Depression

Indifference

Angel BoucherLeave a comment

I’ll never leave you.
You’re unlike anyone else.

I’ll wait forever for you.
I’m coming back.
Never leaving your side.
This is as special as you.
Be in my life forever.

I bought it for you,
I’d never live up to what you deserve.
I’ve never been enough for anyone, even you.

You deserve all the great things.
The biggest heart I’ve ever met.
I’d give it all for you.
Unlike anyone else.

————————–

This isn’t goodbye.
This is see you later.

I can’t do this.
Everything you know is here.
I can’t do this.
I’m sorry.

There are things you don’t understand.
You don’t want to move.

I’m not worthy.
It’s not my choice.
You don’t understand.

————————–

The silence to the noise.
The lies to the truth.
The stillness in the chaos.

My Gravity

Angel BoucherLeave a comment

From the first embrace,
I felt calm like a flowing creek.
The conversations ran deeper
Than the deepest unexplored oceans.
A connection that pulled me in
Stronger than the Earth’s gravity.
The first touch of your hand
Felt like an electrical shock
That ran deep in my soul.
The first smile that radiated
Like the sun in the summer.
A kiss so magnetic
It pulled together polar opposites.
Lost in ecstasy so high
I lost myself in another realm.

Reconnecting felt like floating.
In a calming river surrounded by nature.
Security is stronger than the purest diamond.
The first twirl and dance together
Was freeing and full of pure elation.
The breeze blew through my hair.
As you wrapped your arms around me.
We strolled through the streets
like time didn’t exist.
The stare from your eyes is so intense
Feeling like a cracked dam ready to burst.
I yearned for you and you for me
Like the tide of the ocean for the moon.
Watching you smile and play
Like a newborn learning happiness.
You pulled me close
And my head falls back in joy.
The instant connection
Like stars in a constellation.
Watching you was like
Watching a warrior winning ground:
Strength, determination,
Pride, and fearless.

You pull me in
Fitting like a piece of a puzzle:
The perfect fit, completing each other.
Pulsing euphoria with your embrace.
Taking risks greater than
Climbing Mt. Everest,
But I felt safe…
Safer than I ever felt in my life,
Even more than a baby in a womb.
Staring intensely into your eyes
Watching the stories build inside.
Your hands wrap around me
Engulfing me like the ocean and land.
I craved you like the need for oxygen
And you me like a body needs a heart.
Nothing ever felt so perfect and so right.


I lost myself completely without trying.
My mind is traveling to worlds
Of pure divinity.
I fall into you, losing myself
Like a glove with no hand.
And lie on your chest
Listening to your calming heartbeat
Making music like famous composers.
Feeling your chest rise and fall
Like shadows with the sunrise and sunset.
Your arm wrapped around me like the most secure blanket.
Your lips on my forehead as soft
As snow settles on the ground:
Calming, quiet, and soft, building a new life.
Waking up, feeling you care for me
Like the sun caring for natural life.
Aching the separation that’s to come
Like fault lines breaking the land.
Wishing time could still,
like water turning to ice,
Just to keep this moment.

The yearn and need deeper than
A desert needing rain.
I beg that life will bring you back
Like the phases of the moon:
returning with a steady pace.

You changed me
Like a compass next to iron.
And I’ll never be the same
Like ash becoming part of soil.

And I’ll disappear at your request
But long for you like an unlocked
Door in an abandoned building.
And I’ll keep trying to pull away
Failing because you’re my gravity.

She Was Rare

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Like a red diamond on display,
admired from a distance.
Waiting for the day to break away,
but keep getting met with resistance.

My heart smoothed with Vantablack,
looking empty, but filled with just.
Waiting for it to be swept back,
but constantly filled with cosmic dust.

A total eclipse happening once,
hiding behind the facade.
Hiding behind all fronts,
despite being attractive like a lightning rod.

Ancient Roman concrete,
where stories lie.
Never admitting to defeat,
building strength, and intensifying.

Silence of the mind,
an impossible task.
Coming undone, unconfined,
finally showing what’s under the mask.

Hardly touched, like lunar rocks,
spoken of but rarely experienced.
Can’t contain like Pandora’s Box,
once experienced like an euphoriant.

Her love was like a natural pearl,
wild, free, but hardly produced.
But she cried for it to be unfurled,
but it becomes rarer as it is reduced.

An amber with no imperfections,
hard to find, but so divine.
Never receiving reciprocal affections,
but often seen on others’ shrine.

A single snowflake drifting in,
unlike any other you’ll ever find.
Feeling the regret deep within,
all because he was blind.

The Mona Lisa, appreciated too late,
was a force that imprinted deep.
One that you cannot recreate,
but you’ll dream about her in your sleep.

A fingerprint on the heart,
no one will compare to her.
You’ll regret the day of depart,
she was the rarest thing to occur.

I’m Fine (But Not Okay)

Angel BoucherLeave a comment

Verse 1
The morning air feels like winter now,
Another day of numb feeling.
A smile appears when I allow
All it does is keep concealing.

People say I’m strong,
But they don’t see what I hide.
I’ve been breaking all along,
Still, I push these feelings aside.

Chorus
I’m fine, but not okay,
It’s a facade I portray.
I’ll make it, I always do,
No matter how much it breaks me in two.
I’m fine, which is what I’ll say,
But inside I fade away.
I’ll keep playing in this game show,
Because surviving’s all I know.

Verse 2
The mirror shows a ghost,
Eyes really tell the truth.
But deep down, the truth haunts,
Fighting my internal thoughts.

Hope’s a flame slowly withering away,
But still burning in some way.
Every night I take a deep breath,
As I wait for my sudden death.

Chorus
I’m fine, but not okay,
It’s a facade I portray.
I’ll make it, I always do,
No matter how much it breaks me in two.
I’m fine, which is what I’ll say,
But inside, I fade away.
I’ll keep playing in this game show,
Because surviving’s all I know.

Bridge
And maybe someday I’ll feel light,
When the thoughts don’t make me want to fight.
But till, I’ll play pretend,
Smile through storms that never end.

Chorus
I’m fine, but not okay,
It’s a facade I portray.
I’ll make it, I always do,
No matter how much it breaks me in two.
I’m fine, which is what I’ll say,
But inside, I fade away.
I’ll keep playing in this game show,
Because surviving’s all I know.

Outro
I’m fine…
But not okay.