A memory came to me.
Unwelcome.
Intrusive.
Tormenting.
Spectral.
Haunting me.
The smell.
The touch.
The smile.
The laughs.
Your voice.
The ghost of every memory
Of us…
Of you…
drowning me.
It was only a second,
But grief doesn’t need more than that.
My chest constricted
Before my mind could process.
My stomach coiled.
Tears arrived
Pounding on the doors
before I could stop them.
My mind
Fractured.
Sundered.
Decimated.
Marred.
I miss who I was
when you were there.
Jubilant.
Euphoric.
Peaceful.
Authentic.
Embraced.
Nutured.
Ignited.
Me.
I found myself again
Because of you.
And lost it just as quickly.
Broken.
Lost.
Alone.
Closed off.
It’s enigmatic how someone
can become a vestige,
Yet still have the command and dominance
to dissolve you into nothing in seconds.
I guess that’s what happens
When you love someone enough
to make a sanctuary for them
inside your heart
For refuge
And a haven.
Even after they’ve vanished,
some part of you
still yearns
for them to come back.
I haven’t discarded you.
And maybe that’s the problem.
I hoped distance and time would
Smooth the sharp edges.
Sunrises would wash the darkness
The drought would dry out the floods.
Some people never become ordinary memories.
I never had someone that
I treasured so much
Celebrated with pride
Admired for strength
Adored in silence
Was moved by like faults on earth
And craved like a bad habit
They remain living echoes,
Chasing the whispers of the wind
waiting in forgotten corners,
Like shadows through the day
capable of collapsing years into a single heartbeat
With one reminder
I miss who I was when you were there.
There are versions of myself that only existed beside you:
Laughs that belonged in history books
Security stronger than a diamond
Trust deeper than unexplored oceans
Honesty as stripped as winter trees
Conversations of life so deep
Like the first deep breath of summer
You called to the parts of me that
We’re still asleep
I didn’t know existed
I forgot about
And it, and all dreams, perished
When you slipped away
Sometimes I wonder
If you know how often you still
haunt me
without meaning to.
How a random thought can
unravel an entire afternoon.
Make me
binge
And purge.
Break
And rebuild
Scream
And cry
Smile
And crumble.
Healing doesn’t exist for
This amputation
Today, it found me.
A little more cut off.
Another piece of me is gone.
I was back there
where your voice still echoed,
where your presence felt permanent
I didn’t yet know how deeply I would one day miss you
As I watch the world spin
While I stand still in
One spot
Then the memory drifted beyond reach.
The pillow drank
Every tear.
The silence returned.
But the ache lingered.
Love doesn’t always leave
when the person does.
It was still incipient,
Yet it was the most paramount
most poignant
and most transparent
Unvarnished
Unguarded
love I’d ever known.
Maybe my heart loved
With more conviction than yours did.
Maybe I was delusional.
Perhaps your heart perceived
It’s different from mine.
And remembered a varied story
Maybe it was on a diverged path.
But it changed me all the same.
Love outlives goodbye.
heartbreak poem
Never Enough
I unstitched my soul, thread by thread,
Unveiled the bruises where my heart had bled.
You watched, and listened, as I stressed
That I’ve never been enough, even at my best.
I placed my truth in your open heart,
A fragile thing we never meant to start.
You showed empathy and held me close,
And let you see my darkest shadows.
My words hung heavy, raw and bare,
“I’m broken,” I strongly declared.
You turned away, unmoved, no regard
While I stood bleeding and scarred.
Now echoes haunt the hollow space
Where once I begged for your embrace.
I gave you all, my breath, my trust
But love was never for me to entrust.
So go, walk on, and leave me here,
Among the ghosts of what was sincere.
I bared it all, my ruin, my pain,
And you walked away, leaving me in chains.
11/29/2025
Revert Time
There’s a chill in the air,
as if your eyes trace my outline.
You’ve stepped into my snare,
and now we’re intertwined.
Just make the move you long for,
and I’ll be yours forevermore.
This happened by chance,
and it took me by surprise.
An unforgettable romance,
no one else has been able to provide.
And I can’t seem to let it go,
your memory haunts me in the undertow.
You found pieces of me I kept hidden,
but you opened them with ease.
In places where pain had ridden,
you touched my heart and brought me peace.
With you, I could be myself,
all the parts guarded, you knew well.
A side of me I forgot existed
happiness and laughter that’s been missing.
A spark, awakened, no longer resisted
a warmth returning and glistening.
I’m a fool for you,
and I’d do anything you asked me to.
It was a connection like no other,
like discovering my long-lost friend.
Souls that recognized each other,
an unexpected beginning I didn’t intend.
But it all crashed down,
silence echoing where love once drowned.
When did it all go wrong?
Was it all in my head?
Was the answering whispering all along?
Was it hope held by a fragile thread?
Just another name to add to the list,
Once was bliss, now a ghost in the mist.
Do I suffocate myself or let it go?
I don’t want to try anymore.
Do I vanish or watch myself grow?
I thought I found something worth fighting for.
This was an unexpected attack,
a hit that has a lasting impact.
And now I’m here in silence, alone.
The sun never rises, always midnight.
Quiet memories we used to call our own,
my heart swallowed by the void of light.
An emptiness that lingers within,
finding love, I’ll never win.
I know the way you watch
tells me everything you won’t say aloud.
Burns in your heart and mine like a torch
a longing whisper of words you won’t allow.
If fate allowed, I ache for those moments
their echoes remain, stubborn and torments.
It’s a battle I fight every day,
wishing to wipe my mind clean before you came.
Storms are brewing inside and won’t go away,
thoughts undone, every thought aflame.
Despite the pain, I wouldn’t revert time;
every memory was sublime and made my soul climb.
11/17/2025