introspective poem

I’m Fine (But Not Okay)

Angel BoucherLeave a comment

Verse 1
The morning air feels like winter now,
Another day of numb feeling.
A smile appears when I allow
All it does is keep concealing.

People say I’m strong,
But they don’t see what I hide.
I’ve been breaking all along,
Still, I push these feelings aside.

Chorus
I’m fine, but not okay,
It’s a facade I portray.
I’ll make it, I always do,
No matter how much it breaks me in two.
I’m fine, which is what I’ll say,
But inside I fade away.
I’ll keep playing in this game show,
Because surviving’s all I know.

Verse 2
The mirror shows a ghost,
Eyes really tell the truth.
But deep down, the truth haunts,
Fighting my internal thoughts.

Hope’s a flame slowly withering away,
But still burning in some way.
Every night I take a deep breath,
As I wait for my sudden death.

Chorus
I’m fine, but not okay,
It’s a facade I portray.
I’ll make it, I always do,
No matter how much it breaks me in two.
I’m fine, which is what I’ll say,
But inside, I fade away.
I’ll keep playing in this game show,
Because surviving’s all I know.

Bridge
And maybe someday I’ll feel light,
When the thoughts don’t make me want to fight.
But till, I’ll play pretend,
Smile through storms that never end.

Chorus
I’m fine, but not okay,
It’s a facade I portray.
I’ll make it, I always do,
No matter how much it breaks me in two.
I’m fine, which is what I’ll say,
But inside, I fade away.
I’ll keep playing in this game show,
Because surviving’s all I know.

Outro
I’m fine…
But not okay.

Never Enough

Angel BoucherLeave a comment

I unstitched my soul, thread by thread,
Unveiled the bruises where my heart had bled.
You watched, and listened, as I stressed
That I’ve never been enough, even at my best.


I placed my truth in your open heart,
A fragile thing we never meant to start.
You showed empathy and held me close,
And let you see my darkest shadows.
My words hung heavy, raw and bare,
“I’m broken,” I strongly declared.

You turned away, unmoved, no regard
While I stood bleeding and scarred.
Now echoes haunt the hollow space
Where once I begged for your embrace.
I gave you all, my breath, my trust
But love was never for me to entrust.

So go, walk on, and leave me here,
Among the ghosts of what was sincere.
I bared it all, my ruin, my pain,
And you walked away, leaving me in chains.

11/29/2025

Our Purpose

Angel BoucherLeave a comment

Sometimes life is a lantern,
meant to guide those in need.
When some feel abandoned,
we come to intercede.

Our purpose won’t scream,
and make itself known.
It comes to us through quiet dreams,
and we’ll admire it like a precious stone.

We aren’t prisoners to one calling,
as there are so many constellations.
When we find it, it can be enthralling,
and it’ll impact future generations.

Every shadow, even flawed, has purpose,
but it may not make sense in the moment.
Not living life is a disservice;
we all reach atonement.

Every bad thing that happens is a message,
and every good thing is a reward.
We’ll always get out of the wreckage,
because we’ll always be restored.

We’re all bound to reflect on life,
like, “Why are we here?”
Purpose carved in glory and strife,
and walking through joy and fear.

11/20/2025

Haunting Memories

Angel BoucherLeave a comment

She was rare, and I lost it
Crossing my mind all the time
True love gone, my heart’s accosted
Replaying our moments like a crime

I found what I was missing in her,
But threw it away for familiar
A love and world I longed for
My heart aches and is bitter

I check on her time and again
Wondering if there’s still a chance
Caught with the echoes, I can’t abstain
Trapped in memory, hoping for one more dance

Inside jokes haunt every corner
Laughing like kids, young again
Now I’ve become a silent mourner
Longing for memories that transcend

I miss her smell and the way she tastes
The moments with her, I still embrace
I miss the laugh and smile on her face
A feeling no one will ever replace

The way she used to hold me close
Her eyes stared into my soul
Chemistry and love, I miss the most
Piercing deep, lingering, dark, and whole

She understood me like no one else
Two people bound to meet as one
Touched my soul, I hid from myself
A story written that can’t be undone

I miss her more than words can say
Haunted by the wrong choice
My heart yearns and feels betrayed
Regrets shadow follows, paying the price

Watching her breathe as she sleeps
Calming my once rabid beast
Dreams untouched, my heart leaps
Held my chaos with peace

The way her body reacts to mine
Craving for her soft skin
Every touch feels divine
The touch pulls me to sin

Walking the streets hand in hand
Pulling her close, letting silence speak
Side by side in a moment, we don’t understand
Moments like this are all I seek

Baring my soul for her to judge
Waiting for her to run away
As she accepted me for who I was
Lost in regret, words can’t convey

From the first conversation, I fell in love
She was so different than anyone before
Feeling so deep, I only dreamt of
Her presence changed my inner core

She had everything I searched for
A free spirit, even though hurt deep
The missing piece I adore
A love so fierce, I long to keep

Every goodbye was harder
But the last ripped me apart
The pain of bye leaves me scarred
The choice I made now tears my heart

11/18/2025

Revert Time

Angel BoucherLeave a comment

There’s a chill in the air,
as if your eyes trace my outline.
You’ve stepped into my snare,
and now we’re intertwined.
Just make the move you long for,
and I’ll be yours forevermore.

This happened by chance,
and it took me by surprise.
An unforgettable romance,
no one else has been able to provide.
And I can’t seem to let it go,
your memory haunts me in the undertow.

You found pieces of me I kept hidden,
but you opened them with ease.
In places where pain had ridden,
you touched my heart and brought me peace.
With you, I could be myself,
all the parts guarded, you knew well.

A side of me I forgot existed
happiness and laughter that’s been missing.
A spark, awakened, no longer resisted
a warmth returning and glistening.
I’m a fool for you,
and I’d do anything you asked me to.

It was a connection like no other,
like discovering my long-lost friend.
Souls that recognized each other,
an unexpected beginning I didn’t intend.
But it all crashed down,
silence echoing where love once drowned.

When did it all go wrong?
Was it all in my head?
Was the answering whispering all along?
Was it hope held by a fragile thread?
Just another name to add to the list,
Once was bliss, now a ghost in the mist.

Do I suffocate myself or let it go?
I don’t want to try anymore.
Do I vanish or watch myself grow?
I thought I found something worth fighting for.
This was an unexpected attack,
a hit that has a lasting impact.

And now I’m here in silence, alone.
The sun never rises, always midnight.
Quiet memories we used to call our own,
my heart swallowed by the void of light.
An emptiness that lingers within,
finding love, I’ll never win.

I know the way you watch
tells me everything you won’t say aloud.
Burns in your heart and mine like a torch
a longing whisper of words you won’t allow.
If fate allowed, I ache for those moments
their echoes remain, stubborn and torments.

It’s a battle I fight every day,
wishing to wipe my mind clean before you came.
Storms are brewing inside and won’t go away,
thoughts undone, every thought aflame.
Despite the pain, I wouldn’t revert time;
every memory was sublime and made my soul climb.

11/17/2025

Remembering How to Breathe

Angel BoucherLeave a comment

(Verse 1)
Morning light through blinds, coffee between our palms,
You speak in quiet confidence that settles calm.
Old stories folded in my pocket, pages burned,
Then you arrive and make my heart yearn.

(Pre-Chorus)
We move through rooms creating memories of a lifetime,
Simple yet the most perfect paradigm.

(Chorus)
You make me feel young and free again,
Like remembering how to breathe, on you I depend.
This love rewrites the definition of love that I thought I knew
You’re the one who makes me feel anew.

(Verse 2)
Evenings filled with honest talk, the kind that runs deep,
We have a love that others think is so mystique.
No fairy tales, but a rare find
Who knew love that feels so sublime?

(Pre-Chorus)
We trade our guarded edges for softness and trust,
Two people shaped by separate storms, now robust.

(Chorus)
You make me feel young and free again,
Like remembering how to breathe, on you I depend.
This love rewrites the definition of love that I thought it knew
You’re the one who makes me feel anew.

(Bridge)
There’s bravery in showing scars and faith in taking risks,
The quiet courage of being known and lost in the abyss.
Once a nightly prayer, an answered call
You are the one who can heal it all.

(Chorus)
You make me feel young and free again,
Like remembering how to breathe, on you I depend.
This love rewrites the definition of love that I thought it knew
You’re the one who makes me feel anew.

11/14/2025

Confined

Angel BoucherLeave a comment

(Verse 1)
I learned the shape of silence in the spaces left by everyone
Found the fingerprints of lies scarred deep and overdone.
Mirrors whisper secrets that I can’t unhear,
Every promise folded up and sold insincere.

I kept a jar of broken light, hoping for repair,
Watched it crumble and threadbare.

(Chorus)
Don’t ask me to believe, my unravelled soul
Not even my own heartbeat speaks to the open keyhole.
I don’t trust the hands that hold me, or my own mind,
There’s poison in the echo, and it’s serpentined.

(Verse 2)
Names like cemetery stones, I step around them, dreary
Familiar faces hollowed out, and I’m left teary.
I learned to count the casualties, soft words turned to knives,
Smiles that harvest daylight to leave me deprived.

(Pre-Chorus)
I taught my doubts to dress like angels, calling me home,
Now I answer to the hollow and I still roam.

(Chorus)
Don’t ask me to believe, my unravelled soul
Not even my own heartbeat speaks to the open keyhole.
I don’t trust the hands that hold me, or my own mind,
There’s poison in the echo, and it’s serpentined.

(Bridge)
If I could be forgiven by my own mind,
I’d kneel before the silence and beg not to be confined.
But the hiding can’t be seen,
I’m begging for someone to intervene.
Betrayed by light and love,
I can’t help but look above.
Betrayed by every confidant who taught me how to fight.
It was always my fault, looking back in hindsight.

(Chorus)
Don’t ask me to believe, my unravelled soul
Not even my own heartbeat speaks to the open keyhole.
I don’t trust the hands that hold me, or my own mind,
There’s poison in the echo, and it’s serpentined.

(Outro)
So leave your footprints on my memory and walk away,
I’ll hide the map to prevent our doomsday
If there’s comfort in a lie, I’ll continue to find it,
Because my heart will always be a hypocrite.

11/13/2025