by what I mean.
It’s too late for amazing
You’ll be left with this engraving

Bridge
I was the prize you let go
You’ll never experience the afterglow
Lost in your own misery
What we had is history

Chorus
Now you’re standing in the ruins of maybe,
Wishing you’d fought when you still could’ve saved me.
Found something so pristine
You’re haunted by what I mean.
It’s too late for amazing
You’ll be left with this engraving

10/28/2025

Chalk Lessons

I once drew hearts in sidewalk chalk,
believing it symbolized lasting love.
Each crush gone as fast as it came.
Each scar a self-inflicted game,
till rain washed away the chalk.

You were my admiration,
a storybook I tried to publish.
But limerence taught me true beauty.
Love’s not lost, but instead a plea,
even when I crave fixation.

Now stronger, I walk tall.
The swings still hum, the laughs go on.
I hold the chalk with balanced hands.
And build my dreams on truer commands,
lessons that I shall forever recall.

10/27/2015

Even When I Knew

I knew it wouldn’t last.
You were lightning:
bright, wild, gone before I could catch.
And still, I stood in the storm
pretending it was enough.

I saw the ending like a shadow
waiting just behind your smile.
But, it still hurts.

Knowing
doesn’t make the loss any easier
it just makes me feel gullible
for hoping it’d be real,
for believing love could rewrite the laws of gravity and find me.

Now I’m left with ghosts of what would never be,
playing memories like they’re proof
that something real once tried to exist.

And I keep asking myself
why I miss a dagger
that was always meant to kill me.

10/26/2025

Confined Heart

Love once blossomed in my chest,
soft as morning light on grass.
Now it feels deeply oppressed
Withering away in the hourglass.

The air hums with what we were,
a tune that turns my stomach and makes me ache
Wishing I could turn you into a blur,
hoping each day I never wake.

My body reacts to the pain,
cutting deep into the abyss.
It was I that you slain,
yet, still, I will never remiss.

Permanent mark in my mind,
wishing I could expunge.
Daily fighting of feeling confined,
into the darkness I plunge.

10/26/2025

Abandoned House

A house that once hummed with life
Windows that shone with happiness and sunlight in every room
Now, all it contains is the afterlife
The house, which is now entombed
A porch swing swaying in lonely guise

Floorboards groan, and echoes of steps and laughter
Paint peeling like forgotten promises
of a life that was ever-after
Memories flooding like hostages
Screaming to escape the haunting cries

Even in decay, the house won’t let go
Spirits roam through the memories
Wishing they could all forego
All the promises from the centuries
That now just agonize

Abandoned and left behind to wither away
Forgotten like a letter in the bottom drawer
Broken, shattered, and fallen, windows dismay
Its purpose forgotten forevermore
A hallway dark, where light denies

People walk by and wait for the demolition
For the abandoned house, vacant and forgotten
A stairway collapsed in sad submission
Fireplace cold, embers rotten
A rusty keyhole that no one pries

10/20/2025

Concrete Wings

There was light that was revoked
Shattered are all my dreams

Now I sit in silence with the noises in my head
Fighting the demons eating me inside out
Sense tells me to thrust ahead
But the self hate thrashes about

Wings flapping, trying to break free
Cemented onto the ground crying out pleas
Nipping at the fruit of the poisonous tree
The whip of the wind feeling absentee

I spread my wings to take flight
Only to fall and fail
Everything in me feels like darkest night
I can never prevail

So here I stand-helpless and broke
Stuck with concrete wings

10/20/2025

Tips for New Teachers: What I Wish I Knew

Starting a teaching career can be overwhelming, especially without the support of a comprehensive teacher preparation program. The transition into the classroom often brings anxiety and uncertainty.

My journey was unique. I was assigned two campuses while managing five-course preps. At first glance, this might seem daunting to most, and truthfully, it was a significant challenge. However, this experience provided invaluable lessons. The contrasting cultures and demographics of the two campuses broadened my perspective, and the strong support system at one of the schools was crucial to my growth.

Now, fifteen years later, here’s what I wish I had known as a new teacher:

Ask Questions: The Key to Growth as a New Teacher

As a new teacher, you don’t know what you don’t know. The best way to navigate the learning curve is by asking questions—whether to colleagues in your content area, teachers in your hallway, or those with similar teaching experiences. These conversations will provide some of the most valuable insights as you establish yourself in the classroom.

Asking questions is essential to success, from lesson planning and classroom management to scheduling and parent communication. Even after fifteen years in the profession, I continue to seek advice from my peers. Every school has its own culture, and what works in one environment may not be effective in another. If you transition to a new campus, district, or leadership team, take the time to understand the expectations and dynamics of your new setting.

Not Sure What to Ask? Start Here.

To help you navigate your first few months, consider asking:

  • Student Expectations: What are the arrival, dismissal, and transition procedures?
  • Student Demographics: What should I know about our student population?
  • Curriculum & Pacing: Is there a district-mandated curriculum or pacing guide?
  • Technology Resources: What tools are available for teachers and students?
  • Professional Development: What training opportunities are offered?
  • Observations: Am I allowed to observe other teachers on and off campus?
  • Administrator Feedback: How do administrators provide feedback?
  • Campus Routines: What are the key procedures (e.g., CHAMPS, lunch routines, hallway transitions)?
  • Parent Communication: What is the preferred method for contacting parents? Am I required to document interactions?
  • Student Accommodations: How do I track 504 and IEP accommodations, and where is this information recorded?

You’ll gain confidence and build a strong foundation for your teaching career by actively seeking guidance. Never hesitate to ask—every question brings you one step closer to success.

Beg, Borrow, Steal, Adapt, and Train: Learning from Others as a New Teacher

One of the most valuable things you can do as a new teacher is learn from those around you. This includes colleagues within your building, educators from other schools, professional networks, social media, and online teaching resources such as Teachers Pay Teachers. With so many tools and sources of inspiration available, it can feel overwhelming to know where to start.

Recommendations for Expanding Your Knowledge

  • Explore District and Regional Trainings – Contact your district about in-person or digital training opportunities. Many states also have regional education offices that offer professional development for teachers. They may provide additional training options if you’re part of a union. Before enrolling, confirm whether the training counts toward the required professional development hours.
  • Join Webinars for Educational Technology – Many platforms, such as Canva, Nearpod, and IXL, offer free webinars to help teachers maximize student engagement and learning through their tools.
  • Engage with Social Media Communities – Follow experienced educators on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok. Many share valuable teaching strategies, classroom management tips, and creative lesson ideas, often with real-life implementation examples.
  • Curate and Adapt What Works for You – No single resource or lesson perfectly fits your teaching style, schedule, or classroom structure. Be selective—take what aligns with your needs, modify where necessary, and leave out what doesn’t work. Remember that different schools follow different schedules, such as block scheduling versus shorter class periods, so flexibility is key.

Leveraging the wealth of knowledge from your professional community can help you build a strong foundation and continue evolving as an educator. Teaching is a collaborative profession—embrace shared wisdom and don’t be afraid to adapt to your unique classroom environment.

Be Yourself: The Power of Authentic Teaching

Authenticity is key to long-term success and reduced stress in teaching. Stay true to your teaching style and preferences. If interactive notebooks aren’t your thing, don’t feel pressured to use them. Teaching should balance innovation and comfort—trying new strategies is valuable, but forcing yourself into methods that don’t align with your style can lead to unnecessary stress. I believe in experimenting with different approaches at least once, but if something doesn’t work for you, it’s okay to let it go. What works for one teacher may not work for another, and that’s perfectly fine.

Building Relationships: The Foundation of Effective Teaching

Strong student relationships are essential for a successful classroom. Dedicate at least the first few days to getting to know your students. These conversations may initially feel surface-level—discussing favorite sports, candy, TV shows, or music—but they serve as a starting point for deeper connections. When asking students about their interests, be sure to share your own—modeling this interaction fosters mutual trust and engagement.

As the year progresses, find ways to incorporate personal connections into your curriculum. This can be done through warm-ups, exit tickets, or content-related discussions. For an English teacher, personal reflections and discussions are naturally woven into lessons, but small moments for connection are possible even in subjects like math. A little effort goes a long way in building trust and rapport.

However, always maintain professional boundaries. Avoid oversharing personal details, and remember that as a teacher, you are a mandated reporter. Some students face challenges far beyond their years; you may hear complex stories. If a student shares something concerning, you must report it appropriately.

By remaining authentic and prioritizing relationships, you can create a supportive and engaging learning environment where you and your students can thrive.

You Are Your Best Advocate

Above all, remember that you are your strongest advocate. Stay true to your values and teaching philosophy, and never lose sight of what matters most. This ties back to authenticity—finding fulfillment in this profession requires staying aligned with your core beliefs and principles.

That said, being true to yourself does not mean imposing personal views or political opinions on students. In many states, doing so is against ethical guidelines. Instead, model the values you believe in through your actions. If family is important to you, foster a classroom environment that feels like a supportive community rather than expecting students to conform to a traditional family structure. If you believe in equality, empower all students to express their perspectives respectfully rather than promoting a singular viewpoint. Demonstrating fairness, inclusivity, and critical thinking allows students to develop their values in an unbiased environment.

Applying these foundational principles can make your first year as a teacher successful. While there are countless strategies to help you navigate this journey, too much advice at once can become overwhelming. Start small, implement changes gradually, and refine your approach over time. Teaching is a lifelong learning process—embrace it with confidence and authenticity.

How to Review the School Day at Home: A Guide for Parents

Reviewing the school day at home can be a valuable practice for reinforcing learning, fostering communication, and strengthening the parent-child relationship. Parents play a pivotal role in helping children process what they learn at school, fostering a deeper understanding of academic content and supporting emotional development. Research suggests that discussing the school day can enhance memory retention, boost motivation, and build stronger academic habits (Epstein, 2011). This blog explores strategies for parents to effectively review the school day at home, promoting both academic success and emotional well-being.

Open-Ended Questions Encourage Meaningful Conversations

One of the most effective ways to review the school day is through open-ended questions, which encourage children to reflect on their experiences. Instead of asking, “How was school?”—which often elicits a simple “good” or “fine”—parents can ask more specific questions that prompt deeper thought. Questions such as “What was the most interesting thing you learned today?” or “Can you tell me about a challenge you faced?” allow children to express themselves in more detail and engage in meaningful conversations.

Research by Fishel and Ramirez (2005) suggests that open-ended questions help children reflect on both academic content and their emotions, fostering emotional intelligence and self-awareness. Parents should listen actively and avoid interrupting, allowing the child to take the lead in sharing their thoughts. This process not only helps children articulate their learning but also fosters a sense of support and encouragement from the parent.

Incorporate a Routine

Creating a routine for reviewing the school day can benefit both parents and children. Just as students thrive on classroom routines, having a set time to discuss their day at home can provide structure and consistency (Epstein, 2011). Whether it’s during dinner, on the ride home from school, or before bedtime, establishing a regular time for reflection can help children prepare mentally and emotionally to share their thoughts.

Routines also ensure that reviewing the school day becomes a habit rather than a sporadic activity. According to Clear (2018), habits are more likely to stick when they are tied to specific cues—such as the end of the school day or a family meal. By setting aside a specific time for this conversation, parents can create a predictable space for children to share their day and process what they have learned.

Celebrate Small Wins

Acknowledging and celebrating small achievements during the school day can boost children’s motivation and confidence. When reviewing the day, parents should focus on both academic and social accomplishments to reinforce that all aspects of the school experience are important. Positive reinforcement, such as recognizing effort in completing a challenging assignment or highlighting acts of kindness, encourages children to take pride in their work and social interactions.

According to Carol Dweck’s (2006) research on the growth mindset, praising effort over inherent ability helps children understand that they can improve through hard work. By celebrating progress rather than perfection, parents can help their children develop resilience and a love of learning. Simple gestures, such as verbal praise or spending quality time together, can reinforce positive behaviors associated with schoolwork.

Focus on Emotions, Not Just Academics

School days are not just about learning math or reading; they are also filled with emotional and social experiences. It’s essential for parents to recognize the emotional dimension of their child’s school day when reviewing it at home. Asking about how a child felt during different parts of the day, how they navigated social interactions, or whether anything made them feel frustrated or proud can open up a broader conversation about emotional well-being.

Studies by Elias et al. (1997) highlight the importance of emotional intelligence in academic success. When parents provide a safe space for children to express their emotions, they help build emotional regulation skills, which are crucial for managing stress and maintaining focus in school. Additionally, validating a child’s feelings—whether they are excited, frustrated, or anxious—can create a supportive home environment where children feel understood and valued.

Encourage Problem-Solving and Reflection

Part of reviewing the school day should involve helping children reflect on any challenges they encountered. Whether it’s a difficult math problem, a disagreement with a friend, or anxiety about an upcoming test, parents can encourage their children to think critically about how to address these challenges. Asking questions like “What do you think you could do differently next time?” or “Is there anything you need help with?” can guide children toward problem-solving strategies.

According to Xu and Corno (2020), reflection and problem-solving are critical skills that contribute to academic resilience. By encouraging children to think about solutions rather than just problems, parents can foster a sense of independence and self-efficacy. This approach also reinforces the idea that challenges are a normal part of learning, helping children develop a healthy attitude toward overcoming obstacles.

Conclusion

Reviewing the school day at home offers numerous benefits, from reinforcing academic concepts to fostering emotional intelligence. By asking open-ended questions, establishing a routine, celebrating small achievements, and focusing on both academic and emotional experiences, parents can create a supportive environment that encourages their children’s growth. This daily review not only strengthens the parent-child bond but also instills lifelong learning habits that contribute to academic success and emotional well-being.

References

Clear, J. (2018). Atomic habits: An easy & proven way to build good habits & break bad ones. Avery.

Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House.

Elias, M. J., Gara, M. A., & Ubriaco, M. (1997). Emotional intelligence, social problem solving, and applied intelligence. In Social development: Relationships in infancy, childhood, and adolescence (pp. 167-193). Sage Publications.

Epstein, J. L. (2011). School, family, and community partnerships: Preparing educators and improving schools. Westview Press.

Fishel, M., & Ramirez, L. (2005). Parent involvement in children’s education: A review of research and policy. Family Involvement Research Digest, 1-6.

Xu, J., & Corno, L. (2020). Engaging homework: Perspectives from teachers, parents, and students. Theory Into Practice, 59(1), 45-55. https://doi.org/10.1080/00405841.2019.1682173

3 Methods of Modeling in the ELAR Classroom

Modeling in the classroom is vital for helping students do their best. As educators, we often strive for perfection in showing students how mechanics should be completed, whether it’s fluency, compression, writing, editing, or revising.

But the reality is that even teachers need to model mistakes in a classroom. It makes teachers human and allows kids to connect with their teachers and release the pressure of perfection.

1) Write Without Organization

One of the first things I model with my students is brainstorming and writing. I don’t worry about details, paragraphs, word choice, introduction, conclusion, setting, etc. I just write.

Whatever flows from your mind should be processed on paper. You should never try to make the first attempt perfect – not with grammar, spelling, content organization, etc. Students should see you struggle as they would struggle. They should note any mishaps you have so they don’t feel pressured to be perfect at the start.

If you teach middle or high school, you likely have multiple classes. It would help to have an imperfect draft as a model. If you have time, it’s suggested that you write in front of them for every class. One way to spice this up is to create a different prompt for every class so you have multiple stories to tell.

Why is this important?

Sometimes, students feel the pressure to be perfect in their writing, which can cause brain fog. They get so wrapped up in needing all the literary elements that they forget the story’s basics.

Allowing a student to write freely lets ideas flow and run through without stress about perfection or judgment. Students who “just write” often find it easier to adjust their writing and revisit their content to ensure greater success.

Allowing them to write will also enable students to choose what they want YOU, as a teacher, to focus on during revision. Once the student gets the basic story on paper, you can focus on differentiation through small-group instruction.

If you allow them to write before creating a graphic organizer to separate the organization into paragraphs, you allow them to gather their overall thoughts before trying to break them down into big ideas. They can take apart their own essays and place them into “categories,” which become the paragraphs of the paper.

This can also make grading more manageable for you by allowing the student to focus on one thing at a time.

How to implement a small group after “just writing”:

Some small groups could be the standards that push students to the next level, which automatically leads to revision:

  • Theme
  • Thesis/Claim
  • Character Development
  • Sensory Detail
  • Introduction/Conclusion
  • Supporting Evidence
  • Use of Text/Graphic Features
  • Organization
  • Setting
  • Word Choice
  • Grammar
  • Conflict-Resolution

2) Marking the Text

When introducing a new concept, it is important to mark the text. This is best done color-coded. I personally enjoy different colored highlighters or colored pencils. I have the students match my colors as much as possible to ensure they have the same notes I do.

How to implement:

For example, when we learn about CER (Claim, Evidence, Reasoning), we use three colors. I like to use blue, red/pink, and green, but any three colors will work. I often do Blue for Claim, Red/Pink for Evidence, and Green for Reasoning.

During the first read of the passage, we just read, think aloud, and process what’s being said. We may pause and discuss chunks, summarize chunks, or find methods to help us “remember” the paragraphs of each section.

On the second read, we often look for the colors, focusing on one at a time. We will discuss what the claim is and how we know it’s the claim. Once the claim is identified, we often discuss the various ways it can be stated. As we read, we highlight in blue any mention of the claim. We discuss why the author repeats the claim throughout the passage, not just at the beginning and end.

On the third read, we focus on the red/pink for evidence. When we discuss evidence, we look for statistics, references, citations, etc. We look for facts about the topic. We avoid opinions, thoughts, and unproven methods. Whenever we see evidence, we highlight it in red/pink. From there, we discuss how the evidence supports the claim and why it’s essential to include it. This deepens understanding of how authors are intentional in their work.

On the last read, I focused on the green for reasons. Reasons support the evidence, which supports the claim. Reasons are the explanations for why the evidence is important. We draw attention to this to help students see the author’s thought process for supporting their claim.

Why it’s important:

By color-coding and modeling this, students can see the paper’s organization and better understand the author’s craft.

This gives a visual representation of writing for students. This allows students to see whether their own writing mirrors the author’s and make adjustments as needed. Students can go back to their papers and color-code their papers. If they do not see all three colors, they can revise to help their claim.

This method works for any genre or standard. The important thing is that there is a color-coded key for students to follow and refer back to often, ensuring they have a reliable reference for their own use.

3) One-Pagers

One mistake educators often make is believing students are familiar with certain classroom strategies. Though students may have a concrete background in most strategies, treating each strategy as brand new is essential.

Modeling one-pagers is vital because everyone has a different idea of what a one-pager should look like. The expectations should be drawn out as you grade a student’s one-pager. Sometimes, having a good and a “bad” example will help the student understand the difference. Students don’t need to be artists, so it’s essential to show that they don’t by incorporating stick figures, too!

How to implement:

One of the first activities I do at the beginning of the year is a one-pager about myself. On this one-pager, I put information strictly about me there: my interest in reading, writing, cats, traveling, pens, favorite snacks (Skittles, Doritos), shopping (Amazon, Target, Ulta), drinks (water, Coca-Cola, Dr. Pepper), and general information about my family (like two brothers, two nieces, two nephews, etc.).

When I do this, I incorporate different lettering, page breakdowns (how the one-pager is organized), images, colors, and more.

Why it’s important:

This is a great way to build relationships with students and set expectations for one-pagers. I only make one for this, even if I teach multiple classes, because it takes so much time. Sometimes, I will create or add to them in each class so students can see my progress. Having it already created allows me to think aloud with the students on the one-pager and explain why I chose what I did and how it ties to the rubric.

Modeling Doesn’t Stop There

Modeling is incredibly important for students, whether in first grade or eleventh grade. It allows students to see the process in action and process their learning with it. There are millions of ways to model within the classroom. Starting small with one of the methods above is easy and not too time-consuming. It doesn’t require much adjustment.

One of the biggest benefits of modeling is that it allows you to identify and address any misconceptions students may have during the creation process. I always told my students, “I never give you anything I haven’t done.” I do this not only to determine misconceptions but also to determine their interest in the topic at hand. If I’m bored, they’re bored.

How Fast Life Changes: House Fire & Post-Op

I meant to update with my post-op hysterectomy, but life happened.

I had surgery on June 23rd. My post-op appointment was July 31st. Work started on August 1st. But…My mom had a house fire on July 23rd.

The house fire was my childhood home. I grew up in that house and lived there for 26 years. Memories filled that home with good and bad. A lot of the “major” events of my life happened there: high school graduation, Bachelor’s degree graduation, Master’s degree graduation, first job, current job, and much more. My mom lived in that house for 40+ years and owned it. She didn’t have insurance because State Farm dropped her for prior claims.

If you’d like to donate to the GoFundMe, we would greatly appreciate it. I also have Venmo (@AngelBoucher) and Cash App ($AngelBoucher).

She and my brother lost everything: clothes, hygiene, their home, furniture, bedding, towels, etc. My brother’s car key and phone melted in the fire. We had to call a locksmith to make him a new key. She also needs to find a new home. My mom is 70 years old, which is nearly impossible to start over. HUD housing has a 2+ year waitlist. Habitat for Humanity is not taking applications. We’ve reached out to a million people, and there just isn’t much help right now, understandably so.

My mom and brother made it out, barely, along with their dogs. Some cats made it out, while others did not. Immediately following the fire, my brother moved in with my oldest brother and sister-in-law. My mom moved in with me.

The fire started with a window air conditioning unit. Because Texas has had an extremely dry summer, the grass around it was dry and dead. The fire spread quickly, causing the majority of the house to burn and all of my brother’s RV. What wasn’t burned was filled with soot from the fire. The house was declared a danger, uninhabitable, and a total loss. Two cities had to come help put out the fire. It took several hours to put out. It reignited and required them to come out a second time.

It’s been extremely stressful and depressing since the fire. Add on work stress and normal life stressors. It’s been a rough month and a half. I haven’t had the time or mental capacity to update. Processing so much loss in such a short time is difficult.

Wednesday, September 6th, 2023, what’s left of the house gets demolished. At first, I was okay with the thought. As it nears, I am much more emotional about it. I couldn’t figure out why. The memories exist regardless of whether the physical house exists. But then it hit me…

The house has two meanings to me:
1) It was the last big physical memory of my dad.
2) The house was symbolic of my life: from the happy, new beginnings to the demise into pieces. I won’t go into details right now, but…it really made my emotions make sense.

I knew I had to make this post. Not only for those curious about the hysterectomy, but also a general update. I’ve been struggling mentally.

Mental health is not talked about enough. As someone who used to write for a mental health company, I am pretty self-aware. Not everyone is, and not everyone has support. I think it’s important for more people to talk about the reality of how strenuous things (small and big) can be on the mind. At times, it can feel incredibly overwhelming. At other times, I feel completely numb and lack any empathy.

As for my post-op, everything was fine. I had a few stitches not yet resolved. He cleared me to return to normal activities. I have yet to make it to the gym. He said that a year after surgery, my body was only 80% healed. I found that fascinating. The doctor mentioned that my scar tissue would break down and build up over and over throughout the healing process. I may experience discomfort at times, but generally I should be okay. He emphasized listening to my body. He said I wouldn’t need any future exams because I chose a full hysterectomy.

In the midst of everything going on, I chose to get a tattoo to symbolize my hysterectomy.
Yellow = Endometriosis
Teal = Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)
Magenta = Adenomyosis
Purple = All three mixed together

A lot has changed in my life in the last month. A lot will continue to change. Every day I get stronger – mentally and physically. Life will never cease to amaze me.

I plan to use the next couple of months to regather myself and figure things out.

Tips & Purchases for Hysterectomy

If you’re like me, you’ll probably research a lot about your surgery before it happens. It’s always better to go into something prepared. As I told my mom, I’d rather have things I don’t need and return them than not have them and need them. We all heal differently, but almost every woman can agree that these items will help with the recovery of a hysterectomy.

Any product link is NOT affiliated.

General Tips

1. Hydrate: I was lucky to be told I could hydrate up to two hours before surgery. In fact, I was given a special pre-surgery drink from Ensure that is supposed to help with recovery. I looked into this because I thought it was just a marketing scheme, but there are actual medical studies on how this drink helps patients recover. One thing I was told and believed to be true was that the more hydrated I am, the better my recovery will be. In my mind, I rolled my eyes. However, it was true. Leading up to my surgery, I made sure to drink at least 60 ounces of water every day. After surgery, I drank at least 120 ounces in the hospital in 48 hours. I peed like I’ve never peed before, but that’s a good thing (we’ll talk about catheters later). During recovery, my days were a hit-and-miss. On days I didn’t drink enough, the next day was rough. On days when I drank plenty of fluids, I felt unstoppable the next day. Stay hydrated!

2. Walk A Lot: You’ll want to lie around in the hospital bed and/or at home a lot. It’s natural. Everything hurts. However, the more you walk, the better you’ll feel. Walking not only helps with muscle inflammation and rebuilding, but it also helps move the surgical gas through your body. The use of surgical gas is one of the worst parts of this procedure (see below). The faster you get it out of your system, the better you’ll feel. When you walk more, the gas moves around, helping it escape. Walking also helps the bowels function, preventing constipation (details coming later). Lastly, walking helps reduce the possibility of blood clots.

3. TAP Block: I was lucky to have them give me a TAP Block during surgery. Even with that, though, I woke up from anesthesia in severe pain (see below). After waking up, they offered me a second TAP Block. TAP Blocks are similar to epidurals but are administered in the front of the body to block the nerves of the lower limbs. It was an uncomfortable shot, but it was well worth it considering the pain you’ll have when you first wake up. It will help with recovery and lessen the pain, in turn lessening the need for pain meds.

4. Rest: You’ll want to return to normal activities. Don’t let your body fool you. You’ll have some great recovery days, but if you overdo it, it can cause more damage to the site. You’ll want to test as much as you can to ensure you heal properly so you won’t have secondary effects. No matter how ready you feel, do not lift things!

5. Have Someone to Help: If you live alone, make sure to have a plan for someone to help you. In the first few days, you’ll be unable to do anything. Don’t try to force it. Having someone to help do laundry, dishes, get food, etc., is helpful. You’ll not want to risk injuring yourself during recovery.

6. Prepare for Waking Up: Waking up from anesthesia will be the worst you’ve ever felt in your life. I felt myself tossing around in the hospital bed, crying in pain. No one talks about those first 10 minutes, but it is the worst. It’s like you’re waking up in the middle of the surgery itself. Luckily, if you have good nurses, they’ll notice it and handle your pain meds immediately. After you get over the first two hours of anesthesia wearing off, you are golden! Nothing will compare to the feeling of just waking up, though.

7. Have Things to Do: You’ll get bored incredibly quickly after the surgery. There is only so much you can do on your phone, including games. It may become hard to focus on audiobooks and reading because of the medication. You won’t be able to lift anything, so you’ll have to be careful about what activities you choose to do. You won’t be able to eat anything either. I personally used this time to learn how to crochet and expand my interest in writing. Hide the credit card because it will be so easy to just shop from your phone all the time!

8. Have Easy Meals: Whether you stock up on frozen dinners or whether you have pre-made meals, it’s important to have meals that are easy to reheat/heat. Coming out of surgery, you’re not going to be able to stand over a stove or oven trying to cook something. You’re also not going to want to do a ton of dishes afterward, either. I personally bought quite a few ready soups. Because I knew a liquid diet would be beneficial for moving my bowels. However, I did get some other frozen dinners to make up for days when I felt like I needed solid food or protein.

9. Prepare Mentally: Aside from the physical pain, the emotional/mental side of this surgery is tough, especially if you’re fairly independent. You will need support, good friends/family to check in on you and help you, and you’ll need distractors for things you can no longer do or pain.

Must-Have Items to Buy

1. Gas-X, Miralax, and Stool Softeners: The gas is extraordinarily painful. The gas you’ll have will build up in your intestines and in your body, around your shoulders, rib cage, back, etc. The faster you can relieve this gas, the better you’ll feel. On the same token, the pain medication will/can cause constipation. You don’t want to be constipated because it can cause damage to the surgical site. The easier your bowel movements are, the faster you will heal. You’ll want to take Stool Softeners and Miralax to help get things moving. If you haven’t gone in a week, you need to contact your doctor. It is also recommended to perform an enema if no bowel movement has occurred. Once you have diarrhea, though, back off the Miralax. Diarrhea is equally as bad as constipation when it comes to the healing process. Generic brands are fine.

2. Heating Pads & Ice Packs: Heating pads help not only with pain and swelling but also help in moving the gas around. The gas is often the worst part of the surgery, so the faster you move it and release it from your body, the better you’ll feel. Ice also helps reduce inflammation and swelling after surgery. My personal favorite heating device is the electric portable one. I can take it with me to work, drive, etc. It lies flat on my site, ensuring constant contact. A regular heating pad works well at home. Similar to the heating pad, I enjoy the clay ice packs with the Velcro enclosure. It allows me to keep the ice pack flat and apply pressure to the site. At home, the large or extra-large ice pack would be great.

3. Belly Binder: Most of the time, the hospital will provide one for you through your insurance. However, if they don’t, or if you want to be prepared, I would suggest getting a belly binder. It doesn’t have to be fancy or detailed, but a bigger one for the whole abdominal area will help. After surgery, your other organs are fighting for the open space. Add that to the rawness and swelling of the surgery, and it’ll feel like cinderblocks are attached to you. Pulling yourself up, getting out of a seated position, lying down, and even using the bathroom are all painful after surgery, so this will help create a tight feeling to make them more tolerable. It feels like someone is hugging your abdominal muscles all day. It truly feels amazing! I was lucky to get one through my insurance, but Amazon has a belly binder similar to it. You can get them in all sizes.

4. Loose Clothing (Nightgowns/Dresses), Including Underwear: With the swelling and inflammation, you’ll want to have your clothes barely touching you. It’s really recommended to wear nightgowns and/or dresses to have no pressure on your incision sites. It will also allow your incisions to breathe. You’ll relieve so much pain just by going up a size for this surgery. I bought my nightgowns from Walmart. Their nightgowns were soft and cool. I got it one size larger than I needed for comfort and swelling.

5. Apple Juice & Cranberry Juice: Apple juice will help with bowel movements, and cranberry juice will help prevent urinary tract infections. During surgery, you’ll be given a catheter. Depending on how the surgery goes, it may come out immediately. It may be left in. It’s no surprise that peeing after a catheter feels like a gas-fed fire. It’s incredibly painful. The more hydrated you are, the faster that pain will go away. Cranberry juice helps fight a potential infection. These pills can be taken to help as well, but they are not necessary if you maintain hydration and regular urination.

6. Ibuprofen & Tylenol: Your doctor will only prescribe a few pain pills. The goal is to keep you off of them to ensure you don’t get constipated and to avoid possible addiction. They will tell you to begin taking the highest possible doses of Tylenol and Ibuprofen between pain meds to help the body adjust. Once you’re out of pain meds, it’s unlikely your doctor will prescribe more.

Recommended, but Not Necessary

1. Shower Stool/Shower Handles: Lifting your leg and standing for long periods will be difficult. It will exhaust all the energy you have. Standing up straight will feel impossible for the first few days. By using a shower stool, you’ll be able to take a good shower without experiencing too much pain from swelling or from the tightness of standing. If you know someone who had one, I would go that route. The hospital may also be able to get one approved through your insurance.

2. AVO Urinary Tract Infection (Cranberry) Pills: As mentioned previously, there is an increased risk of infection due to having the catheter. You’ll struggle to urinate the first few days as well, which can increase the risk of infection. To prevent that, you’ll want to stay hydrated. These pills can reduce the risk of a urinary tract infection in the meantime.

3. Pillows: If you can afford nice wedge pillows, I would suggest that. However, cheap Walmart pillows will do as well. You’ll want one to protect your stomach, especially if you have pets or young kids. You may also buy a small one for driving to protect from the seat belt. You may want a pillow to prop your legs up. The first few days will be hard to straighten your legs. You may use it in between your legs as well if you’re a side sleeper. I bought four new pillows to help prop up different parts of my body. I probably didn’t need that much, but it was good to have them!

4. Seat Belt Protector: This is a must-have, but there are other options out there. The seat belt protector protects your surgical site from seat belt pressure. It also allows you to place an ice pack or heating pack in there for additional comfort. Although you won’t necessarily be driving, even as a passenger, you’ll want the relief. The one I bought from Amazon has an ice/heat compartment. It’s soft and washable!

5. Abdominal Massager/Heat Pad: Although a basic heating pad would work, these machines do a great job of putting the perfect pressure on the abdomen. They provide a soothing light massage that won’t be too hard on your surgical site. It’s more of a vibration than anything else. What I like most about it, though, is that it sits perfectly around your abdomen, unlike a heating pad that doesn’t have enough pressure to stay in place on your stomach. Some brands are much louder and vibrate more than others, so make sure you read the reviews. I linked my favorite to the heating/ice post.

Post-Surgery Recommendations

1. Cooling Blanket: Once your hormones start acting up, you’re going to start having hot flashes. To help prevent this, a cooling blanket is helpful. It’s a thin blanket that absorbs your heat and turns it into cool air. They usually have running deals on these. I highly recommend that you get one while on sale. My cooling blanket is fairly thin, but it does a great job of dissipating heat.

2. Tower Fan: Along with the hot flashes. I would also recommend getting a tower fan. You may not have hot flashes all the time. That tower fan will be extremely beneficial in cooling you off. The technology behind these fans has advanced significantly, and you can now get one with Wi-Fi. You’ll want one with good running time, height, and strong power.

3. Neck Ice Rope/Fan: I would recommend getting both the ice rope and a neck fan. Both of these will help cool you during a hot flash. I personally prefer the ice rope because it is colder, but the neck fan is also incredibly helpful for circulating air around your face. I got mine off Temu because I had enough notice. However, Amazon also has neck ropes and neck fans!

4. Grabber Claw: If you live alone, I feel like this is essential to have, especially within the first week of surgery. You may end up dropping things during your time, either because you’re fatigued or because it happens. Bending over is incredibly hard, and even bending at the knees hurts. A grabber will help you pick up anything that you may drop. I personally did not use one, but I can see why it would be beneficial.

5. Squatty Potty: I would recommend this even without surgery. I feel like having this will make your bowel movements so much easier. Especially with being on pain medication. Another way around this is to buy yoga blocks to elevate your legs and create the perfect angle for your bowels.

6. Menstrual Underwear/Panty Liners/Adult Diapers: I don’t feel like this one is as necessary unless you had a tough procedure, In which case, the doctor will likely tell you that it was a tough procedure. You will have some spotting after surgery, which is totally normal. How long it lasts depends on how well the procedure goes and how well you take care of yourself during recovery. I personally only have spotting for about twenty-four hours, and then one time after that for very light spotting. I personally only used a panty liner, but I’ve heard many women say they did and found it beneficial.

7. Throat Lozenges: After intubation through the breathing tube, you’re going to have irritation of your throat. It is important that you handle it with cough drops, throat lozenges, or tea. The feeling eventually goes away, but it will be a rough couple of days on top of your abdomen being in pain.

Overall

Recovery isn’t terrible for most patients, especially for those who do it through laparoscopic incisions. If they have made a long incision, recovery will take longer and be more difficult.

The first week is the most challenging. After the first week, things begin to settle, and you start to feel semi-normal. By the end of week two, you feel more like yourself and want to challenge yourself to do more. Remember, you are still recovering. Despite how strong you may feel, it’s important to relax and recover.

Hysterectomy: 14 Days Post-op/2 Weeks Post-Op

I made it! 2 weeks post-op/14 days post-op!! God time flies! It feels like it was just days ago!

I literally feel like I could run a marathon! Don’t worry, I’m not. I’m still sitting on the couch or laying in bed most days.

Today was, by far, the best I’ve felt. It’s the most normal I’ve felt. For some reason, I’m so disgustingly happy. 😆 I feel so energized. I feel great, actually! I told a co-worker this is the most like “me” I’ve felt in 10+ years. I felt giddy, hyper, happy, and just optimistic. I haven’t felt that in ages!

But…

Two nights ago, I almost went to the ER. I was hit with incredible pain at 1:00 in the morning. I was in bed, fetal position, sweating, couldn’t straighten my legs, nauseous, bleeding, etc. I still don’t know what caused it. The following day I could barely walk. I had to use the walls and dressers to keep me up and support me. He did say some days would be bad, and it may be even months out when I get random pains until everything settles and heals. I just figured it was one of those moments. I didn’t get any clots and no bright red bleeding, so I just went with it and kept on pushing on.

Now for the sappy, vulnerable part.

It’s amazing how your body can change so fast and random. From a painful day to feeling brand new – quite literally. I’m so impressed by little things. My incisions externally are already scarring over. I never heal that easily and fast. I have a bug bite I got weeks before surgery still busting open and unhealed. Literally, it takes months for wounds to heal on my sometimes. For me to scar over in a matter of two weeks for my incisions is so impressive.

I am so proud of my body for what it’s been doing. I wish I could tell it how proud I’ve been of it. As cheesy as it sounds, from walking to using the bathroom to healing outer wounds… I’m beyond impressed at what it’s overcome and done to heal itself in two weeks. Certain things are still hard (lifting I’m not even attempting, sneezing is weird still, coughing is suspicious), but overall I’m so proud of my body.

I’ve learned a lot about myself in two weeks like taking for granted simple tasks like doing dishes, forcing myself to ask for help, or not realizing just how hard mentally it is for me NOT to be strong and independent. I realized I no longer know my “style” or what I “liked” to do. I bought new dresses but hated how they looked on me. But then I looked and thought, “This is definitely not my style, but what is?” I still don’t know, but I’ll figure it out one day. I realized I was watching shows more so for background noise than interest. When I started actually watching them, I was thinking, “This is terrible!” It’s amazing how one surgery can put so much into perspective.

That’s okay… in two weeks I’ll go back to my bad habits of not thinking about those things and overworking myself. 😆 When I’m working, I give 110% of myself to the job, and I literally have no time to discover things about myself or think/reflect outside my job. Yes, I know that’s unhealthy, but that’s just who I am. It’s hard to turn off your mind when you’re a teacher and responsible for so many kids and their future.

I don’t see much changing until my follow-up appointment in two weeks, so I’ll probably do my next update then. I did get the pathology report, but it’s all medical terms. As soon as I can sit down with the doctor face-to-face to discuss it, I’ll go over that more. Until then, we’ll keep it in the file!

Hysterectomy: Day 4 – Week 1 Post-Op

I made it one week! 5 more weeks to go, unless I’m cleared sooner! Time is flying, but also moving astonishingly slow!

Day By Day Breakdown

Day 4 was exceptional! If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought I was normal! I did some small things around the house and took a modest walk to help with the movement of the leftover gas inside. I could still feel it around my chest and rib cage. Other than that, day 4 was amazing! It was the first hopeful day I had!

Day 5 was arduous. I had such incredible pain and muscle spasms. I couldn’t tell what was normal, what was hurting, where it hurt, etc. It just hurt all over. However, my brother did come by to help with laundry, dishes, taking the trash out, etc. While he was here, I got to play with my niece. She’s almost 7 months old, and seeing her giggle made me smile. I needed it! I did end up emailing the doctor today to check if some things were normal. Apparently, they are. I cried several times today. I didn’t want to move at all. My body felt like a million knives were being stabbed into any given area at any given time. I ended up calling the doctor today because of how bad things were. I also ran out of pain medicine today, which didn’t help!

Day 6 was better. It was like a marriage of days 4 and 5. I was able to do a little bit around the house (dishes, pick up trash around the house, bring things to the outdoor trash can, etc.). I was proud to have only taken two lesser pain pills during the day – my doctor prescribed me a different kind. I’m trying not to take them for several reasons; however, if I need them, I will. I have no addiction in my background, but I don’t want to risk it. I know I also need to build up my pain tolerance, rebuild my muscles, and do more (not too much) without the medicine. I need some normality back in my life. Later in the day, my mom brought me out to dinner tonight. She drove, as I’m not cleared yet and don’t want to risk it. We had a good laugh at dinner that hurt my surgery site, but it was worth it!

Day 7, one week post-op, was a slightly smaller version of day 5. I slept an absurd amount. I kept having spasms, and everything just felt heavy. I tried to do some things around the house, but everything was so exhausting. I received a call that my new meds were ready, so I had my brother drive me to get them. I forgot my seat belt protector and the seat belt felt awful on my site. The spasms radiated through my back and legs. I would stop breathing at times to catch myself from cussing. As it lightened up, I would try to do focused breathing techniques. This was also the first day I didn’t have a single bowel movement. I hope tomorrow there is one, as I don’t want anything damaged from the swelling due to the lack of one. I hate talking about things that should be so private, but it’s a reality of the surgery.

Overall Assessment

Well, part of me was expecting a much harder recovery. I envisioned being in bed, crying nonstop, beginning for it to go away. Although I’ve had a few rough days, it’s gone fairly well. I find myself, at moments, being incredibly proud of my body. I’m impressed that I can go through such trauma and be doing as much as I am.

On the other hand, I’m incredibly frustrated. Doing this alone isn’t easy, especially mentally. When you’ve lived so long being independent, you feel hopeless when you can’t even do the dishes. Little tasks take so much effort and energy that you begin to fall into a dark spot mentally.

I’ve cried more in the last week than I did in the last year combined. On day 5, I cried five times within two hours. My emotions are all over the place. Very rarely have my tears been from pain. Most of my tears have been from the frustration of not being able to do things or see people. I hardly saw the outside in the seven days. It’s very isolating! I had a million people check on me, which made me feel good, but it wasn’t the same as seeing people, being able to walk to get your mail, handling laundry, etc. It’s sad when you get “proud” because you could stand the entire shower and not use a shower stool.

One thing for sure is this is a very humbling experience. It let me know how much I’ve taken for granted. It also lets me know I don’t give myself enough credit for what I do every day. I should be extremely grateful to be able to do some of my daily tasks. There are people in this world that can NEVER take the trash out, can NEVER do laundry, etc. It may not be fun to do, but I’m glad I can do it.

I’ll probably post weekly updates until I’m cleared, then go every few months. I’ve heard others have post-op concerns up to a year later.

The good feeling I have, though, is that not a single person I’ve talked to has regretted this decision, especially those with endometriosis and adenomyosis. As of now, I’m not regretting it. I’m looking forward to a life that I can live and function with minimal problems.

Hysterectomy: Day 2 & Day 3 Post-Op

Day 2 Update

Oui. That’s all I can really say. Being at home is much harder than having help in the hospital. Whether it’s making sure you stay on top of medicine or just getting up, life at home is hard – especially when you live alone.

My internal alarm clock has been doing a great job at waking up in time for medicine. I set alarms just in case I do sleep through it, which I haven’t yet. It’s a little rough waking up every two hours (about), but I’d rather stay on top of medicine than be in pain.

Binder… I took off my binder last night to “air out” my stomach. I started getting itchy and irritated where the Velcro hit. While I “aired out,” I alternated a heating pad and ice pack. Again, I didn’t feel much relief, but it was still helpful in some ways. I placed the binder back on for bed, as it’s recommended to help ease the movement of internal organs, and gas, and provide support to missing pieces. I woke up several times with the Velcro stabbing and irritating my skin. I took it off around 6:00 am this morning during one of my dosing times. I readjusted it on top of my clothes to see if it would help with the skin irritation. It does, but I can’t seem to get it as tight as I would want it to be. The nurses made it so tight. Maybe it’s because I was more swollen in the hospital than at home.

I also woke up several times itchy. I’m not sure what’s causing it. It’s all over my stomach, sides, and legs. I don’t think it’s a reaction to medicine, because I have it all the time. I have these little raised purple-red dots all over my abdomen. I’m trying not to scratch or touch them.

My brother was extremely helpful today. He went to the store for me for more water (the sports cap Ozarka is a life saver when stuck in bed), ice, real food, and Tylenol. Luckily, I can have solid food. I’m having bowel movements, so there’s no concern about being backed up.

For sleeping, I’ve been holding a pillow to 1) ensure my sweet kitties stay away from my surgery spot and 2) in case I need to sneeze, cough, clear my throat, etc. I’ve also been sleeping with one between my legs (I’m a side sleeper). I underestimated how much this would help. I may not get rid of this when recovery is over!

I still have incredibly painful gas build-up inside of me. Even with passing gas, I feel the movement of gas in me. It is insanely uncomfortable. It is especially so because of the fact that I can’t just “push” like normal. I have to be careful about the pressures I induce on my surgical site. Because of that, I’ve been moving and trying to find other ways to release the gas. Most women who have the surgery complain about the gas being in their shoulders and such. Mine has been all abdominal. I had one day where it was trapped under my rib cage, but that dissipated quickly. I guess that’s why they emphasize that every surgery is different because every body is different.

Speaking of different, I started sweating last night. I can normally tolerate my ac at around 74 degrees. However, my ac was on 68, and I was sweating. I’m not sure if that’s due to the hot flashes and hormonal changes, the pain meds, or something unrelated. The doctor told me the symptoms of menopause could show up in days or not for months. I guess time will tell! I’m off to take some more meds and take another nap until someone can swing by to help a little.

I showered. It wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t miserable. It definitely felt uncomfortable and difficult with lifting arms. I’m glad I got the shower, though. It didn’t really help with the itchiness, but it did make me feel cleaner. I have a massive fear of infection, so I want to make sure I am as clean as possible. I barely scrubbed though, as I was in pain. However, I made sure to focus on the abdomen area getting clean.

I stayed awake most of the day, surprisingly. I alternated between a recliner, the couch, and walking. My boredom is definitely getting the best of me. I also alternated between ice and heat. Heat feels way better than ice, but they’re both really helpful.

Day 3 Update

I woke up with some pretty rough pain this morning. I don’t know if I “overdid” it yesterday or if it’s normal to be back and forth in pain. After a couple hours, I felt much better though. Part of me thinks it’s just the “tightness” of first waking up (like being awake awake).

I’m still on all pain meds, and I’m still taking them on schedule. I’m honestly a bit worried about when I run out of pain meds. I’ve been very fortunate in not having the side effects of pain meds (like constipation). I also know I can’t live on pain meds forever. Aside from that, I honestly hate taking medicine unless I absolutely have to.

I had a lot more sweats today. Again, I’m not sure if it’s related to the medicine or if it’s a sign of hot flashes. It could be the heating pad, too. It prompted me to buy a cooling blanket, a fan, and an ice neck thing. I figured, either way, I’m going to get hot flashes eventually and could use all items!

I took a good, deep shower today that included washing my hair. Since I felt like I could almost stand straight, I thought it would be a good time to wash the gross hair. I’m at about 94% straight when I stand. I had to sit a few times during the shower because standing for long periods is exhausting.

I have a lot of bloating, soreness, and tenderness. It still feels incredibly heavy (like a ton of bricks trying to fall out of me). Despite that, I didn’t wear my binder today. I thought maybe it was causing the reaction in my abdomen. I also know I need to work on rebuilding those muscles. I’ll probably wear it later just to help compress some of the internal organs into place.

Internally though, I feel so much energy. I was on the couch thinking about how I wanted to do a full workout. I know better. I’m not going to do it for several reasons, but I just found it interesting that I’m so energized this soon in my recovery. At the same time, I’m completely exhausted. I sleep a lot. Simple things like standing to make food or a drink take so much energy. It’s weird how the body can switch so quickly between tiredness and energetic.

One thing I noticed about myself is I am EATING. I can’t seem to keep my hands off of food. I don’t know what is causing it (pain meds maybe, body needing recovery energy, etc.). It’s weird, and I don’t like it. I’m not even getting sick from overeating. I don’t have to be hungry to want to eat. I don’t like the feeling, especially as someone who lost so much weight in the last 15 months. I almost have a fear of gaining it all back. I’m already bloated from the surgery, so this just freaks me out a bit more. It should be the last thing on my mind, but it’s a reality in my head.

My goal for tomorrow is to get out and walk in the morning outside. It’s so hot in Texas, but I need to work on working on other grounds. I live on a rocky road, so this will help me with making sure I’m not overconfident in my ability to walk around my house. It’s easy to walk around the same flooring all day, ever day once you are used to it. I just have to make sure I stay close to my house (maybe back and forth on my driveway and street). I also need to work on standing longer periods of time. Today really took a lot out of me just to stand. I’ll likely wear my binder tomorrow to help with not feeling so overwhelmed with my body doing those things.

I do have a follow-up hospital discharge appointment tomorrow. Because the doctor does not want me to drive, I did ask to switch to a virtual/telehealth visit. Luckily, they agreed.

I took some photos of my incisions. They look great! One of them is about an inch long, another is about inches long, and the last is in my belly button and I have no idea how big it is. I’m bruised in the area (expected). I have some redness by the bigger incision, but nothing that’s concerning.

I’m so ready to be healed. I’m ready to see how different I’ll feel. I’m ready to see if I’ll maintain the energy. I’m ready to see if I’ll be pain-free, truly. I’m ready for everything. I just have so much to look forward to. Every day that I feel better is a day I get excited about the future.

Hysterectomy: Day 1 Post-Op

Sleeping in a hospital is awful. You constantly get woken up. You hear a ton of noises that wake you. You’re uncomfortable both from surgery and the general environment. I spent much of my night taking 1.5 power naps with about 40 minutes of wake time between them.

At 2:45 a.m., they came to draw blood. I was luckily awake during that time, so my sleep wasn’t interrupted. I dozed in and out again until about 6:30 am.

Nutrition brought me breakfast (French toast, scrambled eggs, raisin bran, milk, coffee, and orange juice). I agree with just about everything except the coffee and some of the eggs. Hospital food is extremely bland, so it’s almost miserable to eat it. Believe it or not, it’s worse than school lunches! But hey… food is food. There are so many people without food. I’m just grateful I can eat, and I can eat solid food.

I was having bad pains this morning. Two types of pain: pressure (from the gas) and my insides (surgery). I knew I had to pass gas and/or have a bowel movement. Again, I normally wouldn’t talk about this, but it’s important to hear from those who go through it.

I tried to pass gas, and it took so long to get one out. I didn’t want to push too hard for fear of hurting something. After about 20 minutes of on-and-off slight pushing, I finally passed a little gas. It didn’t relieve the pressure, but I knew I was on the right track.

The doctor and nurse came in to check on me and give me more meds. The doctor ran me through some external photos of the uterus, ovaries, and tubes. He said pathology is “fileting” the inside to inspect and take pics. They said I was a perfect surgeon. Absolutely no complications and it was one of the easiest he’s done. He and the nurse said I was doing incredibly well. They said my pain tolerance has been great, and my ability to move has been astounding. I told them I definitely don’t feel like I’m doing well, but they assured me I’m doing really great. The doctor stated I’d be discharged.

The nurse followed up with my meds but was concerned about me going home. Due to my condition, lack of bowel movement, and no PT (physical therapy), she wanted to fight for me to stay another night. I told her I’m good either way. I appreciated her speaking up for me, but I could go either way. She told me she’d get back to me when she brought me my next set of pain meds.

I, again, lay in bed scrolling on my phone, typing this up, when I started to get red, hot, and itchy. I wasn’t sure if I was having an allergic reaction or if it was just my body reacting to the pain and pressure. I called the nurse just to let her look, as I figured they would have a better idea. The itchiness spread to my chest and arms but stopped there. It made me a bit more nervous about going home, alone.

As I waited for answers and Benadryl, the pressure of the gas was hurting so bad. I finally tried to bring my knees to my chest (I didn’t make it… but I did make them come up a bit). Within seconds, I passed gas. This one was huge. Again, I hate talking about this, but it’s important to know for those going through it. I was quite embarrassed, but I knew this needed to happen and knew more would happen. It felt like an overfilled balloon finally popped. Though I still had immense pressure, I was finally in a semi-comfortable spot. Within another two minutes, I passed gas again. This cycle continued about four times. Despite my embarrassment, I was so relieved. I could feel the pressure getting lighter. In my mind, I just kept hoping I got a bowel movement, too, but I’ll take the gas for now.

After the final passing of gas, I relaxed a bit. I watched some videos that made me laugh, which hurt so much. I tried to stop myself from laughing, but it was hard. I knew I needed the humor, too.

The nurse later came back and said what was happening was not a medicinal reaction. If it were, I would’ve shown signs with the previous dosing. That made me feel better.

Lunch was brought to me, and that was probably the most flavorful meal I’ve had since being here. I actually ate 90% of it. However, as I was eating, I started sweating uncontrollably. I was wondering if it was a hot flash, but then I felt my stomach rumble. I got excited and nervous. I ran to the bathroom. At first, I just had a lot of small gas. I was getting my hopes up. I knew I didn’t want to push, based on our earlier conversation. I “pushed” normally and only got gas. So I washed my hands and left. Immediately exiting the door, I felt a rumble and pressure on my rectum. I knew 100% that I was about to have a bowel movement. I walked back as fast as I could. I sat down. Again, nothing was happening. At this point, I was getting frustrated. I was sweating because of the bowel movement that wasn’t coming. I knew I couldn’t push either, but I was so desperate to get out. I sat there for what felt like an eternity, and I felt it move. With the slightest push, it finally came. It wasn’t easy, but it happened. I may have pushed a little too hard, as I saw some blood from my surgical site. I informed the nurse, and she told me that was normal. As long as I’m not straining, it’s okay to push a little.

After leaving the bathroom, round 2 hit. I couldn’t believe it. Literally, within 30 seconds, I needed to go again. Part of me was incredibly excited knowing I needed this. The other part of me was nervous about all the pressure I’d be putting on my surgical site. I let the nurse know again, and she said it’ll feel uncomfortable, and I’ll likely have bleeding or spotting for a few weeks. As long as it’s moving, that’s what’s important.

I only had about an hour left before I would be discharged. Again, part of me was excited to finally be on my way, to sleep in my own bed, to actually sleep, and to be by my babies. The other part of me was nervous about how I was going to manage on my own, especially showering. I won’t attempt that until later, though. I’m worried about how much pressure is too much pressure when pushing. I’m terrified of messing something up. She assured me she would go over all that before I leave.

At about 1:00 p.m., I was discharged. I was transported via wheelchair to the car lane. We immediately got my medications filled and went home. I felt some leakage from the surgery, so I was glad to be home to clean up. They said it’ll be normal to spot over the next couple of weeks.

Once home, I sat in the recliner to just sit. It felt good and crowded at the same time. I finally got up to take some of my meds and prep for a nap. I felt myself dozing off as I was trying to watch a show. I knew it was time. Sure enough, I slept a good 2 hours straight. Something I didn’t do at the hospital.

Waking up was a bit hard. Getting out of bed with no rails or support to pull up. It’ll be an adjustment, for sure. Once I was up, I took some more meds and placed an ice pack on me. I was so glad to have an ice pack that actually stays frozen. The ones at the hospital lasted maybe 10 minutes.

As the night winds down, my gas is building back up. I made a trip to our community mailbox and back (maybe 500 feet walk). It was incredibly difficult, but I knew walking would help rebuild some muscle and help move those gasses around.

I wrapped the night up with my pain medicine and anti-inflammatory. I have my alarms set throughout the day and night to keep me on track for medications. I’m not looking forward to waking up all the time, but if it means being in less pain, I’ll do what I have to do.

Hysterectomy: Backstory (Endometriosis, Adenomyosis, PCOS) & Surgery Day

I wanted to journal my experience with a full/radical hysterectomy as a 38 year-old childless woman.

I’ll try to make this as short and sweet without a ton of details. If you’re interested in more of a background or more detailed information, feel free to reach out to me.

The Decision

Since I was a teen, I’ve battled heavy periods. I ended up in the emergency room several times as a teen with excruciating pain every month. After trying birth control for a while, I finally saw someone else about the issue that was more trained on period pains. Through ultrasounds, they discovered I had cysts and believed I had endometriosis. The doctor put me on Lupron Depot to induce menopause to see if it would help with pains. It was a definite awful moment in my life. It worked, but it was only temporary.

After six months, the relief from pain was back. At that point, the doctor decided to give me a laparoscopy to determine if I had endometriosis. After a long surgery, it was determined I had a pretty severe case of endometriosis. Everything was removed, but it was told to me it’d come back. He said, at some point, I would need to consider a hysterectomy.

Fast forwards 12 years, the surgery in combination to long-term birth control, my endometriosis was pretty controlled, along with my PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). In November 2022, I began to have several breakthrough bleedings. By January, I was in the emergency department again. I was unable to stand straight due to pain. I was given fentanyl, and I was still feeling pain. In April, I was back in the emergency department for the same issue, but this time given morphine. In between those months, they discovered I had several fibroids and signs of adenomyosis. After seeing several doctors, it was recommended by many to have a hysterectomy. I had been preparing for this for years.

As a 38 year old woman, with no kids, it’s not an easy decision to make. I definitely took my time thinking about it. I finally was scheduled for June 23rd, 2023.

Second Thoughts

I have always had anxiety. Leading up to the surgery, I almost canceled a few times out of fear. Fear of pain. Fear of recovery. Fear of death (extreme, I know, but possible). What if it doesn’t take away my pain? What if something goes wrong? Am I making the right choice? Will they not find anything?

Thankfully, I attend therapy anyway for other topics, but we had a conversation about the surgery. It really helped to remind myself of why I was having it done. No one needs to live in chronic pain or on medication for their life to mask chronic pain. Anxiety over surgery is natural. It would be more worrisome to not be anxious about a major surgery.

As I arrived at the hospital, I cried. I cried from fear. I cried from the unknown. I cried at the loss of a big piece of me. I was immediately brought back into surgery to prep. My nurses were absolutely amazing and calming. I can’t thank them enough for their jokes and calming personalities. I can’t thank them enough for making me feel comfortable and supported.

Before I knew it, I was out. I barely confirmed my name and birth date before I was out. But then, I woke up. When I woke up, all hell broke loose.

Surgery Day

I woke up from anesthesia with excruciating pain. I was thrashing around in the bed, crying, and screaming. “It hurts so bad! Oh my God, it hurts!” I’ve had a laparoscopy before, but this was much more painful than every before.

I was almost immediately surrounded by nurses to make sure I was okay. They filled my IV with pain meds. Despite waiting and waiting, the pain never disappeared. I continued to cover around with tears flowing from my eyes, waiting to feel nothing.

At that point, anesthesia came back and gave me a TAP (Trans Abdominal Plane) Block shot. It’s similar to an epidural, but in the front. Apparently, they have me it in the OR as well when I was out. It’s meant to completely numb the area for pain. Getting it in was rough. They needed an ultrasound. Worst of all, I swear I squeezed the nurses hand strong enough to break it. I felt bad after, but she was incredibly understanding and supportive.

I was in PACU (post-anesthesia care unit) from about 9:30 a.m. to about 3:00 p.m. I can not compliment that nurse enough. She was absolutely amazing at everything!

Now, most people go home the same day for a hysterectomy. However, due to my background, they recommended I stay. I obliged, as I had my own concerns. I honestly think it was the best decision for me, too, stay overnight.

So about 3:00 p.m., they moved me to an observation room.

Immediately, they made me walk. Normally, I wouldn’t talk bathroom talk. However, I think it’s important to have this conversation for those considering a hysterectomy. So prior to moving beds, I knew I needed to figure it out.

Prior to surgery, I mentioned that I needed to pee. They told me “not to worry” because I would have a catheter. Apparently, they drained 1,000 CCs from me, which is about 33 fluid ounces. Thank you, teacher bladder!!

After surgery,  while in the PACU, they placed a Purewick system on me. Basically, you pee yourself, and the machine vacuums it up immediately upon sensing liquid. My first pee after surgery was horrific. It was as if someone poured gasoline on me and set it on fire. The amount of effort in that first pee was exhausting. It was incredibly embarrassing, too. Who urinates on themselves? Regardless if a machine collects it, it’s degrading. I HATED it, but it did save me from having to get out of bed.

So apparently, I had quite a bit of dark color. It wasn’t really concerning, apparently.

For those unfamiliar, a Purewick system looks like a thin pad that sits between the labia. When you pee, it auto detects it, goes into a tube, and gets vacuumed. 

I swear I have a purpose to this story.

After moving to my observation room, I had to pee again. It was hurting so badly with the pressure. So once I got into the room, and before they helped me into the new bed, I told them I needed to urinate.

They made me walk to the bathroom. That sounds so lazy, but it’s hard to understand unless you’ve been there. They told me they were taking away the Purewick system to encourage movement.

I wanted to be violent towards them for that. It felt like I had two cinderblocks attached to my non-existent uterus. It was absolutely horrible. I didn’t realize how hard walking, standing up, peeing, and even turning was. I can’t imagine what women with C-sections go through. I have a whole new respect for them, for sure.

But I did it with lots of help. Again, it took a while for the urine to finally come out. It burned again, but not as bad as the first time. It was ridiculous how much I peed. I swear I peed for about two minutes straight. Even the nurses were like, “Oh my… you really did hold it.” I told them, “Thank you, teacher bladder…” Those that know, know. They laughed. Humor is good medicine.

When I stood up with help, I saw a ton of blood. I was mortified, but I was also not surprised. Before I could address the concern, they told me it was “normal,” so I let it go.

Getting back in bed was another battle. Again, I didn’t realize what muscles I now couldn’t use to their full ability until I had to use them.

Once I got into bed, I started my clear diet: chicken broth, popsicle, and cranberry juice. I want excited for it, but I understood their decisions (wanting to tolerate food after anesthesia, preparing if something happens, etc.). I finished the meal and dozed in and out of sleep for a bit.

I woke up with a ridiculous pressure to urinate, AGAIN! Between the IV drip and me drinking, I just knew today should’ve been renamed to Urination Day. I don’t think I’ve ever peed so much before in my life. It was horrifying and oddly good. This round didn’t hurt at all. It was completely clear. No blood at all! I had hope!

I went back to bed and dozed in and out of sleep, scrolling on my phone, etc. That was until the nurse director came in. She wanted to check to see how the nurses were doing and making sure they informed me of everything. I let her know that these were the best set of nurses I’ve ever had and reassured her that everything was good. I brought up some concerns (Chapstick, ice/heat packs, Gas X, etc.). She handled each one almost immediately.

After she left, I scrolled through my phone, updating people, watching videos, etc. Eventually, I fell asleep for a little bit. The rest of the night went pretty well. My mom stayed either me until about 6:30 pm. I did as much walking as I could and used the bathroom as much as I could. I still haven’t had a bowel movement, which is a little worrisome. But the doctor said it’ll be like that, and I shouldn’t worry until I hit a week. Although, I’m not sure I could go a week without a bowel movement.

After a long day, I dozed in and out of sleep through the rest of the night. Sleeping in a hospital is no fun.

Tips for Washington, D.C.

After spending several days in Washington, D.C., I have a few tips for anyone considering the trip.

Do Not Rent A Car, Instead Buy A Metro Pass

Unless you plan to travel outside of Washington, D.C. (Jamestown, Philadelphia, etc.). I do not recommend renting a car. Aside from the cost of renting a car, parking is extremely expensive. Parking is extremely limited within the city, so finding a spot is more of a hassle than just walking.

I highly recommend buying an unlimited Metro pass. I used the 7-day unlimited pass. It made traveling around the city and the surrounding areas easy. It likely saved me a good $100. The metro is easy to use and understand. They also have an app that you can download temporarily to help navigate around town. Using Google Maps also helps you find the closest Metro stations.

Stay Outside the City

To save money, especially if staying over several days, I recommend staying outside the city center. Places like Herndon and Reston are near the airport and the Metro. You can find hotels with shuttle service to save money, or you can take the Metro from the airport to the hotel. Staying outside of Washington, D.C. will save you hundreds of dollars. Yes, the metro takes a bit of time to get from point A to point B, but if planned right, it is worth the distance.

Do Not Use Capital Bikeshare

Although the concept behind it is nice, it is more of a hassle than helpful. I bought the unlimited pass. It is misleading. You can only ride unlimited for 45 minutes at a time. It takes you almost 45 minutes to get anywhere with the mass amounts of crowds in the city. By the time you check out the bike, go to a couple of places, and come back, you’re well into your day. I was charged over $20 on top of the $8 unlimited pass. They charge you by the minute. It is a ripoff, especially if you’re just trying to explore and enjoy your time. Instead, I recommend either planning your trip with walking and Metro in mind or using an Uber in extreme cases. Uber rides aren’t that expensive. I would still only recommend those for travel across the city (e.g., from the Library of Congress to the Washington Monument).

Tickets in Advance

I recommend purchasing as many event tickets in advance as possible (e.g., the Holocaust Museum, the Washington Monument). I recommend waking up early to ensure you have an opportunity to visit some of these limited opportunities.

I would also get tickets to the Capitol and try for a White House Tour well in advance of your trip. If you reach out to your local representatives, they do a great job at preparing you for the trip. Although I wasn’t able to visit the White House on this trip because of Memorial Day weekend and the debt ceiling debate, others were lucky enough to tour it.

Plan Accordingly – Not Everything Is Close; Holidays Are Tough

I grossly underestimated the number of people on Memorial Day weekend. I know if I had attended another weekend, it may not have been so crowded. Granted, I had once-in-a-lifetime opportunities there (Tomb of the Unknown Soldier Flower Laying, Parades, etc.), but it threw a wrench in my timing. Because of this, I ended up seeing fewer things than I had planned.

I also recommend planning things close together. I underestimated how big the city was. There is no way to walk around the entire city to see everything in one day, much less several days. I walked an average of 9 miles a day, and I still couldn’t see everything in three days. Pick the events, monuments, memorials, and sites that mean the most to you and plan around those first.

Prepare for Weather

I made the mistake of packing the light with only one pair of shoes. I recommend sneakers, but bring at least two pairs. Although I knew rain was a possibility, I didn’t expect a downpour. I would bring a purse-sized umbrella just in case and have a plan for where to go if it rains. I enjoyed the moment and lived in the moment. I accepted my fate of being poured on. It’s not an experience for everyone, though.

Hydrate

You will do so much walking that you may forget to hydrate. Although street vendors are everywhere, trying to sell you water, it’s expensive. I would carry some water with you to ensure you do not get dehydrated from all the walking you will do. On some days, it will be extremely humid too, with the moisture from the river. You don’t want to get ripped off by someone selling a $1 bottle of water for $6.

Journey to Washington, D.C. – Day 4 (Jamestown Settlement, Historic Jamestowne, Colonial Williamsburg)

This would be my final day in the Washington, D.C. area. One of the reasons I wanted to visit this city so badly was to see the actual historical context of the people who lived during those times. In doing so, I knew I had to visit Colonial Williamsburg and Jamestown. To do that, I had to rent a car! It was the only time I would drive a car while on this trip!

Jamestown Settlement

My first stop would be Jamestown Settlement. This was first on my list because it best represented the period when people lived, as accurately as possible, through replication.

I paid for several site passes ($119). Although I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this, it worked for me. As a teacher, I wanted to bring back as much information as I could into my classes or my peers’ classes.

Walking in, they did a fabulous job replicating the buildings, jobs, and boats of the time. Everything was sized to the period. They dressed in the 1600s and 1700s. They were extremely informative and included many hands-on activities.

Historic Jamestowne

Historic Jamestowne is the site of the original settlement. This was probably the best visit to date. Although much of the history has been torn down, broken down, etc., archaeologists were there digging and finding new artifacts. We were able to walk through original graves, churches, homes, and more. It felt very surreal walking the same grounds as those from history books, knowing the struggles they had during that period.

Colonial Williamsburg

Colonial Williamsburg was probably one of the sites I was most excited about seeing, but it ended up being the most disappointing part of my visit. It was so disappointing that I left after just a couple of sites. I do not recommend this site at all, which is why I do not recommend the big, expensive site pass.

When I visit places like this, I expect to see history. When I arrived, they said this was a real town built around a historic one. They supposedly had a ton of historical elements within the town. As I walked around, though, almost nothing was historical. What was historical was replicated and not original. It was a bunch of people playing dress up while regurgitating information we learned in history class. I wanted to see artifacts. I wanted to see historical markers. Instead, I saw modern cars driving through town, hotels, and other modern things that took away from the love of history.

Overall, it was a nice visit, but I wouldn’t say Washington, D.C., was my favorite. Follow up for another posting for some reviews or tips if you plan to visit!

Journey to Washington, D.C. – Day 3 (City Center – Supreme Court, Capitol Building, Smithsonian, Holocaust Museum, and Library of Congress)

I knew this was going to be my last day in the city. I had one more long trip I wanted to take before I left the area, so I had to make the most of my time in D.C. today. Yesterday was completely exhausting, but I was going to make use of every moment and opportunity.

Supreme Court

My first stop was to see the Supreme Court. Unfortunately, they were closed to the public the day I went (Memorial Day), but I was glad to have seen it in person. One of my dreams growing up was to be a lawyer. I made the mistake of talking myself out of it. I regret it quite often, but I also believe everything happens for a reason. The Supreme Court always held a special place in my heart – not only because of my dreams, but also because of the things fought for in that building and on those steps.

Capitol Building

With the help of Representative John Carter, I was able to schedule a tour of the Capitol Building. I didn’t realize how big the building was until I arrived there. I stood there in awe, thinking about how this was built long ago, burned down, and rebuilt with minimal tools. The building’s details respected both its past and present history.

One of the coolest facts I learned while here is that they built a Tomb for George Washington at the very bottom of the Capitol. In the center of the Capitol Building, there is a compass that points to a straight shot to his tomb. It is sectioned off on each floor to ensure no one disrupts or disrespects the idea behind it. However, because of Washington’s Mount Vernon Tomb and the family’s wishes, they kept him at his home there.

Another interesting piece of information I learned concerned the rotunda. Around the rotunda is an art piece that serves as a timeline of American history. It dates back to Christopher Columbus and modern-day Space Exploration. It was interesting to see how they tied allthe pieces of history together to show the growth of our country.

Smithsonian Museum of Natural History

I missed my chance at the Holocaust Museum, so I made my way to the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. I’m not big on fossils, gems, or minerals, but I figured, why not?

The part I spent the most time on was the jewels. There was such a beautiful display of jewels from all around the world, gifted to famous U.S. Diplomats.

Holocaust Museum

Though I missed my first chance, I made my second visit to the Holocaust Museum.

I was given a card of a special person who was involved in the Holocaust. My person was a survivor, but we know that was rare. As we made our way through the museum, I learned things I didn’t know previously. I knew Hitler was evil and the period was dreadful for Jews, but this museum really opened my eyes to much more. They had many artifacts to show how bad things were during the period. It walked us through how they brainwashed the country into believing the propaganda.

It took days to get tickets for this, but I highly recommend going.

Washington Monument

Another place I recommend getting tickets to is the Washington Monument. Again, it took a couple of days to score tickets, but I’m grateful I did!

We took a ride up 500+ feet to the top of the Washington Monument. Just like a plane, you felt the pressure change. I had to pop my ears at least twice on the way up. It had stunning views of the entire city of Washington, D.C. It put into perspective just how small we really are.

Library of Congress

My final pit stop was the Library of Congress. I signed up for a tour. I’m glad I did. The columns honored famous authors such as Longfellow, Scott, and Gibbon. As a teacher who teaches reading and writing, I was in awe of the building. I came at the perfect time to visit the Reading Room as well, which is a rare opportunity.

I thoroughly enjoyed my time in Washington, D.C. I learned a lot and lived through moments I normally wouldn’t have had the chance to experience. My appreciation for art and architecture grew tremendously after visiting most of these places. Although I didn’t get to see everything, I experienced a lot.

Journey to Washington, D.C. – Day 2 (City Center – Museums, Monuments, and Memorials)

After an emotional first day, I was looking forward to an exciting touristy day 2. Little did I know this would be the most interesting and enjoyable day yet!

Smithsonian

I knew I had to start at the Smithsonian Museums. As a teacher, I use their resources all the time in class. I didn’t realize they had so many museums until I came to Washington, D.C. Luckily, they are all situated near each other and easy to access. Despite that, I wasn’t able to access them all in my short time, so I had to prioritize.

I boarded the metro for another long travel into the city. Upon arriving, I walked through the streets and took pictures of other well-known monuments (i.e. Washington Monument). I saw other tourists taking photos and offered to help with family photos. They were grateful and almost shocked that I was willing to do that for them.

I started at the Smithsonian National Museum of American History. I wasn’t sure what to really expect, other than history. Surprisingly, it included everything history-related – not just war history.

One of the first displays that stood out to me was the Greensboro Four display. They had part of the counter and chairs from the diner that made history. Just outside of the display, the museum included chairs for visitors to watch a short documentary on the Greensboro Four. These four gentlemen do not receive enough credit for their bravery that day.

As I walked through the displays and rooms, I saw exhibits from the old American education system. The chairs and desks were so incredibly tiny. The outfits were traditional white-and-blue dress codes, with girls wearing modest dresses, even on their arms.

They brought an actual home from the 1600s into the museum. You were able to see the architecture of the time, and it included an interactive family having tea. It told the story of six families living in one home. I’m not sure if I could handle housing another family in my small home. Next to the home, they included a bucket of water that would have been the weight of the time. I didn’t realize just how heavy these buckets were for people to carry back and forth to the home for cooking, bathing, washing clothes, etc. They included a laundry wringer as well. I thought I was strong until I started twisting the wringer.

I made my way to the entertainment portion of the museum. I saw Dorothy’s red slippers. They were on display behind a locked enclosure, but there was a second pair, copper-colored, for patrons to feel. I couldn’t believe just how heavy these shoes were and were made of metal! The entertainment portion continued with original dolls from The Muppets, Mr. Rodgers, Sesame Street, and more. It was very nostalgic, and it made me sad to be a grown adult. It made me sad to realize many of today’s kids didn’t have such great influences as we had.

I remember reading that the COVID mask was brought into the Smithsonian Museum. I remember laughing about it at the time and thinking it was crazy. Sure enough… the mask was there in the Smithsonian Museum.

The Nintendo, old video recorders, old microphones, Nokia phones, pagers, and more were also on display at the Smithsonian Museum. I immediately felt old. I felt ancient as I watched kids walk around, asking questions about things that were popular in my childhood.

The coolest part of the Smithsonian Museum I saw was the First Ladies display. I’m not one for fashion, but I was 100% intrigued by the fashion of the times. One thing I realized was how tiny women were in the 1700s. They were both extremely short and extremely skinny. You can see how fashion evolves over time in its size and design. Long modest clothing (length and arms) became off-the-shoulder, sheer, and closer to the body.

After attending the Smithsonian, I wanted to explore the city for monuments more. I knew I had future days to see other Smithsonian Museums.

Monuments Galore

I rented a Capital Bike to travel around town. I definitely don’t recommend these, but I’ll get into that later. I knew that much walking would kill my back, though, so I took the chance at the suggestion of someone else.

The White House

My first stop would be the White House. I grabbed a bike and tried to find my way to the most famous building in our country. Like the previous day, I realized many streets were blocked off. I noticed many dark-colored vehicles with dark-tinted windows. My only assumption would be that it was the Secret Service. Another interesting thing about Washington, D.C. is that there are metal barriers all over the city – even for flowerbeds and trees.

After fighting with Google Maps for several minutes to get to the White House, I finally found my way there. It included a tumble on my electric bike. It left me with a pretty nasty injury and bruise that led me to limp the rest of the day and the next day. I finally got to the gates of the White House. I always see amazing photos of the place, but I can’t figure out how people get them. There was an incredible amount of security around the White House. I was even afraid to put my arm through the metal gates to get a clear photo of the famous building. I did it though! It was absolutely stunning!

Thomas Jefferson Memorial

My next stop would be the Thomas Jefferson Memorial. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a place I could get up close to or inside. Because I didn’t have a lock on my bike, and I couldn’t park it anywhere in particular, I had to just take photos from a distance. Its location is absolutely stunning as it overlooks a beautiful body of water. The building was undergoing restoration, so parts of it were closed off as well.

At about this time, the weather became extremely humid. I noticed the cloud coverage was getting darker, and a few drops of drizzle were falling. I didn’t prepare for heavy rain. I had a raincoat, but that was about it.

Franklin D. Roosevelt Memorial

My next stop was the Franklin D. Roosevelt Memorial. This one wasn’t what I expected at all. It was a huge park of stone structures and waterfalls honoring Roosevelt, his family, and his causes. Another beautifully designed memorial. The stones were covered with famous quotes, pictures, and statues related to Roosevelt.

Midway through the memorial, it started pouring rain. At this point, I just had to embrace it. It was such a moment, though. I sat in the rain, taking pictures and enjoying the moment of being in the pouring rain and seeing history. It made me think that we, as humans, need to dance in the rain more often. It was so childlike to be poured on. The only downside is that my pants were soaked. Nothing is worse than jeans soaked in the rain!

Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial

I wasn’t going to let the rain stop me. I continued my trek through the city to the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial. Walking between the two rocks, I noticed a huge statue. It was one of the biggest statues I’ve ever seen. On the side of the statue sat a famous quote from MLK Jr., “Out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope.” It made sense why they chose stone to represent MLK Jr.

When you looked at the statue from another angle, the three stones (the two you walk into and his) are connected into one major stone. It made me look up some more information about the design behind it. The thought process behind this memorial was moving.

World War II Memorial

My next stop would be the World War II Memorial. By now, the rain had let up a little bit, but I was still drenched head to toe. Arriving at the WWII Memorial gave me a chance to sit and recover. The sun was peaking in and out. I watched people admire the memorial. I was in awe at the amount of respect and dedication put into this memorial. It was an absolutely stunning and moving memorial. Several people came to honor those who served.

It was perfectly placed within the National Mall. You could see beautiful views of the Lincoln Memorial, the Washington Monument, the Capitol, and more. About that time, it began to pour rain again. I sat in the middle of the National Mall, behind the WWII Memorial and by the Reflecting Pool, and just smiled. I looked at the sky and appreciated the moment of experiencing this blessing.

Other Memorials

I saw some of the smaller memorials on the National Mall.

The Vietnam Women’s Memorial was on the edge of the National Mall. A small but honorable statue expressed appreciation for the women who served during this war.

The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was probably the most moving. As I walked by, I saw a line of people laying flowers along the memorial honoring those who served. The wall includes a list of names of people who were lost during this tragic war.

Band Parade

By the end of the National Mall, I was a bit exhausted. I was heading back to return my bike when I was stopped again by blocked streets. I heard music earlier but didn’t think much of it. As I made my way to the sidewalk, I realized high school bands were performing for the Memorial Day parade. They had color guards involved. In between the bands, they included military veterans. It was actually pretty cool to see the parade honoring those who served. As the parade ran, it rained on and off. I had to give major props to the kids who stuck out in the rain! This also explained the large number of schools I saw the previous day!

Back to the Hotel

I made my way back to the hotel to wrap up for the night. I needed the best shower of my life, but more so, I needed to get my soaked clothes off my body. The metro was packed with people, and I happened to be one of the few soaked. I felt bad trying to sit next to someone, but I just needed to sit.

I decided I’d do laundry. I definitely had to dry my sneakers because they were soaking wet. I didn’t pack well, in terms of extra shoes. I was trying to pack light, but I kind of regretted it at that moment. I threw my shoes in the dryer, ordered DoorDash, and finished laundry. I slept probably the best I’ve slept in ages.

Journey to Washington, D.C. – Official Day 1 (Arlington National Cemetery, Lincoln Memorial, Mount Vernon)

Arlington National Cemetery & Mount Vernon

I woke up incredibly excited! I thought I would start at Arlington National Cemetery because it was “out of the way” from Washington, D.C. City Central. I 100% knew I wanted to visit the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. I always heard stories of how emotional it would be, how they did an amazing job honoring those soldiers, and just the beauty of the cemetery.

I walked to the Metro early in the morning. I was a bit iffy because it was a longer walk than I expected. It wasn’t terrible, though. I arrived at the Metro and followed the signs for the train. It was pretty easy to navigate. When I arrived, I wasn’t quite sure how to use it, though. I purchased a 7-day unlimited Metro Pass that is directly connected to my phone. Luckily, there was a nice gentleman who helped me figure out how to get to the train and explained how it worked. After that first encounter, I felt like a natural resident.

The little kid in me was giddy with excitement when I boarded the train. The last train I took was in New York City over 15 years ago with my dad. I was too young at the time to know how it worked. Before that, it was in Germany. Again, I was too young to appreciate how it worked or the beauty of a train. As I sat down, I looked out the window and took photos of the cities and the actual train itself. I’m glad I went early because not many people were there. I would have been the dictionary definition of a tourist at that moment.

I arrived at Arlington National Metro. I wasn’t sure where to go, but luckily found a couple of people to guide me. Again, walking, walking, walking nonstop. I think I grossly underestimated how much I walked on this trip. I arrived at Arlington National Cemetery. The outside was filled with military memorabilia. My dad was a former member of the military, and they had a big statue to honor that division. I got a little emotional before even entering, knowing my dad passed away and he was a part of history, even if it was in the smallest way. As I approached the visitor check-in, I noticed an insane number of people. I knew it would be busy, but this was almost intimidating. I soon discovered that several schools were there as well (I later found out why).

I made it through the checkpoint and immediately began my hunt for the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. I turned on Google Maps to try to guide me. As I was doing that, I realized there was so much more at Arlington National Cemetery. I walked along the paths as I followed my Google Maps. I saw rows and rows of graves. They looked beautiful in the most sad way, though. They were all clean, perfectly lined up, with perfect writing and designs. I was already tearing up. I didn’t know these people, but the fact that they gave up so much for us made me feel unworthy of being in their presence.

I realized Ruth Bader Ginsburg was buried there. Although I don’t know much about her, I do know she did a lot for our country and for women’s rights. I found her gravesite and just stared in admiration at it. That’s when I turned around and noticed the cemetery had a stunning view of the center of Washington, D.C. I had to take a picture and just admire it for a minute.

I also realized the Eternal Flame of former President Kennedy. When I learned about why he was buried there, it made it a bit more emotional. It fascinated me that a flame existed that was meant to never burn out. Although so simple, it was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever experienced in my life. How could something so sad be so beautiful?

I found my way back on the path to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. I didn’t realize how I perfectly planned this. There was a line to see the Tomb, but today was even more special. Workers from the cemetery came by and handed everyone a flower to put on the Tomb. We were within touching distance of the Tomb. Since it was the weekend before Memorial Day, they held a special ceremony to honor the Tomb.

As we approached the Tomb, one of the soldiers on duty told us we must show respect by being quiet and not recording as we laid down our flowers. They told us where to place the flowers (to ensure they were evenly spread out).

I walked by the Tomb and immediately felt a heaviness in my heart. I bent down to lay the flower down. Had it been my choice, I would have just sat there feeling the ground, but we had to keep moving. I can’t imagine the heaviness some families carried/carried of a loved one that never made it home. A loved one who was never identified. A loved one who gave everything to protect their country.

The soldier who protects the Tomb was stationed at the back of the Tomb for the special occasion. Normally, he’s guarding all aspects of the Tomb, but was limited today due to the ceremony. It was amazing to still see them following the 21-second turn, 21-step protocols, etc. It made me realize how much this Tomb meant to some people. It wasn’t about being there. It was about respect.

I sat on the steps in front of the Tomb and watched as people laid flowers. The next thing I knew, I was wiping away tears and sniffles. Some people were cracking jokes, and it seriously made my blood boil. I wanted to yell and tell them to leave. It blew my mind that people could be so disrespectful, especially given that they had been given an opportunity that comes only a few times a year. People can be shot by getting close to the Tomb on a normal day. This is a day when we have the honor of being close, and you dare to make jokes? It made me sick.

I walked away after composing myself and followed the path back out of the cemetery. On the way, I saw a couple laying flowers on the gravesites of soldiers. They had no idea who these people were, but they were honoring them. I ended up crying again. It moved me to know good people existed in this world, especially after seeing such disgusting behavior just minutes later.

I made my way out to see the Arlington Military Women’s Memorial. Whoever designed this did a fantastic job of creating something moving, feminine, yet so strong. It was oddly relaxing. I would’ve sat there all day, admiring it.

An Unexpected Delay

In between Arlington National Cemetery and Mount Vernon, I decided I’d try to see something in the city center of Washington, D.C. I decided my first stop, and closest stop, would be the Lincoln Memorial. I took the Metro to the nearest stop near the Lincoln Memorial. As I made my way there, I noticed a lot of police and roads blocked off. I didn’t think much of it, other than maybe road work, but I was wrong.

I found my way to the Lincoln Memorial. I went through all the steps and was in absolute awe. I didn’t realize how many steps I had to climb, but when I got there, it was worth it. I had wonderful and beautiful views of the National Mall (which is not a shopping mall). The statue was incredibly huge. It amazed me that someone could make this with minimal tools. They honored the states on the memorial’s outer rim. It was truly gorgeous and breathtaking. It may have been one of my favorite monuments to visit. As I sat there, I realized my time was cut short. I had to haul butt to the metro to make it to Mount Vernon in time for my scheduled tour.

I made the mistake of waiting too long! I ended up caught up in a Memorial Day motorcycle parade. It lasted over an hour. Loud revving engines that just kept coming and coming and coming. There were thousands, if not tens of thousands, of motorcycles. It was never-ending. It made me look up what was happening, which I discovered was a Memorial Day remembrance and demonstration parade. It was called Rolling Thunder. Just as the motorcyclists were finishing, semi-trucks followed. Initially, it was pretty cool. But how many motorcycles can you see without getting irritated by the loud rumbling? Even with my headphones in, I heard it as if I were part of it. It didn’t help that I was on edge about making it to my tour in time, too. It would have been different if they showed patriotism, but it was literally just motorcycles riding with honor. I would’ve loved to see some banners, flags, and other decorations. The semi trucks were much more impressive on this front. There was one moment when a soldier stood in the middle of the traffic at salute to honor those fallen. That was the most impressive part of the demonstration.

When it was over, I walked faster than I ever had in my life to get to the nearest metro (which I later realized was not the nearest). Somehow, I made it without being too irritated by traffic. My focus was on making it to Mount Vernon.

Mount Vernon

My second major visit today would be Mount Vernon, home of George Washington. As a teacher, this was the nerd in me coming out. Although I don’t teach history, I am fascinated by it. I knew that this was one of the sites I had to visit before I left.

Getting here was a bit tough. I had to take several trains and buses to get here. Some of the train stations were extremely sketchy. At one of the stops, I started to feel a bit paranoid. On any other trip, I would have had mace and other defense items. However, in Washington, D.C., you can’t go anywhere with anything – not even nail clippers. I definitely felt out of place and nervous.

I had less than 20 minutes to get to my appointment for the scheduled tour. I knew I couldn’t wait here for 20 minutes. I was already anxious and feeling on edge. I didn’t know what to do. Out of desperation, I took my first Uber. I just had to get out and get away as soon as possible.

I’m a very paranoid person (especially being a female traveling alone), but this Uber driver made me feel safe and comfortable. There was no awkward conversation. He made sure to keep his distance while driving. He never once showed his frustration with other drivers. I felt extremely safe.

I arrived at Mount Vernon and immediately hauled butt to the actual tour. I had about 8 minutes to get there. I do wish they had more signs telling you where what is. It may have been easier if I grabbed a map on the way in, but I didn’t have time. I found the line to the tour. It was a good mile-long line. Again, there were tons of schools here visiting. I was starting to think something was going on (which I later learned was). Luckily, they were pulling people in by their tour times. I was able to move up front based on the time of my tour.

His house was absolutely stunning, even before entering. The perfect symmetry made my ADD heart happy. It was my ideal house because it was symmetrical on both sides. It sat at the end of the river, with a stunning view of the river and the landscapes. It seriously made me feel at ease and calm.

When we entered, it was everything I expected. It encompassed a lot of old memorabilia from that time. The floors were made of stone or dirt. In some spots, they had wood. In fewer spots, they had carpet. Almost every room had a fireplace. The walls were covered in intricate wallpaper, which I’m sure at the time meant you had money. The number of items made from metal and gold was stunning. Canopy beds were apparently a trend of the time. The rooms were decently sized, given the period. It was eye-opening to see the old doors and keys. Some keys were bigger than both my hands put together. In some parts of the property, I was amazed at how well protected he could have been at the time.

We saw George Washington’s desk and old books from that time. Things like this make me sit in awe, realizing how far we have come as a country. Wooden windows that were deteriorating due to age. They are doing a good job at preserving and restoring, though, so I will give them credit! The ceilings featured intricate designs that reflected social status at the time. Many of the items in George Washington’s house were gifts from other countries, including his main fireplace mantel. It blew my mind how everything matched within one room. The wallpaper would match the bedding.

We were able to see George Washington’s room. The same room that he died in. Although I didn’t experience anything paranormal, I’m sure there’s something interesting that happens there. I can’t imagine dying in my house, my house turning into a national treasure, and having hundreds of thousands of people in my home just about every day.

After touring the home, I visited several other buildings on the property. I saw George Washington’s old tomb. The original tomb was meant as a temporary holding space until he would be buried at the Capitol in the city center of Washington, D.C. However, by the time they created a burial site at the Capitol, Washington’s family and estate basically told them no. Instead, they built a new tomb on the property for him and his wife. Again, it was enchanting to see how people survived and lived during that time period.

The most moving part of Mount Vernon was the Slave Memorial. Walking up to the Slave Memorial, there were unmarked graves. They outlined the graves with rope and placed small rocks to indicate who should be buried there. Right next to it, a memorial was built to honor those who were part of the property. It’s not something many people think about, but to have that honor was eye-opening.

Overall, I’m glad this was my first official day. I experienced a range of emotions. I feel like this was the perfect way to start my trip and to be grateful for the opportunities in front of me. I was extremely lucky to have been part of a memorial service honoring those who served, both recently and from the 1700s.

Journey to Boston: Day 4 – Plymouth, MA

My last pit stop on my historical tour was Plymouth, MA. I knew the original features of history were gone, but their ability to recreate it was astonishing!

I started off at the Plimouth Plantation. It included old Native American ways of living. It featured their living spaces, how they kept warm, their canoes (though called something else then), and more. It was amazing to see how people survived the brutal winters in Boston then. It was only 36 degrees, but the breeze made it feel like 28. I could feel the coldness all over my body. It made me think about all those poor lives lost to the extreme cold.

After visiting the Native American portion of the exhibit, I saw a 1700s colony. Walking into these homes put the average lifespan of the time into perspective. There were holes and gaps in the walls (though I’m sure they were much larger due to deterioration over time). Almost all the homes had ground as flooring. Everything was made out of wood. Whether it was from then or rebuilt, they definitely caught the vibe of what old settlers went through. Even with mini fires going on in each little house, it was incredibly cold. The only thought I could imagine was the thought of people freezing to death in their homes, hunting for food in the ice-cold temperatures, and the like. Although completely fascinating, I felt a sense of sadness thinking of the lives of those who had to endure such a factor.

After the village, I decided to visit the gift shop. Again, they had several items, including an old wooden grinding tool and a wooden bowl. I bought a couple of things (Christmas is coming) and headed to the next stop: The Mayflower II.

On the way to the Mayflower, you pass Plymouth Rock. Although there is no true history behind the rock itself, it was amazing to see how this was the landing spot for America. It made sense, but it was also very surreal to see. Looking out at the ocean, Cape Cod, and the endless history behind them was moving in an inexplicable way. I was very grateful for that moment. Despite my feelings about modern America (or even Puritanical America), I felt the settlers’ pride. I know the intentions were good, despite some choppy times and beliefs.

The recreation of the Mayflower was stunning! I boarded the ship, which was all of three levels. I never knew a fireplace was built in the middle of the ship, but I guess it makes sense with the cold weather. I wondered how they were able to supply enough wood and food for 200+ men and women. Again, I can’t imagine living during those times. Inside the Mayflower II were old tools they used, the general layout of the true Mayflower. It was fascinating to see how far ahead of our time we were then. It doesn’t feel like we’ve made too many improvements, though we have over the last 300 years.

I ended my trip there. Although there were a million other places to visit and things to do, I decided I just needed to soak in what I had just experienced over the last few days. I felt something different from what I have with other trips. I felt a connection to everything around me. It was moving in a way that cannot be described. Not in a way that brings tears to your eyes or makes you feel a certain way, but in a sense of, “I felt something change in the connection I had to the area.” It was very surreal. I’m grateful for the opportunity to visit. I know many who dream of going, but never do. I had to share.

Journey to Boston: Day 3 – Boston, MA

Where else do you go to find out about the original history of the country other than…Boston! I think very few places (such as Philadelphia) are as great to learn about American history as Boston! It’s a very fortunate experience.

I woke up early to make sure I wouldn’t be late for my Freedom Trail walk through the city. I was looking forward to seeing some of the most famous sites of American history. I wanted to beat the Masshole drivers as well. I was lucky to arrive early and find parking easily. I walked to Boston Common and immediately fell in love. So many trails, hills, tree colors, people walking and running, and more. It looked like it was right out of a movie!

As I sat and waited for the tour to begin, I called my mom to let her know things were okay. In the midst of the phone call, the squirrels were coming closer. They had no fear of human people. At one point, a squirrel started up my leg, but took off. I started giggling. In Central Texas, the squirrels are terrified of people!

I started making noises to call the squirrels over and snapping my fingers. Twice! Twice, a squirrel jumped onto my lap. It was such an amazing experience. I’ve never seen one so close before in my life. As cheesy as it sounds, it literally made my entire morning. I didn’t care if everything went wrong past that point. I was cheesing like a kid on Halloween who just lucked out discovering the house that serves full pieces of candy!

The tour guide called us over to start. We walked around and listened to the tour guide spout historical facts about each location and Boston’s general history. I never realized how much I listened to my history teachers until he started talking, and I could basically recite word for word his tour. It was odd, but also funny!

We toured John Hancock’s grave, Paul Revere’s grave, Samuel Adams’ grave, other graves you couldn’t see the names on due to their age, and the Boston Massacre victims’ grave. We were able to visit the school and church that Benjamin Franklin attended when he was a child. We saw where the Declaration of Independence was first read aloud, the site of the Boston Massacre, and some other lesser-known sites. I didn’t get to every historical site, but I am extremely grateful for what I did see. The cobblestone alleyways and brick pavements made me feel like I was back in the 1700s. With a few dirt roads still, I could imagine horses and carriages on the roads.

I didn’t spend much time in Boston because I was tired. I’ve walked more in the last 2.5 days than I have in the last month combined. My legs and upper body were sore, and I was just tired. I did find Boston easy to navigate, though.

I stopped by Chicken & Rice Guys for dinner. It was amazing! Similar to a gyro without the wrap, it was seasoned chicken thigh, seasoned rice, lettuce, two pita slices, and creamy garlic sauce. The seasoning of the food was, as Bostonians would say, wicked good and so fulfilling. There was so much food, I was unable to eat it all. I was thoroughly impressed! I did notice there were a ton of pizza places, delis, and seafood spots in both Boston and Salem. It makes sense, but I wanted something different.

Journey to Boston: Day 2 – Salem, MA

Today was the day I discovered the term “Massholes.” I’ve heard it through peers, but I always thought they were overexaggerating. They definitely were not.

I’ve never heard so many horns in my life, nor seen as many law-breaking citizens driving. I was absolutely stunned. I was used to the “weird” roads of roundabouts, sharp turns, etc. That never stunned me, having lived in upstate New York. The number of people who cut others off, showed respect by giving the middle finger, ran red lights, and more was mind-blowing.

It was fine, though. I just had to get back into the habit of driving in a busy northeast city. I mean….I drove in NYC once before…I figured this was a piece of cake. I will say driving in Austin is not the same as driving in Boston. After a few near-death experiences (okay, that may be an exaggeration), I was able to figure out driving again in the city and quickly adjusted to become my own version of a Masshole – or Texasshole. Either one is a proper fit for the drive.

I made it to Salem, once again. This time, I was on my History and Haunting tour with Witch City Walking Tours (the company that rescheduled me because of the late flight). I was in the same location as the night before, which worked out great!

We met at Old Town Hall for the walking tour. Seeing it in the daytime had a different vibe. This tour was even better! We saw the Witch House, Ropes Mansion (Hocus Pocus), Hamilton Hall, Bewitched Statue, Salem Witch Memorial (in daylight), Old Burying Point/Charter Street Cemetery, and a few lesser-known places.

I decided to take the rest of the day to explore some of the other places on my own, such as Salem Witch Museum. I wasn’t impressed with the Salem Witch Museum presentation, but the gift shop was amazing! The presentation provided by the SWM was insanely boring and bland. It was like listening to an old history teacher in a lecture-style class. Luckily, the gift shop saved it. It’s about the only thing that was good about it.

I also ended up visiting Proctor’s Ledge, where most of the “witch” hangings actually occurred. It was a beautiful memorial to those who lost their life innocently over hysteria. Little did I know, it was in someone’s backyard. I want to approach their door and ask whether any hauntings have occurred, but that would be intrusive and rude.

I saw the House of Seven Gables, which, as an English teacher, was amazing. I fell in love with its beauty, especially the courtyard. The ironic thing is: I’ve never read Nathaniel Hawthorne’s book. I just heard about it!

I was hoping to visit Pioneer Village, but they closed on the exact day I went. Fortunately, I was able to take some photos of it from outside. Maybe on my next visit, it’ll be open. I’m sure it’s moving as well. Along with that came an amazing view of the waterfront next to Pioneer Village.

Today was a moment for me. Despite the crazy world we live in, I discovered that not everyone is bad. I met some amazing people who had open conversations about their journeys to Salem. I had several experiences I could only dream of. It all finally came true. I learned of burning churches, the power of money (much like today), and how an insane belief in religion likely killed several.

I was sad knowing it was my last day in Salem, but I also knew I’d likely come back to explore more. On my travels, I learned much of the history that happened outside of actual Salem, MA. It gives me another reason to visit and see the stunning views.

Journey to Boston: Day 1 – Austin, TX to Boston, MA/Salem, MA

Like many kids, I despised history class. I never understood the importance of remembering dates, names, places, etc. Although one thing I give my history teachers credit for: they made me fall in love with the 1600-1700s, Roman/Greek history, and United Kingdom history. I was always drawn to the history of those areas more than to any other place or time in the world.

Part of me gets a sensation that I came from those areas in a past life. I know people have their own opinions about life after death, rebirth, and so on. I’m not exactly sure what to believe (does anyone, though?), but one thing I can say is I’m oddly connected to those time periods. I knew it was time to see what that connection was all about!

As someone with severe social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder, the thought of travel for “fun” terrified me. A single woman roaming the streets of unfamiliar places was just not ideal. Nowadays, you never know what you will experience. That’s a whole other blog topic, though!

However, I decided I will not let my anxiety hold me back anymore. “You only live once,” is the popular saying, right?. What regrets would I have if I never explored areas I felt some connection with? How would I feel sitting around for days on end, knowing I could have done something more with my life? I’m all about the experience, not materialistic things.

On the spur of the moment, I decided it was time. Salem, Boston, Plymouth…here I come!!

The first thing I did outside my comfort zone was take time off work on a Friday before the break! That is just unheard of, especially for me! But my thinking is: I needed this for me, my mental health, and if something happened, life would go on, with or without me. I even forced myself to not to check my emails in hopes of not receiving any news that would make the trip stressful or less enjoyable. I didn’t want this moment ruined.

Waking up at 3:30 am, I was so excited! I walked outside to see the temperature and such, so I knew what to prepare for, and I was blessed to see the Lunar Eclipse. Like any person, I snapped a million photos of the beauty that glared before me. This was my sign that the trip was meant for me. This rare Lunar Eclipse screamed out to me now more than ever.

I kept waking up the last few nights for the excitement of everything I had planned. Getting a whole night of sleep was rare and nearly impossible in the last week. I checked to make sure everything was packed up in the last minute before I left. Double-checking for medications, eye glass wipes, fog protectant wipes, enough clothes, all the overnight necessities, makeup, hair accessories, chargers, and everything else you could dream of taking on a trip for several days. I waited until I received the notification on my Life360 that my ride was here. I couldn’t contain my excitement.

We arrived at the airport, and my jaw dropped. I was utterly surprised to see the large number of people at the airport. If you didn’t know better, you’d think it was Christmas pre-COVID. People were shoulder to shoulder. You couldn’t tell where one line started and one line ended. It was horrendous. In all my years of traveling (since 2015), I’ve never seen anything like it. As a child, I would fly back and forth constantly to see my dad in upstate New York. That didn’t terrify me as much as the mass amount of people in there today. I thought there was absolutely no way I could make it to my gate on time.

Luckily, I was raised with a military father who believed the old saying, “If you’re early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, you’re late.” I, even though my friends make fun of me, am always early (this could also trigger my anxiety). Because I arrived early, I made it to my gate on time. I emphasize time because it was literally within minutes of my being able to board after arriving early. All the passengers board the plane, but then we’re told there are “maintenance issues” that won’t affect the flight. OH THE LIES AMERICAN AIRLINES! THE LIES!

After several delays, we were asked to deplane with all our belongings. The airline never kept us informed about what was going on or the status of the flight. It was incredibly frustrating.

We were two hours past our departure time. I was shocked, and my anxiety went into full force. My ride went home (1.5 hours away), I didn’t want to miss my planned activities for the night, and I didn’t want to lose out on my prepaid hotel, rental car, etc. They said the flight wasn’t “canceled,” but was “unknown in status.”

Yes…that’s the perfect thing to tell someone with GAD (general anxiety disorder). No… my feelings totally didn’t go haywire in a craze over what was so serious for us to be delayed again and again and again and again, and eventually deplaned to “fix the problem.”

Finally, four hours later, we boarded again and were finally on the way to Boston! Due to the stress of the morning and the lack of sleep for the last couple of days, I was exhausted. Luckily for me, the four-hour delay caused some people to change their flights. The seat next to me was open, and I had a window seat. I was able to take a few great naps! I didn’t care if I drooled, snored, twitched, talked in my sleep, etc. I was tired! It was going to happen one way or another! I woke up with snacks and drinks. I hadn’t eaten breakfast because of my excitement and GI (gastrointestinal) issues. I didn’t want to take the risk. I was starving by the time the snacks came. I’ve never been so thankful for a biscotti before in my life. It was like finding wholesome diamonds or emeralds, but the food version!

Not long after, we began descending for landing. I could feel my body and eyes light up. All the lakes, the colors of the trees from the skies, the open land, rolling hills, etc. I was so excited. In Texas, you don’t see that. The trees are either brown or green. The grass is either brown or green. Mountains? No way…maybe a hill or two, but nothing like the northeast. Trying to find a decent number of trees now in Texas (unless you’re in certain areas) is like a treasure hunt.

As we descended further, I could see Cape Cod. It was somewhere so many people dreamt about and talked about. It looked like it was straight off a movie or TV show. I knew I would save that trip for another time (peak whale watching season). I felt so honored to see such beauty. As we got closer and closer to land, my excitement and nerves skyrocketed! I was ready to jump off the plane and explore!

I knew I was going to miss my first tour because of the delay. However, I was determined to make my second tour, which started at 8:00 pm. But could I? It was almost 6:00 pm, and I still needed my rental car, my hotel, my tour tickets, and directions to the place in Salem, which was a good 40-50 minutes away with traffic, according to my lovely Google Maps.

Hello anxiety! Thankfully, the owner of the first tour company (Salem Walking Tours) rescheduled my ticket that I missed due to the delayed flight. Beth, at Salem Walking Tours, did an amazing job accommodating. She was so polite and understanding. I highly recommend them on so many fronts.

My second tour was with someone else (Salem Night Tours). I was hoping I wouldn’t have to reschedule again. My night would have been ruined. I had been looking forward to starting immediately.

The line for the rental vehicle was ridiculous. The lovely Alamo Rental Vehicles has a whopping total of two people working, with about forty people in line. I had two hours to make my tour, and my anxiety was telling me there was absolutely no way I was going to make it. I was feeling defeated and irritated. All their Kiosks were down as well, so I couldn’t even do the check-in process myself.

I finally made it to the counter with one hour to spare. I just kept praying they would hurry. Luckily, it didn’t take long since I had pre-scheduled the rental and pre-paid. I had to decide whether to go to the hotel or skip it in hopes that they don‘t give my room away. I was determined for this tour, though.

I skipped the hotel and went straight to Salem, MA. Oh, the nostalgic feeling of being back in the Northeast! As someone who lived in upstate New York for only six beautiful months, I just missed everything the Northeast offered: scenery, activities, people, weather, etc. Yes, I, a Texan, missed the cold, windy winter. Shocking! This is also coming from someone who wore a hoodie every day in Boston/Salem/Plymouth, with temperatures between 28 and 55 degrees, and who continued to sweat regardless of the temperature. Don’t ask! I’m definitely not made for Texas anymore!

My eyes lit up at the older buildings, the cobblestone streets, and the brick streets. I felt an odd connection to the place. It felt familiar, even though I’ve never been there in my life. I’m not sure whether it was my connection to upstate New York or something else that connected me to the situation and place. Either way, as I drove closer to the city center of Salem, MA, I felt this overwhelming sense of excitement.

I found somewhere to park, and I didn’t care how much it cost. It could have cost $50, and I still would have paid it, so long as I was able to explore Salem, MA, by night and by day. I parked and had to go in the trunk of the rental car to get my thick jacket. It was so incredibly cold with the breeze. It was the one and only time I wore my jacket on the entire trip. I often wonder why I even brought such a bulky thing. Needless to say, I was glad. I went from the 50s in Texas to the low 30s in Massachusetts. With 45 minutes to spare, I decided to shop at whatever stores were still open. Much like European countries I’ve been to, several shops were already closed for the night. I ended up in a souvenir shop with witchy items and a ton of Harry Potter Memorabilia. I returned to my car to unload all the items into the trunk.

I used Google Maps to get walking directions to my first tour of the trip. I found out it was also the gift shop, which worked out perfectly for me! I already met the people and knew where I was going.

The tour was fabulous! From the company Remember Salem, Sebastian was our tour guide. He was your traditional goth: long, black trench coat, black boots, black pants, black shirt, black hair, black lipstick, etc. His personality was amazing! I couldn’t ask for a better guide.

We hit all the well-known spots, such as the Old Town Hall (hello Hocus Pocus), the Salem Witch Memorial, Old Burying Point/Charter Street Cemetery, and a few unknown places. We also visited St. Peter’s Episcopal Church, the Pickman house, and so much more! I was hoping and praying for a spiritual interaction of some kind, but sadly, nothing happened. I was manifesting an apparition, a tug on my clothes, some voices next to me, etc., but nothing occurred. I know that sounds weird, but I was hopeful! I wanted to know it was real! I did, however, learn about the game Clue and its connection to Salem, MA!

The moon was fantastic! I knew this trip was exactly what I needed. Everything I saw was straight out of a movie.

After the tour, I went to the hotel with a late check-in. I knew I’d sleep great that night! I was filled with excitement about my upcoming adventures, but part of me was totally worn down from the stressful morning. I hadn’t eaten a real meal all day, so I knew I had to try to get something from the bar before they closed. Residence Inn at Boston/Logan Airport provided me with such amazing service my first night there, including the food options. With 20 minutes to spare before close, they were kind enough to still make the delicious flatbread.

I had such great scenery that night. I was ready to explore more, but I needed sleep. I couldn’t wait for my next adventure, so I set my alarm to make sure I made it to my other tour on time. 

The Gift of Failure – Ways to Encourage Failure

Most of us grow up not knowing what failure is. When we “fail,” we just keep going or keep trying. We don’t get berated for falling when we try to walk. We don’t get criticized when playing t-ball and miss the hit. Instead, we are taught to keep trying, keep working, and grow from our experience. At times, encouragement is also thrown our way to encourage us to do better.

Somehow, that changes, though, as we age. Somehow, encouragement turns into negative, non-productive criticism. Keep trying turns into giving up. Self-esteem gets tarnished and hurt. Perfection is expected, even though perfection doesn’t truly exist. A minimum standard becomes a measurement – whether it be weight, grades, time management, etc.

Somewhere along the way, we lose sight of what it truly means to fail and of the importance of failing.

Childhood Failures Encouraged

During childhood, it is considered a gift to fail. Even though it’s not necessarily called a gift, the idea of it being a gift is there. 

When babies first start speaking, they don’t say “mama” or “dada” on their first try. Instead, parents, friends, and other family members giggle, smile, and keep repeating the words in the hope of helping the baby say “mama” or “dada.” These same people don’t look at the baby with disgust and say, “You can do better. I’m disappointed in you.” 

Kids are notorious for lying – intentionally or not. Sometimes it’s a little white lie, while other times it’s quite large. As parents, we have a discussion with the child to encourage telling the truth and to explain why lying is wrong. After the discussion, there is hope for a change in behavior regarding lying. 

Children are encouraged to play, make friends, learn new games, and socialize. The more these things occur, the more growth happens. When children don’t play, don’t make friends, and don’t socialize, adults encourage it and sometimes seek assistance to make those areas grow. A concern is that those who do not play, make friends, learn new games, or socialize are at risk. 

So why do these expectations turn into negatives?

Adult Expectations

Somewhere around the end of elementary school and the beginning of middle school/junior high, society starts to place higher expectations on children. They must meet certain grades, respect others (especially adults), follow rules, stay quiet when spoken to, work with others, etc. 

It changes from encouragement to expectation. If those expectations are not met, we start discussions with children and let them know it’s no longer encouraged but is expected. When these expectations aren’t met, someone becomes disappointed. In turn, it hurts their self-esteem, leading to more issues with the very struggles they struggled with in the first place. 

Continue that through high school, where a required ACT/SAT score is needed to get into college, and many credits are required for graduation, placing pressure on an individual to achieve a specific score. The higher your score, the more likely you’ll get into a college of your choice – whether it be grades of ACT/SAT. Now, that encouragement becomes more pressure-based than genuine effort. College just intensifies this. 

Students begin to work jobs. There are expectations in jobs. In the beginning, new employees are often “guided” and given constructive criticism about their new job. However, that constructive criticism becomes toxic. It starts off slow with general criticism. Often, it turns into peers talking about one another, which in turn breaks the employee’s spirit. Even if this doesn’t occur in front of the person, the word eventually gets back around.

In all of these struggles, we forget the gift of failure.

Joys in Failure

What makes failure such a great concept? Why is failure so important? How do we encourage failure in a positive way?

Failure allows people to grow as individuals. It allows them to reflect on what happened, what went wrong, and how to prepare for the future again. Failure creates an atmosphere for continuous growth. Continuous growth is important for a person to ensure they become better. We can become better as a person, as an employee, as a friend, as a mother, as a father, as a sister, as a brother, etc. If we stay stagnant in who we are, we risk losing important people and things around us. 

Along with growth, failure allows us to handle criticism better – either from ourselves or others. Failure tells us that sometimes things happen, sometimes we mess up, and sometimes we need help, and that’s okay! Having that guidance allows us not to become broken in our self-esteem, but instead to say, “I overcame this,” no matter how big or how small. It breeds self-acceptance of what we can handle and what we can learn. A person who thinks they are always right has no room for growth and will never see the value in failure. 

Failure also allows us to find ways to never give up. When we fail once, we tend to try again. Failing multiple times, especially in adulthood, we tend to get discouraged. However, if we view failure as a lesson rather than an action, we can see where growth can occur.

Applying for a job but not getting it because of a bad interview is a learning experience. We can reflect on why it was bad. Was it the outfit? The noise? The choking during answers? We take time to reflect on the reasons to make changes for the future.

Not making the sports team can also reflect on a lesson. Did we not make the team because of our skills? Teamwork mentality? Conflict in scheduling? Take those lessons and make the necessary changes.

We don’t give up. We learn. We grow.

Change the Mentality of Failure

Failure is so important to the growth of people and society. Without failure, we won’t change, which causes many problems within ourselves and in society. Failure allows us to see the possibilities in what can be. Failure is incredibly important. 

As a society, we need to remember what it was like growing up and how failure was encouraged. We should take those tools we experienced as children and promote them into adulthood. It is okay to fail if we approach it in a way that encourages change. Instead of criticising someone negatively, we need to provide ways to encourage growth that can come from failure. 

Ways to encourage failure: 

  1. Constructive Criticism: Constructive criticism helps someone see where they went wrong and how to fix it without shattering their self-esteem.
  2. Explanation: Explanations help someone understand why, how, what, etc. This will give them clarity on why someone wasn’t happy about a specific issue.
  3. Radical Acceptance: Radical acceptance is just accepting something as it is. “It is what it is…” is the best way to describe radical acceptance. It cannot be changed. What is done is done, what is in the past is in the past. However, I would highly encourage pairing this with constructive criticism or explanation.
  4. Mentoring: Becoming a mentor is often underestimated, especially when it comes to failure. Mentoring should be encouraged to help others learn from someone who excels in the area where they are struggling. It could be one person assigned as a whole mentor or multiple people assigned for a variety of topics in need. Mentors are incredibly important to growth. 

Failure will always be a part of our lives. No one is perfect. Even those who think they are have room to grow. Failure is a part of change and growth. Failure can be overeating, forgetting a blinker at a turn, or not making the score you expected. All of these examples have room for growth if approached the right way.

Going Back to Our Roots – Polar Vortex Edition

The United States was recently hit by an Arctic Polar Vortex. Although this isn’t uncommon in northern states, it came as a shock in southern states. Places like Texas hit temperatures, snowfall, and ice records that haven’t been seen in decades or even centuries.

During this historic event, Texas had to implement rolling blackouts to preserve electricity. Some homes went over 12 hours without power. Others lost power for 40 minutes, but then it would turn back on for 15-20 minutes. This left many people without warmth or the ability to cook.

The temperatures were steady between 6° and 20°. Wind chills ranged from 17° to 0°. This was the second time in less than a month that Texas received record-breaking temperatures and snow. Going outside to build a snowman is fun, but maybe only for a few minutes before hypothermia becomes a concern.

Internet service providers were offline. Cell phone towers were overloaded, so data slowed down (or cut in and out). The roads had anywhere between 3 inches and over a foot of snow on the ground, with ice underneath.  Stores closed down or closed early. Food chains shut down for employee safety. County offices shut down for the week. Schools delayed learning face-to-face and virtual (due to power outages). All of this left families and individuals stuck inside with nothing to do.

Unable to go outside for long periods of time, unable to drive anywhere due to road conditions, unable to use power, unable to use the Internet, and having barely any data, when we live in such a technology-driven world, what can be done to prevent oneself from going stir crazy?

Emergency Kits

Hopefully, living in a place like Texas, notorious for severe weather, you’ve stocked up on a variety of candles or emergency lights. Texans are known to prepare for weather events, from hurricanes to tornadoes. Using these emergency kits is beneficial in times when there is no power. But how can they be used?

Reading

By setting up a candle or an emergency light, you can read either a new book or a favorite book. Even as a family, you could return to elementary and secondary school and take turns reading. This can create a bonding moment between members, increase comprehension, and can be fun for an individual or a family.

There are so many genres to read from. We all have our favorites, but maybe this outage provides an opportunity for you to explore new genres. As someone who didn’t enjoy any science fiction-related books, including dystopian, I always looked the other way when I was suggested any science fiction or dystopian books. Harry Potter and Hunger Games never interested me (I know, I know…I’m sorry). It wasn’t until a co-worker introduced me to a dystopian science fiction book, Red Queen, that I was able to truly explore the genre. I enjoyed the book so much that I continued the series. It was a rare moment when I truly enjoyed a genre I had always found unappealing.

I suggest the Genre 10 challenge. In Genre 10, you choose 10 genres of reading that you normally wouldn’t read and give them a shot. Some households already have all the genres, but they are usually dedicated to specific people. What genres can be suggested?

  • Young Adult
  • General Fiction
  • Realistic Fiction
  • Historical Fiction
  • Poetry
  • Romance
  • Dystopian
  • Science Fiction
  • Biography
  • Autobiography
  • Memoir
  • Self-Help
  • Business
  • Finances
  • Psychology

With so many options, even reading one new genre would be worth a try during a national Arctic Polar Vortex.

New Hobbies/Interests

Learning new hobbies or interests is something we don’t often think about, because we live in a country of go, go, go! We don’t give ourselves enough time to explore new tasks anymore. Using your emergency kit, you can spend some time learning something new.

Hair, Beauty, and Fashion

You can use this time and these resources (candles) to explore new styles. Using candlelight, explore makeup, hair, or fashion options.

With a candle lit in the bathroom, you can sit in front of the mirror and begin creating new looks for yourself. By using simple techniques and products (gel, hairspray, mouse, etc.), you can explore new hairstyles. We get so used to seeing ourselves in one way that we become comfortable not changing. Why not use the day(s) to explore a new look that has been considered for some time? Maybe instead of slicking the hair back, explore slicking it forward, to the left, to the right, parted down the middle, etc. Work with updos (man bun exploration). Try a half up-half down look. It may be worth a shot to even bring the mullet back (Miley Cyrus is trying to bring her dad’s signature look back in style).

Makeup is another area to be explored. I’m a pretty simple person when it comes to makeup: mascara and occasionally eyeliner. If you’re like me, or even do slightly more, maybe this is the time to explore full-on facial looks like those of famous makeup artists or influencers (James Charles, Jeffree Star, Jaclyn Hill, Anastasia, Bobbi Brown, Pat McGrath, etc.). Have you always wanted to learn a cut crease or contouring? Try it now! What do you have to lose? You’re in your house with nothing better to do than explore! Want to practice gradient eyeshadows or a smoky eye? Go for it! There could be no better moment than now to explore such interests. Proud of your look? Take some headshots of the new look using your phone or a battery camera (yes, they still exist).

We all have closets with at least one piece of clothing we’ve hung on to, but never worn. Whether the clothing is too big, too small, not in season, or we just haven’t gotten around to it, it’s time to put it to use.

We become comfortable wearing the same outfits, rotating them, and using the same color schemes (nothing like maroon and mustard yellow, purple and yellow, or pink and green). Why not branch out on a day when everything seems hopeless and create some new looks? Take the time to play with color schemes you normally wouldn’t consider. Mix and match outfits with different looks (grungy with preppy, business with casual, modern with vintage). Not an accessories person? Or have so many shoes that you’re not sure how to incorporate them into your fashion? Try them all! There is no better way than to experiment. You’re sure to find something that stands out and makes you excited about wearing it when the weather gets better! As a bonus, you could provide a fashion show for neighbors, friends, or family!

Workout

Bodyweight exercises can be done anywhere! Every year, as a new year’s resolution, so many Americans state they will “eat better and lose weight.” When you have no power, why not challenge yourself to start this new habit? It doesn’t hurt that it keeps you warm in the process. Not sure where to start? We all need a starting point.

Burpees are great for a full-body workout. It can be modified for the advanced or beginner workout. In a beginner range, you may just reach up, bend down to touch the ground, put one foot back at a time, and reverse to come up. As an advanced workout guru, you could squat down, jump up to reach the sky with those buff arms, jump down and kick out at the same time, do a pushup, jump back, and repeat. Any modification in between those two is also great.

Walking, running, side steps, or jumping jacks in place are always simple options. This will get your heart pumping and burning calories when there is nothing else to do. You could do it for hours or in intervals. Maybe walking for 20 minutes, rest for 10, and walk another 20 minutes. Again, this can be modified in any way, but it’s a way to stay busy.

Don’t have weights? Use items around the house. Milk or water jugs are great replacements for dumbbells. Laundry detergents, bleach, and fabric softener also work well. Need something small and light? Use water or soda bottles to lift repeatedly. Do you have a case of water or drinks you can use to lift? Do you have cat litter you can carry? What about a toddler to carry around the house? It’s not so much about the weight as it is about working the muscle. Use a wall for wall pushups or wall sits. Use a chair for dips or stability for leg workouts. Use the resources within the house to build those muscles and get the blood flowing.

Other General Hobbies

Do you love to write? Draw? Sing? Paint? Dance? Use this time to create beautiful masterpieces. You can keep them private, show them off, or send them out when the weather clears, and/or the internet is back on. Make a song, even if it’s just the lyrics. Create a musical chord on your guitar or piano. Create a routine to a song you love. Doodle away or draw a 3D piece. Even without a canvas or paint, we can use makeup, food color, food, or drinks to paint on paper, cardboard, etc. Learn how to hand-sew items or crochet in the dark. I have yarn and a crochet needle that have been sitting in my neglected spare room. Now is the time to dig it out and try it! Start a book (non-fiction or fiction). Do you have stage fright and need the opportunity to practice? Go to a neighbor, sing in front of family, and record yourself to post later. Are you a builder? Do you want to practice building with a variety of media (cardboard, paper, bottles, cards, etc.)? Try it! Practice your poker technique or chess technique for your next big match. Practice the gravitational pulls of spinning a basketball on your finger or balancing something on your head while walking. Are you a sports coach for a local community, or do you want to start getting involved in the community? Use this time to jot down plays, come up with ideas for government bills, municipal involvement/changes, volunteer opportunities, financial investments, etc.

Redecorate, Organize, or Clean

Even by candlelight, we can use this time to redecorate. Want to try a new look for your living room? Do it now while you have time. You don’t like how the bathroom counter looks? Move items around, organize them into boxes below the sink, or find new ways to avoid overcrowding the vanity. Want to rearrange the bedroom to improve movement? Try it now, even by candlelight. If you don’t like it, you can always move it back. Do you not like the dining table near the wall? Try to move it to the center of the kitchen and see if it flows better. If it doesn’t, move it back. Wipe the counters down, dust what you can see, and wipe the doors down. You may not be able to vacuum or mop, but this is an opportunity to do what you can. Now is the perfect time to try these new ideas. Pinterest is overloaded with ideas for people to try!

Try It Now

Being creative seems to be a lost art, especially as we get older. We spend so much time focused on our work and surviving that we lose sight of our passions and creativity. There has never been a better time than sitting in idleness to spark our creativity again and learn something amazing about ourselves. Prevent yourself from getting stir crazy and try something new while you can. There are so many options available to us that we often forget about because the world is now at our fingertips. Maybe going back to our roots isn’t such a bad idea. Don’t miss the opportunity to try these and look back years down the road and say, “I wish I had…”

Tap Tap Art Studio versus Painting with a Twist

Guided painting classes have become popular in recent years, thanks to companies developing art classes locally and nationally. Within the Killeen and Harker Heights area, there are two popular companies that offer such classes. How are they alike and different? Which one is the better choice? Let’s take a look at what each location has to offer.

Tap Tap Art Studio History

Tap Tap Art Studio is a local small business. It was developed to help promote the arts locally, outside of regular primary and secondary classes. The company initially operated from a bus. Eventually, its popularity grew, and they now have a physical location. Tap Tap Art Studio focuses on all aspects of art: from music, painting, pottery, and more.

Painting with a Twist History

Painting with a Twist is a national brand. The first location was opened in Louisiana after the devastating Hurricane Katrina ruined area. It grew over time and became one of the most recognized names in its category. The idea behind Painting with a Twist is to have fun while learning something amazing. Painting with a Twist focuses only on the painting aspect of the art.

Activities for Children

Both locations offer activities for children; however, Tap Tap Art Studio offers a wider range of activities. Tap Tap Art Studio offers camp and after-school activities, whereas Painting with a Twist only offers children’s painting classes. These child-friendly events are limited to specific days and times, but the paintings are appropriate for the advertised age range.

Parties are available at both locations.

Adult Activities

Both locations offer adult painting services, with the option to BYOB (Bring Your Own Beverage) and to bring snacks. The benefit of Painting with a Twist over Tap Tap Art Studio is the variety of classes offered to adults. Painting with a Twist offers more classes for adults and a wider range of painting options. Tap Tap Art Studio’s paintings for adults are often rare, limited, and offer few design choices.

Painting with a Twist offers a specialized Paint Your Pet session. In this session, you send in a photo of your animal. They draw out the outline of the painting. Each guest has a different picture. From there, they guide them on how to mix colors and such to make the animal appear realistic. This customizable painting can be especially important to those who may have recently lost an animal and want to cherish the memory of their fur babies. In this session, they provide more one-on-one guidance to ensure the painting is as realistic as possible. These sessions cost more because of the assistance and customization they offer. It’s well worth it for the animal lover!

Parties are available at both locations. However, Painting with a Twist allows fundraising activities for groups of any kind. A percentage of the cost goes back to the group. Usually, the paintings are related to the topic/group at hand.

Available Paintings

The paintings at both locations are easy yet challenging for non-artists of any age. Both locations offer a 16″ x 20″ canvas (sometimes the size varies depending on the painting) with a pre-drawn artwork. Both locations guide the user through the painting process (completing the background first, allowing it to dry, then moving on to the next layer, allowing that to dry, etc.). Both locations have a color palette for each painting, but they also allow customization.

Both locations offer assistance with paintings. If you are a struggling artist, such as myself, they come by often and guide you. Rarely do they step in and “fix” the painting, but it is possible. As someone with a heavy hand, I sometimes overdo the paint on a project. However, they will come by and show how to spread it out without messing up the painting’s look or concept.

One difference between companies is that Tap Tap Art Studio allows mixed-media paintings. A recent painting at Tap Tap Art Studio featured acrylic paint with pearls for their “Chucks and Pearls” piece. Painting with a Twist only offers acrylic painting; no other media are available. If they conducted the same session, no pearls would be added. Instead, it would have been just paint depicting the pearls on the shoes.

COVID Adjustments

Painting with a Twist has made the effort to adapt to the times with COVID. Painting with a Twist offers take-home paintings. Included in this are instructions on how to complete the piece. They have also provided online videos on how to complete these projects for visual learners. They have constant access to customer service for questions. Tap Tap Art Studio offered some take-home projects when COVID first hit the United States, but has since discontinued them.

Classes have been reasonable in terms of a cap limit on the number of people. Both locations have large rooms to space people out. Both locations have a maximum number of participants to reduce the risk of COVID exposure for guests. Both locations are adamant about cleaning their supplies, rooms, and door handles. Both locations offer sanitizer, masks, and other COVID-19 needs when entering the building.

Overall Feedback

Both locations offer amazing activities for children and adults. The biggest takeaway from this is a matter of preference.

If you enjoy learning and completing several art pieces, Painting with a Twist may be more up your alley, given the available options and times. If you’re more focused on activities outside painting, Tap Tap Art Studio would be a better fit for your interests.

Try both places and see which one fits your needs and wants. Support a small local business or support a small local franchise. Either way, support the local arts and economy while learning something new and having some fun!

Personal Paintings from Each

Tap Tap Art Studio

Below is my mixed media “Chucks and Pearls” from Tap Tap Art Studio.

Painting with a Twist

Below are completed paintings from Painting with a Twist

Admiring Austin Part 1

Austin, Texas, is known for its unique appeal. From the hippie vibe to the new Silicon Valley feel, Austin, Texas, offers a variety of activities for people of all ages! Austin is, no doubt, one of the best places in Texas to experience Southern Hospitality!

Due to COVID, some locations may be temporarily closed or limited. Please check their site prior to attempting to go to their spot.

Wonderspaces

Wonderspaces is a beautiful, interesting, and interactive space for those into modern art. With only four locations in the United States, it’s a place one would be lucky to see!

Due to COVID, we were unable to interact with some features. One display was being worked on and was not open to the public. Despite the setbacks, several other displays were open! They were kind enough to let us know they would be offering tickets via email once they open back up 100%, so we could fully experience the displays.

They had several stunning exhibits that were piquing my interest. The only thing I wish they added to each exhibit was a description for each piece. The Illegal Art exhibit was stunning, but I wanted to know more about it. You can find more information online, but it would have been handy to have this in person as well. It may be that they normally hold these in person, but due to coronavirus, they chose to make them digital.

Exhibits

Squidsoup is one of the creators of the Submergence exhibit in Austin, TX. This feature allows guests to watch a beautiful light show that moves to the music, creating a variety of shows.

Reed van Brunschot created the large Thank You Bags exhibit. The focus of this piece is the American belief in capitalism and the harmful effects of plastic waste bags on the environment.

Vier Nev created the A Mind Sang. This visual display has a seamless movement through the video. It includes some images that appear to be optical illusions.

Yasuhiro Chida’s exhibit initially appeared to be dancing fireflies. As we got closer, we thought it looked like spider webs. After further looking, we realized it was fishing line. The ability to take fishing line and create such a masterful piece is amazing!

This stunning piece made me want to enjoy the nights of Texas again!

Everyware created the Levitate piece. Unfortunately, we were unable to interact with this one due to the coronavirus. However, I hope we will soon be able to experience it to its full potential!

Unfortunately, we were unable to view this one in its entirety! I cannot wait to see how astounding this one is!

Memo Akten created Body Paint. This exhibit is interactive with human movements. The use of shadow and body creates beautiful art pieces. This is especially ideal for those who grew up in dance, gymnastics, or even generalized sports.

NONOTAK Studio presented one of the most intriguing exhibits, Hoshi, featuring mirrors, sound, and light. At times, the image of you walking may confuse you with the flashes and the multi-way mirrors. My only suggestion on this one is to not bring those who have epileptic episodes watch this!

John Edmark created Blooms. This one was particularly interesting. At times, it would appear as if the sculpture moved, and other times it didn’t. The use of strobe lights allows guests to spend more time at this exhibit, examining whether their eyes are betraying them!

Sweepers Clock was created by Maarten Baas. In this exhibit, they use trash to create time changes within a clock. It truly shows that beautiful art can be made from literal trash.

On a Human Scale was on exhibit, but inaccessible. I could tell this exhibit would be a beautiful creation from Matthew Matthew. I cannot wait to see this exhibit back open. I know it will be utterly astounding when the time comes to see this exhibit in full.

Illegal Art had The Last Word. The concept behind this exhibit is absolutely beautiful: unspoken words to form a beautiful display. I am curious if the creators ever plan to reveal what messages are tied to those pieces of paper.

Charlotte Stoudt, Laura Wexler, Angel Soto, Skybound, Ryot & Telexist’s exhibit of Dinner Party threw me for a loop, initially. When I walked into this exhibit, I felt like I was intruding on a dinner part (it definitely fits the name). I remember telling the person I was with, “I’m not sure if we should be in here.” After realizing it was one of the art pieces, I started to look deeper into the meaning behind it. Unfortunately, this is also a piece that we were able to experience 100%, due to COVID.

Michael Murphy’s exhibit of The Immigrant was unfortunately being maintained. Because of this, we were unable to see it in all its beauty.

Taquero Mucho (Pink Tacos of Austin)

If you love the idea of Tiffany Blue, you’ll love Taquero Mucho! Everything in this location is pink: from the outside decorations to the interior design, and even the plates, glasses, and check payment holder. This place bleeds pink!

The first thing I noticed, aside from the insane amount of pink throughout the building, was the incredibly small menu. Usually, small menus tend to have delicious food because they focus so much on flavor! I can attest that this theory is true! Their carnitas were amazing! The flavors burst with each bite. I’m not a bean fan, but their beans had an amazing flavor! Of course, all the food and drinks were pink as well!

They also have a few outdoor delights to enjoy, including an old telephone booth, outdoor seating, and an outdoor shop. I was so enthralled by the pink overload that I had to purchase a t-shirt in support of this amazing company started by such an amazing person!

Top Golf Austin

As someone who had never golfed before, coming here seemed a bit intimidating at first. I was worried professional golfers would appear and put me to shame. It’s not like mini golf, which has built-in supports (short distances, smaller clubs, etc.).

Luckily, that wasn’t my experience at all! Top Golf Austin had a good mix of professional and beginner golfers. There were families, couples, groups of friends, and more. With COVID restrictions, they limit how many people may be in a bay. They do their best to spread out customers as well to ensure safety! The staff is extremely friendly, including walking new timers through the process (like me).

There are several options for playing (from Beginner to Advanced, games to tournaments). I found the technology intriguing, which led to a discussion with employees about ball tracking, video sources, etc. I was expecting to leave more broke, but surprisingly, it was affordable. As a newcomer, I will definitely make another pit stop at this location to work on my golf game!

Ravishing Round Rock

Round Rock, Texas, is a beautiful city located in the Hill Country of Central Texas. As a lifelong Texan, I admire a town with history, class, and a modern touch. Round Rock, Texas, provides all of that and more.

Two of the more well-known places within Round Rock, Texas, include the Round Rock Premium Outlets and Round Rock Donuts.

Round Rock Premium Outlets

The Rock Rock Premium Outlets have been around for years. Just north of Austin, Texas, these outlets offer both shopping and dining.

At the Round Rock Premium Outlets, major retailers include affordable stores such as Skechers, Bath & Body Works, and GAP, as well as pricier brands such as Michael Kors, Ralph Lauren, and Calvin Klein. With a wide variety of choices, these outlets offer something for everyone.

These outlets have beautiful decorations: fountains, seating areas, covered areas for hot Texas days or rainy days, and decorations to fit the season(s) and holiday(s). All these touches on the location welcome guests to a beautiful, inviting, and comfortable atmosphere. With several benches along the way, it allows those who have difficulty walking long distances to rest, or to enjoy time with the family, chatting away.

Round Rock Premium Outlets often have great sales within their stores. At the VANS outlet (12/29/2020), they were running a buy-one-get-50%-off sale. Bath & Body Works has most of its merchandise on sale, which is not available in other retail locations or online. Victoria’s Secret ran sales similar to its Semi-Annual sale. Although we did not enter the Michael Kors store, we could tell a major sale was happening inside due to the massive line to enter!

Although shopping is the main focus of any outlet, the food options within the Round Rock Premium Outlets are even more divine!

Fast food options are one available choice for the Outlets. Church’s Chicken, Auntie Anne’s, and Starbucks are among the fast-food options at the Outlets. However, more mom-and-pop shops, small businesses, and less frequented places are within the immaculate, large food court. I personally prefer mom-and-pop and small-business options over fast-food options!

This view is from the East side of the Round Rock Premium Outlets. Due to COVID, it was a bit emptier than usual. These areas are usually packed with shoppers. Some of the stores were also not open due to COVID.

The largest tree within Round Rock Premium Outlets is located at the entrance. Not only does this tree create an inviting atmosphere, but it also adds a bit of joy to the location with its beautiful, welcoming, festive colors that celebrate the 2020 Christmas Spirit.

Round Rock Premium Outlets includes several decorations for the season(s) and holiday(s). These decorations are spread throughout the location to create a welcoming atmosphere for guests.

Round Rock Donuts

You cannot go to Round Rock, Texas, without stopping for Round Rock Donuts!

Round Rock Donuts was founded in 1926, and it has been a Texas favorite ever since! With the untraditional orange-tinted donuts, people who have never had them become intrigued. After trying Round Rock Donuts, people keep coming back, near and far, for more!

The World Famous donut maker has been featured in BuzzFeed, often mentioning the Texas-sized donut that Round Rock Donuts offers! Day Tripper featured several Round Rock locations and events, with one of the most important being Round Rock Donuts. Man v. Food also tried the famous Texas-sized donut!

My personal favorite from Round Rock Donuts includes the Chocolate Glazed Sprinkle donut and the regular kolaches. Their kolaches are made on the sweeter side, with less grease, to help prevent heartburn for those with sensitive stomachs, like me! The donuts and kolaches are easy to refrigerate and reheat for upcoming mornings. You can’t come here without buying the Texas-sized donut at least once!

Round Rock Donuts was featured on the Food Network. Although always popular, this sparked greater interest in the company from surrounding areas and visitors.

11 years ago was the first time I tried Round Rock Donuts. On my first trip, I had to get the Texas-sized donut. Impressed by its size, I took a picture for comparison with my head and hand. I look different now, but the donut stayed the same size!

Other Round Rock Adventures

Round Rock, Texas, offers several other exciting and beautiful places to visit. Located on the old Chisholm Trail, there is no doubt that you’ll find a bit of history, nature, and events surrounding this beautiful location! Modern meets memories of our past: it is a place that any Texan would be lucky to visit!

Goal Setting for 2021

There is no doubt that 2020 has been one of the most challenging years for most people. Between a worldwide pandemic, unemployment numbers skyrocketing, inequality issues and protests, statewide wildfires, governmental impeachment, shocking celebrity death (Kobe Bryant and Chadwick Boseman), and other devastating news, society at some point has hit a point in 2020 of sadness and/or stress. We all have hope that 2021 will bring much relief, hope, positivity, and change to our lives. 

Every year, around this time, we tend to make goals and New Year’s Resolutions. This year may be even more important than ever, given the events of 2020. 2020 has opened many of our eyes to what we deserve, need, and want in our lives. But how do we set a good goal that can be accomplished and not forgotten?

SMART Goals

Oftentimes, we make generalized goals. We focus on goals that anyone can reach at any time. When we reach those goals, we don’t feel satisfied. The opposite may happen as well. Our goal may be so generalized that we never reach it. Equally, we don’t receive satisfaction. Why is that? 

Goals should be SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time Measured ) in nature. 

Specific

Our goals need to be specific to our needs and wants. Without being specific, reaching those goals isn’t as fulfilling. Saying I want to lose weight means something different than saying I want to lose 20 pounds. The more specific the goals are, the more likely you are to strive to achieve success in that goal. 

Measurable

Going hand in hand with specific goals, your goals should be measurable. Having a measurable goal gives you a starting point and an ending point to measure progress. The measurable part of the goal may be intertwined with the specificity, but sometimes the measurement could be separate. 

Attainable

When speaking of measurable goals, they should be attainable. By setting a specific and measurable goal, you have a focus. That focus is pointless if the goal is unattainable. If you’re looking to lose weight, aiming for half a pound to two pounds a week may be realistic. That is an attainable goal. It is a goal you can reach! Choosing unattainable goals will make someone give up on themselves. Setting a goal to lose 40 pounds a month is not attainable for me. You have to know what you are capable of reaching with your motivation and your abilities.

Relevant

The goals should be relevant to you. A goal should be important to you. The more important a goal is to you, the more likely you are to reach that goal. I’m not going to set a goal to walk a mile a day when I already accomplish that daily. That goal will not be important to me, and I’ll get no satisfaction from reaching it.

Time Measured

It’s important to set a timeframe for achieving the goal. It should be specific and realistic. I know setting a goal to lose 30 pounds in two weeks is not realistic for me. If I set a goal to lose 30 pounds in six months, I know I can succeed. The time frame is incredibly important in measuring progress toward reaching your goals.

More importantly, declare the goal. Don’t state the goal as a want, but as a manifestation. 

Example Generalized Goals:

  • I will lose weight.
  • I will travel.
  • I will learn new skills.
  • I will learn yoga.
  • I will clean my house.
  • I will ride my bike.

Example Specific Goals: 

  • I will lose 20 pounds to improve my health within the first three months of 2021.
  • I will travel to Nashville, Tennessee, to explore career options between June 2021 and August 2021. 
  • I will take an Adobe Photoshop course to expand my career abilities by April 2021. 
  • I will learn and master 10 new yoga poses by December 2021. 
  • I will clean my house once a week according to the following schedule:
    • Sunday: Laundry, Dishes, Vacuum
    • Monday: Dusting, Dishes, Vacuum
    • Tuesday: Organizing, Dishes, Vacuum
    • Wednesday: Mirrors, Counters, Laundry, Dishes, Vacuum
    • Thursday: Walls, Baseboards, Dishes, Vacuum
    • Friday: Fridge, Oiling Cabinets, Dishes, Vacuum
    • Saturday: Bathroom, Dishes, Vacuum
  • I will ride my bike at least one mile a day around the neighborhood to improve my health by May 2021. 

Setting goals has always been important. Undoubtedly, 2021 will be one of the biggest growth years for everyone. Setting SMART Goals helps you achieve success, have something to look forward to, and something to celebrate when the goal is reached. 

Educational Technology in the Classroom

With COVID-19, virtual/remote learning has become a standard within education. Whether the student is 100% virtual or face-to-face with virtual elements, it is important to find new, engaging ways to capture students’ attention. There are several educational technology apps that benefit teachers and students. The students’ engagement levels will quickly rise with these sites or apps: 

  1. GimKit is a newer site where students are highly involved in a competition of wits. GimKit allows educators to ask students questions, and students earn “money” to use for special upgrades or power-ups against other students. However, wrong answers cost them money! GimKit was created by a student for students, which is what makes this site so successful. Students know best what they want and how they are engaged. Although this team and site are continuously growing, no one can deny that this site has an amazing start!
  1. Kahoot is another competitive site and app in which students compete for a place on the podium. The faster your answer is correct, the more points you receive. If you have an answer streak, you also gain additional points. If the student chooses the wrong answer, they neither gain nor lose points. This site and app allow students to answer questions about shapes or colors. One positive aspect of this site is the pre-made quizzes educators can choose from, or they can create their own. Kahoot has made many developments over the years, focusing on areas beyond education as well. 
  1. Nearpod is a popular site and app that educators enjoy. Nearpod offers a variety of activities for educators to use, including matching cards, virtual field trips, race games, interactive drawing, interactive response boards, interactive polls, and more. Over the years, Nearpod has developed its system to include additional features and engaging activities for educators to use in their classrooms. The great benefit of Nearpod is that the site or app can be teacher-led and controlled or student-led and controlled. Teacher-led presentations allow results to be seen in real time, whereas student-led presentations can be set for students to complete on their own time. 
  1. Flipgrid is a great tool for virtual and remote learning, especially for connecting a classroom locally or from a distance. Teachers present a prompt for students to answer, and students can record their responses. This is great for students who may be shy, used for practicing speeches, or presenting information in general. Another benefit of Flipgrid is that students can connect with people around the world, which is great for learning about cultures, education in other countries, and more. 
  1. Socrative is a great resource for quick quizzes and tests, exit tickets, and reflections. Educators can keep students engaged while limiting paper use. With options such as multiple-choice, short-answer, or true/false, students can race each other in a competition of wits. 
  1. Quizlet: a tool where students can create or use flashcards. This is great for implementing new vocabulary within the classroom. Educators may search for already created sets of vocabulary. Educators can have students compete in groups using the Quizlet Live feature. In this feature, students compete to be the first to get the correct answers. Other options include a game and a matching set for vocabulary terms. 

With so many tools available to educators, it can be overwhelming to know where to start or what to use. The best way to determine what works in the classroom is to try some of the sites and apps. Many of these sites and apps you can share with coworkers and collaborate together on the project.

How COVID Changed Education

COVID has completely changed the way the world operates. It has affected how we interact as people, how we learn, how we do jobs, how we celebrate big events (baby showers, birthdays, weddings), and more. The area most impacted by COVID has been education.

Setting

With the COVID-19 shutdown in March, the physical setting of school has changed in several ways.

Virtual or Building

Over the summer, teachers and administrators received detailed, intensive training on how to meet students’ needs during a global pandemic, both virtually and in person. This training was needed, regardless of a global pandemic. With the uptick in technological needs, the training teachers and administrators received was a lifelong necessity.

Since March 2020, students have been learning virtually. Initially, schools were thrown into the new process, and lessons weren’t well-developed. Teachers and students struggled with how lessons were presented in late Spring 2020. Students who were already behind in grade level fell even further behind, due to the lack of time teachers had to prepare for the national shutdown.

504 and Special Education

It appeared that students with 504 and SpEd needs were indirectly left behind. Although teachers tried to adapt to the needs of those with special circumstances, it was impossible to provide all the necessary tools with minimal training and preparation. Case managers of 504 and SpEd students did not know how to provide many accommodations. Some accommodations came naturally, such as: extra time, eliminating answer choices/shortened answer choices, and oral testing.

Parental Support

Parents and/or guardians weren’t sure how to provide for their students’ educational needs. It may seem easy to hover over a student to ensure they complete work, but completing work and learning are two different concepts. USA Today provided a great insight into how students and parents/guardians are struggling to meet their students’ special education needs.

Choices and Growth

This year, campuses received an option to start virtually or in person. Daily Voice talks about how this could be the new normal, which I agree with. Some states allowed their districts to delay the start, while other districts chose to go against their states’ wishes and risk losing funding. Many campuses chose to offer a combination of in-person and virtual options. This presented new challenges (how to account for true attendance, when work is due, lessons delivered virtually and in person, what to do with students who do not complete work, how to handle special circumstances, password lockouts, eLearning platforms crashing, etc.).

Even though this was a more successful start than in March 2020, and most teachers were better prepared to handle the curriculum, some still struggle with the new methods expected of them. Older generations of teachers struggled with uploading materials, making videos, using eLearning platforms, and the like. Districts tried to hire a fresh round of employees (teachers, technologists, coaches, etc.) to support these struggling learners and replace teachers who left due to COVID.

Workload

One of the challenges of the global COVID-19 pandemic is the increased workload for teachers, administrators, coaches, technologists, and case managers.

Before and Now

Teachers were already facing an uphill battle with documentation for state and federal guidelines, but now they are facing additional documentation due to the choice to be virtual or in-person. Refinery 29 offers valuable insight into what teachers faced at the beginning and middle of the pandemic, directly from teachers. Teachers were already required to provide lesson plans, substitute plans, emergency substitute plans, teacher input for 504 and SpEd students, tracking of accommodations, parent or guardian contact, tracking of work submissions and/or failures, and attendance.

In addition to all of this, teachers around the world are now required to meet additional documentation requirements for the campus and/or district to receive funding. A student going to the nurse now requires documentation that had never been an issue before due to COVID. A student who is not submitting work online requires more documentation than an email or a phone call home. Teachers are now tracking how much a student has completed virtually, providing in-person and virtual tutoring, logging Zoom or Google Meet meetings for in-person and virtual classes, teaching simultaneously in-person and on Zoom, and maintaining discipline in in-person and virtual classes.

Technology Experts

Teachers have also become the first point of contact for technology issues, with the expectation that they know how to resolve them. Teachers have faced password lockouts, password resets, Microsoft 365 or G Suite not loading in eLearning platforms, Zoom or Google Meet not connecting, work not submitting to eLearning platforms, work not opening on these platforms, these platforms crashing, and much more.

Physical Layout of Building

Although campus structures did not change, the way campuses handle the physical layout of classrooms, lunchrooms, hallways, bathrooms, and more has changed. The CDC issued new guidelines for campuses that limit decision-making for teachers and administrators.

Distancing

Classrooms across the United States went from an average of 25-30 students per core classroom (math, science, history, and English language arts) to about 10-20 students per classroom. To meet the needs of the global pandemic, desks were rearranged and spread out throughout the classroom. Although teachers and students may not be able to maintain a six-foot distance, teachers tried to aim for a minimum of three to five feet by placing desks farther apart. However, classrooms just aren’t large enough to maintain social distancing requirements. Mashable shows some pictures of what teachers are facing currently.

An example of an attempt to social distance is from a local campus:

Masks

So how do teachers get around this? Districts made it mandatory that students and teachers wear some sort of face covering (shield, mask, or a combination of both – anything except bandanas). In doing so, teachers are still trying to space desks about 3-4 feet apart. This isn’t ideal for a classroom for a variety of reasons, mainly because it changes how teachers plan their lessons. However, everyone’s safety is the number one priority. If that means we have less collaboration and engagement in face-to-face learning to be safe, then that is what the campus must do.

Fountains

Water fountains were covered and/or disconnected on some campuses to prevent the spread of COVID-19. Some water fountains were replaced with water bottle refill stations. Another option campuses have offered is leaving the water fountains uncovered, but only for refilling water bottles. That places a lot of trust in students and requires a lot of adult supervision to ensure they are used properly.

Procedures

As mentioned previously, facial coverings are now required for adults and students in the building. Although they have options as to their facial covering, this still presents many issues.

What happens if a student comes unprepared with a mask? How many chances do they get in order to self-correct? How many free masks will students receive before disciplinary action is taken? Will disciplinary actions occur? What is considered a truly appropriate mask in terms of coverage and design? Too many questions and not enough answers!

Cleaning Routines

Teachers, bus drivers, and custodians are all working overtime to ensure their environments are sterilized. Bus drivers are required to sanitize the bus after every drop-off. This includes seating, railings, or any other area a student may touch. Custodians are wiping stair railings, door handles, and benches (even though students are not supposed to sit on them, they are cleaning to ensure they are safe), fogging rooms and bathroom stalls, and more.

Although several of these cleanings have always been done (such as bathroom stalls), the sanitizing process takes much longer, sometimes requiring bathrooms to be shut down temporarily. Teachers are using medical-grade disinfectant to wipe desks, chairs, keyboards, books, dictionaries, and much more in between classes. Mind you, teachers are supposed to be in the hallway between passing periods. Teachers also have to worry about students with allergies to any cleaner. The disinfectant needs to sit for at least three minutes. Passing periods for most middle school campuses range from three to five minutes. It makes it difficult for a teacher to be at two places at once, while ensuring safety both with COVID and allergies.

Supplies

Teachers are no longer allowed to “borrow out” supplies. Students cannot lend supplies to other students. If a student comes unprepared, teachers constantly give them supplies to keep. This doesn’t seem like a big deal. However, if a student needs a pen/pencil every 180 days, that will add up to an average of 150 students per middle school teacher and 200 per high school teacher. These are endless battles faced in a typical school year, but teachers typically have procedures in place to retrieve their items. Given that most supplies come from teachers’ income, these new procedures can be frustrating, but they are necessary to keep everyone safe.

Nurses/Clinic Assistance

Nurses’ routines have also been affected by COVID. In the past, the nurse would welcome any student to their office with minor issues (headaches, bandages, feminine products, etc.). However, with COVID, the procedure for sending a student to the nurse’s office has changed drastically.

Unless a student has a medical condition (diabetes, allergies requiring EPI pens, seizures, a G-tube, etc.) or COVID-19 symptoms, students’ medical needs should be assessed in the classroom. Teachers were equipped with the necessary tools to handle many medical issues within the classroom.

Nurses used to be able to check the vital signs of teachers and administrators. Yet again, COVID has changed this. Teachers and administrators are no longer allowed into nurses’ offices. If you are concerned about having your vitals taken, nurses have offered to come to the teachers’ classrooms. This shouldn’t be because of a curious moment; it should be because they feel something is bothering them (heart racing, dizziness, etc.).

Breakfast & Lunch

Breakfast and lunch used to be times when students could socialize and release their energy for the day. Now, students are expected to skip seats and minimize their movement and socialization. Imagine seeing your best friend daily, but not allowed to sit by them or talk to them because a pandemic is limiting you.

Impact on Educational Setting

Although some may see the pandemic as a benefit, with fewer face-to-face classes, there are several drawbacks. Because of the pandemic, students are no longer allowed to work in small groups, collaboration groups, or similar settings. This is harming students’ education. Collaboration is the essence of all future jobs for students. More importantly, collaboration helps students understand the material by discussing it with peers.

There are millions of people impacted by COVID-19, but the biggest group facing change right now is those in education: teachers, students, paraprofessionals, and administrators. School districts have lost teachers at an alarming rate, and it won’t slow down as long as the coronavirus is around.

Virtual Learning – A Gift or a Curse?

With the lovey visitation of COVID-19 (coronavirus), our world has been turned upside down. Some of the United States have been affected by this since late-January. Other parts of the United States didn’t feel the repercussions until around March. Although many states have shut down, most states reopened around late May/early June.

Impact on the Educational Industry

One of the biggest impacted areas has been education. Around March, nationwide schools shut down to prevent the spread of COVID. Given so many unknowns, even to this day, it was the safest thing to do. Districts nationwide readjusted or extended their Spring Break to figure out how the rest of the year would be handled. Many districts took the situation week-by-week.

The Start to Virtual Learning Outside of College

One of the go-to options was digital/virtual learning. Even so, many districts were ill-prepared for the last-minute changes. Many families didn’t have Internet access, technology, time, the ability, or much else to handle virtual learning. Internet providers stepped up and provided discounted or free service for a short time to help students learn. Some districts provided technology to students, but quickly ran out. Parents/guardians were temporarily on hold with their lives, but lacked the teaching credentials to properly help their child. When they returned to work, they weren’t around to ensure students completed their work.

When summer hit, many schools canceled summer school. However, with school starting again – now what!?

The Return to School 2020-2021

Summer Training

Teachers around the world, especially in the United States, have spent their summer preparing for the return to school in various ways. Much of their professional development was focused on virtual incorporation and/or whole-hearted online learning. Teachers discovered tools like Flipgrid to connect students from around the world, Nearpod to help students complete teacher-led or student-led lessons, PlayPosit to help students stay engaged with YouTube videos, and many other online learning tools.

In addition to virtual teaching strategies, tools, and techniques, teachers also had professional development on their normal blood-borne pathogens, suicide awareness, mental health, FERPA, and more. This year was even more affected by the additional COVID-19 training campuses had to complete (signs, symptoms, cleaning procedures, how to handle, how to social distance in a classroom, etc.).

Questions

In addition to their regular and virtual training, teachers also had to figure out much of their future for themselves. What masks work? Would they wear a mask all day (yes, we found out)? How do you social distance 25-35 kids in a classroom the size of a standard American kitchen? What happens if someone gets COVID-19 in the building? Where do they find sanitizer that doesn’t smell like tequila? Where do they find wipes for their desks, handles, and other surfaces? How do they handle small group instruction? How do they lend out books for students to read? How do they lend out supplies for those who can’t afford it (CDC states no communal supplies, so that solved that concern)?

Teachers were left with a million questions and received a lot of “we’re not sure.” With so much uncertainty, many teachers opted to leave the profession or retire, leaving an already short-staffed profession even more understaffed.

What’s the News?

School districts around the world are still unsure about the status of COVID-19. There is a lot of debate on whether students can or cannot transfer it to adults, each other, etc. As a result, many school districts gave parents/guardians the option of online or virtual learning. Some districts delayed school; some still have plans in the air; and some are deciding to open. The one trend I keep seeing, though, is that virtual learning is here to stay regardless of COVID-19.

Many people are not happy about this trend. They have many of the same concerns as in March-June (lack of technology, slow or no Internet, no time at home, and more). However, I think a lot of society is missing the good in the situation.

The Good in Virtual Learning

With life in the digital world, there is no doubt that the upcoming generation needs to be more technologically prepared than ever before. We aren’t talking about Facebook, TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, or Snapchat integration, but about true digital needs such as Microsoft Office, G Suite, digital design, writing, and much more.

Many students in a classroom throughout high school have no idea how to format a paper properly, on their own, to write a college-level entrance essay. That’s a problem! Students can take this opportunity to learn so many beneficial aspects of virtual learning.

Repetition

When teachers record lessons in their classroom or at home, students can rewatch them as many times as needed. A student who may be 504, Dyslexic, Special Education, Emotionally Disturbed, or have other (dis)abilities can rewatch it several times for clarification. Students may be able to pause and take notes instead of trying to focus in class while writing. Even if the teacher provided notes online, students could underline, highlight, or take additional notes during the virtual lesson.

Scheduling

If they’re unable to watch the lesson from 10:00 am to 11:00 am, when class is, they can find the recording later in the day and still be held responsible for the content presented during the lesson. This is a great planning tool for entrepreneurs, college preparation, job scheduling, and more. Maybe the student is a night owl and works better in the afternoon than in the morning. This will give those students an opportunity to focus better. This is also great if they have a parent who works from home and needs to use the computer/Internet during the day for business. The student can spend the afternoon completing their work.

Responsibility, Team Work & Work Ethic

One of the biggest benefits is teaching students responsibility, teamwork, and a work ethic. Through online learning, even in elementary school, students develop a sense of responsibility. They are responsible for completing their work and turning it in. Just like an in-person classroom, they are responsible for completing and turning in their work. However, this puts more pressure on a student because they don’t have someone reminding them constantly throughout the day to complete and turn in their work.

This is also a great way for students to learn true teamwork. With programs like Microsoft Office and G Suite, students can collaborate with each other remotely. Depending on how the teachers set up the assignment, students will be able to work virtually with one another. With many careers requiring collaboration within their network, it is important to instill this, whether in person or virtually. So many tools are available for students to collaborate on documents or videos!

It is so incredibly easy to cheat with virtual learning. However, there is a lot of risk, as it becomes easier to copy and paste a handwritten response. Virtual learning puts a bit of pressure on students to ensure they’re not plagiarizing, sharing answers, or Googling them. It’s acceptable to use Google as a research tool, or in our case a way to look information up we may not know, but it’s not okay to use it as a copy and paste skill.

College Prep

America is one of the countries that may have all the greatness, but we severely lack in college preparation – whether it be academics, life skills, social interactions, or financial responsibility. We need to do a better job of preparing these students for college, and virtual learning is no exception.

Many colleges use virtual learning in some aspect of their students’ education. Even in-person lessons have a virtual component so students can submit work (papers, presentations, designs, analyses, financial literacy breakdowns, etc.). By introducing some of these minimal modalities (such as papers and presentations), students will be prepared not only to format them but also to write and submit them. Although the college may use a different eLearning platform, they will still be able to get an idea of where to submit and/or learn faster on the new platform.

Although that may seem minor in terms of benefits for virtual learning, it is extremely impactful when discussing the preparation of students for post-secondary learning. Our nation has become one in which having a Bachelor’s degree is no longer sufficient for education. The competition for employment is astronomical! When given the tools in advance, students can better focus on classes that are more relevant to real-life experience and internships.