Like a red diamond on display,
admired from a distance.
Waiting for the day to break away,
but keep getting met with resistance.
My heart smoothed with vantablack,
looking empty, but filled with just.
Waiting for it to be swept back,
but constantly filled with cosmic dust.
A total eclipse happening once,
hiding behind the facade.
Hiding behind all fronts,
despite being attractive like a lighting rod.
Ancient Rome concrete,
where stories lie.
Never admitting to defeat,
building strength, and intensify.
Silence of the mind,
an impossible task.
Coming undone, unconfined,
finally showing what’s under the mask.
Hardly touched, like lunar rocks,
spoken of but rarely experienced.
Can’t contain like Pandora’s Box,
once experienced like an euphoriant.
Her love was like a natural pearl,
wild, free, but hardly produced.
But she cried for it to be unfurled,
but becomes more rare as reduced.
An amber with no imperfections,
hard to find, but so divine.
Never receiving reciprocal affections,
but kater seen on others’ shrine.
A single snowflake drifting in,
unlike any other you’ll ever find.
Feeling the regret deep within,
all because he was blind.
The Mona Lisa, appreciated too late,
she was a force that imprinted deep.
One that you cannot recreate,
but you’ll dream about her in your sleep.
A fingerprint on the heart,
no one will compare to her.
You’ll regret the day of depart,
she was the the rarest thing to occur.
Author: Angel Boucher
I’m Fine (But Not Okay)
Verse 1
The morning air feels like winter now,
Another day of numb feeling.
A smile appears when I allow
All it does is keep concealing.
People say I’m strong,
But they don’t see what I hide.
I’ve been breaking all along,
Still, I push these feelings aside.
Chorus
I’m fine, but not okay,
It’s a facade I portray.
I’ll make it, I always do,
No matter how much it breaks me in two.
I’m fine, which is what I’ll say,
But inside I fade away.
I’ll keep playing in this game show,
Because surviving’s all I know.
Verse 2
The mirror shows a ghost,
Eyes really tell the truth.
But deep down, the truth haunts,
Fighting my internal thoughts.
Hope’s a flame slowly withering away,
But still burning in some way.
Every night I take a deep breath,
As I wait for my sudden death.
Chorus
I’m fine, but not okay,
It’s a facade I portray.
I’ll make it, I always do,
No matter how much it breaks me in two.
I’m fine, which is what I’ll say,
But inside, I fade away.
I’ll keep playing in this game show,
Because surviving’s all I know.
Bridge
And maybe someday I’ll feel light,
When the thoughts don’t make me want to fight.
But till, I’ll play pretend,
Smile through storms that never end.
Chorus
I’m fine, but not okay,
It’s a facade I portray.
I’ll make it, I always do,
No matter how much it breaks me in two.
I’m fine, which is what I’ll say,
But inside, I fade away.
I’ll keep playing in this game show,
Because surviving’s all I know.
Outro
I’m fine…
But not okay.
Never Enough
I unstitched my soul, thread by thread,
Unveiled the bruises where my heart had bled.
You watched, and listened, as I stressed
That I’ve never been enough, even at my best.
I placed my truth in your open heart,
A fragile thing we never meant to start.
You showed empathy and held me close,
And let you see my darkest shadows.
My words hung heavy, raw and bare,
“I’m broken,” I strongly declared.
You turned away, unmoved, no regard
While I stood bleeding and scarred.
Now echoes haunt the hollow space
Where once I begged for your embrace.
I gave you all, my breath, my trust
But love was never for me to entrust.
So go, walk on, and leave me here,
Among the ghosts of what was sincere.
I bared it all, my ruin, my pain,
And you walked away, leaving me in chains.
11/29/2025
Our Purpose
Sometimes life is a lantern,
meant to guide those in need.
When some feel abandoned,
we come to intercede.
Our purpose won’t scream,
and make itself known.
It comes to us through quiet dreams,
and we’ll admire it like a precious stone.
We aren’t prisoners to one calling,
as there are so many constellations.
When we find it, it can be enthralling,
and it’ll impact future generations.
Every shadow, even flawed, has purpose,
but it may not make sense in the moment.
Not living life is a disservice;
we all reach atonement.
Every bad thing that happens is a message,
and every good thing is a reward.
We’ll always get out of the wreckage,
because we’ll always be restored.
We’re all bound to reflect on life,
like, “Why are we here?”
Purpose carved in glory and strife,
and walking through joy and fear.
11/20/2025
Broken to Brilliant
You broke what you held,
yet I grew golden from the damage.
Now you drown in the bye you compelled,
but now I have the advantage.
Thiving came to me private,
showing me I can be self-reliant.
No longer am I compliant.
I’m more myself and vibrant.
My laughter fills the sky with every hue,
because of all the hurt I outgrew.
Life has felt more anew,
despite everything I’ve been through.
I’ll sing and dance in the rain,
and I won’t hold any disdain.
And this is how I shall remain.
This is all I’ve ever wanted to attain.
The light in me that faded is now radiant.
Others say I’ve never been so vibrant.
Finally feeling like I’m in alignment.
I’m out of my own confinement.
11/19/2025
Haunting Memories
She was rare, and I lost it
Crossing my mind all the time
True love gone, my heart’s accosted
Replaying our moments like a crime
I found what I was missing in her,
But threw it away for familiar
A love and world I longed for
My heart aches and is bitter
I check on her time and again
Wondering if there’s still a chance
Caught with the echoes, I can’t abstain
Trapped in memory, hoping for one more dance
Inside jokes haunt every corner
Laughing like kids, young again
Now I’ve become a silent mourner
Longing for memories that transcend
I miss her smell and the way she tastes
The moments with her, I still embrace
I miss the laugh and smile on her face
A feeling no one will ever replace
The way she used to hold me close
Her eyes stared into my soul
Chemistry and love, I miss the most
Piercing deep, lingering, dark, and whole
She understood me like no one else
Two people bound to meet as one
Touched my soul, I hid from myself
A story written that can’t be undone
I miss her more than words can say
Haunted by the wrong choice
My heart yearns and feels betrayed
Regrets shadow follows, paying the price
Watching her breathe as she sleeps
Calming my once rabid beast
Dreams untouched, my heart leaps
Held my chaos with peace
The way her body reacts to mine
Craving for her soft skin
Every touch feels divine
The touch pulls me to sin
Walking the streets hand in hand
Pulling her close, letting silence speak
Side by side in a moment, we don’t understand
Moments like this are all I seek
Baring my soul for her to judge
Waiting for her to run away
As she accepted me for who I was
Lost in regret, words can’t convey
From the first conversation, I fell in love
She was so different than anyone before
Feeling so deep, I only dreamt of
Her presence changed my inner core
She had everything I searched for
A free spirit, even though hurt deep
The missing piece I adore
A love so fierce, I long to keep
Every goodbye was harder
But the last ripped me apart
The pain of bye leaves me scarred
The choice I made now tears my heart
11/18/2025
Revert Time
There’s a chill in the air,
as if your eyes trace my outline.
You’ve stepped into my snare,
and now we’re intertwined.
Just make the move you long for,
and I’ll be yours forevermore.
This happened by chance,
and it took me by surprise.
An unforgettable romance,
no one else has been able to provide.
And I can’t seem to let it go,
your memory haunts me in the undertow.
You found pieces of me I kept hidden,
but you opened them with ease.
In places where pain had ridden,
you touched my heart and brought me peace.
With you, I could be myself,
all the parts guarded, you knew well.
A side of me I forgot existed
happiness and laughter that’s been missing.
A spark, awakened, no longer resisted
a warmth returning and glistening.
I’m a fool for you,
and I’d do anything you asked me to.
It was a connection like no other,
like discovering my long-lost friend.
Souls that recognized each other,
an unexpected beginning I didn’t intend.
But it all crashed down,
silence echoing where love once drowned.
When did it all go wrong?
Was it all in my head?
Was the answering whispering all along?
Was it hope held by a fragile thread?
Just another name to add to the list,
Once was bliss, now a ghost in the mist.
Do I suffocate myself or let it go?
I don’t want to try anymore.
Do I vanish or watch myself grow?
I thought I found something worth fighting for.
This was an unexpected attack,
a hit that has a lasting impact.
And now I’m here in silence, alone.
The sun never rises, always midnight.
Quiet memories we used to call our own,
my heart swallowed by the void of light.
An emptiness that lingers within,
finding love, I’ll never win.
I know the way you watch
tells me everything you won’t say aloud.
Burns in your heart and mine like a torch
a longing whisper of words you won’t allow.
If fate allowed, I ache for those moments
their echoes remain, stubborn and torments.
It’s a battle I fight every day,
wishing to wipe my mind clean before you came.
Storms are brewing inside and won’t go away,
thoughts undone, every thought aflame.
Despite the pain, I wouldn’t revert time;
every memory was sublime and made my soul climb.
11/17/2025
Breathless
I love you
the kind that builds a hunger.
A way that makes me subdue,
the kind that makes me call upon a slumber.
I’m not in love,
but you awaken something in me
Without you, I’m destitute of
the feeling of being sultry.
A darkness that comes to light
comes out when you step closer.
Feeling like I need to requite,
but you make my insides take over.
With you, I’m unafraid,
discovering a new side.
Others I always forbade,
with you, my body just replied.
My body burns like a wildfire.
taking over ever engulfing.
Needing you feels dire
because it’s so indulging.
I know this is nothing but bad news,
and I know it’ll end in disaster.
And yet, my body and mind can’t refuse.
but you make my heart feel vaster.
For you, I’d become reckless
innocence and pride left in ruin.
I can’t help that you leave me breathless,
you’ve made me feel like I need persecution.
I crave the chemistry
the way it coils through me.
You make me act contemptuously,
making my insides scream like a banshee.
The only secret my body understands,
the stare into my eyes, arm around my waist.
Can’t help but listen to your commands,
forever you’ll be encased.
Say my name a certain way,
and suddenly I come undone.
My mind goes into disarray,
what have you begun?
Because loving you like this,
in sparks, shadows, and where propriety breaks,
I can’t help but often reminisce.
It’s the only way my mind and body escapes.
I’m willing to fall a little lower
and lose myself for the feeling I love.
Losing my mind and all my composure,
we fit together like a perfect glove.
Loving it and you like a bad addiction,
because with you, I’ve lost all sanity.
I can’t help but need this prescription,
because you keep pulling me in like gravity.
I don’t know if what I feel is real,
but I know you’re my necessity.
I guess time will slowly reveal,
but you give me a sense of familiarity.
I see it in the way you breathe;
you feel this, too.
Your decision is making you seethe;
body answers me before your words ever do.
You’re dangerous because it’s more than physical,
words wrapping around me like warm hands.
There’s a pull into the metaphysical;
you’re the only one who understands.
Your words and voice lure me in like a spell,
and I’m not sure what to feel or believe.
Powerless beneath the pull you compel,
this is something we conceived.
There’s a pull in you that mirrors the one in me,
and your silence betrays you.
Your soul still reaches for me,
inked into you like a tattoo.
The ache in you is building tension,
claim it like you claimed me.
Let me be your redemption,
because together we are a dangerous army.
The world can watch in envy;
we have something they’ll never possess.
Only we can experience this intensity,
a thrill that leaves others breathless.
11/16/2025
Louder Than the Doubt
Louder Than the Doubt
(Verse 1)
They wrote me off like damaged goods
Said I would go to orphanhood
Closed the doors and ignored my pleas
Treated me like a rare disease
(Pre-Chorus)
Every person who turned their back on me
Silently screaming a dark decree
(Chorus)
I am louder than the doubt, louder than the fear,
I turned the echoes of their whispers my own souvenir.
Through the dark and the light, I will still fight
I rose and I became, thanking them in hindsight
(Verse 2)
Every mocking tease and joke,
Love that tested limits, hearts broke.
Stitched my edges even stronger
Built a wall to stop the slaughter
(Pre-Chorus)
The lightning and thunder couldn’t stop me
Here I am, finally living carefree
(Chorus)
I am louder than the doubt, louder than the fear,
I turned the echoes of their whispers my own souvenir.
Through the dark and the light, I will still fight
I rose and I became, thanking them in hindsight
(Bridge)
I celebrated mornings I never thought I’d make,
Now I’m feeling I can finally be awake.
Now I look forward to every single sabotage
I no longer have to hide in my camouflage
All I ever needed was to believe in me
Every scar has led me to this great legacy
(Chorus)
I am louder than the doubt, louder than the fear,
I turned the echoes of their whispers my own souvenir.
Through the dark and the light, I will still fight
I rose and I became, thanking them in hindsight
Remembering How to Breathe
(Verse 1)
Morning light through blinds, coffee between our palms,
You speak in quiet confidence that settles calm.
Old stories folded in my pocket, pages burned,
Then you arrive and make my heart yearn.
(Pre-Chorus)
We move through rooms creating memories of a lifetime,
Simple yet the most perfect paradigm.
(Chorus)
You make me feel young and free again,
Like remembering how to breathe, on you I depend.
This love rewrites the definition of love that I thought I knew
You’re the one who makes me feel anew.
(Verse 2)
Evenings filled with honest talk, the kind that runs deep,
We have a love that others think is so mystique.
No fairy tales, but a rare find
Who knew love that feels so sublime?
(Pre-Chorus)
We trade our guarded edges for softness and trust,
Two people shaped by separate storms, now robust.
(Chorus)
You make me feel young and free again,
Like remembering how to breathe, on you I depend.
This love rewrites the definition of love that I thought it knew
You’re the one who makes me feel anew.
(Bridge)
There’s bravery in showing scars and faith in taking risks,
The quiet courage of being known and lost in the abyss.
Once a nightly prayer, an answered call
You are the one who can heal it all.
(Chorus)
You make me feel young and free again,
Like remembering how to breathe, on you I depend.
This love rewrites the definition of love that I thought it knew
You’re the one who makes me feel anew.
11/14/2025
Confined
(Verse 1)
I learned the shape of silence in the spaces left by everyone
Found the fingerprints of lies scarred deep and overdone.
Mirrors whisper secrets that I can’t unhear,
Every promise folded up and sold insincere.
I kept a jar of broken light, hoping for repair,
Watched it crumble and threadbare.
(Chorus)
Don’t ask me to believe, my unravelled soul
Not even my own heartbeat speaks to the open keyhole.
I don’t trust the hands that hold me, or my own mind,
There’s poison in the echo, and it’s serpentined.
(Verse 2)
Names like cemetery stones, I step around them, dreary
Familiar faces hollowed out, and I’m left teary.
I learned to count the casualties, soft words turned to knives,
Smiles that harvest daylight to leave me deprived.
(Pre-Chorus)
I taught my doubts to dress like angels, calling me home,
Now I answer to the hollow and I still roam.
(Chorus)
Don’t ask me to believe, my unravelled soul
Not even my own heartbeat speaks to the open keyhole.
I don’t trust the hands that hold me, or my own mind,
There’s poison in the echo, and it’s serpentined.
(Bridge)
If I could be forgiven by my own mind,
I’d kneel before the silence and beg not to be confined.
But the hiding can’t be seen,
I’m begging for someone to intervene.
Betrayed by light and love,
I can’t help but look above.
Betrayed by every confidant who taught me how to fight.
It was always my fault, looking back in hindsight.
(Chorus)
Don’t ask me to believe, my unravelled soul
Not even my own heartbeat speaks to the open keyhole.
I don’t trust the hands that hold me, or my own mind,
There’s poison in the echo, and it’s serpentined.
(Outro)
So leave your footprints on my memory and walk away,
I’ll hide the map to prevent our doomsday
If there’s comfort in a lie, I’ll continue to find it,
Because my heart will always be a hypocrite.
11/13/2025
Learned to Thrive
(Verse 1)
I wore the nights like winter coats, stitched with borrowed memories
Walked sidewalks made of echoes, carrying yesterday’s flames.
Rain learned all the secrets I tried to hide beneath my armor
But every puddle let out a silent screaming murmur.
(Pre-Chorus)
There’s a map beneath my scars, a compass carved in skin,
But these torn memories will never take over and win.
(Chorus)
I am a garden after storms, roots that learned to thrive
A lighthouse helping others survive.
What broke me taught me lessons, what bled me gave me life,
I bloom in places wrecked by storms, I lived through the strife.
(Verse 2)
There were mirrors made of paper, torn and scattered on the ground,
I taped them together and showed I can rebound.
Ash turned into chalk to write the lessons for my path,
And every line became a road that led me through the wrath.
(Pre-Chorus)
I learned to count the quiet, to trade my fear for hope,
I’m no longer walking on the long tightrope.
(Chorus)
I am a garden after storms, roots that learned to thrive
A lighthouse helping others survive.
What broke me taught me lessons, what bled me gave me life,
I bloom in places wrecked by storms, I lived through the strife.
(Bridge)
When the world insists on hate and loss,
Forgiveness is a river that flows in thoughts.
Hope is not a fragile vase but reality,
Life is anything but a tragedy.
Every bruise is just a poem folded in the pain,
And every step I take is louder and I remain.
(Chorus)
I am a garden after storms, roots that learned to thrive
A lighthouse helping others survive.
What broke me taught me lessons, what bled me gave me life,
I bloom in places wrecked by storms, I lived through the strife.
(Outro)
So let the clocks keep counting all the hours,
I’ve learned to dance in the showers.
When night returns, I’ll be the North Star,
and this’ll be another story in my memoir.
11/12/2025
Leasing Love On A Whim
(Verse 1)
You let me go like it was nothing at all,
Missed out on the long haul.
Crashing down like a tsunami wave,
But I rebuilt my world on better days.
Now you’re scrolling through the faded frame,
Wondering who is the flame
You traded depth for something that is broken
Now you feel the echo of words never spoken.
(Pre-Chorus)
You took something that was familiar
Just remember, second place is silver.
I’m steady where you found me fragile and free
Guess absence taught you what you couldn’t see.
(Chorus)
You gave me up and now you miss us
All because you were treasonous
I’m careful now, not leasing love on a whim.
I’m moved on, holding love only within
All you said was just empty words
I’m still the one you prefer
Now you dream of me late at night
While I’m living it up in the pale moonlight
(Verse 2)
You chase the easy thrill, but at what cost?
Upon your heart I have embossed.
You’re calling through the noise,
I’ll maintain my poise
I held my ground, you had the best
Now your heart is feeling suppressed
You send a message dressed in second thoughts,
Thinking gestures can stitch what time forgot.
(Bridge)
Regret’s a slow and honest kind of ache,
It shows up late and asks for one more break.
What are the chances of it happening again?
I think about it every now and then.
(Chorus)
You gave me up and now you miss us
All because you were treasonous
I’m careful now, not leasing love on a whim.
I’m moved on, holding love only within
All you said was just empty words
I’m still the one you prefer
Now you dream of me late at night
While I’m living it up in the pale moonlight
(Outro)
So come with better words than longing and luck
Don’t come around when you’re moonstruck.
I’m not a rescue or a safety net to mend the cracks
I want it all—not something that lacks.
Maginot Line
(Verse 1)
I built my walls to protect my homeland
Stone by stone, so no one reached the command
Too close to the fault lines that were stressed
Where love once lived, but is now oppressed
Every promise turned to smoke,
Now we’re wearing the mourning cloak
So I drew my borders deep and intensified
A fortress where my ghosts reside.
(Pre-Chorus)
I’ve sealed the gates because of you
Now no one will ever get through
(Chorus)
This heart’s a Maginot Line,
No more possibilities of war crimes
Built from endless sleepless nights
I’m my own white knight
You can keep trying to impede
But love’s a war I’ll never need.
I’m fortified by my own design
Behind the Maginot Line.
(Verse 2)
You say it’s time to reunite,
But I’ve seen the dawn betray the night.
Every tender word’s a white lie,
Every touch is a battle cry.
I don’t trust your battle fight,
You hint at the need for requite.
I’ve learned that love’s a losing game,
Where every victory ends inflames
(Pre-Chorus)
So I raise the walls again,
My heart is wearing thin.
(Chorus)
This heart’s a Maginot Line,
No more possibilities of war crimes
Built from endless sleepless nights
I’m my own white knight
You can keep trying to impede
But love’s a war I’ll never need.
I’m fortified by my own design
Behind the Maginot Line.
(Bridge)
Maybe someday it’ll crumble down
By then, it’ll be a ghost town
But not tonight, I protect my own
Not with the unknown
(Chorus)
This heart’s a Maginot Line,
No more possibilities of war crimes
Built from endless sleepless nights
I’m my own white knight
You can keep trying to impede
But love’s a war I’ll never need.
I’m fortified by my own design
Behind the Maginot Line.
11/10/2025
The Crow’s Probe
(Verse 1)
I woke beside the heavy tomb,
A whisper left, impending doom.
Your scent still haunts the bitter air,
But you’re found nowhere.
They said love dies, but it’s a decree
It burns like a burn in third degree
I flew through the graves of what we were,
Digging for truth in the dirt and blur.
(Pre-Chorus)
Every heartbeat you caused to leap
I unearth in the places buried deep
(Chorus)
I’m the crow in distress
Pecking at the lies, I have to assess
Your ghost still lingers in my bones,
As I reminisce at the gravestone
Love’s not gone, it’s just transformed
Cold and black, just like the great storm.
(Verse 2)
Your eyes were candles in the storm,
Now hollow glass that won’t stay warm.
I trace the crime of love’s last breath,
Every touch, a clue to death.
I follow trails of broken tales,
Your voice in the wind, your scent in trails
In the ruin, I found your memory,
Written in soot, like an abandoned penitentiary.
(Pre-Chorus)
You taught me how to live with this bloodstain
Now I wear your memory like a rugged terrain.
(Chorus)
I’m the crow that is in distress
Pecking at the lies, I have to assess
Your ghost still lingers in my bones,
As I reminisce at the gravestone
Love’s not gone, it’s just transformed
Cold and black, just like the great storm.
(Bridge)
Do you feel me in your afterglow?
Does it take you in with the undertow?
I found the heart you buried deep,
It beats for me with a weep.
(Whispered)
I am your reckoning, your requiem’s ping
The truth is, I was your everything.
(Final Chorus)
I’m the crow in distress
Pecking at the lies, I have to assess
Our love’s a corpse that won’t decay,
It feeds the dark, it holds the deepest dismay.
Even the grave can’t make me forget
The crow still asks, “How is the regret?”
11/09/2025
Worse Than the Rest
(Verse 1)
You said you were nothing like rest,
So I decided to give it a try.
You mirrored everything I wanted,
And I was foolish to buy the lie.
You held my heart like fragile glass,
Then dropped it just to see it break.
I thought I’d learned from all the past,
But you were just a better fake.
(Pre-Chorus)
You played the part so well
Like love was your prize.
I saw the truth too late to swell,
The devil eyes tend to mesmorize.
(Chorus)
You said you’d be different,
Turns out you’re worse than the rest.
You lit a fire, watched it burn,
But it was all just in jest.
I thought you were healing,
But you’re another wound to mend.
You said you’d be different,
But you were worse in the end.
(Verse 2)
You made me believe in love again,
Just to leave me in the cold.
Every “I love you” that you whispered
Turned into black mold.
You manipulated to what I wanted to hear,
But your words were paper-thin.
You taught me love doesn’t exist,
It’s a battle I’ll never win.
(Pre-Chorus)
You had all of my heart,
Then burned it and let it smoke.
Another promise torn apart,
Another heart broke.
(Chorus)
You said you’d be different,
Turns out you’re worse than the rest.
You lit a fire, watched it burn,
But it was all just in jest.
I thought you were healing,
But you’re another wound to mend.
You said you’d be different,
But you were worse in the end.
(Bridge)
Now I see through your lies,
Through your acting and betrayal.
You broke me just to prove a point,
That good men fade to dust.
And now the only thing I trust
Is me, not love.
(Chorus)
You said you’d be different,
Turns out you’re worse than the rest.
You lit a fire, watched it burn,
But it was all just in jest.
I thought you were healing,
But you’re another wound to mend.
You said you’d be different,
But you were worse in the end.
(Outro)
You were never different,
You were just better at pretending to be.
Victor
Storms crashed down,
but still I survived.
Stronger than a phoenix,
an anomaly of strength.
Stronger soul today,
no regrets to face.
Never held back by limitations,
a mentor to all the hopeful.
Life battles waging war,
but I’ll be the victor.
Admiration from those around,
inspiration for those to come.
10/30/2025
Silent Watcher
Just linger in the shadows,
a ghost hidden away.
I’m the one you superpose,
And now feeling a sense of dismay.
You see the smiles I imprint on you,
and wonder how I’m doing so well,
when you thought I’d subdue.
It’s everything you dwell.
Now you live with my memory,
in the loudness of your quiet night.
Watching me like the best documentary,
Looking at it in hindsight.
You take what little’s left of me
in glances I didn’t give freely.
Waiting for me to make my plea,
while I show myself steely.
Does it drive you crazy?
Is this not what you expected?
Looking back, is it hazy?
Are you feeling rejected?
Engraving
Verse 1
You had gold in your hands,
But you let it slip through like the sands.
You turned your back while I soared
Now this cataclysmic love will never be restored.
You threw away the one thing you manifested
You were never fully invested.
Chorus
Now you’re standing in the ruins of maybe,
Wishing you’d fought when you still could’ve saved me.
Found something so pristine
You’re haunted by what I mean.
It’s too late for amazing
You’ll be left with this engraving
Verse 2
Mistook my kindness for desperation
When really I was your only salvation
Now the heavens forever cry for you
Because you threw away something true.
Now every memory and echo calls my name,
And you finally feel the heat of the flame.
Chorus
Now you’re standing in the ruins of maybe,
Wishing you’d fought when you still could’ve saved me.
Found something so pristine
You’re haunted by what I mean.
It’s too late for amazing
You’ll be left with this engraving
Bridge
I was the prize you let go
You’ll never experience the afterglow
Lost in your own misery
What we had is history
Chorus
Now you’re standing in the ruins of maybe,
Wishing you’d fought when you still could’ve saved me.
Found something so pristine
You’re haunted by what I mean.
It’s too late for amazing
You’ll be left with this engraving
10/28/2025
Chalk Lessons
I once drew hearts in sidewalk chalk,
believing it symbolized lasting love.
Each crush gone as fast as it came.
Each scar a self-inflicted game,
till rain washed away the chalk.
You were my admiration,
a storybook I tried to publish.
But limerence taught me true beauty.
Love’s not lost, but instead a plea,
even when I crave fixation.
Now stronger, I walk tall.
The swings still hum, the laughs go on.
I hold the chalk with balanced hands.
And build my dreams on truer commands,
lessons that I shall forever recall.
10/27/2015
Even When I Knew
I knew it wouldn’t last.
You were lightning:
bright, wild, gone before I could catch.
And still, I stood in the storm
pretending it was enough.
I saw the ending like a shadow
waiting just behind your smile.
But, it still hurts.
Knowing
doesn’t make the loss any easier
it just makes me feel gullible
for hoping it’d be real,
for believing love could rewrite the laws of gravity and find me.
Now I’m left with ghosts of what would never be,
playing memories like they’re proof
that something real once tried to exist.
And I keep asking myself
why I miss a dagger
that was always meant to kill me.
10/26/2025
Confined Heart
Love once blossomed in my chest,
soft as morning light on grass.
Now it feels deeply oppressed
Withering away in the hourglass.
The air hums with what we were,
a tune that turns my stomach and makes me ache
Wishing I could turn you into a blur,
hoping each day I never wake.
My body reacts to the pain,
cutting deep into the abyss.
It was I that you slain,
yet, still, I will never remiss.
Permanent mark in my mind,
wishing I could expunge.
Daily fighting of feeling confined,
into the darkness I plunge.
10/26/2025
Abandoned House
A house that once hummed with life
Windows that shone with happiness and sunlight in every room
Now, all it contains is the afterlife
The house, which is now entombed
A porch swing swaying in lonely guise
Floorboards groan, and echoes of steps and laughter
Paint peeling like forgotten promises
of a life that was ever-after
Memories flooding like hostages
Screaming to escape the haunting cries
Even in decay, the house won’t let go
Spirits roam through the memories
Wishing they could all forego
All the promises from the centuries
That now just agonize
Abandoned and left behind to wither away
Forgotten like a letter in the bottom drawer
Broken, shattered, and fallen, windows dismay
Its purpose forgotten forevermore
A hallway dark, where light denies
People walk by and wait for the demolition
For the abandoned house, vacant and forgotten
A stairway collapsed in sad submission
Fireplace cold, embers rotten
A rusty keyhole that no one pries
10/20/2025
Concrete Wings
There was light that was revoked
Shattered are all my dreams
Now I sit in silence with the noises in my head
Fighting the demons eating me inside out
Sense tells me to thrust ahead
But the self hate thrashes about
Wings flapping, trying to break free
Cemented onto the ground crying out pleas
Nipping at the fruit of the poisonous tree
The whip of the wind feeling absentee
I spread my wings to take flight
Only to fall and fail
Everything in me feels like darkest night
I can never prevail
So here I stand-helpless and broke
Stuck with concrete wings
10/20/2025
Tips for New Teachers: What I Wish I Knew
Starting a teaching career can be overwhelming, especially without the support of a comprehensive teacher preparation program. The transition into the classroom often brings anxiety and uncertainty.
My journey was unique. I was assigned two campuses while managing five-course preps. At first glance, this might seem daunting to most, and truthfully, it was a significant challenge. However, this experience provided invaluable lessons. The contrasting cultures and demographics of the two campuses broadened my perspective, and the strong support system at one of the schools played a crucial role in my growth.
Now, fifteen years later, here’s what I wish I had known as a new teacher:
Ask Questions: The Key to Growth as a New Teacher
As a new teacher, you don’t know what you don’t know. The best way to navigate the learning curve is by asking questions—whether to colleagues in your content area, teachers in your hallway, or those with similar teaching experiences. These conversations will provide some of the most valuable insights as you establish yourself in the classroom.
Asking questions is essential to success, from lesson planning and classroom management to scheduling and parent communication. Even after fifteen years in the profession, I continue to seek advice from my peers. Every school has its own culture, and what works in one environment may not be effective in another. If you transition to a new campus, district, or leadership team, take the time to understand the expectations and dynamics of your new setting.
Not Sure What to Ask? Start Here.
To help you navigate your first few months, consider asking:
- Student Expectations: What are the arrival, dismissal, and transition procedures?
- Student Demographics: What should I know about our student population?
- Curriculum & Pacing: Is there a district-mandated curriculum or pacing guide?
- Technology Resources: What tools are available for teachers and students?
- Professional Development: What training opportunities are offered?
- Observations: Am I allowed to observe other teachers on and off campus?
- Administrator Feedback: How do administrators provide feedback?
- Campus Routines: What are the key procedures (e.g., CHAMPS, lunch routines, hallway transitions)?
- Parent Communication: What is the preferred method for contacting parents? Am I required to document interactions?
- Student Accommodations: How do I track 504 and IEP accommodations, and where is this information recorded?
You’ll gain confidence and build a strong foundation for your teaching career by actively seeking guidance. Never hesitate to ask—every question brings you one step closer to success.
Beg, Borrow, Steal, Adapt, and Train: Learning from Others as a New Teacher
One of the most valuable things you can do as a new teacher is learn from those around you. This includes colleagues within your building, educators from other schools, professional networks, social media, and online teaching resources such as Teachers Pay Teachers. With so many tools and sources of inspiration available, it can feel overwhelming to know where to start.
Recommendations for Expanding Your Knowledge
- Explore District and Regional Trainings – Contact your district about in-person or digital training opportunities. Many states also have regional education offices that offer professional development for teachers. They may provide additional training options if you’re part of a union. Before enrolling, confirm whether the training counts toward the required professional development hours.
- Join Webinars for Educational Technology – Many platforms, such as Canva, Nearpod, and IXL, offer free webinars to help teachers maximize student engagement and learning through their tools.
- Engage with Social Media Communities – Follow experienced educators on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok. Many share valuable teaching strategies, classroom management tips, and creative lesson ideas, often with real-life implementation examples.
- Curate and Adapt What Works for You – No single resource or lesson perfectly fits your teaching style, schedule, or classroom structure. Be selective—take what aligns with your needs, modify where necessary, and leave out what doesn’t work. Remember that different schools follow different schedules, such as block scheduling versus shorter class periods, so flexibility is key.
Leveraging the wealth of knowledge from your professional community can help you build a strong foundation and continue evolving as an educator. Teaching is a collaborative profession—embrace the shared wisdom, and don’t be afraid to adjust to fit your unique classroom environment.
Be Yourself: The Power of Authentic Teaching
Authenticity is key to long-term success and reduced stress in teaching. Stay true to your teaching style and preferences. If interactive notebooks aren’t your thing, don’t feel pressured to use them. Teaching should balance innovation and comfort—trying new strategies is valuable, but forcing yourself into methods that don’t align with your style can lead to unnecessary stress. I believe in experimenting with different approaches at least once, but if something doesn’t work for you, it’s okay to let it go. What works for one teacher may not work for another, and that’s perfectly fine.
Building Relationships: The Foundation of Effective Teaching
Strong student relationships are essential for a successful classroom. Dedicate at least the first few days to getting to know your students. These conversations may initially feel surface-level—discussing favorite sports, candy, TV shows, or music—but they serve as a starting point for deeper connections. When asking students about their interests, be sure to share your own—modeling this interaction fosters mutual trust and engagement.
As the year progresses, find ways to incorporate personal connections into your curriculum. This can be done through warm-ups, exit tickets, or content-related discussions. For an English teacher, personal reflections and discussions are naturally woven into lessons, but small moments for connection are possible even in subjects like math. A little effort goes a long way in building trust and rapport.
However, always maintain professional boundaries. Avoid oversharing personal details, and remember that as a teacher, you are a mandated reporter. Some students face challenges far beyond their years; you may hear complex stories. If a student shares something concerning, you must report it appropriately.
By remaining authentic and prioritizing relationships, you can create a supportive and engaging learning environment where you and your students can thrive.
You Are Your Best Advocate
Above all, remember that you are your strongest advocate. Stay true to your values and teaching philosophy, and never lose sight of what matters most. This ties back to authenticity—finding fulfillment in this profession requires staying aligned with your core beliefs and principles.
That said, being true to yourself does not mean imposing personal views or political opinions on students. In many states, doing so is against ethical guidelines. Instead, model the values you believe in through your actions. If family is important to you, foster a classroom environment that feels like a supportive community rather than expecting students to conform to a traditional family structure. If you believe in equality, empower all students to express their perspectives respectfully rather than promoting a singular viewpoint. Demonstrating fairness, inclusivity, and critical thinking allows students to develop their values in an unbiased environment.
Applying these foundational principles can make your first year as a teacher successful. While there are countless strategies to help you navigate this journey, too much advice at once can become overwhelming. Start small, implement changes gradually, and refine your approach over time. Teaching is a lifelong learning process—embrace it with confidence and authenticity.
How to Review the School Day at Home: A Guide for Parents
Reviewing the school day at home can be a valuable practice for reinforcing learning, fostering communication, and strengthening the parent-child relationship. Parents play a pivotal role in helping children process what they learn at school, allowing for a deeper understanding of academic content and supporting emotional development. Research suggests that discussing the school day can enhance memory retention, boost motivation, and build stronger academic habits (Epstein, 2011). This blog explores strategies for parents to effectively review the school day at home in a way that promotes both academic success and emotional well-being.
Open-Ended Questions Encourage Meaningful Conversations
One of the most effective ways to review the school day is through open-ended questions, which encourage children to reflect on their experiences. Instead of asking, “How was school?”—which often elicits a simple “good” or “fine”—parents can ask more specific questions that prompt deeper thought. Questions such as “What was the most interesting thing you learned today?” or “Can you tell me about a challenge you faced?” allow children to express themselves in more detail and engage in meaningful conversations.
Research by Fishel and Ramirez (2005) suggests that open-ended questions help children reflect on both academic content and their emotions, fostering emotional intelligence and self-awareness. Parents should listen actively and avoid interrupting, allowing the child to take the lead in sharing their thoughts. This process not only helps children articulate their learning but also fosters a sense of support and encouragement from the parent.
Incorporate a Routine
Creating a routine for reviewing the school day can be beneficial for both parents and children. Just as students thrive on routines in the classroom, having a set time to discuss their day at home can provide structure and consistency (Epstein, 2011). Whether it’s during dinner, on the ride home from school, or before bedtime, establishing a regular time for reflection can help children prepare mentally and emotionally to share their thoughts.
Routines also ensure that reviewing the school day becomes a habit rather than a sporadic activity. According to Clear (2018), habits are more likely to stick when they are tied to specific cues—such as the end of the school day or a family meal. By setting aside a specific time for this conversation, parents can create a predictable space for children to open up about their day and process their learning.
Celebrate Small Wins
Acknowledging and celebrating small achievements during the school day can boost children’s motivation and confidence. When reviewing the day, parents should focus on both academic and social accomplishments, reinforcing that all aspects of the school experience are important. Positive reinforcement, such as recognizing effort in completing a challenging assignment or highlighting acts of kindness, encourages children to take pride in their work and social interactions.
According to Carol Dweck’s (2006) research on the growth mindset, praising effort over inherent ability helps children understand that they can improve through hard work. By celebrating progress rather than perfection, parents can help their children develop resilience and a love of learning. Simple gestures like verbal praise or spending quality time together as a reward can reinforce the positive behaviors associated with schoolwork.
Focus on Emotions, Not Just Academics
School days are not just about learning math or reading; they are also filled with emotional and social experiences. It’s essential for parents to recognize the emotional dimension of their child’s school day when reviewing it at home. Asking about how a child felt during different parts of the day, how they navigated social interactions, or whether anything made them feel frustrated or proud can open up a broader conversation about emotional well-being.
Studies by Elias et al. (1997) highlight the importance of emotional intelligence in academic success. When parents provide a safe space for children to express their emotions, they help build emotional regulation skills, which are crucial for managing stress and maintaining focus in school. Additionally, validating a child’s feelings—whether they are excited, frustrated, or anxious—can create a supportive home environment where children feel understood and valued.
Encourage Problem-Solving and Reflection
Part of reviewing the school day should involve helping children reflect on any challenges they encountered. Whether it’s a difficult math problem, a disagreement with a friend, or anxiety about an upcoming test, parents can encourage their children to think critically about how to address these challenges. Asking questions like “What do you think you could do differently next time?” or “Is there anything you need help with?” can guide children toward problem-solving strategies.
According to Xu and Corno (2020), reflection and problem-solving are critical skills that contribute to academic resilience. By encouraging children to think about solutions rather than just focusing on problems, parents can foster a sense of independence and self-efficacy in their children. This approach also reinforces the idea that challenges are a normal part of learning, helping children develop a healthy attitude toward overcoming obstacles.
Conclusion
Reviewing the school day at home offers numerous benefits, from reinforcing academic concepts to fostering emotional intelligence. By asking open-ended questions, establishing a routine, celebrating small achievements, and focusing on both academic and emotional experiences, parents can create a supportive environment that encourages their children’s growth. This daily review not only strengthens the parent-child bond but also instills lifelong learning habits that contribute to academic success and emotional well-being.
References
Clear, J. (2018). Atomic habits: An easy & proven way to build good habits & break bad ones. Avery.
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House.
Elias, M. J., Gara, M. A., & Ubriaco, M. (1997). Emotional intelligence, social problem solving, and applied intelligence. In Social development: Relationships in infancy, childhood, and adolescence (pp. 167-193). Sage Publications.
Epstein, J. L. (2011). School, family, and community partnerships: Preparing educators and improving schools. Westview Press.
Fishel, M., & Ramirez, L. (2005). Parent involvement in children’s education: A review of research and policy. Family Involvement Research Digest, 1-6.
Xu, J., & Corno, L. (2020). Engaging homework: Perspectives from teachers, parents, and students. Theory Into Practice, 59(1), 45-55. https://doi.org/10.1080/00405841.2019.1682173
Balancing Work and Life: Strategies for Achieving a Healthy Work-Life Balance
In today’s fast-paced world, achieving a healthy work-life balance has become increasingly challenging. With the rise of remote work and the blurred lines between personal and professional life, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the demands of both. However, maintaining balance is essential for physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This blog explores key strategies to help manage the competing priorities of work and life while maintaining health and happiness.
1. Set Clear Boundaries
One of the most critical steps in achieving work-life balance is establishing clear boundaries between work and personal time. Without boundaries, work can easily spill over into personal life, leading to burnout. According to a study by the American Psychological Association (APA), individuals who set firm boundaries between work and home life report lower stress levels and greater job satisfaction (APA, 2020).
Communicate your work hours to colleagues and supervisors, and resist the urge to check emails or respond to work messages after hours. Setting boundaries ensures you have time for rest, hobbies, and family, which is essential for long-term well-being.
2. Prioritize Time Management
Effective time management is another crucial aspect of balancing work and life. Prioritizing tasks based on importance and urgency allows you to focus on what matters most without feeling overwhelmed. The Eisenhower Matrix is a popular time management tool that categorizes tasks into four quadrants: urgent and important, important but not urgent, urgent but not necessary, and neither urgent nor essential (Covey, 1989).
Such strategies allow you to allocate time efficiently and avoid unnecessary stress. Additionally, scheduling regular breaks throughout the workday can help maintain focus and prevent burnout. Research suggests short breaks improve productivity and mental clarity (Fritz et al., 2011).
3. Embrace Flexibility
Flexibility is critical to achieving work-life balance, especially in today’s dynamic work environment. With the rise of remote work and flexible hours, many employees have more control over their schedules. This flexibility allows you to better balance personal commitments, such as family time or self-care, without sacrificing professional responsibilities.
However, flexibility also requires discipline. Establishing a daily routine that includes dedicated time for work, personal activities, and relaxation ensures that both areas of life receive attention. A study published in Harvard Business Review found that individuals who cultivated structured flexibility reported higher levels of job satisfaction and work-life balance (Kossek & Lautsch, 2018).
4. Learn to Say No
Overcommitting is a common pitfall that can hinder work-life balance. Whether taking on extra projects at work or agreeing to social events, constantly saying “yes” can leave you feeling stretched too thin. Learning to say “no” when necessary is vital for protecting your time and energy.
Saying no doesn’t mean neglecting responsibilities; it’s preserving your well-being. Assertive communication helps you manage your workload more effectively and maintain balance. A study in The Journal of Social Psychology found that individuals who practice assertiveness experience lower levels of stress and burnout (Smith et al., 2017).
5. Prioritize Self-Care
Self-care is often the first thing to be sacrificed when juggling work and personal life, but it is one of the most essential elements of a balanced life. Regular physical activity, proper nutrition, and adequate sleep are key to maintaining energy levels and mental clarity (Mayo Clinic, 2018).
Additionally, engaging in enjoyable activities—reading, spending time outdoors, or practicing mindfulness—helps reduce stress and recharge your mind. Prioritizing self-care makes it easier to approach both work and life with a positive attitude and greater resilience.
Conclusion
Achieving a healthy work-life balance is an ongoing process that requires intentional effort. You can create a more harmonious and fulfilling life by setting boundaries, managing time effectively, embracing flexibility, learning to say no, and prioritizing self-care. Balancing work and personal life enhances productivity and improves overall well-being and happiness.
References
- American Psychological Association. (2020). Work-Life Balance Stress in America Survey.
- Covey, S. (1989). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Free Press.
- Fritz, C., et al. (2011). Take a break: The benefits of pauses and breaks in work performance. Journal of Applied Psychology.
- Kossek, E. E., & Lautsch, B. A. (2018). The dynamic relationship between work-life balance and job satisfaction. Harvard Business Review.
- Mayo Clinic. (2018). Work-life balance: Tips to reclaim control.
- Smith, R. E., et al. (2017). Assertiveness, stress, and psychological well-being in the workplace. The Journal of Social Psychology.
3 Methods of Modeling in the ELAR Classroom
Modeling in the classroom is vital in pushing students to do their best. As educators, we often strive for perfection in showing students how mechanics should be completed, whether it’s fluency, compression, writing, editing, or revising.
But the reality is that even teachers need to model mistakes in a classroom. It makes teachers human and allows the kids to connect to the teacher and release the pressure of perfection.
1) Write Without Organization
One of the first things I model with my students is brainstorming and writing. I don’t worry about details, paragraphs, word choice, introduction, conclusion, setting, etc. I just write.
Whatever flows from your mind should be processed on paper. You should never try to make the first attempt perfect – not with grammar, spelling, content organization, etc. Students should see you struggle as they would struggle. They should notate any mishaps you have so they don’t initially feel the pressure of perfection.
If you teach middle or high school, you likely have multiple classes. It would help to have an imperfect draft as a model. If you have time, it’s suggested that you write in front of them for every class. One way to spice this up is to create a different prompt for every class so you have multiple stories to tell.
Why is this important?
Sometimes, students feel the pressure to be perfect in their writing, which can cause brain fog. They get so wrapped up in needing all the literary elements that they forget the basics of the story.
Allowing a student to just write freely allows the student to let ideas flow and run through without stress about perfection or judgment. Students who “just write” often have an easier time adjusting their writing and revisiting their content to ensure greater success.
Allowing them to write will also enable students to choose what they want YOU to focus on as a teacher regarding revision. Once the student gets the basic story on paper, you can focus on differentiation through small-group instruction.
If you allow them to write before making a graphic organizer to separate the organization into paragraphs, you allow them to gather their overall thoughts before trying to separate them into big ideas. They can take apart their own essays and place them into “categories,” which become the paragraphs of the paper.
This can also make grading more manageable for you by allowing the student to focus on one thing at a time.
How to implement small group after “just writing”:
Some small groups could be the standards that push students to the next level, which automatically leads to revision:
- Theme
- Thesis/Claim
- Character Development
- Sensory Detail
- Introduction/Conclusion
- Supporting Evidence
- Use of Text/Graphic Features
- Organization
- Setting
- Word Choice
- Grammar
- Conflict-Resolution
2) Marking the Text
When introducing a new concept, it is important to mark the text. This is best done color-coded. I personally enjoy different colored highlighters or colored pencils. I have the students match my colors as much as possible to ensure they have the same notes I do.
How to implement:
For example, when we learn about CER (Claim, Evidence, Reasoning), we use three colors. I like to use blue, red/pink, and green, but any three colors will work. I often do Blue for Claim, Red/Pink for Evidence, and Green for Reasoning.
During the first read of the passage, we just read, think aloud, and process what’s being said. We may pause and discuss chunks, summarize chunks, or find methods to help us “remember” the paragraphs of each section.
On the second read, we often look for the colors, focusing on one at a time. We will discuss what the claim is and how we know it’s the claim. When the claim has been identified, we often discuss the various ways in which the claim can be stated. As we read, we highlight in blue any mention of the claim. We discuss why the author incorporates the claim throughout the passage multiple times, not just at the beginning and end.
On the third read, we focus on the red/pink for evidence. When we discuss evidence, we look for statistics, references, citations, etc. We look for facts about the topic. We avoid opinions, thoughts, and unproven methods. Anytime we see something with evidence, we highlight it in red/pink. From there, we discuss how the evidence supports the claim and why it’s essential to include the evidence for the claim. This brings in a deeper understanding of how authors are intentional about their work.
On the last read, I focused on the green for reasons. Reasons support the evidence, which supports the claim. Reasons are the explanations for why the evidence is important. We draw attention to this to allow students to see the thought process of how the author will support their claim.
Why it’s important:
By color-coding and modeling this, students can see the organization of the paper and better understand the thinking behind the author’s craft.
This gives a visual representation of writing for students. This allows students to see if their own writing mimics the author’s writing and make adjustments as needed. Students can go back to their papers and color-code their papers. If they do not see all three colors, they can revise to help their claim.
This method works for any genre or standard. The important thing is that there is a color-coded key for students to follow and refer back to often to ensure they have a great reference for their own use.
3) One-Pagers
One mistake educators often make is believing students are familiar with certain classroom strategies. Though students may have a concrete background in most strategies, treating each strategy as brand new is essential.
Modeling one-pagers is vital because every person has a different perspective and idea of what a one-pager should look like. The expectations should be drawn out as you grade a student’s one-pager. Sometimes, having a good and a “bad” example will help the student understand the difference. Students don’t need to be artists, so it’s essential to show that they do not need to be by incorporating stick figures, too!
How to implement:
One of the first activities I do at the beginning of the year is a one-pager about myself. On this one-pager, I put information strictly about me there: my interest in reading, writing, cats, traveling, pens, favorite snacks (Skittles, Doritos), shopping (Amazon, Target, Ulta), drinks (water, Coca-Cola, Dr. Pepper), and general information about my family (like two brothers, two nieces, two nephews, etc.).
When I do this, I incorporate different lettering, page breakdowns (how the one-pager is broken up), pictures, colors, and more.
Why it’s important:
This is a great way to build relationships with students and show them expectations about one-pagers. I only make one for this, even if I teach multiple classes because it takes so much time. Sometimes, I will create numerous or add to them each class so the students can see my progress in each class. Having it already created allows me to think aloud with the students on the one-pager and explain why I chose what I did and how it ties to the rubric.
Modeling Doesn’t Stop There
Modeling is incredibly important for students, whether in first grade or eleventh grade. It allows students to see the process in action and process their learning with it. There are millions of ways to model within the classroom. Starting small with one of the methods above is easy and not too time-consuming. It doesn’t require much adjustment.
One of the biggest benefits of modeling is that it allows you to see and feel any possible misconceptions students may have during the creation process. I always told my students, “I never give you anything I haven’t done.” I do this not only to determine misconceptions but also to determine their interest in the topic at hand. If I’m bored, they’re bored.
How Fast Life Changes: House Fire & Post-Op
I meant to update with my post-op hysterectomy, but life happened.
I had surgery on June 23rd. My post-op appointment was July 31st. Work started August 1st. But…My mom had a house fire on July 23rd.
The house fire was my childhood home. I grew up in that house and lived there for 26 years. Memories filled that home with good and bad. A lot of the “major” events of my life happened there: graduation from high school, graduation with my Bachelor’s degree, graduation with my Masters, first job, current job, and much more. My mom lived in that house for 40+ years and owned it. She didn’t have insurance due to State Farm dropping her for previous claims.
If you’d like to donate to the GoFundMe, we would greatly appreciate it. I also have Venmo (@AngelBoucher) and Cashapp ($AngelBoucher).
My brother and she lost everything: clothes, hygiene, their home, furniture, bedding, towels, etc. My brother’s car key and phone melted in the fire. We had to call a locksmith to make him a new key. She also now needs to find a new home of some kind. My mom is 70 years old, which is nearly impossible to start over. HUD housing has a 2+ year waitlist. Habitat for Humanity is not taking applications. We’ve reached out to a million people, and there just isn’t much help right now, understandably so.
My mom and brother made it out, barely, along with their dogs. Some cats made it out, while others did not. Immediately following the fire, my brother moved in with my oldest brother and sister-in-law. My mom moved in with me.
The fire started with a window air conditioning unit. Because Texas has had an extremely dry summer, the grass around it was dry and dead. The fire spread quickly, causing the majority of the house to burn and all of my brother’s RV. What wasn’t burned was filled with soot from the fire. The house was declared a danger, uninhabitable, and a total loss. Two cities had to come help put out the fire. It took several hours to put out. It reignited and required them to come out a second time.









It’s been extremely stressful and depressing since the fire. Add on work stress and normal life stressors. It’s been a rough month and a half. I haven’t had the time or mental capacity to update. Processing so much loss in a short amount of time is difficult.
Wednesday, September 6th, 2023 what’s left of the house gets demolished. At first, I was okay with the thought. As it nears, I am much more emotional about it. I couldn’t figure out why. The memories exist regardless of the physical house or not. But then it hit me…
The house has two meanings to me:
1) It was the last big physical memory of my dad.
2) The house was symbolic of my life: from the happy, new beginnings to the demise into pieces. I won’t go into details right now, but…it really made my emotions make sense.
I knew I had to make this post. Not only to update those curious about the hysterectomy but also just a general update. I’ve been struggling, mentally.
Mental health is not talked about enough. As someone who used to write for a mental health company, I am pretty self-aware. Not everyone is, and not everyone has support. I think it’s important for more people to talk about the reality of how strenuous things (small and big) can be on the mind. At times, it can feel incredibly overwhelming. At other times, I feel completely numb and lack any empathy.
As for my post-op, everything was fine. I had a few stitches not yet resolved. He cleared me to return to normal activities. I have yet to make it to the gym. He said that a year after surgery, my body was only 80% healed. I found that fascinating. The doctor mentioned that my scar tissue would break down and build up over and over throughout the healing process. I may feel times of discomfort, but generally, I should be okay. He emphasized listening to my body. He did say I wouldn’t need any future exams, as I chose a full hysterectomy.
In the midst of everything going on, I chose to get a tattoo to symbolize my hysterectomy.
Yellow = Endometriosis
Teal = Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)
Magenta = Adenomyosis
Purple = All three mixed together

A lot has changed in my life in the last month. A lot will continue to change. Every day I get stronger – mentally and physically. Life will never cease to amaze me.
I plan to use the next couple of months regathering myself and figuring things out.
Tips & Purchases for Hysterectomy
If you’re like me, you’ll probably research a lot about your surgery before it happens. It’s always better to go into something prepared. As I told my mom, I’d rather have things I don’t need and return them than not have them and need them. We all heal differently, but most every woman can agree that these items will help with the recovery of a hysterectomy.
Any product link is NOT affiliated.
General Tips
1. Hydrate: I was lucky to be told I could hydrate up to two hours before surgery. In fact, I was given a special pre-surgery drink from Ensure that is supposed to help with recovery. I looked into this because I thought it was just a marketing scheme, but there are actual medical studies on how this drink helps patients recover. One thing I was told and looked up to be true was that the more hydrated I am, the better the recovery will be. In my mind, I rolled my eyes. However, it was true. Leading up to my surgery, I made sure to down at least 60 ounces of water every day. After surgery, I drank at least 120 ounces in the hospital in 48 hours. I peed like I’ve never peed before, but that’s a good thing (we’ll talk about catheters later). During recovery, my days were a hit-and-miss. On days I didn’t drink enough, the next day was rough. On days I had plenty of fluid, I felt unstoppable the next day. Stay hydrated!
2. Walk A Lot: You’ll want to lay around in the hospital bed and/or at home a lot. It’s natural. Everything hurts. However, the more you walk, the better you’ll feel. Walking not only helps with the inflammation and rebuilding of the muscles, but it will also help move the surgery gas through your body. The surgery gas is one of the worst parts of this procedure (see below). The faster you get it out of your system, the better you’ll feel. When you walk more, it moves the gas around to help it escape. Walking also helps the bowels function to prevent constipation (details coming later). Lastly, walking helps reduce the possibility of blood clots.
3. TAP Block: I was lucky to have them give me a TAP Block during surgery. Even with that, though, I woke up from anesthesia in severe pain (see below). After waking up, they offered me a second TAP Block. TAP Blocks are similar to epidurals but are given in the front of the body to block the lower limb nerves. It was an uncomfortable shot, but it was well worth it considering the pain you’ll have when you first wake up. It will help with recovery and lessen the pain, in turn lessening the need for pain meds.
4. Rest: You’ll want to return to normal activities. Don’t let your body fool you. You’ll have some great recovery days, but if you overdo it, it can cause more damage to the site. You’ll want to test as much as you can to ensure you heal properly so you won’t have secondary effects. No matter how ready you feel, do not lift things!
5. Have Someone to Help: If you live alone, make sure to have a plan for someone to help you. The first few days, you’ll halt being able to do anything. Don’t try to force it. Having someone to help do laundry, dishes, getting food, etc. is helpful. You’ll not want to risk injuring yourself during recovery.
6. Prepare for Waking Up: Waking up from anesthesia will be the worst you’ve ever felt in your life. I felt myself trashing around in the hospital bed, crying in pain. No one talks about those first 10 minutes, but it is the worst. It’s like you’re waking up in the middle of the surgery itself. Luckily, if you have good nurses, they’ll notice it and handle your pain meds immediately. After you get over the first two hours of anesthesia wearing off, you are golden! Nothing will compare to the feeling of just waking up, though.
7. Have Things to Do: You’ll get bored incredibly quickly after the surgery. There is only so much you can do on your phone, including games. It may become hard to focus on audiobooks and reading because of the medication. You won’t be able to lift anything, so you’ll have to be careful what activities you choose to do. You won’t be able to have anything on your stomach either. I personally used this time to learn how to crochet and expand my interest in writing. Hide the credit card because it will be so easy to just shop from your phone all the time!
8. Have Easy Meals: Whether you stock up on frozen dinners or whether you have pre-made meals, it’s important to have meals that are easy to reheat/heat. Coming out of surgery, you’re not going warm to stand over a stove or oven trying to cook something. You’re also not going to want to do a ton of dishes afterward, either. I personally bought quite a few ready soups. Because I knew that a liquid diet would be beneficial for the movement of my bowels. However, I did get some other frozen dinners to make up for days when I felt like I needed solid food or protein.
9. Prepare Mentally: Aside from the physical pain, the emotional/mental side of this surgery is tough, especially if you’re fairly independent. You will need support, good friends/family to check in on you and help you, and you’ll need distractors for things you can no longer do or pain.
Must Have Items to Buy
1. Gas-X, Miralax, and Stool Softeners: The gas is extraordinarily painful. The gas you’ll have will build up in your intestines and your body by your shoulders, rib cage, back, etc. The faster you can relieve this gas, the better you’ll feel. On the same token, the pain medication will/can cause constipation. You don’t want to be constipated because it can cause damage to the surgical site. The easier bowel movements you have, the faster you will heal. You’ll want to take Stool Softeners and Miralax to help get things moving. If you haven’t gone in a week, you need to contact your doctor. It is also recommended to potentially do an enema as well if no bowel movement has occurred. Once you have diarrhea, though, back off the Miralax. Diarrhea is equally as bad as constipation when it comes to the healing process. Generic brands are fine.
2. Heating Pads & Ice Packs: Heating pads help not only with pain and swelling but also help in moving the gas around. The gas tends to be the worst part of the surgery, so the faster you get it to move and release from your body, the better you’ll feel. Ice also helps with inflammation and swelling post-surgery. My personal favorite heating device is the electric portable one. I can take it with me to work, drive, etc. It lays flat on my site so it ensures constant contact. A regular heating pad works well at home. Similar to the heating pad, I enjoy the clay ice packs with the Velcro enclosure. It allows me to have the ice pack flat, with pressure, on the site. At home, the large or extra-large ice pack would be great.
3. Belly Binder: Most of the time, the hospital will provide one for you through your insurance. However, if they don’t, or if you want to be prepared, I would suggest getting a belly binder. It doesn’t have to be fancy or detailed, but a bigger one for the whole abdominal area will help. After surgery, your other organs are fighting for the open space. Add that to the rawness and swelling of the surgery, and it’ll feel like cinderblocks are attacked to you. Pulling yourself up, getting up from a seated position, laying down, and even using the bathroom are all painful after surgery, so this will help create a tight feeling to make it more tolerable. It feels like someone hugging your abdominal muscles all day. It truly feels amazing! I was lucky to get one through my insurance, but Amazon has a belly binder similar. You can get them in all sizes.
4. Loose Clothing (Nightgowns/Dresses), Including Underwear: With the swelling and inflammation, you’ll want to have your clothes barely touching you. It’s really recommended to wear nightgowns and/or dresses to have no pressure on your incision sites. It will allow your incisions to breathe as well. You’ll relieve so much pain just by going up a size for this surgery. I bought my nightgowns through Walmart. Their nightgowns were soft and cool. I got it one size bigger than I needed for comfort and swelling purposes.
5. Apple Juice & Cranberry Juice: Apple juice will help with bowel movements and cranberry juice with help prevent urinary tract infections. During surgery, you’ll be given a catheter. Depending on how surgery goes, it may come out immediately. It may be left in. It’s no surprise that peeing after a catheter feels like a gas-fed fire. It’s incredibly painful. The more hydrated you are, the faster that pain will go away. Cranberry juice helps fight a potential infection. These pills can be taken to help as well, but not necessary if you maintain hydration and urinary movements.
6. Ibuprofen & Tylenol: Your doctor will only prescribe a few pain pills. The goal is to keep you off of them to ensure you don’t get constipated and to avoid possible addiction. They will tell you to begin taking the biggest dose of Tylenol and Ibuprofen possible in between pain meds to help the body adjust. Once you’re out of pain meds, it’s unlikely your doctor will prescribe more.
Recommended, but Not Necessary
1. Shower Stool/Shower Handles: Lifting your leg and standing for long periods will be difficult. It will exhaust all energy you have in your body. Standing up straight will feel impossible for the first few days. By using a shower stool, you’ll be able to take a good shower without feeling too much pain from the swelling or the tightness from trying to stand. If you know someone who had one, I would go that route. The hospital may also be able to get one approved through your insurance.
2. AVO Urinary Tract Infection (Cranberry) Pills: As mentioned previously, there is an increased risk of infection due to having the catheter. You’ll struggle to urinate the first few days as well, which can increase the risk of infection. To prevent that, you’ll want to stay hydrated. These pills can lessen the possibility of getting a urinary tract infection in the meantime.
3. Pillows: If you can afford nice wedge pillows, I would suggest that. However, cheap Walmart pillows will do as well. You’ll want one to protect your stomach, especially if you have pets or young kids. You may also buy a small one for driving to protect from the seat belt. You may want a pillow for your legs to prop them up. The first few days will be hard to straighten your legs. You may use it in between your legs as well if you’re a side sleeper. I bought four new pillows to help prop different parts of my body. I probably didn’t need that much, but it was good to have them!
4. Seat Belt Protector: This is a must-have, but there are other options out there. The seat belt protector protects your surgical site from the pressure of the seat belt. It allows you to place an ice pack or heating pack in there as well for additional comfort. Although you won’t necessarily be driving, even as a passenger, you’ll want the relief. The one I bought from Amazon has an ice/heat compartment. It’s soft and washable!
5. Abdominal Massager/Heat Pad: Although a basic heating pad would work, these machines do a great job of putting the perfect pressure on the abdomen. They provide a soothing light massage that won’t be too hard on your surgical site. It’s more of a vibration than anything else. What I like most about it, though, is that it sits perfectly around your abdomen, versus, a heating path that doesn’t have enough pressure to stay down on your stomach. Some brands are much louder and have more vibration than others, so make sure that you read the reviews. I linked my favorite to the heating/ice post.
Post-Surgery Recommendations
1. Cooling Blanket: Once your hormones start acting up, you’re going to start having hot flashes. To help prevent this, a cooling blanket is helpful. It’s a thin blanket that takes your heat and turns it into cool. They usually have running deals all the time on these. I highly recommend that you get one while on sale. My cooling blanket is fairly thin, but it does a great job converting heat to cool.
2. Tower Fan: Along with the hot flashes. I would also recommend getting a tower fan. You may not have hot flashes all the time. That tower fan will be extremely beneficial in cooling you off. The technology of these fans has grown tremendously, and you could now get one with Wi-Fi. You’ll want one with good running time, height, and strong power.
3. Neck Ice Rope/Fan: I would recommend getting both the ice rope and a neck fan. Both of these will help cool you in the middle of a hot flash. I personally like the ice rope better because it is colder, but the neck fan is also incredibly helpful with circulating air around your face. I got mine off Temu because I had enough notice. However, Amazon has neck ropes and neck fans as well!
4. Grabber Claw: If you live alone, I feel like this is essential to have, especially within the first week of surgery. You may end up dropping some things during your time either because just being fatigued or just because it happens. Bending over is incredibly hard, and even bending at the knees hurts. A grabber will help you pick up anything that you may drop. I personally did not use one, but I can see why it would be beneficial.
5. Squatty Potty: I would recommend this even without surgery. I feel like having this will make your bowel movements so much easier. Especially with being on pain medication. Another way around this is to buy some yoga blocks to help elevate your legs to create the perfect angle for your bowels.
6. Menstrual Underwear/Panty Liners/Adult Diapers: I don’t feel like this one is as necessary unless you had a tough procedure, In which case, the doctor will likely tell you that it was a tough procedure. You will have some spotting after surgery, which is totally normal. How long it lasts depends on how well the procedure goes and how well you take care of yourself during recovery. I personally only have spotting for about twenty-four hours and then one time after that for very light spotting. I personally only used a panty liner, but I’ve heard a lot of women who said they did, and it was beneficial for them.
7. Throat Lozenges: After intubation through the breathing tube, you’re going to have irritation to your throat. It is important that you handle that either through the method of cough drops, throat lozenges, or tea. The feeling eventually goes away, but it will be a rough couple of days on top of your abdomen being in pain.
Overall
Recovery isn’t terrible for most patients, especially for those who do it through laparoscopic incisions. If they have made a long incision, recovery will take longer and be more difficult.
The first week is the most challenging. After the first week, things begin to settle and you start to feel semi-normal. By the end of week two, you feel more like yourself and want to challenge yourself to do more. Remember, you are still recovering. Despite how strong you may feel, it’s important to relax and recover.
Hysterectomy: 14 Days Post-op/2 Weeks Post-Op
I made it! 2 weeks post-op/14 days post-op!! God time flies! It feels like it was just days ago!
I literally feel like I could run a marathon! Don’t worry, I’m not. I’m still sitting on the couch or laying in bed most days.
Today was, by far, the best I’ve felt. It’s the most normal I’ve felt. For some reason, I’m so disgustingly happy. 😆 I feel so energized. I feel great, actually! I told a co-worker this is the most like “me” I’ve felt in 10+ years. I felt giddy, hyper, happy, and just optimistic. I haven’t felt that in ages!
But…
Two nights ago, I almost went to the ER. I was hit with incredible pain at 1:00 in the morning. I was in bed, fetal position, sweating, couldn’t straighten my legs, nauseous, bleeding, etc. I still don’t know what caused it. The following day I could barely walk. I had to use the walls and dressers to keep me up and support me. He did say some days would be bad, and it may be even months out when I get random pains until everything settles and heals. I just figured it was one of those moments. I didn’t get any clots and no bright red bleeding, so I just went with it and kept on pushing on.
Now for the sappy, vulnerable part.
It’s amazing how your body can change so fast and random. From a painful day to feeling brand new – quite literally. I’m so impressed by little things. My incisions externally are already scarring over. I never heal that easily and fast. I have a bug bite I got weeks before surgery still busting open and unhealed. Literally, it takes months for wounds to heal on my sometimes. For me to scar over in a matter of two weeks for my incisions is so impressive.
I am so proud of my body for what it’s been doing. I wish I could tell it how proud I’ve been of it. As cheesy as it sounds, from walking to using the bathroom to healing outer wounds… I’m beyond impressed at what it’s overcome and done to heal itself in two weeks. Certain things are still hard (lifting I’m not even attempting, sneezing is weird still, coughing is suspicious), but overall I’m so proud of my body.
I’ve learned a lot about myself in two weeks like taking for granted simple tasks like doing dishes, forcing myself to ask for help, or not realizing just how hard mentally it is for me NOT to be strong and independent. I realized I no longer know my “style” or what I “liked” to do. I bought new dresses but hated how they looked on me. But then I looked and thought, “This is definitely not my style, but what is?” I still don’t know, but I’ll figure it out one day. I realized I was watching shows more so for background noise than interest. When I started actually watching them, I was thinking, “This is terrible!” It’s amazing how one surgery can put so much into perspective.
That’s okay… in two weeks I’ll go back to my bad habits of not thinking about those things and overworking myself. 😆 When I’m working, I give 110% of myself to the job, and I literally have no time to discover things about myself or think/reflect outside my job. Yes, I know that’s unhealthy, but that’s just who I am. It’s hard to turn off your mind when you’re a teacher and responsible for so many kids and their future.
I don’t see much changing until my follow-up appointment in two weeks, so I’ll probably do my next update then. I did get the pathology report, but it’s all medical terms. As soon as I can sit down with the doctor face-to-face to discuss it, I’ll go over that more. Until then, we’ll keep it in the file!
Hysterectomy: Day 4 – Week 1 Post-Op
I made it one week! 5 more weeks to go, unless I’m cleared sooner! Time is flying, but also moving astonishingly slow!
Day By Day Breakdown
Day 4 was exceptional! If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought I was normal! I did some small things around the house and took a modest walk to help with the movement of the leftover gas inside. I could still feel it around my chest and rib cage. Other than that, day 4 was amazing! It was the first hopeful day I had!
Day 5 was arduous. I had such incredible pain and muscle spasms. I couldn’t tell what was normal, what was hurting, where it hurt, etc. It just hurt all over. However, my brother did come by to help with laundry, dishes, taking the trash out, etc. While he was here, I got to play with my niece. She’s almost 7 months old, and seeing her giggle made me smile. I needed it! I did end up emailing the doctor today to check if some things were normal. Apparently, they are. I cried several times today. I didn’t want to move at all. My body felt like a million knives were being stabbed into any given area at any given time. I ended up calling the doctor today because of how bad things were. I also ran out of pain medicine today, which didn’t help!
Day 6 was better. It was like a marriage of days 4 and 5. I was able to do a little bit around the house (dishes, pick up trash around the house, bring things to the outdoor trash can, etc.). I was proud to have only taken two lesser pain pills during the day – my doctor prescribed me a different kind. I’m trying not to take them for several reasons; however, if I need them, I will. I have no addiction in my background, but I don’t want to risk it. I know I also need to build up my pain tolerance, rebuild my muscles, and do more (not too much) without the medicine. I need some normality back in my life. Later in the day, my mom brought me out to dinner tonight. She drove, as I’m not cleared yet and don’t want to risk it. We had a good laugh at dinner that hurt my surgery site, but it was worth it!
Day 7, one week post-op, was a slightly smaller version of day 5. I slept an absurd amount. I kept having spasms, and everything just felt heavy. I tried to do some things around the house, but everything was so exhausting. I received a call that my new meds were ready, so I had my brother drive me to get them. I forgot my seat belt protector and the seat belt felt awful on my site. The spasms radiated through my back and legs. I would stop breathing at times to catch myself from cussing. As it lightened up, I would try to do focused breathing techniques. This was also the first day I didn’t have a single bowel movement. I hope tomorrow there is one, as I don’t want anything damaged from the swelling due to the lack of one. I hate talking about things that should be so private, but it’s a reality of the surgery.
Overall Assessment
Well, part of me was expecting a much harder recovery. I envisioned being in bed, crying nonstop, beginning for it to go away. Although I’ve had a few rough days, it’s gone fairly well. I find myself, at moments, being incredibly proud of my body. I’m impressed that I can go through such trauma and be doing as much as I am.
On the other hand, I’m incredibly frustrated. Doing this alone isn’t easy, especially mentally. When you’ve lived so long being independent, you feel hopeless when you can’t even do the dishes. Little tasks take so much effort and energy that you begin to fall into a dark spot mentally.
I’ve cried more in the last week than I did in the last year combined. On day 5, I cried five times within two hours. My emotions are all over the place. Very rarely have my tears been from pain. Most of my tears have been from the frustration of not being able to do things or see people. I hardly saw the outside in the seven days. It’s very isolating! I had a million people check on me, which made me feel good, but it wasn’t the same as seeing people, being able to walk to get your mail, handling laundry, etc. It’s sad when you get “proud” because you could stand the entire shower and not use a shower stool.
One thing for sure is this is a very humbling experience. It let me know how much I’ve taken for granted. It also lets me know I don’t give myself enough credit for what I do every day. I should be extremely grateful to be able to do some of my daily tasks. There are people in this world that can NEVER take the trash out, can NEVER do laundry, etc. It may not be fun to do, but I’m glad I can do it.
I’ll probably post weekly updates until I’m cleared, then go every few months. I’ve heard others have post-op concerns up to a year later.
The good feeling I have, though, is that not a single person I’ve talked to has regretted this decision, especially those with endometriosis and adenomyosis. As of now, I’m not regretting it. I’m looking forward to a life that I can live and function with minimal problems.
Hysterectomy: Day 2 & Day 3 Post-Op
Day 2 Update
Oui. That’s all I can really say. Being at home is much harder than having help in the hospital. Whether it’s making sure you stay on top of medicine or just getting up, life at home is hard – especially when you live alone.
My internal alarm clock has been doing a great job at waking up in time for medicine. I set alarms just in case I do sleep through it, which I haven’t yet. It’s a little rough waking up every two hours (about), but I’d rather stay on top of medicine than be in pain.
Binder… I took off my binder last night to “air out” my stomach. I started getting itchy and irritated where the Velcro hit. While I “aired out,” I alternated a heating pad and ice pack. Again, I didn’t feel much relief, but it was still helpful in some ways. I placed the binder back on for bed, as it’s recommended to help ease the movement of internal organs, and gas, and provide support to missing pieces. I woke up several times with the Velcro stabbing and irritating my skin. I took it off around 6:00 am this morning during one of my dosing times. I readjusted it on top of my clothes to see if it would help with the skin irritation. It does, but I can’t seem to get it as tight as I would want it to be. The nurses made it so tight. Maybe it’s because I was more swollen in the hospital than at home.
I also woke up several times itchy. I’m not sure what’s causing it. It’s all over my stomach, sides, and legs. I don’t think it’s a reaction to medicine, because I have it all the time. I have these little raised purple-red dots all over my abdomen. I’m trying not to scratch or touch them.
My brother was extremely helpful today. He went to the store for me for more water (the sports cap Ozarka is a life saver when stuck in bed), ice, real food, and Tylenol. Luckily, I can have solid food. I’m having bowel movements, so there’s no concern about being backed up.
For sleeping, I’ve been holding a pillow to 1) ensure my sweet kitties stay away from my surgery spot and 2) in case I need to sneeze, cough, clear my throat, etc. I’ve also been sleeping with one between my legs (I’m a side sleeper). I underestimated how much this would help. I may not get rid of this when recovery is over!
I still have incredibly painful gas build-up inside of me. Even with passing gas, I feel the movement of gas in me. It is insanely uncomfortable. It is especially so because of the fact that I can’t just “push” like normal. I have to be careful about the pressures I induce on my surgical site. Because of that, I’ve been moving and trying to find other ways to release the gas. Most women who have the surgery complain about the gas being in their shoulders and such. Mine has been all abdominal. I had one day where it was trapped under my rib cage, but that dissipated quickly. I guess that’s why they emphasize that every surgery is different because every body is different.
Speaking of different, I started sweating last night. I can normally tolerate my ac at around 74 degrees. However, my ac was on 68, and I was sweating. I’m not sure if that’s due to the hot flashes and hormonal changes, the pain meds, or something unrelated. The doctor told me the symptoms of menopause could show up in days or not for months. I guess time will tell! I’m off to take some more meds and take another nap until someone can swing by to help a little.
I showered. It wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t miserable. It definitely felt uncomfortable and difficult with lifting arms. I’m glad I got the shower, though. It didn’t really help with the itchiness, but it did make me feel cleaner. I have a massive fear of infection, so I want to make sure I am as clean as possible. I barely scrubbed though, as I was in pain. However, I made sure to focus on the abdomen area getting clean.
I stayed awake most of the day, surprisingly. I alternated between a recliner, the couch, and walking. My boredom is definitely getting the best of me. I also alternated between ice and heat. Heat feels way better than ice, but they’re both really helpful.
Day 3 Update
I woke up with some pretty rough pain this morning. I don’t know if I “overdid” it yesterday or if it’s normal to be back and forth in pain. After a couple hours, I felt much better though. Part of me thinks it’s just the “tightness” of first waking up (like being awake awake).
I’m still on all pain meds, and I’m still taking them on schedule. I’m honestly a bit worried about when I run out of pain meds. I’ve been very fortunate in not having the side effects of pain meds (like constipation). I also know I can’t live on pain meds forever. Aside from that, I honestly hate taking medicine unless I absolutely have to.
I had a lot more sweats today. Again, I’m not sure if it’s related to the medicine or if it’s a sign of hot flashes. It could be the heating pad, too. It prompted me to buy a cooling blanket, a fan, and an ice neck thing. I figured, either way, I’m going to get hot flashes eventually and could use all items!
I took a good, deep shower today that included washing my hair. Since I felt like I could almost stand straight, I thought it would be a good time to wash the gross hair. I’m at about 94% straight when I stand. I had to sit a few times during the shower because standing for long periods is exhausting.
I have a lot of bloating, soreness, and tenderness. It still feels incredibly heavy (like a ton of bricks trying to fall out of me). Despite that, I didn’t wear my binder today. I thought maybe it was causing the reaction in my abdomen. I also know I need to work on rebuilding those muscles. I’ll probably wear it later just to help compress some of the internal organs into place.
Internally though, I feel so much energy. I was on the couch thinking about how I wanted to do a full workout. I know better. I’m not going to do it for several reasons, but I just found it interesting that I’m so energized this soon in my recovery. At the same time, I’m completely exhausted. I sleep a lot. Simple things like standing to make food or a drink take so much energy. It’s weird how the body can switch so quickly between tiredness and energetic.
One thing I noticed about myself is I am EATING. I can’t seem to keep my hands off of food. I don’t know what is causing it (pain meds maybe, body needing recovery energy, etc.). It’s weird, and I don’t like it. I’m not even getting sick from overeating. I don’t have to be hungry to want to eat. I don’t like the feeling, especially as someone who lost so much weight in the last 15 months. I almost have a fear of gaining it all back. I’m already bloated from the surgery, so this just freaks me out a bit more. It should be the last thing on my mind, but it’s a reality in my head.
My goal for tomorrow is to get out and walk in the morning outside. It’s so hot in Texas, but I need to work on working on other grounds. I live on a rocky road, so this will help me with making sure I’m not overconfident in my ability to walk around my house. It’s easy to walk around the same flooring all day, ever day once you are used to it. I just have to make sure I stay close to my house (maybe back and forth on my driveway and street). I also need to work on standing longer periods of time. Today really took a lot out of me just to stand. I’ll likely wear my binder tomorrow to help with not feeling so overwhelmed with my body doing those things.
I do have a follow-up hospital discharge appointment tomorrow. Because the doctor does not want me to drive, I did ask to switch to a virtual/telehealth visit. Luckily, they agreed.
I took some photos of my incisions. They look great! One of them is about an inch long, another is about inches long, and the last is in my belly button and I have no idea how big it is. I’m bruised in the area (expected). I have some redness by the bigger incision, but nothing that’s concerning.
I’m so ready to be healed. I’m ready to see how different I’ll feel. I’m ready to see if I’ll maintain the energy. I’m ready to see if I’ll be pain-free, truly. I’m ready for everything. I just have so much to look forward to. Every day that I feel better is a day I get excited about the future.
Hysterectomy: Day 1 Post-Op
Sleeping in a hospital is awful. You constantly get woken up. You hear a ton of noises that wake you. You’re uncomfortable both from surgery and the general environment. I spent much of my night taking 1.5 power naps with about 40 minutes of wake time between them.
At 2:45 a.m., they came to draw blood. I was luckily awake during that time, so my sleep wasn’t interrupted. I dozed in and out again until about 6:30 am.
Nutrition brought me breakfast (French toast, scrambled eggs, raisin bran, milk, coffee, and orange juice). I agree with just about everything except the coffee and some of the eggs. Hospital food is extremely bland, so it’s almost miserable to eat it. Believe it or not, it’s worse than school lunches! But hey… food is food. There are so many people without food. I’m just grateful I can eat, and I can eat solid food.
I was having bad pains this morning. Two types of pain: pressure (from the gas) and my insides (surgery). I knew I had to pass gas and/or have a bowel movement. Again, I normally wouldn’t talk about this, but it’s important to hear from those who go through it.
I tried to pass gas, and it took so long to get one out. I didn’t want to push too hard for fear of hurting something. After about 20 minutes of on-and-off slight pushing, I finally passed a little gas. It didn’t relieve the pressure, but I knew I was on the right track.
The doctor and nurse came in to check on me and give me more meds. The doctor ran me through some external photos of the uterus, ovaries, and tubes. He said pathology is “fileting” the inside to inspect and take pics. They said I was a perfect surgeon. Absolutely no complications and it was one of the easiest he’s done. He and the nurse said I was doing incredibly well. They said my pain tolerance has been great, and my ability to move has been astounding. I told them I definitely don’t feel like I’m doing well, but they assured me I’m doing really great. The doctor stated I’d be discharged.
The nurse followed up with my meds but was concerned about me going home. Due to my condition, lack of bowel movement, and no PT (physical therapy), she wanted to fight for me to stay another night. I told her I’m good either way. I appreciated her speaking up for me, but I could go either way. She told me she’d get back to me when she brought me my next set of pain meds.
I, again, lay in bed scrolling on my phone, typing this up, when I started to get red, hot, and itchy. I wasn’t sure if I was having an allergic reaction or if it was just my body reacting to the pain and pressure. I called the nurse just to let her look, as I figured they would have a better idea. The itchiness spread to my chest and arms but stopped there. It made me a bit more nervous about going home, alone.
As I waited for answers and Benadryl, the pressure of the gas was hurting so bad. I finally tried to bring my knees to my chest (I didn’t make it… but I did make them come up a bit). Within seconds, I passed gas. This one was huge. Again, I hate talking about this, but it’s important to know for those going through it. I was quite embarrassed, but I knew this needed to happen and knew more would happen. It felt like an overfilled balloon finally popped. Though I still had immense pressure, I was finally in a semi-comfortable spot. Within another two minutes, I passed gas again. This cycle continued about four times. Despite my embarrassment, I was so relieved. I could feel the pressure getting lighter. In my mind, I just kept hoping I got a bowel movement, too, but I’ll take the gas for now.
After the final passing of gas, I relaxed a bit. I watched some videos that made me laugh, which hurt so much. I tried to stop myself from laughing, but it was hard. I knew I needed the humor, too.
The nurse later came back and said what was happening was not a medicinal reaction. If it were, I would’ve shown signs with the previous dosing. That made me feel better.
Lunch was brought to me, and that was probably the most flavorful meal I’ve had since being here. I actually ate 90% of it. However, as I was eating, I started sweating uncontrollably. I was wondering if it was a hot flash, but then I felt my stomach rumble. I got excited and nervous. I ran to the bathroom. At first, I just had a lot of small gas. I was getting my hopes up. I knew I didn’t want to push, based on our earlier conversation. I “pushed” normally and only got gas. So I washed my hands and left. Immediately exiting the door, I felt a rumble and pressure on my rectum. I knew 100% that I was about to have a bowel movement. I walked back as fast as I could. I sat down. Again, nothing was happening. At this point, I was getting frustrated. I was sweating because of the bowel movement that wasn’t coming. I knew I couldn’t push either, but I was so desperate to get out. I sat there for what felt like an eternity, and I felt it move. With the slightest push, it finally came. It wasn’t easy, but it happened. I may have pushed a little too hard, as I saw some blood from my surgical site. I informed the nurse, and she told me that was normal. As long as I’m not straining, it’s okay to push a little.
After leaving the bathroom, round 2 hit. I couldn’t believe it. Literally, within 30 seconds, I needed to go again. Part of me was incredibly excited knowing I needed this. The other part of me was nervous about all the pressure I’d be putting on my surgical site. I let the nurse know again, and she said it’ll feel uncomfortable, and I’ll likely have bleeding or spotting for a few weeks. As long as it’s moving, that’s what’s important.
I only had about an hour left before I would be discharged. Again, part of me was excited to finally be on my way, to sleep in my own bed, to actually sleep, and to be by my babies. The other part of me was nervous about how I was going to manage on my own, especially showering. I won’t attempt that until later, though. I’m worried about how much pressure is too much pressure when pushing. I’m terrified of messing something up. She assured me she would go over all that before I leave.
At about 1:00 p.m., I was discharged. I was transported via wheelchair to the car lane. We immediately got my medications filled and went home. I felt some leakage from the surgery, so I was glad to be home to clean up. They said it’ll be normal to spot over the next couple of weeks.
Once home, I sat in the recliner to just sit. It felt good and crowded at the same time. I finally got up to take some of my meds and prep for a nap. I felt myself dozing off as I was trying to watch a show. I knew it was time. Sure enough, I slept a good 2 hours straight. Something I didn’t do at the hospital.
Waking up was a bit hard. Getting out of bed with no rails or support to pull up. It’ll be an adjustment, for sure. Once I was up, I took some more meds and placed an ice pack on me. I was so glad to have an ice pack that actually stays frozen. The ones at the hospital lasted maybe 10 minutes.
As the night winds down, my gas is building back up. I made a trip to our community mailbox and back (maybe 500 feet walk). It was incredibly difficult, but I knew walking would help rebuild some muscle and help move those gasses around.
I wrapped the night up with my pain medicine and anti-inflammatory. I have my alarms set throughout the day and night to keep me on track for medications. I’m not looking forward to waking up all the time, but if it means being in less pain, I’ll do what I have to do.
Hysterectomy: Backstory (Endometriosis, Adenomyosis, PCOS) & Surgery Day
I wanted to journal my experience with a full/radical hysterectomy as a 38 year-old childless woman.
I’ll try to make this as short and sweet without a ton of details. If you’re interested in more of a background or more detailed information, feel free to reach out to me.
The Decision
Since I was a teen, I’ve battled heavy periods. I ended up in the emergency room several times as a teen with excruciating pain every month. After trying birth control for a while, I finally saw someone else about the issue that was more trained on period pains. Through ultrasounds, they discovered I had cysts and believed I had endometriosis. The doctor put me on Lupron Depot to induce menopause to see if it would help with pains. It was a definite awful moment in my life. It worked, but it was only temporary.
After six months, the relief from pain was back. At that point, the doctor decided to give me a laparoscopy to determine if I had endometriosis. After a long surgery, it was determined I had a pretty severe case of endometriosis. Everything was removed, but it was told to me it’d come back. He said, at some point, I would need to consider a hysterectomy.
Fast forwards 12 years, the surgery in combination to long-term birth control, my endometriosis was pretty controlled, along with my PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). In November 2022, I began to have several breakthrough bleedings. By January, I was in the emergency department again. I was unable to stand straight due to pain. I was given fentanyl, and I was still feeling pain. In April, I was back in the emergency department for the same issue, but this time given morphine. In between those months, they discovered I had several fibroids and signs of adenomyosis. After seeing several doctors, it was recommended by many to have a hysterectomy. I had been preparing for this for years.
As a 38 year old woman, with no kids, it’s not an easy decision to make. I definitely took my time thinking about it. I finally was scheduled for June 23rd, 2023.
Second Thoughts
I have always had anxiety. Leading up to the surgery, I almost canceled a few times out of fear. Fear of pain. Fear of recovery. Fear of death (extreme, I know, but possible). What if it doesn’t take away my pain? What if something goes wrong? Am I making the right choice? Will they not find anything?
Thankfully, I attend therapy anyway for other topics, but we had a conversation about the surgery. It really helped to remind myself of why I was having it done. No one needs to live in chronic pain or on medication for their life to mask chronic pain. Anxiety over surgery is natural. It would be more worrisome to not be anxious about a major surgery.
As I arrived at the hospital, I cried. I cried from fear. I cried from the unknown. I cried at the loss of a big piece of me. I was immediately brought back into surgery to prep. My nurses were absolutely amazing and calming. I can’t thank them enough for their jokes and calming personalities. I can’t thank them enough for making me feel comfortable and supported.
Before I knew it, I was out. I barely confirmed my name and birth date before I was out. But then, I woke up. When I woke up, all hell broke loose.
Surgery Day
I woke up from anesthesia with excruciating pain. I was thrashing around in the bed, crying, and screaming. “It hurts so bad! Oh my God, it hurts!” I’ve had a laparoscopy before, but this was much more painful than every before.
I was almost immediately surrounded by nurses to make sure I was okay. They filled my IV with pain meds. Despite waiting and waiting, the pain never disappeared. I continued to cover around with tears flowing from my eyes, waiting to feel nothing.
At that point, anesthesia came back and gave me a TAP (Trans Abdominal Plane) Block shot. It’s similar to an epidural, but in the front. Apparently, they have me it in the OR as well when I was out. It’s meant to completely numb the area for pain. Getting it in was rough. They needed an ultrasound. Worst of all, I swear I squeezed the nurses hand strong enough to break it. I felt bad after, but she was incredibly understanding and supportive.
I was in PACU (post-anesthesia care unit) from about 9:30 a.m. to about 3:00 p.m. I can not compliment that nurse enough. She was absolutely amazing at everything!
Now, most people go home the same day for a hysterectomy. However, due to my background, they recommended I stay. I obliged, as I had my own concerns. I honestly think it was the best decision for me, too, stay overnight.
So about 3:00 p.m., they moved me to an observation room.
Immediately, they made me walk. Normally, I wouldn’t talk bathroom talk. However, I think it’s important to have this conversation for those considering a hysterectomy. So prior to moving beds, I knew I needed to figure it out.
Prior to surgery, I mentioned that I needed to pee. They told me “not to worry” because I would have a catheter. Apparently, they drained 1,000 CCs from me, which is about 33 fluid ounces. Thank you, teacher bladder!!
After surgery, while in the PACU, they placed a Purewick system on me. Basically, you pee yourself, and the machine vacuums it up immediately upon sensing liquid. My first pee after surgery was horrific. It was as if someone poured gasoline on me and set it on fire. The amount of effort in that first pee was exhausting. It was incredibly embarrassing, too. Who urinates on themselves? Regardless if a machine collects it, it’s degrading. I HATED it, but it did save me from having to get out of bed.
So apparently, I had quite a bit of dark color. It wasn’t really concerning, apparently.
For those unfamiliar, a Purewick system looks like a thin pad that sits between the labia. When you pee, it auto detects it, goes into a tube, and gets vacuumed.
I swear I have a purpose to this story.
After moving to my observation room, I had to pee again. It was hurting so badly with the pressure. So once I got into the room, and before they helped me into the new bed, I told them I needed to urinate.
They made me walk to the bathroom. That sounds so lazy, but it’s hard to understand unless you’ve been there. They told me they were taking away the Purewick system to encourage movement.
I wanted to be violent towards them for that. It felt like I had two cinderblocks attached to my non-existent uterus. It was absolutely horrible. I didn’t realize how hard walking, standing up, peeing, and even turning was. I can’t imagine what women with C-sections go through. I have a whole new respect for them, for sure.
But I did it with lots of help. Again, it took a while for the urine to finally come out. It burned again, but not as bad as the first time. It was ridiculous how much I peed. I swear I peed for about two minutes straight. Even the nurses were like, “Oh my… you really did hold it.” I told them, “Thank you, teacher bladder…” Those that know, know. They laughed. Humor is good medicine.
When I stood up with help, I saw a ton of blood. I was mortified, but I was also not surprised. Before I could address the concern, they told me it was “normal,” so I let it go.
Getting back in bed was another battle. Again, I didn’t realize what muscles I now couldn’t use to their full ability until I had to use them.
Once I got into bed, I started my clear diet: chicken broth, popsicle, and cranberry juice. I want excited for it, but I understood their decisions (wanting to tolerate food after anesthesia, preparing if something happens, etc.). I finished the meal and dozed in and out of sleep for a bit.
I woke up with a ridiculous pressure to urinate, AGAIN! Between the IV drip and me drinking, I just knew today should’ve been renamed to Urination Day. I don’t think I’ve ever peed so much before in my life. It was horrifying and oddly good. This round didn’t hurt at all. It was completely clear. No blood at all! I had hope!
I went back to bed and dozed in and out of sleep, scrolling on my phone, etc. That was until the nurse director came in. She wanted to check to see how the nurses were doing and making sure they informed me of everything. I let her know that these were the best set of nurses I’ve ever had and reassured her that everything was good. I brought up some concerns (Chapstick, ice/heat packs, Gas X, etc.). She handled each one almost immediately.
After she left, I scrolled through my phone, updating people, watching videos, etc. Eventually, I fell asleep for a little bit. The rest of the night went pretty well. My mom stayed either me until about 6:30 pm. I did as much walking as I could and used the bathroom as much as I could. I still haven’t had a bowel movement, which is a little worrisome. But the doctor said it’ll be like that, and I shouldn’t worry until I hit a week. Although, I’m not sure I could go a week without a bowel movement.
After a long day, I dozed in and out of sleep through the rest of the night. Sleeping in a hospital is no fun.
Tips for Washington, D.C.
After spending several days in Washington, D.C., I have a few tips for people who are considering the trip.
Do Not Rent A Car, Instead Buy A Metro Pass
Unless you plan to travel outside of Washington, D.C. (Jamestown, Philadelphia, etc.). I do not recommend renting a car. Aside from the price to rent a car, the cost of parking is extremely high. Parking is extremely limited within the city, so finding a spot is more of a hassle than just walking.
I highly recommend buying an unlimited Metro pass. I used the 7-day unlimited pass. It made traveling around the city and surrounding areas easy to use. It likely saved me a good $100. The metro is easy to use and understand. They also have an app that you can download temporarily to help navigate around town. Using Google Maps also helps you find the closest Metro stations.
Stay Outside the City
To save money, especially if staying over several days, I recommend staying outside the city center. Places like Herndon and Reston are close to the airport and close to the Metro. You can find hotels with shuttle service to save money or you can take the Metro from the airport to the hotel. Staying outside of Washington, D.C. will save you hundreds of dollars. Yes, the metro takes a bit of time to get from point A to point B, but if planned right it is worth the distance.
Do Not Use Capital Bikeshare
Although the concept behind it is nice, it is more of a hassle than helpful. I bought the unlimited pass. It is misleading. You can only ride unlimited for 45 minutes at a time. It takes you almost 45 minutes to get anywhere with the mass amounts of crowds in the city. By the time you check out the bike, go to a couple places, and come back, you’re well into your day. I was charged over $20 on top of the $8 unlimited pass. They charge you by the minute. It is a ripoff, especially if you’re just trying to explore and enjoy your time. Instead, I recommend either planning your trip with walking and Metro in mind or using an Uber in extreme cases. Uber rides aren’t that expensive. I would still only recommend those for going across the city (i.e. Library of Congress to Washington Monument).
Tickets in Advance
I recommend purchasing as many tickets to events in advance as possible (i.e. Holocaust Museum, Washington Monument). I recommend waking up early to ensure you have an opportunity to visit some of these limited opportunities.
I would also get tickets to the Capitol and try for a White House Tour well in advance for your trip. If you reach out to your local representatives, they do a great job at preparing you for the trip. Although I wasn’t able to visit The White House on this trip, due to Memorial Day weekend and the debt ceiling debate, others are lucky in being able to tour it.
Plan Accordingly – Not Everything Is Close; Holidays Are Tough
I grossly underestimated the traffic of people on Memorial Day weekend. I know if I would’ve attended another weekend, it may not have been so crowded. Granted, I experienced once-in-a-lifetime opportunities while there (Tomb of the Unknown Soldier Flower Laying, Parades, etc.), but it threw a wrench in my timing of events. Because of this, I ended up not seeing as many things as I had planned.
I also recommend planning things close to each other. I underestimated how big the city was. There is no way to walk around the entire city to see everything in one day, much less several days. I walked, on average, 9 miles a day and I still wasn’t able to see everything in three days. Pick the events, monuments, memorials, and sites that mean the most to you and plan around those first.
Prepare for Weather
I made the mistake of packing the light with only one pair of shoes. I recommend sneakers, but I recommend bringing at least two pair. Although I knew rain was a possibility, I didn’t expect a downpour. I would bring a purse sized umbrella just in case and have a plan of where to go if it does rain. I enjoyed the moment and lived in the moment. I accepted my fate in being poured on. It’s not an experience for everyone though.
Hydrate
You will do so much walking that you may forget to hydrate. Although street vendors are all over left and right trying to sell you water, they are expensive. I would carry some water with you to ensure you do not get dehydrated from the amount of walking you will do. On some days, it will be extremely humid too with the moisture from the river. You don’t want to get ripped off by someone selling a $1 bottle of water for $6.
Journey to Washington, D.C. – Day 4 (Jamestown Settlement, Historic Jamestowne, Colonial Williamsburg)
This would be my final day in the Washington, D.C. area. One of the reasons I wanted to visit this city so bad was to see the actual historical context of people who lived during those times. In doing so, I knew I had to visit Colonial Williamsburg and Jamestown. In order to do that, I had to rent a car! It was the only time I would drive a car while on this trip!
Jamestown Settlement
My first stop would be Jamestown Settlement. This was first on my list because it represented the period in which people lived the most accurately through replication.
I paid for several site passes ($119). Although I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this, it worked for me. As a teacher, I wanted to bring back as much information as I could into my classes or my peers’ classes.
Walking in, they did a fabulous job with the replication of the buildings, jobs, and boats of the time. Everything was sized to the period. They dressed in the period of the 1600s and 1700s. They were extremely informative and included many hands-on activities.
Historic Jamestowne
Historic Jamestowne is the actual town in which settlement occurred. This was probably the best visit to date. Although much of the history is torn down, broken down, etc., archeologists were there digging and finding new artifacts. We were able to walk through original graves, original churches, homes, etc. It felt very surreal walking the same grounds as those from history books knowing the struggles they had during that period.














Colonial Williamsburg
Colonial Williamsburg was probably one of the sites I was most excited about seeing, but it ended up being the most disappointing part of my visit. It was so disappointing that I left after just a couple sites. I do not recommend this site at all, which is why I do not recommend the big expensive site pass.
When I visit places like this, I expect to see history. When I arrived, they stated this was a real town built around a historical town. They supposedly had a ton of historical elements within the town. As I walked around though, almost nothing was historical. What was historical was replicated and not original. It was a bunch of people playing dress up while regurgitating information we learned in history class. I wanted to see artifacts. I wanted to see historical markers. Instead, I saw modern cars driving through town, hotels, and other modern things that took away from the love of history.







Overall, it was a nice visit, but I wouldn’t say Washington, D.C. was my favorite visit. Follow up for another posting for some reviews or tips if you plan to visit!
Journey to Washington, D.C. – Day 3 (City Center – Supreme Court, Capitol Building, Smithsonian, Holocaust Museum, and Library of Congress)
I knew this was going to be my last day in the city. I had one more long trip I wanted to take before I left the area, so I had to make sure I made the most of my time in D.C. today. Yesterday was completely exhausting, but I was going to make use of every moment and opportunity.
Supreme Court
My first stop was to see the Supreme Court. Unfortunately, they were closed to the public the day I went (Memorial Day), but I was glad to have seen it in person. One of my dreams growing up was to be a lawyer. I made the mistake of talking myself out of it. I regret it quite often, but I also believe everything happens for a reason. The Supreme Court always held a special place in my heart – not only because of my dreams, but also because of the things fought in that building and on those steps.




Capitol Building
With the help of Representative John Carter, I was able to schedule a tour of the Capitol Building. I didn’t realize how big the building was until I arrived there. I stood there in awe thinking about how this was built way back, burned down, and built again with minimum tools. The details of the building respected past and present history.
One of the coolest facts I learned while here is that they built a Tomb for George Washington at the very bottom of the capitol. In the center of the Capitol Building, there is a compass that indicates a straight shot to where his tomb would be. It is sectioned off on each floor to ensure no one disrupts or disrespects the idea behind it. However, due to Washington’s Mount Vernon Tomb and the family’s wishes, they kept him at his home on Mount Vernon.
Another interesting piece of information I learned had to deal with the rotunda. Around the rotunda, there is an art piece that is a timeline of American history. It dates back the Christopher Columbus to modern day Space Exploration. It was interesting to see how they tied all pieces of history together to show the growth of our country.






Smithsonian Museum of Natural History
I missed my chance at the Holocaust Museum, so I made my way to the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. I’m not big on fossils, gems, minerals, etc., but I figured – why not?
The part I spent the most amount of time it was the jewels. There was such a beautiful display of jewels from all around the world, gifted to famous U.S. Diplomats.
Holocaust Museum
Though I missed my first opportunity, I did make my second opportunity for visiting the Holocaust Museum.
I was given a card of a special person who was involved in the Holocaust. My person was a survivor, but we know that was rare. As we made our way through the museum, I learned things I didn’t know previously. I knew Hitler was evil and the period was dreadful for Jews, but this museum really opened my eyes to much more. They had a lot of artifacts to show just how bad things were in the period. It walked us through how they brainwashed the country into believing the propaganda.
It took days to get tickets for this, but I highly recommend going.








Washington Monument
Another place I recommend getting tickets to is the Washington Monument. Again, it took a couple days to score tickets, but I’m grateful I did!
We took a ride up 500+ feet to the top of the Washington Monument. Just like a plane, you felt the pressure change. I had to pop my ears at least twice on the way up. It had stunning views of the entire city of Washington, D.C. It put into perspective just how small we really are.
















Library of Congress
My final pit stop was the Library of Congress. I signed up for a tour. I’m glad I did. The columns honored famous authors like Longfellow, Scott, Gibbon, and more. As a teacher who teaches reading and writing, I was in awe of the building. I came at the perfect time to visit the Reading Room as well, which is a rare opportunity.
I thoroughly enjoyed my time in Washington, D.C. I learned a lot and lived through moments that I normally wouldn’t have had the chance to. My appreciation for art and architecture grew tremendously after visiting most of these places. Although I didn’t get to see everything, I experienced a lot.
Journey to Washington, D.C. – Day 2 (City Center – Museums, Monuments, and Memorials)
After an emotional first day, I was looking forward to an exciting touristy day 2. Little did I know this would be the most interesting and enjoyable day yet!
Smithsonian
I knew I had to start at the Smithsonian Museums. As a teacher, I use their resources all the time in class. I didn’t realize they had so many museums until I came to Washington, D.C. Luckily, they are all situated near each other, and easy to access them all. Despite that, I wasn’t able to access them all in my short time, so I had to prioritize.
I boarded the metro for another long travel into the city. Upon arriving, I walked through the streets and took pictures of other well-known monuments (i.e. Washington Monument). I saw other tourists taking photos and offered a helping hand in taking family photos. They were grateful and almost shocked that I was willing to do that for them.
I started at the Smithsonian National Museum of American History. I wasn’t sure what really to expect, other than history. Surprisingly, it included everything history-related – not just war history.
One of the first displays that stood out to me was the Greensboro Four display. They had part of the counter and chairs from the diner that made history. Just outside of the display, the museum included chairs for visitors to watch a short documentary on the Greensboro Four. These four gentlemen do not receive enough credit for their bravery that day.
As I walked through the displays and rooms, I saw exhibits from old American education. The chairs and desks were so incredibly tiny. The outfits were traditional dress codes of white and blue with girls wearing modest dresses, even in the arms.
They brought an actual home into the museum from the 1600s. You were able to see the architecture of the time, and it included an interactive family having tea of the time. It told the story of six families living in one home. I’m not sure if I could handle housing another family in my small home. Next to the home, they included a bucket of water that would have been the weight of the time. I didn’t realize just how heavy these buckets were for people to carry back and forth to the home for cooking, bathing, washing clothes, etc. They included a laundry wringer as well. I thought I was strong until I started twisting the wringer.
I made my way to the entertainment portion of the museum. I saw Dorothy’s red slippers. They were on display behind a locked enclosure, but they had a second pair, copper in color, for patrons to feel. I couldn’t believe just how heavy these shoes were and made of metal! The entertainment portion continued with original dolls from The Muppets, Mr. Rodgers, Sesame Street, and more. It was very nostalgic and made me sad that I was a grown adult. It made me sad to realize many of today’s kids didn’t have such great influences as we had them.

I remember reading the COVID mask was brought into the Smithsonian Museum. I remember at the time laughing about it and thinking it was crazy. Sure enough… the mask was there in the Smithsonian Museum.
The Nintendo, old video recorders, old microphones, Nokia phones, pagers, and more were also in the Smithsonian Museum. I immediately felt old. I felt like I was ancient as I watched kids walk around asking questions about things that were popular from my childhood.
The coolest part of the Smithsonian Museum I saw was The First Ladies display. I’m not one for fashion, but I was 100% intrigued by the fashion of the times. One thing I realized was how tiny women were in the 1700s. They were both extremely short and extremely skinny. You can see the way fashion progresses through time in size and design. Long modest clothing (length and arms) became off-the-shoulder, sheer, and closer to the body.
After attending the Smithsonian, I wanted to explore the city for monuments more. I knew I had future days to see other Smithsonian Museums.
Monuments Galore
I rented a Capital Bike to travel around town. I definitely don’t recommend these, but I’ll get into that later. I knew that much walking would kill my back though, so I took the chance at the suggestion of someone else.
The White House
My first stop would be The White House. I grabbed a bike and tried to find my way to the most famous building in our country. Like the previous day, I realized many streets were blocked off. I noticed a lot of dark vehicles with dark-tinted windows. My only assumption would be that it was the Secret Service. Another interesting thing about Washington, D.C. is that there are metal barriers all over the city – even for flowerbeds and trees.
After fighting with Google Maps for several minutes about making it to The White House, I finally found my way there. It included a tumble on my electric bike. It left me with a pretty nasty injury and bruise that led me to limp the rest of the day and the next day. I finally got to the gates of The White House. I always see these amazing photos of the place, but couldn’t figure out how people got them. There was an incredible amount of security around The White House. I was even afraid to put my arm through the metal gates to get a clear photo of the famous building. I did it though! It was absolutely stunning!

Thomas Jefferson Memorial
My next stop would be the Thomas Jefferson Memorial. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a place I could get up close and inside of. Because I didn’t have a lock on my bike, and I couldn’t park it anywhere in particular, I had to just take photos from a distance. Its location is absolutely stunning as it overlooks a beautiful body of water. The building was undergoing restoration, so parts of it were closed off as well.


At about this time, the weather started to become extremely humid. I noticed the cloud coverage was getting darker, and a few drops of drizzle was falling. I didn’t prepare for heavy rain. I had a raincoat, but that was about it.
Franklin D. Roosevelt Memorial
My next stop was the Franklin D. Roosevelt Memorial. This one wasn’t what I expected at all. It was a huge park of stone structures and waterfalls honoring Roosevelt, his family, and his causes. Another beautifully designed memorial. The stones were covered in famous quotes, pictures, and statues of things related to Roosevelt.
Midway through the memorial, it started pouring rain. At this point, I just had to embrace it. It was such a moment though. I sat in the rain, taking pictures and enjoying the moment of being in the pouring rain and seeing history. It made me think that we, as humans, need to dance in the rain more often. It was so childlike to be poured on. The only downside is my pants were soaked. Nothing is worse than jeans soaked in the rain!



Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial
I wasn’t going to let the rain stop me. I continued my trek through the city to the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial. Walking in between the two rocks, I noticed a huge statue. It was one of the biggest statues I’ve ever seen in my life. On the side of the statue sat a famous quote from MLK Jr., “Out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope.” It made sense why they chose stone to represent MLK Jr.
When you looked at the statue from another angle, the three stones (the two you walk into and his) are connected into one major stone. It made me look up some more information about the design behind it. The thought process behind this memorial was moving.


World War II Memorial
My next stop would be the World War II Memorial. By now, the rain had let up a little bit, but I was still drenched head to toe. Arriving at the WWII Memorial gave me a chance to sit and recover. The sun was peaking in and out. I watched people admire the memorial. I was in awe at the amount of respect and dedication put into this memorial. It was an absolutely stunning and moving memorial. Several people came to honor those who served.
It was perfectly placed within the National Mall. You were able to see beautiful views of the Lincoln Memorial, Washington Monument, Capitol Building, and more. About that time, it began to pour rain again. I sat in the middle of the National Mall, behind the WWII Memorial and by the Reflecting Pool, and just smiled. I looked at the sky and admired the moment of being able to experience this blessing.
Other Memorials
I saw some of the smaller memorials that were placed within the National Mall.
The Vietnam Women’s Memorial was on the edge of the National Mall. A small, but honorable, statue showed appreciation to the women who served during this war.
The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was probably the most moving. As I walked by, I saw a line of people laying flowers along the memorial honoring those who served. The wall includes a list of names of people who were lost during this tragic war.
Band Parade
By the end of the National Mall, I was a bit exhausted. I was heading back to return my bike when I was stopped by blocked-of streets again. I heard music earlier but didn’t think much of it. As I made my way to the sidewalk, I realized high school bands were performing for the Memorial Day parade. They had color guards involved. In between the bands they included military veterans. It was actually pretty cool to see the parade honoring those who served. As the parade ran, it rained on and off. I had to give major props to the kids who stuck out in the rain! This explained the mass amount of schools I saw the previous day as well!
Back to the Hotel
I made my way back to the hotel to wrap up for the night. I needed the best shower of my life, but more so I needed to get my soaked clothes off my body. The metro was packed with people, and I happened to be one of the few soaked. I felt bad trying to sit next to someone, but I just needed to sit.
I decided I’d do laundry. I definitely had to dry my sneakers because they were soaking wet. I didn’t pack well in the sense of extra shoes. I was trying to pack light, but I kind of regretted it at that moment. I threw my shoes in the dryer, ordered DoorDash, and finished laundry. I slept probably the best I’ve slept in ages.
Journey to Washington, D.C. – Official Day 1 (Arlington National Cemetery, Lincoln Memorial, Mount Vernon)
Arlington National Cometary & Mount Vernon
I woke up incredibly excited! I thought I would start at Arlington National Cemetery because it was “out of the way” from Washington, D.C. City Central. I 100% knew I wanted to visit the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. I always heard stories of how emotional it would be, how they did an amazing job honoring those soldiers and just the beauty of the cemetery.
I walked to the Metro early in the morning. I was a bit iffy because it was a longer walk than I expected. It wasn’t terrible though. I arrived at the Metro and followed the signs for the train. It was pretty easy to navigate. When I arrived, I wasn’t quite sure how to use it though. I purchased a 7-day unlimited Metro Pass that is directly connected to my phone. Luckily, there was a nice gentleman there who helped show me how to guide me to the train, and explain how they worked. After that first encounter, I felt like a natural resident.
The little kid in me was giddy with excitement when I boarded the train. The last train I took was in New York City over 15 years ago with my dad. I was too young at the time to know how it worked. Before that, it was in Germany. Again, I was too young to appreciate how it worked or the beauty of a train. As I sat down, I looked out the window and took photos of the cities and the actual train itself. I’m glad I went early because not many people were there. I would have been the dictionary definition of a tourist at that moment.
I arrived at Arlington National Metro. I wasn’t sure where to go but luckily found a couple of people to guide me. Again, walking, walking, walking nonstop. I think I grossly underestimated my use of walking on this trip. I arrived at Arlington National Cemetery. The outside was filled with military memorabilia. My dad was a former military, and they had a big statue to honor that division. I got a little emotional before even entering knowing my dad passed away and he was a part of history, even if it was in the smallest way. As I approached the visitor check-in, I noticed an insane amount of people. I knew it would be busy, but this was almost intimidating. I shortly discovered several schools were there as well (I later found out there was a reason for this).
I made it through the checkpoint and immediately began my hunt for the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. I turned on Google Maps to try and guide me. As I was doing that, I realized so much more was at Arlington National Cemetery. I traveled through the walk paths as I followed my Google Maps. I saw rows and rows of graves. They looked beautiful in the most sad way though. They were all clean, perfectly lined up, perfect writing and designs. I was already tearing up. I didn’t know these people, but the fact that they gave up so much for us made me feel unworthy of being in their presence.
I realized Ruth Bader Ginsburg was buried there. Although I don’t know much about her, I did know that she did a lot for our country and women’s rights. I found her gravesite and just stared in admiration of it. That’s when I turned around and noticed the cemetery had a stunning view of the center of Washington, D.C. I had to take a picture and just admire it for a minute.
I also realized the Eternal Flame of former President Kennedy. When I learned about why he was buried there, it made it a bit more emotional. It fascinated me that a flame existed that was meant to never burn out. Although so simple, it was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever experienced in my life. How could something so sad be so beautiful?
I found my way back on the path to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. I didn’t realize how I perfectly planned this. There was a line to see the Tomb, but today was even more special. Workers from the cemetery came by and handed everyone a flower to put on the Tomb. We were able to be within touching distance of the Tomb. Since it was the weekend before Memorial Day, they did a special honor of respecting the Tomb.
As we approached the Tomb, one of the working soldiers let us know that we must pay respect by being quiet and not recording as we lay down our flowers. They told us where to place the flowers (to ensure they were evenly spread out).
I walked by the Tomb and immediately felt a heaviness in my heart. I bent down to lay the flower down. Had it been my choice, I would have just sat there feeling the ground, but we had to keep moving. I can’t imagine the heaviness some families carried/carried of a loved one that never made it home. A loved one that was never identified. A loved one who gave everything to protect their country.
The soldier that protects the Tomb was confined to the backside of the Tomb because of the special occasion. Normally he’s guarding all aspects of the Tomb but was limited today due to the ceremony. It was admiring to still see how they followed protocols of the 21-second turn, 21 steps, etc. It made me realize how much this Tomb meant to some people. It wasn’t about being there. It was about respect.
I sat on the steps in front of the Tomb and watched as people lay flowers. The next thing I knew, I was wiping away tears and sniffles from my emotions. Some people were cracking jokes, and it seriously made my blood boil. I wanted to yell and tell them to leave. It blew my mind that people could be so disrespectful, especially given that they were given an opportunity that only happens a few times a year. People can be shot by getting close to the Tomb on a normal day. This is a day where we have the honor of being close, and you dare to make jokes? It made me sick.
I walked away after composing myself and followed the path back out of the cemetery. On the way, I saw a couple laying flowers on the gravesites of soldiers. They had no idea who these people were, but they were honoring them. I ended up crying again. It moved me to know good people existed in this world, especially after seeing such disgusting behavior just minutes later.
I made my way out to see the Arlington Military Women’s Memorial. Whoever designed this did a fantastic job of creating something moving, and feminine, but yet so strong. It was oddly relaxing. I would’ve sat there all day and admired it.









An Unexpected Delay
In between Arlington National Cemetery and Mount Vernon, I decided I’d try to see something in the city center of Washington, D.C. I decided my first stop, and closest stop, would be the Lincoln Memorial. I took the Metro to the closest spot to the Lincoln Memorial. As I made my way there, I noticed a lot of police and blocked-off roads. I didn’t think much of it, other than maybe road work, but I was wrong.
I found my way to the Lincoln Memorial. I made it up all the steps and was in absolute awe. I didn’t realize how many steps I had to climb, but when I got there it was worth it. I had wonderful and beautiful views of the National Mall (which is not a shopping mall). The statue was incredibly huge. It amazed me that someone could make this with minimal tools. They honored states on the outside rim of the memorial. It was truly gorgeous and breathtaking. It may have been one of my favorite monuments to visit. As I sat there, I realized my time was cut short. I had to haul butt to the metro to make it to Mount Vernon in time for my scheduled tour.


I made the mistake of waiting too long! I ended up caught up in a motorcycle parade for Memorial Day. It lasted over an hour. Loud revving engines that just kept coming and coming and coming. There were thousands, if not tens of thousands, of motorcycles. It was never-ending. It made me look up what was happening, which I discovered was a Memorial Day remembrance and demonstration parade. It was called Rolling Thunder. Just when the motorcyclists were finishing, semi trucks followed. Initially, it was pretty cool. But how many motorcycles can you see without getting irritated by the loud rumbling? Even with my headphones in, I heard it like I was part of it. It didn’t help that I was on edge about making it to my tour in time too. It would have been different if they showed patriotism, but it was literally just motorcycles riding with honor. I would’ve loved to see some banners, flags, etc. The semi trucks were much more impressive on this front. There was one moment when a soldier stood in the middle of the traffic at salute to honor those fallen. That was the most impressive part of the demonstration.
When it was over, I walked faster than I ever did in my whole life to make it to the closest metro (which I later realized was not the closest metro). Somehow I made it without being too irritated by traffic. My focus was making it to Mount Vernon.
Mount Vernon
My second major visit today would be Mount Vernon – Home of George Washington. As a teacher, this was the nerd in me coming out. Although I don’t teach history, I am fascinated by it. I knew that this was one of the sites I had to visit before I left.
Getting here was a bit tough. I had to take several trains and buses to get here. Some of the train stations were extremely sketchy. At one of the stops I started to feel a bit paranoid. On any other trip, I would have had mace and other defense items. However, in Washington, D.C., you can’t go anywhere with anything – not even nail clippers. I definitely felt out of place and nervous.
I had less than 20 minutes to make it to my appointment for my scheduled tour. I knew I couldn’t wait here for 20 minutes. I was already anxious and feeling on edge. I didn’t know what to do. Out of desperation, I took my first Uber. I just had to get out and get away as soon as possible.
I’m a very paranoid person (especially being a female traveling alone), but this Uber driver made me feel safe and comfortable. There was no awkward conversation. He made sure to keep his distance in his driving. He never once showed his frustration with other drivers. I felt extremely safe.
I arrived at Mount Vernon and immediately hauled butt to the actual tour. I had about 8 minutes to get there. I do wish they had more signs telling you where what is. It may have been easier if I grabbed a map on the way in, but I didn’t have time. I found the line to the tour. It was a good mile-long line. Again, there were tons of schools here visiting. I was starting to think something was going on (which I later learned was). Luckily, they were pulling people in by their tour times. I was able to move up front based on the time of my tour.
His house was absolutely stunning, even before entering. The perfect symmetry made my ADD heart happy. It was my ideal house in terms of being equal on both sides. It sat on the end of the river, with a stunning view of the river and landscapes. It seriously made me feel at ease and calm.
When we entered, it was everything I expected. It encompassed a lot of old memorabilia from the time. The floors were made of stone or dirt. In some spots, they had wood. In fewer spots, they had carpet. Almost every room had a fireplace. The walls were covered in intricate wallpaper, which I’m sure at the time meant you had money. The number of items made from metal and gold was stunning. Canopy beds were apparently a trend of the time. The rooms were decently sized, given the period. It was eye-opening to see the old doors and keys. Some keys were bigger than both my hands put together. At some parts of the property, I was amazed at how protected he could have been during this time.
We saw George Washington’s desk and old books from the time. Things like this make me sit in awe realizing how far we came as a country. Wooden windows that were deteriorating due to age. They are doing a good job at preserving and restoring though, so I will give them credit! The ceilings had detailed designs that represented class status at that time. Many of the items in George Washington’s house were gifts given to him by other countries – including his main fireplace mantel. It blew my mind how everything matched within one room. The wallpaper would match the bedding.










We were able to see George Washington’s room. The same room that he died in. Although I didn’t experience anything paranormal, I’m sure there’s something interesting that happens there. I can’t imagine dying in my house, my house turning into a national treasure, and having hundreds of thousands of people in my home just about every day.





After touring the home, I visited several other buildings on the property. I saw George Washington’s old tomb. The original tomb was meant as a temporary holding space until he would be buried at the Capitol in the city center of Washington, D.C. However, by the time they created a burial site at the Capitol, Washington’s family and estate basically told them no. Instead, they build a new tomb, on the property, for him and his wife. Again, it was enchanting to see how people survived and lived during that time period.














The most moving part of Mount Vernon was the Slave Memorial. Walking up to the Slave Memorial, there were unmarked graves. They outlined the graves with rope and included small rocks of who should be buried there. Right next to it, a memorial was built to honor those who were part of the property. It’s not something many people think about, but to have that honor was eye-opening.


Overall, I’m glad this was my first official day. I experienced a range of emotions. I feel like this was the perfect way to start my trip and be grateful for the opportunities I had in front of me. I was extremely lucky to have been part of a memorial service for those that served and honor those that served recently and from the 1700s.
Journey to Boston: Day 4 – Plymouth, MA
My last pit stop on my historical tour was Plymouth, MA. I knew the original features of history were gone, but their ability to recreate it were astonishing!
I started off at the Plimouth Plantation. It included old Native American ways of living. It featured their living spaces, how they kept warm, their canoes (though called something else then), and more. It was amazing to see how someone would survive in the brutal winters of Boston then. It was only 36 degrees, but the breeze made it feel like 28. I could feel the coldness all over my body. It made me think about all those poor lives lost to the extreme cold.



After visiting the Native American portion of the exhibit, I was able to see a 1700’s colony. Walking into these homes, it put into perspective the average life span of the time. There were holes and gaps in the walls (although I’m sure much bigger due to deterioration over time). Almost all the homes had ground as flooring. Everything was made out of wood. Whether it was from then or rebuilt, they definitely caught the vibe of what old settlers went through. Even with mini fires going in each little house, it was incredibly cold. The only thought I could imagine was the thought of people freezing to death in their homes, hunting for food in the ice cold temperatures, and the like. Although completely fascinating, I felt a sense of sadness thinking of the lives of those who had to endure such a factor.






After the village, I decided to take a trip to the gift shop. Again, they had several items, including an old grinding tool made out of wood and a wood bowl. I bought a couple things (Christmas is coming) and went on my way to the next stop: The Mayflower II.
On the way to the Mayflower, you pass Plymouth Rock. Although no true history behind the rock itself, it was amazing to see how this was the landing spot for America. It made sense, but it also was very surreal to see. Looking out to see the ocean, Cape Cod, and the endless history behind it was moving in an unexplainable way. I was very grateful for that moment. Despite my feelings about modern America (or even Puritanical America), I felt the pride of the settlers. I know the intentions were good, despite some choppy times and beliefs.
The recreation of the Mayflower was stunning! I boarded the ship, which was all of three levels. I never knew a fireplace was built in the middle of the ship, but I guess it makes sense with the cold travel. I wondered how they were able to supply enough wood and food for 200+ men and woman. Again, I can’t imagine living during those times. Inside the Mayflower II were old tools they used, the general layout of the true Mayflower, and . It was fascinating to see how we were so ahead of times then. It doesn’t feel like we made too many improvements, though we have, in the last 300 years.






I ended my trip there. Although there were a million other places to visit and things to do, I decided I just needed to soak in what I had just experienced over the last few days. I felt something different than I have with other trips. I felt some connection to all things around me. It was moving in a way that cannot be described. Not in a way that brings tears to your eyes, or makes you feel a certain way, but in a sense of I felt something change with the connection I felt to the area. It was very surreal. I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to visit. I know many who dream of going, but never do. I had to share.
Journey to Boston: Day 3 – Boston, MA
Where else do you go to find out about our original history of the country other than…Boston! I think very few places (such as Philadelphia) are as great to learn about American history as Boston! It’s a very fortunate experience.
I woke up early to make sure I wouldn’t be late for my Freedom Trail walk through the city. I was looking forward to seeing some of the most famous sites of American history. I wanted to beat the Masshole drivers as well. I was lucky, arrived early, and found parking easily. I walked to the Boston Common and just fell in love immediately. So many trails, hills, colors of trees, active people walking and running, and more. It looked like it was right out of a movie!




As I sat and waited for the tour to begin, I called my mom to let her know things were okay. In the midst of the phone call, the squirrels were coming closer. They had no fear of human people. At one point, a squirrel started up my leg, but took off. I started giggling. In Central Texas, the squirrels are terrified of people!
I started making noises to call the squirrels over and snapping my fingers. Twice! Twice a squirrel jumped in my lap. It was such an amazing experience. I’ve never seen one so close before in my life. As cheesy as it sounds, it literally made my entire morning. I didn’t care if everything went wrong past that point. I was cheesing like a kid on Halloween that just lucked out discovering the house that serves full pieces of candy!
The tour guide called us over to start. We walked around and listened to the tour guide spew historical facts about each location and the general history of Boston. I never realized how much I listened to my history teachers until he was talking, and I could basically recite word-for-word his tour. It was odd, but also funny!
We toured John Hancock’s grave, Paul Revere’s grave, Samuel Adam’s grave, other graves you couldn’t see the names on it due to the oldness of it, and the Boston Massacre victims grave. We were able to visit the school and church Benjamin Franklin went to when he was a younger child. We saw where the Declaration of Independence was first read off, the Boston Massacre site, and some other lesser known sites. I didn’t get to every historical site, but I am extremely grateful for what I did see. The cobblestone alleyways and brick pavements made me feel like I was back in the 1700s. With a few dirt roads still, I could imagine horses and carriages throughout the roads.














I didn’t spend too much time in Boston, only because I was tired. I’ve walked more in the last 2.5 days than I have in the last month combined. My legs were sore, my upper body was sore, and I was just tired. I did find Boston easy to navigate though.
I stopped by Chicken & Rice Guys for dinner. It was amazing! Similar to a gyro without the wrap, it was seasoned chicken thigh, seasoned rice, lettuce, two pita slices, and creamy garlic sauce. The seasoning of the food was, as Bostonians would say, wicked good and so fulfilling. It was so much food, I was unable to eat it all. I was thoroughly impressed! I did notice there were a ton of pizza places, delis, and seafood spots in both Boston and Salem. It makes sense, but I wanted something different.
Journey to Boston: Day 2 – Salem, MA
Today was the day I discovered the term “Massholes.” I’ve heard it through peers, but I always thought they were overexaggerating. They definitely were not.
I’ve never heard so many horns in my life, nor seen as many law breaking citizens driving. I was absolutely stunned. I was used to the “weird” roads of roundabouts, sharp turns, etc. That never stunned me, having lived in upstate New York. The amount of people who cut off others, showed respect with their middle fingers, ran red lights, and more was mind blowing.
It was fine though. I just had to get back into the habit of driving in a busy northeast city. I mean….I drove in NYC once before in my life…I figured this was a piece of cake. I will say driving in Austin is not the same as driving in Boston. After a few near death experiences (okay that may be an exaggeration), I was able to figure our driving again in the city and quickly adjusted to become my own version of a Masshole – or Texasshole. Either one is properly fitting for the drive.
I made to Salem, once again. This time, I was going on my History and Haunting’s tour with the Witch City Walking Tours company (the company that rescheduled me due to the late delayed flight). I was in the same location of the night before, which worked out great!
We met at Old Town Hall for the walking tour. Seeing it in the daytime had a different vibe. This tour was even better! We saw the Witch House, Ropes Mansion (Hocus Pocus), Hamilton Hall, Bewitched Statue, Salem Witch Memorial (in daylight), Old Burying Point/Charter Street Cemetery, and a few lesser known places.

































I decided to take the rest of the day to explore some of the other places on my own, such as Salem Witch Museum. I wasn’t impressed with the Salem Witch Museum presentation, but the gift shop was amazing! The presentation provided by the SWM was insanely boring and bland. It was like listening to an old history teacher in a lecture style class. Luckily, the gift shop saved it. It’s about the only thing that was good about it.
I also ended up visiting Proctor’s Ledge, where most of the “witch” hangings actually occurred. It was a beautiful memorial to those who lost their life innocently over hysteria. Little did I know, it was in someone’s back yard. I want to approach their door and ask if any hauntings occur, but that would be invasive and rude.

I saw the House of Seven Gables which, as an English teacher, was amazing. I fell in love with the beauty of it, especially the courtyard. The ironic thing is: I’ve never read Nathaniel Hawthorne’s book. I just heard about it!



I was hoping to see Pioneer Village, but they closed on the exact day I went to go see them. Fortunately, I was able to take some photos from the outer view of it. Maybe on my next visit, it’ll be open. I’m sure it’s moving as well. Along with that came an amazing view of the waterfront next to Pioneer Village.
Today was a moment for me. Despite the crazy world we live in, I discovered that not everyone is bad. I met some amazing people who had open conversations about their journeys to Salem. I had several experiences that I could only dream of or imagine. It all finally came true. I learned of burning churches, the power of money (much like today), and how an insane belief in religion likely killed several.
I was sad knowing it was my last day in Salem, but I also knew I’d likely come back to explore more. On my travels, I learned much of the history happened outside of actual Salem, MA. It gives me another reason to visit and see the stunning views.
Journey to Boston: Day 1 – Austin, TX to Boston, MA/Salem, MA
Like many kids, I despised history class. I never understood the importance of remembering dates, names, places, etc. Although, one thing I give my history teachers credit for: they made me fall in love with the 1600-1700s, Roman/Greek history, and United Kingdom history. I always was drawn in to the history behind those areas, more than any other place or times in the world.
Part of me gets a sensation that I came from those areas in a past life. I know people have their opinions about life after death, rebirth, and such. I’m not exactly sure what to believe (does anyone though?), but one thing I can say is I’m oddly connected to those time periods. I knew it was time to see what that connection was all about!
As someone with severe social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder, the thought of travel for “fun” terrified me. A single woman roaming the unknown streets of places unfamiliar was just not ideal. Nowadays, you never know what you will experience. That’s a whole other blog topic though!
However, I decided I will not let my anxiety hold me back anymore. “You only live once,” is the popular saying, right?. What regrets would I have if I never explored areas I felt some connection with? How would I feel sitting around for days on end knowing I could have done something more with my life. I’m all about the experience, not materialistic things.
On a spur of a moment, I decided it was time. Salem, Boston, Plymouth…here I come!!
The first thing I did out of my comfort zone was taking off work on a Friday before break! That is just unheard of, especially for me! But my thinking is: I needed this for me, my mental health, and if something happened, life would go on, with or without me. I even forced myself to not check my emails in hopes to not receive any news that would make the trip stressful or less enjoyable. I didn’t want this moment ruined.
Waking up at 3:30 am, I was so excited! I walked outside to see the temperature and such so I knew what to prepare for, and I was blessed with to see the Lunar Eclipse. Like any person, I snapped a million photos of the beauty that glared before me. This was my sign that I knew this trip was meant for me. This rare Lunar Eclipse screamed out to me now more than ever.





I kept waking up the last few nights for excitement of everything I had planned. Getting a whole night of sleep was rare and nearly impossible in the last week. I checked to make sure everything last minute was packed up before I left. Double checking for medications, eye glass wipes, fog protectant wipes, enough clothes, all the overnight necessities, makeup, hair accessories, chargers, and everything else you could dream of taking on a trip for several days. I waited until I received the notification on my Life360 that my ride was here. I couldn’t contain my excitement.
We arrived at the airport, and my jaw dropped. I was utterly surprised to see the mass amount of people in the airport. If you didn’t know better, you’d think it was Christmas pre-COVID. People were shoulder to shoulder. You couldn’t tell where one line started and one line ended. It was horrendous. In all my years of traveling (which hasn’t been since 2015), I’ve never seen anything like it. As a child, I would fly back and forth constantly to see my dad in upstate New York. That didn’t terrify me as much as the mass amount of people in there today. I thought there would be absolutely no way for me to make it to my gate on time.
Luckily, I was raised with a military father who believed the old saying, “If you’re early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, you’re late.” I, even though my friends make fun of me, am always early (this could also trigger my anxiety). Because I arrived early, I was able to make it to my gate on time. I emphasize on time, because it was literally within minutes of me being able to board with arriving early. All the passengers board the plane, but then we’re told there is “maintenance issues” that won’t affect the flight. OH THE LIES AMERICAN AIRLINES! THE LIES!
After several delays, we were asked to deboard the plane with all of our belongings. The airline never kept us informed about what was going on or the status of the flight. It was incredibly frustrating.
We were two hours past our depart time. I was shocked, and my anxiety went in full force. My ride went home (1.5 hours away), I didn’t want to miss my planned activities for the night, I didn’t want to lose out on my prepaid hotel, rental car, etc. They said the flight wasn’t “canceled,” but was “unknown in status.”
Yes…that’s the perfect thing to tell someone with GAD (general anxiety disorder). No…my feelings totally didn’t go haywire in a craze of what was so serious for us to be delayed again and again and again and again and eventually deboarded to “fix the problem.”
Finally, four hours later, we boarded again and were finally on the way to Boston! Due to the stress of the morning and the lack of sleep for the last couple of days, I was exhausted. Luckily for me, the four-hour delay caused some people to change their flights. The seat next to me was open, and I had a window seat. I was able to take a few great naps! I didn’t care if I drooled, snored, twitched, talked in my sleep, etc. I was tired! It was going to happen one way or another! I woke up with snacks and drinks. I hadn’t eaten breakfast because my excitement and GI (gastrointestinal) issues. I didn’t want to take the risk. I was starving by the time the snacks came. I’ve never been so thankful for a biscotti before in my life. It was like finding wholesome diamonds or emeralds, but the food version!
Not long after, we began descending for landing. I could feel my body and eyes light up. All the lakes, the colors of the trees from the skies, the open land, rolling hills, etc. I was so excited. In Texas, you don’t see that. The trees are either brown or green. The grass is either brown or green. Mountains? No way…maybe a hill or two, but nothing like the northeast. Trying to find a decent number of trees now in Texas (unless you’re in certain areas) is like a treasure hunt.
As we descended more and more, I was able to see Cape Cod. It was somewhere so many people dreamt about and talked about. It looked like it was straight off a movie or TV show. I knew I would save that trip for another time (peak whale watching season). I felt so honored to see such a beauty. As we got closer and closer to land, my excitement, and nerves, skyrocketed! I was ready to jump off the plane and explore!
I knew I was going to miss my first tour, thanks to the delay. However, I was determined to make my second tour, which started at 8:00 pm. But could I? It was almost 6:00 pm, and I still needed my rental car, my hotel, my tickets to the tour, and to find the place in Salem, which was a good 40-50 minutes away with traffic, according to my lovely Google Maps.
Hello anxiety! Thankfully the owner of the first tour company (Salem Walking Tours) rescheduled my ticket that I missed, due to the delayed flight. Beth, at Salem Walking Tours, did an amazing job accommodating. She was so polite and understanding. I highly recommend them on so many fronts.
My second tour was with someone else (Salem Night Tours). I was hoping I wouldn’t have to reschedule again. My night would have been ruined. I had been looking forward to start immediately.
The line for the rental vehicle was ridiculous. The lovely Alamo Rental Vehicles has a whopping total of two people working with about forty people in line. I had two hours to make my tour, and my anxiety was telling me there was absolutely no way I was going to make it. I was feeling defeated and irritated. All their Kiosks were down as well, so I couldn’t even do the check-in process myself.
I finally made it to the counter with one hour to spare. I just kept praying they would hurry. Luckily, it didn’t take long since I had pre-scheduled the rental and pre-paid. I had to decide whether to go to the hotel or skip it in hopes that they don ‘t give my room away. I was determined for this tour though.
I skipped the hotel and went straight to Salem, MA. Oh the nostalgic feeling of being back in the Northeast! As someone who lived in upstate New York, for a very short time of six beautiful months, I just missed everything the northeast offered: scenery, activities, people, weather, etc. Yes, me, a Texan, missed the cold, windy, winter. Shocking! This is also coming from someone who wore a hoodie each day in Boston/Salem/Plymouth with temperatures between 28 degrees and 55 degrees and continued to sweat, regardless of the temperature. Don’t ask! I’m definitely not made for Texas anymore!
My eyes lit up with all the older buildings, the cobble stone grounds, the brick streets, etc. I felt an odd connection to the place. It felt familiar, even though I’ve never been there in my life. I’m not sure if it was my connection to upstate New York, or if there was something else connecting me to the situation and place. Either way, as I drove closer to the city center of Salem, MA, I felt this overwhelming sense of excitement.
I found somewhere to park, and I didn’t care how much it was to park. It could have cost $50, and I still would have paid it, so long as I was able to explore Salem, MA in the night and day. I parked and had to go in the trunk of the rental car to get my thick jacket. It was so incredibly cold with the breeze. It was the one and only time I wore my jacket on the entire trip. I often wonder why I even brought such a bulky thing. Needless to say, I was glad. I went from the 50s in Texas to the low 30s in Massachusetts. With 45 minutes to spare, I decided to shop whatever stores were still open. Much like European countries I’ve been to, several shops were already closed for the night. I ended up in a souvenir shop with witchy items and a ton of Harry Potter Memorabilia. I returned back to my car to unload all the items into the trunk of my car.
I used my Google Maps GPS to show me walking directions to my first tour of the trip. I found out it was also the gift shop, which worked out perfectly for me! I already met the people and knew where I was going.
The tour was fabulous! From the company Remember Salem, Sebastian was our tour guide. He was your traditional goth: long, black trench coat, black boots, black pants, black shirt, black hair, black lipstick, etc. His personality was amazing! I couldn’t ask for a better guide.
We hit all the well-known spots, such as the Old Town Hall (hello Hocus Pocus), the Salem Witch Memorial, Old Burying Point/Charter Street Cemetery, and a few unknown places. We also visited St. Peter’s Episcopal Church, the Pickman house, and so much more! I was hoping and praying for a spiritual interaction of some kind, but sadly nothing happened. I was manifesting an apparition, a tug on my clothes, some voices next to me, etc., but nothing occurred. I know that sounds weird, but I was hopeful! I wanted to know it was real! I did, however, learn about the game Clue and its connection to Salem, MA!
The moon was fantastic! I knew this trip was exactly what I needed. Everything I saw was straight out of a movie.
After the tour, I went to the hotel with a late check-in. I knew I’d sleep great that night! I was filled with excitement about my upcoming adventures, but part of me was totally worn down from the stressful morning. I hadn’t eaten a real meal all day, so I knew I had to try to get something from the bar before they closed. Residence Inn at Boston/Logan Airport provided me with such amazing service my first night there, including the food options. With 20 minutes to spare before close, they were kind enough to still make the delicious flatbread.
I had such great scenery that night. I was ready to explore more, but I needed sleep. I couldn’t wait for my next adventure, as I set my alarm to ensure I made it to my other tour on time.
The Gift of Failure – Ways to Encourage Failure
Most of us grow up not knowing what failure is. When we “fail,” we just keep going or keep trying. We don’t get berated for falling when we try to walk. We don’t get criticized when playing t-ball and miss the hit. Instead, we are taught to keep trying, keep working, and grow from our experience. At times, encouragement is also thrown our way to hope we do better.
Somehow, that changes though as we age. Somehow encouragement turns into negative, non-productive criticism. Keep trying turns into giving up. Self-esteem gets tarnished and hurt. Perfection is expected, even though perfection doesn’t truly exist. A minimum standard becomes a measurement – whether it be weight, grades, time management, etc.
Somewhere along the way, we lose the meaning of what it truly means to fail and the importance of failing.

Childhood Failures Encouraged
During childhood, it is considered a gift to fail. Even though it’s not necessarily called a gift, the idea of it being a gift is there.
When babies first start speaking, they don’t say “mama” or “dada” on their first try. Instead, parents, friends, and other family members giggle, smile, and keep repeating the words in hope to help the baby say “mama” or “dada.” These same people don’t look at the baby with disgust and say, “You can do better. I’m disappointed in you.”
Kids are notorious for lying – intentionally or not. Sometimes it’s a little white lie, while other times it’s quite large. As parents, a discussion is had with the child to encourage telling the truth and explaining the issue with lying. After the discussion, there is hope that there will be a change in behavior for the lying.
As children, it is encouraged to play, make friends, learn new games, and socialize. The more these things occur, the more growth happens. When children don’t play, don’t make friends, and don’t socialize, adults encourage it and sometimes seek assistance to make those areas grow. A concern is given for those who do not play, make friends, learn new games, and socialize.
So why do these expectations turn into negatives?
Adult Expectations
Somewhere around the end of elementary school and beginning of middle school/junior high, society starts to place higher expectations of children. They must make certain grades, they must respect others (especially adults), they must listen to rules, they must stay quiet when spoken to, they must work with others, etc.
It changes from encouragement to expectation. If those expectations are not met, we start to have discussions with children and let them know it’s no longer encouraged, but expected. When these expectations aren’t met, then someone becomes disappointed in them. In turn, it hurts their self-esteem, causing more issues with the encouragement of what they struggled with in the first place.
Continue that through high school where a required ACT/SAT score is needed to get into college and so many credits are required for graduation, placing pressure on an individual to make a specific score. The higher your score, the more likely you’ll get into a college of your choice – whether it be grades of ACT/SAT. Now, that encouragement becomes more pressure based than something out of genuine effort. College just intensifies this.
Students begin to work jobs. There are expectations in jobs. In the beginning, new employees are often “guided” and given constructive criticism about their new job. However, that constructive criticism becomes toxic. It starts off slow with general criticism. Oftentimes, it turns into peers talking about one-another, which in turn breaks the spirit of the employee. Even if this doesn’t occur in front of the person, word eventually gets back around.
In all of these struggles, we forget the gift of failure.
Joys in Failure
What makes failure such a great concept? Why is failure so important? How do we encourage failure in a positive way?
Failure allows people to grow as individuals. It allows them to reflect on what happened, what went wrong, and how to prepare for the future again. Failure creates an atmosphere for continuous growth. Continuous growth is important as a person to ensure we become better. We can become better as a person, as an employee, as a friend, as a mother, as a father, as a sister, as a brother, etc. If we stay stagnant in who we are, we risk losing important people and things around us.
Along with growth, failure allows us to handle criticism better – either from ourselves or others. Failure tells us that sometimes things happen, sometimes we mess up, and sometimes we need help, and that’s okay! Having that guidance allows us to not become broken in our self-esteem, but instead say, “I overcame this,” no matter how big or how small. It breeds self-acceptance in what we are able to handle and what we can learn. A person who thinks they are always right has no room for growth and will never see the value in failure.
Failure also allows us to find ways to never give up. When we fail once, we tend to try again. Failing multiple times, especially in adulthood, we tend to get discouraged. However, if we look as failure as a lesson instead of an action, we can see where growth can occur.
Applying for a job, but not getting the job, because of a bad interview is a learning lesson. We can reflect on why it was bad. Was it the outfit? The noise? The choking during answers? We take time to reflect on the possibilities on the why to make changes for the future.
Not making the sports team can also reflect on a lesson. Did we not make the team due to skill? Teamwork mentality? Conflict in scheduling? Take those lessons and make the necessary changes.
We don’t give up. We learn. We grow.
Change the Mentality of Failure
Failure is so important to the growth of people and society. Without failure, we won’t change, which causes many problems within ourselves and in society. Failure allows us to see the possibilities in what can be. Failure is incredibly important.
As a society, we need to remember what it was like growing up and how failure was encouraged. We should take those tools we experienced as children and promote them into adulthood. It is okay to fail, if we approach it in a way that encourages change. Instead of criticising someone in a negative way, we need to provide ways to encourage the growth that can be produced from failure.
Ways to encourage failure:
- Constructive Criticism: Constructive criticism allows someone to see where they went wrong and how to fix it without their self-esteem being shattered.
- Explanation: Explanations allow someone to understand the why, how, what, etc. This will give them clarity on why someone wasn’t happy about a specific issue.
- Radical Acceptance: Radical acceptance is just accepting something as it is. “It is what it is…” is the best way to describe radical acceptance. It cannot be changed. What is done is done, what is in the past is in the past. However, I would highly encourage pairing this with constructive criticism or explanation.
- Mentoring: Becoming a mentor is underrated, especially in the topic of failure. Mentoring should be something encouraged to allow others to learn from someone who does well in the area in which they are struggling. It could be one person assigned as a whole mentor or multiple people assigned for a variety of topics in need. Mentors are incredibly important to growth.

Failure will always be a part of our life. No one is perfect. Even those that think they are have room to grow. Failure is a part of change and growth. Failure can be overeating, forgetting a blinker at a turn, or not making the score you expected. All of these examples have room for growth if approached the right way.
Going Back to Our Roots – Polar Vortex Edition
The United States was recently hit by an Arctic Polar Vortex. Although this isn’t uncommon for northern states, for southern states it came as a shock. Places like Texas hit temperatures, snowfall, and ice records that haven’t been seen in decades or even centuries.
During this historic event, Texas had to conduct rolling blackouts in order to preserve electricity. Some homes went over 12 hours without power. Others lost power for 40 minutes, but then it would turn back on for 15-20 minutes. This left many people with no warmth or ability to cook.
The temperatures were steady between 6° and 20°. Wind chills fell between -17° and 0°. This was the second time in less than a month that Texas received record breaking temperatures and snow. Going outside to build a snowman is fun, but maybe only for a few minutes before hypothermia becomes a concern.
Internet service providers were offline. Cell phone towers were overloaded, so data slowed down (or cut in-and-out). The roads had anywhere between 3 inches and over a foot of snow on the ground, with ice underneath. Stores closed down or closed early. Food chains shut down for the safety of its employees. County offices shut down for the week. Schools delayed learning face-to-face and virtual (due to power outages). All of this led to families or individuals being stuck inside with nothing to do.
Unable to go outside for long periods of time, unable to drive anywhere due to road conditions, unable to use power, unable to use the Internet, and having barely any data, when we live in such a technology drive world, what can be done to prevent yourself from going stir crazy?
Emergency Kits
Hopefully, living in a place like Texas, notorious for severe weather, you’ve stocked up on a variety of candles or emergency lights. Texans are known to prepare for weather events from hurricanes to tornadoes. Using these emergency kits are beneficial in times when there is no power. But how can they be used?
Reading
By setting up a candle, or emergency light, you can read either a new book or a favorite book. Even as a family, you could return to elementary and secondary school and take turns reading. This can create a bonding moment between members, increase comprehension, and can be fun for an individual or a family.
There are so many genres to read from. We all have our favorites, but maybe this outage provides an opportunity for you to explore new genres. As someone who didn’t enjoy any science fiction related books, including dystopian, I always looked the other way when I was suggested any science fiction or dystopian books. Harry Potter and Hunger Games never interested me (I know, I know…I’m sorry). It wasn’t until a co-worker introduced me to a dystopian science fiction book, Red Queen, that I was able to truly explore the genre. I enjoyed the book so much that I continued the series. It was a rare moment that I truly enjoyed a genre that I always found unappealing.
I suggest the Genre 10 challenge. In Genre 10, you choose 10 genres of reading that you normally wouldn’t read and give them a shot. Some households already have all the genres in their house, but usually dedicated to specific people. What genres can be suggested?
- Young Adult
- General Fiction
- Realistic Fiction
- Historical Fiction
- Poetry
- Romance
- Dystopian
- Science Fiction
- Biography
- Autobiography
- Memoir
- Self-Help
- Business
- Finances
- Psychology
With so many options, even reading one new genre would be worth a try during a national Arctic Polar Vortex.
New Hobbies/Interests
Learning new hobbies or interests is something we don’t often think about, because we live in a country of go, go, go! We don’t give ourselves enough time to explore new tasks anymore. Using your emergency kit, you are able to spend some time learning something new.
Hair, Beauty, and Fashion
You can use this time and resources (candles) to explore new styles. Using candlelight, explore options in makeup, hair, or even fashion.
With a candle lit in the bathroom, you can sit in front of the mirror and begin creating new looks for yourself. By using simple techniques and products (gel, hairspray, mouse, etc.), you can explore new hairstyles. We get so used to seeing ourselves look one way, and we become comfortable with not changing. Why not use the day(s) to explore a new look that has been considered for some time? Maybe instead of slicking the hair back, explore slicking it forward, to the left, to the right, parted down the middle, etc. Work with updos (man bun exploration). Try a half up-half down look. It may be worth a shot to even bring the mullet back (Miley Cyrus is trying to bring her dad’s signature look back in style).
Makeup is another area to be explored. I’m a pretty simple person when it comes to makeup: mascara and occasionally eye liner. If you’re like me, or even do slightly more, maybe this is the time to explore full on facial looks like that of famous makeup artists or influencers (James Charles, Jeffree Star, Jaclyn Hill, Anastasia, Bobbi Brown, Pat McGrath, etc.). Have you always wanted to learn a cut crease or contouring? Try it now! What do you have to lose? You’re in your house with nothing better to do than explore! Want to practice gradient eyeshadows or a smokey eye? Go for it! There could be no better moment than now to explore such interests. Proud of your look? Take some headshots of the new look using your phone or a battery camera (yes, they still exist).
We all have closets with at least one piece of clothing we’ve hung on to, but never worn. Whether the clothing be too big, too small, not in season, or we just haven’t gotten around to it, it’s time to put it to use.
We become comfortable wearing the same outfits and rotating them and the color schemes (nothing like maroon and mustard yellow, purple and yellow, pink and green). Why not branch out on a day when everything seems helpless and create some new looks? Take the time to play with color schemes you normally wouldn’t consider. Mix and match outfits that have different looks to them (grungy with preppy, business with casual, modern with vintage). Not an accessories person? Or have so many shoes you’re not sure how to incorporate into your fashion? Try them all! There is no better than to experiment. You’re sure to find something that stands out and makes you excited about wearing it when the weather gets better! As a bonus, you could provide a fashion show for neighbors, friends, or family!
Workout
Bodyweight exercises can be done anywhere! Every year, as a new year’s resolution, so many Americans state they will “eat better and lose weight.” While experiencing no power, why not challenge yourself to starting this new habit. It doesn’t hurt that it keeps you warm in the process. Not sure where to start? We all need a starting point.
Burpees are great for a full body workout. It can be modified for the advanced or beginner workout. In a beginner range, you may just reach up, bend down to touch the ground, put one foot back at a time, and reverse to come up. As an advanced workout guru, you could squat down, jump up to reach the sky with those buff arms, jump down and kick out at the same time, do a pushup, jump back, and repeat. Any modification in between those two is also great.
Walking, running, side steps, or jumping jacks in place is always a simple option. This will let your heart start pumping and burning calories while there is nothing else to do. You could do it for hours or in intervals. Maybe walking for 20 minutes, rest for 10, and walk another 20 minutes. Again, this can be modified in any way, but it’s a way to stay busy.
Don’t have weights? Use items around the house. Milk or water jugs are great replacements for dumbbells. Laundry detergents, bleach bottles, and fabric softener bottles also work great. Need something small and light? Use water or soda bottles to lift repeatedly. Do you have a case of water or drinks you can use to lift? Do you have cat litter you can carry? What about a toddler to carry around the house? It’s not so much about the weight as it is about working the muscle. Use a wall for wall pushups or wall sits. Use a chair for dips or stability for leg workouts. Use the resources within the house to build those muscles and get the blood flowing.
Other General Hobbies
Do you love to write? Draw? Sing? Paint? Dance? Use this time to create beautiful masterpieces. You can keep them private, show them off, or send them out when the weather clears and/or internet is back on. Make a song, even if it’s just the lyrics. Create a musical chord on your guitar or piano. Create a routine to a song you love. Doodle away or draw a 3D piece. Even without a canvas or paint, we can take makeup, food color, food, or drinks to paint on paper, cardboard, etc. Learn how to hand sew items or crochet in the dark. I have yarn and a crochet needle that have been sitting in my spare room that I’ve neglected. Now is the time to dig it out and try it! Start a book (non-fiction or fiction). Do you have stage fright and need the opportunity to practice? Go to a neighbor, sing in front of family, record yourself to post later. Are you a builder? Do you want to practice building with a variety of media (cardboard, paper, bottles, cards, etc.)? Try it! Practice your poker technique or chess technique for your next big match. Practice gravitational pulls of spinning a basketball on your finger or balancing something on your head while walking. Sports coach for a local community or want to start getting involved in the community? Use this time to jot down plays, come up with government bill ideas, municipal involvement/changes, volunteer opportunities, financial investments, etc.
Redecorate, Organize, or Clean
Even by candlelight, we can use this time to redecorate. Want to try a new look for your living room? Do it now while you have the time to do it. You don’t like how the bathroom counter looks? Move stuff around, organize into boxes below the sink, or find new ways to not overcrowd the vanity. Want to rearrange the bedroom to be more effective in movement? Try it now, even by candlelight. If you don’t like it, you can always move it back. Do you not like the dining table near the wall? Try to move it to the center of the kitchen and see if it flows better. If it doesn’t, move it back. Wipe the counters down, dust what you can see, wipe the doors down. You may not be able to vacuum or mop, but this is an opportunity to do what you can. Now is the perfect time to try these new ideas. Pinterest is overloaded with ideas for people to try!
Try It Now
Being creative seems to be a lost art, especially as we get older. We spend so much time focused on our work and surviving that we lose site of our passions and creativity. There has never been a better time than sitting in idleness that we can spark our creativity again and learn something amazing about ourselves. Prevent yourself from getting stir crazy and try something new while you can. There are so many options available to us that we often forget about because the world we live in is now at our fingertips. Maybe going back to our roots isn’t such a bad idea. Don’t miss the opportunity to try these and look back years down the road and say, “I wish I would have…”
Tap Tap Art Studio versus Painting with a Twist
Guided painting classes have become popular in recent times, thanks to companies who are developing art classes locally and nationally. Within the Killeen and Harker Heights area, there are two popular companies that offer such classes. How are they alike and different? Which one is the better choice? Let’s take a look at what each location has to offer.
Tap Tap Art Studio History
Tap Tap Art Studio is a local small business. It was developed to help promote the arts locally, outside of regular primary and secondary classes. The company initially started its location in a bus. Eventually, its popularity grew, and they now have a physical location. Tap Tap Art Studio focuses on all aspects of art: from music, painting, pottery, and more.
Painting with a Twist History
Painting with a Twist is a national brand. The first location was opened in Louisiana after the devastating Hurricane Katrina ruined area. It grew over time and became one of the most recognized names in its category. The idea behind Painting with a Twist is to have fun and learn something amazing at the same time. Painting with a Twist focuses only on the painting aspect of the art.
Activities for Children
Both locations offer activities for children; however, Tap Tap Art Studio offers several different types of activities. Tap Tap Art Studio offers camp and after-school activities; whereas Painting with a Twist only offers children painting classes. These children friendly events are limited on days and times, but the paintings are appropriate for the ages advertised.
Parties are available at both locations.
Adult Activities
Both locations offer adult painting services with the option to BYOB (Bring Your Own Beverage) and snacks. The benefit of Painting with a Twist over Tap Tap Art Studio is the variety and classes offered to adults. Painting with a Twist has more available classes to adults with a wider option of paintings. Tap Tap Art Studio’s paintings for adults are often rare, limited, and few choices of designs.
Painting with a Twist offers a specialized Paint Your Pet session. In this session, you send in a photo of your animal. They draw out the outline of the painting. Each guest has a different picture. From there, they guide them on how to mix colors and such to make the animal appear realistic. This customizable painting can be especially important to those who may have recently lost an animal and want to cherish the memory of their fur babies. In this session, they provide more one-on-one guidance to ensure the painting is as realistic as possible. These sessions cost more due to the amount of assistance they provide and customization that is provided. It’s well worth it for the animal lover!
Parties are available at both locations. However, Painting with a Twist allows fundraising activities for groups of any kind. A percentage of the cost goes back to the group. Usually the paintings are related to the topic/group at hand.
Available Paintings
The paintings at both locations are easy, but challenging for a non-artist of any age. Both locations offer a 16″ x 20″ canvas (sometimes it varies on the painting) with a pre-drawn piece of art. Both locations guide the user through the process of painting (completing the background first, allowing it to dry, continuing to the next layer, allowing that to dry, etc.). Both locations have a color palette for each painting, but they also allow customization.
Both locations offer assistance with paintings. If you are a struggling artist, such as myself, they come by often and guide you. Rarely do they step in and “fix” the painting, but it is possible. As someone with a heavy hand, sometimes I can overdue the amount of paint on a project. However, they will come by and show how to spread it out without messing up the look or concept of the painting.
One difference in companies regarding painting is Tap Tap Art Studio allows mixed media paintings. A recent painting with Tap Tap Art Studio included acrylic painting with pearls for their “Chucks and Pearls” painting. Painting with a Twist only completes acrylic paintings with no other forms of media. If they conducted the same session, no pearls would be added. Instead, it would have been just paint depicting the pearls on the shoes.
COVID Adjustments
Painting with a Twist has made the effort to adapt to the times with COVID. Painting with a Twist offers take home paintings. Included in this are instructions on how to complete the piece. They have also supplied online videos on how to complete these projects for the visual learner. They have constant access to customer service for questions. Tap Tap Art Studio had some take home projects when COVID initially hit in the United States, but has since discontinued such activities.
Classes have been reasonable in terms of a cap limit of people. Both locations have large rooms to space people out. Both locations have a maximum amount of participants to reduce the possible exposure of COVID to guests. Both locations are adamant about cleaning their supplies, rooms, door handles, etc. Both locations offer sanitizer, masks, and other COVID needs when entering the building.
Overall Feedback
Both locations offer amazing activities for children and adults. The biggest takeaway from this is a matter of preference.
If you’re someone who enjoys learning and completing several art pieces, then Painting with a Twist may be more up your alley with the options and times available. If you’re the person who is more focused on activities outside of painting, then Tap Tap Art Studio would be a better choice for your interests.
Give both places a try and see which one fits your needs and wants. Support a small local business or support a small local franchise. Either way, support the local arts and economy while learning something new and having some fun!
Personal Paintings from Each
Tap Tap Art Studio
Below is my mixed media “Chucks and Pearls” from Tap Tap Art Studio.




Painting with a Twist
Below are completed paintings from Painting with a Twist



Admiring Austin Part 1
Austin, Texas is a place known for their interesting appeal. From the hippie vibe to the new Silicone Valley feel, Austin, Texas provides a variety of activities for everyone of all ages! Austin is, no doubt, one of the best places to visit in Texas to receive Southern Hospitality!
Due to COVID, some locations may be temporarily closed or limited. Please check on their site prior to attempting to go to their spot.
Wonderspaces
Wonderspaces is a beautiful, interesting, and interactive location for those who are into modern art. With only four locations in the United States, it’s a place one would be lucky to see!
Due to COVID, we were unable to interact with some features. One display was being worked on and not open to the public. However, despite the setbacks, there were several other displays open! They were kind enough to let us know they would be offering tickets via email once they open back up 100% so we could fully experience the displays.
They had several stunning exhibits that were peaking my interest. The only thing I wish they added to each exhibit was a description for each piece. The Illegal Art exhibit was stunning, but I wanted to know more about it. You can find more information online, but it would have been handy to have this in person as well. It very well may be that they normally do have these in person, but, due to coronavirus, they chose to make it digital.
Exhibits
Squidsoup is one of the creators of the Submergence exhibit in Austin, TX. This feature allows guests to observe a beautiful light show that moves with the music to form a variety of shows.
Reed van Brunschot created the large Thank You Bags exhibit. The focus of this piece is the American belief in capitalism and harmful effects of these plastic waste bags on the environment.
Vier Nev created the A Mind Sang. This visual display has a seamless movement through the video. It shares some images of what appears to be optical illusions.
Yasuhiro Chida’s exhibit initially appeared to be dancing fireflies within the display. As we came closer, we thought it appeared to be spiderwebs. After further looking, we realized it was fishing line. The ability to take fishing line and create such a masterful piece is amazing!

Everyware created the Levitate piece. Unfortunately, we were unable to interact with this one due to coronavirus. However, I am hoping soon we will be able to experience it to it’s full potential!

Memo Akten was the creator of Body Paint. This exhibit is interactive with human movements. The use of shadow and body create beautiful art pieces. This is especially ideal for those who grew up in dance, gymnastics, or even generalized sports.
NONOTAK Studio displayed one of the most intriguing exhibits, Hoshi, with their use of mirrors, sound, and lights. At times, the image of you walking may confuse you with the flashes and the multi-way mirrors. My only suggestion on this one is to not bring those who have epileptic episodes watch this!
John Edmark created Blooms. This one was particularly interesting. At times, it would appear as if the sculpture moved and other times it didn’t. The use of strobe lights allows the guest to spend additional time at this exhibit to examine if their eyes are betraying them!
Sweepers Clock was created by Maarten Baas. In this exhibit, they use trash to create time changes within a clock. It truly shows that beautiful art can be made from literal trash.
On a Human Scale was on exhibit that was inaccessible. I could tell this exhibit would be a beautiful creation from Matthew Matthew. I cannot wait to see this exhibit back open. I know it will be utterly astounding when the time comes to see this exhibit to its fullest extent.

Illegal Art had The Last Word. The concept behind this exhibit is absolutely beautiful: unspoken words to form a beautiful display. I am curious if the creators ever plan to reveal what messages are tied within those pieces of paper.

Charlotte Stoudt, Laura Wexler, Angel Soto, Skybound, Ryot & Telexist’s exhibit of Dinner Party threw me for a loop, initially. When I walked into this exhibit, I felt like I was intruding on a dinner part (it definitely fits the name). I remember telling the person I was with, “I’m not sure if we should be in here.” After realizing it was one of the art pieces, I started to look deeper into the meaning behind it. Unfortunately, this is also a piece that we were able to experience 100%, due to COVID.
Michael Murphy’s exhibit of The Immigrant was unfortunately having maintenance completed. Due to this, we were unable to see this in it’s beauty.
Taquero Mucho (Pink Tacos of Austin)
If you love the idea of Tiffany Blue, you’ll love Taquero Mucho! Everything in this location is pink: from the outside decorations to the interior design, and even the plates, glasses, and check payment holder. This place bleeds pink!
The first thing I noticed, aside from the insane amount of pink throughout the building, I noticed the incredibly small menu. Usually menus that are small tend to have delicious food, because they focus so much on flavor! I can attest that this theory is true! Their the carnitas were amazing! The flavors were bursting with each and every bite. I’m not a bean fan, but their beans had an amazing flavor to them as well! Of course all food and drinks were in the color pink as well!
They have a few outdoor delights to enjoy as well, including an old telephone booth, outdoor seating, and an outdoor shop. I was so enthralled by the pink overload I had to purchase a t-shirt in support of this amazing company started by such an amazing person!
Top Golf Austin
As someone who had never golfed before, coming here seemed a bit intimidating at first. I was worried professional golfers would appear and put me to shame. It’s not like mini golf, which you have built in supports (short distances, smaller clubs, etc.).
Luckily, that wasn’t my experience at all! Top Golf Austin had a good mix of professional and beginner golfers. There were families, couples, groups of friends, and more. With COVID restrictions, they limit how many people may be in a bay. They do their best to spread out customers as well to ensure safety! The staff is extremely friendly to include walking new timers through the process (such as myself).
There are several options of playing (from Beginner to Advanced, games to tournaments). I found the technology to be intriguing, which led to a discussion with the employees about the tracking of the ball, video source, etc. I was expecting to leave more broke, but surprisingly it was affordable. As a newcomer, I will definitely making another pit stop at this location to work on my golf game!
Ravishing Round Rock
Round Rock, Texas is a beautiful city located in the Hill Country of Central Texas. As a lifelong Texan, I admire a town with history, class, and a modern touch. Round Rock, Texas provides all of that and more.
Two of the more well-known places within Round Rock, Texas includes the Round Rock Premium Outlets and Round Rock Donuts.
Round Rock Premium Outlets
The Rock Rock Premium Outlets have been around for years. Just located to the north of Austin, Texas, these outlets provide both shopping and dining experience.
For some of the major shopping retailers, the Round Rock Premium Outlets include affordable stores ranging from Skechers, Bath & Body Works, and GAP to the more pricier shopping retailers such as Michael Kors, Ralph Lauren, and Calvin Klein. By having a wide variety of choices, these outlets provide something for everyone.
These outlets have beautiful decorations: fountains, seating areas, covered areas for hot Texas days or rainy days, and decorations to fit the season(s) and holiday(s). All these touches on the location welcome guests to an atmosphere that is beautiful, inviting, and comfortable. With several benches to rest along the way, it allows those who have difficulty walking long periods of time to rest, or they can enjoy time with the family chatting away.
Round Rock Premium Outlets often have great sales within their stores. At the VANS outlet (12/29/2020), they were running a buy one, get a 50% off sale. Bath & Body Works has most of their merchandize on sale, which was not on sale in other retail locations and/or online. Victoria’s Secret ran sales that were similar to their Semi-Annual sale. Although we did not enter the Michael Kors store, we could tell a major sale was happening within due to the massive line to enter the store!
Although shopping is the main focus of any outlet, the food options within the Round Rock Premium Outlets is even more divine!
Fast food options are one available choice for the Outlets. Church’s Chicken, Auntie Anne’s, and Starbucks are a few of the fast food options within the Outlets. However, more mom and pop, small business companies, and less frequented places are within the immaculate and large food court. I personally prefer the mom and pop and small business options over the fast food options!

This view is from the East side of the Round Rock Premium Outlets. Due to COVID, it was a bit more empty than usual. These areas are usually packed with shoppers. Some of the stores were not open due to COVID either.

The largest tree within Round Rock Premium Outlets is located at the entrance. Not only does this tree welcome guests to an inviting atmosphere, but it also adds a bit of joy to the location with it’s beautiful, welcoming, festive colors to celebrate the 2020 Christmas Spirit.

Round Rock Premium Outlets includes several decorations for the season(s) and holiday(s). These decorations are spread throughout the location to bring a welcoming feeling to guests.
Round Rock Donuts
You cannot go to Round Rock, Texas without needing to stop for Round Rock Donuts!
Round Rock Donuts was founded in 1926, and it has been a Texas favorite ever since! With the untraditional orange tinted donuts, people who have never had them become intrigued. After trying Round Rock Donuts, people keep coming back near and far to have more!
The World Famous donut maker has been featured in BuzzFeed – often mentioning the Texas sized donut that Round Rock Donuts offers! Day Tripper featured several Round Rock locations and events, with one of the most important being Round Rock Donuts. Man v. Food notoriously tried the famous Texas sized donut as well!
My personal favorite from Round Rock Donuts includes the Chocolate Glazed Sprinkle donut and the regular kolaches. Their kolaches are made on the sweeter side with less grease to prevent heartburn for those with sensitive stomachs, like me! The donuts and kolaches are easy to refrigerate and reheat for upcoming mornings. You can’t come here without buying the Texas sized donut at least once!

Round Rock Donuts was featured on the Food Network. Although always popular, this sparked a higher interest in the company from surrounding areas and visitors.

11 years ago was the first time I tried Round Rock Donuts. On my first trip, I had to get the Texas sized donut. Being impressed by the size, it was my duty to take a picture for comparison by my head and hand. I look different now, but the donut stayed the same size!
Other Round Rock Adventures
Round Rock, Texas offers several other exciting and beautiful places to visit. Located on the old Chisholm Trail, there is no doubt that you’ll find a bit of history, nature, and events surrounding this beautiful location! Modern meets memories of our past: it is a place that any Texan would be lucky to visit!
Goal Setting for 2021
There is no doubt that 2020 has been one of the most challenging years for most people. Between a worldwide pandemic, unemployment numbers skyrocketing, inequality issues and protests, statewide wildfires, governmental impeachment, shocking celebrity death (Kobe Bryant and Chadwick Boseman), and other devastating news, society at some point has hit a point in 2020 of sadness and/or stress. We all have hope that 2021 will bring much relief, hope, positivity, and change to our lives.
Every year, around this time, we tend to make goals and New Years Resolutions. This year may be even more important than ever, given the events of 2020. 2020 has opened many of our eyes to what we deserve, need, and want in our life. But how do we set a good goal that can be accomplished and not forgotten?
SMART Goals
Oftentimes, we make generalized goals. We focus on goals anybody can reach at any given moment. When we reach those goals, we don’t feel satisfied. The opposite may happen as well. Our goal may be so generalized that we never reach it. Equally, we don’t receive satisfaction. Why is that?
Goals should be SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time Measured ) in nature.
Specific
Our goals need to be specific to our needs and wants. Without being specific, reaching those goals aren’t as fulfilling. Saying I want to lose weight means something different than saying I want to lose 20 pounds. The more specific the goals are, the more likely you strive to achieve success in that goal.
Measurable
Going hand-in-hand with specific goals, your goals should be measurable. Having a measurable goal gives you a starting point and ending point to measure progress. The measurable part of the goal may be intertwined with the specificity, but sometimes the measurement could be separate.
Attainable
While speaking of measurable goals, your goals should be attainable. By setting a specific and measurable goal, you have a focus. That focus is pointless if the goal is unattainable. If you’re looking to lose weight, maybe striving for half a pound to two pounds a week is realistic. That is an attainable goal. It is a goal that you are able to reach! Choosing unattainable goals will make someone give up on themselves. Setting a goal to lose 40 pounds a month is not attainable for me. You have to know what you are capable of reaching with your motivation and your abilities.
Relevant
The goals should be relevant to you. A goal should be important to you. The more important a goal is to you, the more likely you are to reach that goal. I’m not going to set a goal to walk a mile a day, when I already accomplish that daily. That goal will not be important to be, and I’ll receive no satisfication in reaching that goal.
Time Measured
It’s important to set a timeframe in which the goal should be achieved. It should be specific and realistic. I know setting a goal to lose 30 pounds in two weeks is not realistic to me. If I set a goal to lose 30 pounds in six months, then I know I could be successful. The time frame is incredibly important in measuring progress of reaching your goals.
More importantly, declare the goal. Don’t state the goal as a want, but as a manifestation.
Example Generalized Goals:
- I will lose weight.
- I will travel.
- I will learn new skills.
- I will learn yoga.
- I will clean my house.
- I will ride my bike.
Example Specific Goals:
- I will lose 20 pounds to improve my health within the first three months of 2021.
- I will travel to Nashville, Tennessee to explore career options between June 2021 and August 2021.
- I will take an Adobe Photoshop course to expand my career abilities by April 2021.
- I will learn and master ten new poses in yoga by December 2021.
- I will clean my house once a week according to the following schedule:
- Sunday: Laundry, Dishes, Vacuum
- Monday: Dusting, Dishes, Vacuum
- Tuesday: Organizing, Dishes, Vacuum
- Wednesday: Mirrors, Counters, Laundry, Dishes, Vacuum
- Thursday: Walls, Baseboards, Dishes, Vacuum
- Friday: Fridge, Oiling Cabinets, Dishes, Vacuum
- Saturday: Bathroom, Dishes, Vacuum
- I will ride my bike at least one mile a day around the neighborhood to improve my health by May 2021.
Goals have always been important to set. Undoubtedly, 2021 will be some of the biggest growth for everyone. Setting SMART Goals allows you to achieve success, have something to look forward to, and something to celebrate when the goal has been reached.
Educational Technology
With COVID-19, virtual/remote learning has become a standard within education. Whether the student is 100% virtual, or if the student is face-to-face with virtual elements, it is important to find new, engaging ways to grab students’ attention. There are several technology apps within education that are beneficial to the teacher and student. The students’ engagement levels will quickly rise with these sites or apps:
- GimKit – GimKit is a newer site in which students are highly involved in a competition of wits. GimKit allows educators to ask students questions, in which the students earn “money” to use for special upgrades or powerups to use against other students. However, wrong answers take away their money! GimKit was created by a student for students, which is what makes this site so successful. Students know what students want and how they are engaged best. Although this team and site is continuously growing, no one can deny this site has an amazing start!
- Kahoot – Kahoot is another competitive site and app in which students compete for a place on the podium. The faster your answer is correct, the more points you receive. If you have an answer streak, you also gain additional points. If the student chooses the wrong answer, they do not gain points or lose them. This site and app allows students to answer questions based on shape or color. One positive aspect of this site is the pre-made quizzes that educators may choose from, or the educator may create their own quiz. Kahoot has made many developments over the years to focus on other areas outside of education as well.
- Nearpod – Nearpod is a newly popular site and app that educators enjoy. Nearpod features different activities for the educator to use: matching cards, virtual field trips, race games, interactive drawing, interactive response boards, interactive polls, and more. Over the years, Nearpod has developed their system to include additional features and engaging activities for educators to use in their classroom. The great benefit of Nearpod is the site or app can be teacher-led and controlled or student-led and controlled. Teacher-led presentations allow results in real time, whereas student-led presentations can be set for students to complete on their own time.
- Flipgrid – Flipgrid is a great tool for virtual and remote learning, especially when connecting a classroom locally or from a distance. Teachers present a prompt for students to answer in which they can record their responses. This is great for students who may be shy, used for practicing speeches, or presenting information in general. Another benefit to Flipgrid is that students get to connect with people around the world, which is great for learning about cultures, education in other countries, and more.
- Socrative – Socrative is a great resource for quick quizzes and tests, exit tickets, or reflections. Educators can keep students engaged while limiting use of paper. With options like multiple choice, short answer, or true/false, students can race each other in a competition of wits.
- Quizlet – Quizlet is a tool in which flashcards can be made for or by students. This is great for implementing new vocabulary within the classroom. Educators may search for already created sets of vocabulary. Educators can have students compete in groups using the Quizlet Live feature. In this feature, students compete to receive the correct answers in a race for first place. Other options include a game and a matching set for vocabulary terms.
With so many tools available to educators, it can be overwhelming on where to start or what to use. The best way to determine what works within the classroom is to practice and try some of the sites and apps. Many of these sites and apps you can share with coworkers and collaborate together on the project.
How COVID Changed Education
COVID has completely changed the way the world operates. It has affected how to interact as people, how to learn, how to do jobs, how to celebrate big events (baby showers, birthdays, weddings), and more. The area most impacted by COVID has been education.
Setting
With the COVID shut down in March, the physical setting of school has changed in several ways.
Virtual or Building
Over the summer, teachers and administrators received detailed, intense training on how to cater to the needs of students during a global pandemic – both virtually and physically. This training was needed, regardless of a global pandemic. With the uptick in technological needs, the training teachers and administrators received was a lifelong necessity.
Since March 2020, students have been learning virtually. Initially, schools were thrown into the new process and lessons weren’t well-developed. Teachers and students struggled with the way lessons were presented back in late Spring of 2020. Students who were already behind in grade level fell even more behind in their grade level, due to the lack of time teachers had to prepare for the national shutdown.
504 and Special Education
It appeared that students with 504 and SpEd needs were indirectly left behind. Although teachers tried to adjust to fit the needs of those with special circumstances, it was impossible to provide all the tools necessary with minimal training and preparation. Case managers of 504 and SpEd students did not know how to provide many accommodations. Some accommodations came naturally, such as: extra time, eliminating answer choices/shortened answer choices, oral testing.
Parental Support
Parents and/or guardians weren’t sure on how to provide for their students’ educational needs. It may seem easy to hover over a student to ensure they complete work, but completing work and learning are two different concepts. USA Today provided a great insight to how students and parents/guardians are struggling in meeting their student’s special education needs.
Choices and Growth
This year campuses received an option to start virtually or in-person. Daily Voice talks about how this could be the new normal, which I agree with. Some states allowed their districts to delay their start, while other districts chose to go against their states’ wishes and lose funding. Many campuses chose to do a combination of in-person and virtual. This presented new challenges (how to account for true attendance, when is work due, lessons virtually and in-person, what to do with students not completing work, how to handle special circumstances, password lockouts, eLearning platforms crashing, etc.).
Even though this was a more successful start than back in March 2020, and most teachers were more prepared for how to handle the curriculum, some teachers still struggle with the new methods that are expected from them. Older generations of teachers struggled with how to upload materials, make videos, use eLearning platforms, and the like. Districts tried to hire a fresh round of employees (teachers, technologists, coaches, etc.) to help with these struggling learners as teachers and replace teachers who left due to COVID.
Workload
One of the challenges faced because of the global pandemic known as COVID is the increased workload of teachers, administrators, coaches, technologists, and case managers.
Before and Now
Teachers were already battling an uphill battle of documentation for state and federal guidelines, but now they are facing additional documentation due to the choice of being virtual or in-person. Refinery 29 gives great insight to what teachers were facing at the beginning and middle of this pandemic, coming straight from the mouth of a teacher. Teachers were already required to provide lesson plans, sub plans, emergency sub plans, teacher input for 504 and SpEd students, tracking of accommodations, parent or guardian contact, tracking of submission of work and/or failures, and attendance.
In addition to doing all of this, teachers around the world are now required to face additional requirements for documentation for the campus and/or district to receive funding. A student going to the nurse now requires documentation that had never been an issue before due to COVID. A student not submitting work online requires more documentation than an email or phone call home. Teachers are now tracking how much a student has completed virtually, providing in-person and virtual tutoring, logging Zoom or Google Meets meetings for in-person classes and virtual classes, teaching simultaneously in-person and on Zoom classes, and maintaining discipline in-person and on virtual classes.
Technology Experts
Teachers have also become the first point of contact for technology issues with the expectation of knowing how to correct the issue. Teachers have faced password lockouts, resetting passwords, Microsoft 365 or G Suite not loading into eLearning platforms, Zoom or Google Meets not connecting, work not submitting on eLearning platforms, work not opening on these same platforms, the crashing of these platforms, and much more.
Physical Layout of Building
Although the structural building of campuses did not change, the way they handle the physical makeup of classrooms, lunchrooms, hallways, bathrooms and more have changed. The CDC provided new guidelines for campuses to follow, which limit the decision making for teachers and administrators.
Distancing
Classrooms around the United States went from an average of 25-30 students in a core classroom (math, science, history, and English language arts) to about 10-20 students per classroom. In order to maintain global pandemic needs, desks were changed and spread out throughout the classroom. Although teachers and students may not be able to obtain a six foot distance, teachers tried to shoot for a minimum of a three to five foot distance by placing desks with distance. However, classrooms just aren’t large enough to obtain social distance requirements. Mashable shows some pictures of what teachers are facing currently.
An example of an attempt to social distance is from a local campus:

Masks
So how do teachers get around this? Districts made it mandatory that students and teachers wear some sort of face covering (shield, mask, or a combination of both – anything except bandanas). In doing so, teachers are trying to space out desks about 3-4 feet apart still. This isn’t ideal for a classroom for a variety of reasons, but mainly because it changes the way teachers plan their lessons. However, safety of everyone is the number one priority. If that means we have less collaboration and engagement for face-to-face learning in order to be safe, then that is what the campus must do.
Fountains
Water fountains were covered and/or disconnected in preparation to prevent the spread of COVID at some campuses. Some water fountains were replaced with water bottle refill stations. Another option campuses have offered is leaving the water fountains uncovered, but only used to refill water bottles. That puts a lot of trust in students, and it requires much supervision from adults to ensure these are being used properly.
Procedures
As mentioned previously, facial coverings have become a requirement for adults and students in the building. Although they have options as to their facial covering, this still presents many issues.
What happens if a student comes unprepared with a mask? How many chances do they get in order to self-correct? How many free masks will students receive before disciplinary actions occur? Will disciplinary actions occur? What is considered a truly appropriate mask in terms of coverage and design? Too many questions and not enough answers!
Cleaning Routines
Teachers, bus drivers, and custodians are all working overtime to ensure their environments are sterilized. Bus drivers are required to sanitize the bus after every drop off. This includes seating, railings, or any other area a student may touch. Custodians are wiping stair railings, door handles, benches (even though students are not supposed to sit on these, they are cleaning to ensure they are safe), fogging rooms in the building, bathroom stalls, and more.
Although several of these cleanings have always been done (such as bathroom stalls), the wait time of sanitizing takes much longer, which sometimes requires bathrooms to be shut down temporarily. Teachers are using medical grade disinfectant to wipe desks, chairs, keyboards, books, dictionaries, and much more in between classes. Mind you, teachers are supposed to be in the hallway between passing periods. Teachers also have to worry about students with allergies to any cleaner. The disinfectant needs to sit for a minimum of three minutes. Passing periods for most middle school campuses range from three to five minutes. It makes it difficult for a teacher to be at two places at once, while ensuring safety both with COVID and allergies.
Supplies
Teachers are not allowed to “borrow out” supplies anymore. Students cannot lend supplies to other students. If a student comes unprepared, teachers are constantly giving students supplies to keep. This doesn’t seem like a big deal. However, if a student needs a pen/pencil every 180 days, that will add up with an average of 150 students per middle school teacher and 200 per high school teacher. These are endless battles faced in a normal school year, but teachers normally have procedures in place to receive their items back. Given that most supplies come out of the pocket of the teachers’ income, it can be frustrating with these new procedures but necessary to keep everyone safe.
Nurses/Clinic Assistance
Nurse routines have also been impacted due to COVID. In the past, the nurse would welcome any student into their office with minor issues (headache, band aid, feminie products, etc.). However, with COVID, the procedure in sending a student to the nurse’s office has changed drastically.
Unless a student has a medical condition (diabetes, allergies requiring EPI pens, seizures, g-tube, etc.) or has COVID symptoms, students’ medical needs should be assessed within the classroom. Teachers were equipped with necessary tools to handle many medical issues within the classroom.
Nurses used to be able to check vitals for teachers and administrators in the past. Yet again, COVID has changed this. Teachers and administrators are no longer allowed into nurses’ offices. If it is concerning to have vitals taken, nurses have offered to come to the teachers’ classrooms. This shouldn’t be because of a curious moment though, but instead should be because they feel as if something is bothering them (heart racing, dizziness, etc.).
Breakfast & Lunch
Breakfast and lunch used to be a time when students could socialize and release all their energy for the day. Now, students are expected to skip seats and minimize their movement and socialization. Imagine seeing your best friend daily, but not allowed to sit by them or talk to them because a pandemic is limiting you.
Impact on Educational Setting
Although some may see the benefit of the pandemic is a smaller face-to-face classroom, there are several downfalls. Because of the pandemic, students are no longer allowed into small groups, collaboration groups, or the like. This is hurting the education of students. Collaboration is the essence of all jobs in the future for students. More importantly though, collaboration helps students understand material by discussing it with each other on a peer level.
There are millions of people impacted by COVID-19, but the biggest group facing change right now are those in education: teachers, students, paraprofessionals, and administrators. School districts have lost teachers at alarming rates, and it won’t be slowing down as long as the coronavirus is around.
Virtual Learning – A Gift or a Curse?
With the lovey visitation of COVID-19 (coronavirus), our world has been turned upside down. Some of the United States have been affected by this since late-January. Other parts of the United States didn’t feel the repercussions until around March. Although many states have shut down, most states reopened around late May/early June.
Impact on the Educational Industry
One of the biggest impacted areas has been education. Around March, nationwide schools had shut down to prevent the spread of COVID. With so many unknowns, even to this day, it was the safest thing to do at the time. Districts nationwide readjusted, or extended, their Spring Break in order to figure out the logistics of how the rest of the year was going to be handled. Many districts took the situation week-by-week.
The Start to Virtual Learning Outside of College
One of the go-to options was digital/virtual learning. Even with that, many districts were ill prepared for the last minute changes that had taken place. Many families didn’t have Internet, technology, time, the ability, or much more to handle the virtual learning. Internet providers stepped up and provided discounted, or free, service for a short time to help students learn. Some districts provided technology to students, but quickly ran out. Parents/guardians were temporarily on hold with their life, but lacked the teaching credentials to properly help their child. When they returned to work, they weren’t around to ensure students completed their work.
When summer hit, many schools canceled summer school. However, with school starting again – now what!?
The Return to School 2020-2021
Summer Training
Teachers around the world, especially the United States, have spent their summer preparing for the return of school in a variety of ways. Much of their professional development was focused around virtual incorporation and/or whole-hearted online learning. Teachers discovered tools like Flipgrid to connect students from around the world, Nearpod for students to complete teacher led or student led lessons, Playposit to help students stay engaged in videos from YouTube, and many more online learning tools.
In addition to virtual teaching strategies, tools, and techniques, teachers also had professional development on their normal blood-borne pathogens, suicide awareness, mental health, FERPA, and more. This year was impacted even more so with the extra COVID-19 training campuses had to face (signs, symptoms, cleaning procedures, how to handle, how to social distance in a classroom, etc.).
Questions
In addition to all their normal trainings and virtual trainings, teachers also had to figure out a lot of their future for themselves. What masks work? Would they wear a mask all day (yes, we found out)? How do you social distance 25-35 kids in a classroom the size of a standard American kitchen? What happens if someone gets COVID-19 in the building? Where do they find sanitizer that doesn’t smell like tequila? Where do they find wipes for their desks, handles, etc.? How do they handle small group instruction? How do they lend out books for student reading? How do they lend out supplies for those who can’t afford it (CDC states no communal supplies, so that solved that concern)?
Teachers were left with a million questions and received a lot of: we’re not sure. With so much uncertainty, many teachers opted to leave the profession or retire, causing an already short-staffed profession in a much less staffed.
What’s the News?
School districts all over the world today are still unsure about the status of COVID-19. There is a lot of debate on whether students can or can’t transfer it to adults, each other, etc. With this, many school districts gave parents/guardians the option of online or virtual learning. Some districts delayed school, some districts still have their plans in the air, some districts are deciding to open. The one trend I keep seeing though is: virtual learning is here to stay regardless of COVID-19.
Many people are not happy about this trend. They have many of the same concerns from March-June (lack of technology, no or slow Internet, no time at home, and much more). However, I think a lot of society is missing the good in the situation.
The Good in Virtual Learning
With living in a digital world, there is no doubt that the upcoming generation needs to be more prepared technologically than every before. We aren’t talking about Facebook, TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat integration, but true digital needs like Microsoft Office, G Suite, digital design, writing, and much more.
Many students in a classroom through high school have no idea how to format a paper properly, on their own, to write a college level entrance essay. That’s a problem! Students can take this opportunity for so many beneficial aspects of virtual learning.
Repetition
When teachers record lessons, either from their classroom or home, students will have the ability to rewatch the lesson several times, if needed. A student who may be 504, Dyslexic, Special Education, Emotionally Disturbed, or may have other (dis)abilities, they are able to rewatch it several times for clarification. Students may be able to pause and take notes instead of trying to focus in class and write at the same time. Even if the teacher provided notes online, they would be able to underline, highlight, or make additional notes during the virtual lesson.
Scheduling
If they’re unable to watch the lesson from 10:00 am – 11:00 am, when class is, they can find the recording later in the day and still be held responsible for content presented during the lesson. This is a great planning tool for entrepreneurs, college preparation, job scheduling, and more. Maybe the student is a night owl and tends to work better in the afternoon than morning. This will give those students an opportunity to focus better. This is also great if they have a parent whom works from home and needs to use the computer/Internet during the day for business. The student can spend the afternoon completing their work.
Responsibility, Team Work & Work Ethic
One of the biggest benefits is teaching students responsibility, team work, and work ethic. With online learning, even as early as elementary school, students develop a sense of responsibility. They are responsible for completing their work and turning it in. Just like an in-person classroom, they are responsible for completing and turning in their work. However, this puts more pressure on a student because they don’t have someone reminding them constantly throughout the day to complete and turn-in their work.
This is a great way for students to learn true team work as well. With programs like Microsoft Office and G Suite, students are able to collaborate with each other from a distance. Depending on how the teachers set up the assignment, students will be able to work virtually with one-another. With many careers requiring collaboration within their network, it is important to instill this whether it be in-person or virtually. So many tools are available for students to collaborate on documents or video!
It is so incredibly easy to cheat with virtual learning. However, there is a lot of risk as well because it becomes easier to copy and paste over a hand-written response. The virtual learning puts a bit of pressure on students to not only ensure they’re not plagiarizing, but also not sharing answers or Googling answers. It’s acceptable to use Google as a research tool, or in our case a way to look information up we may not know, but it’s not okay to use it as a copy and paste skill.
College Prep
America is one of the countries that may have all the greatness, but we severely lack in college preparation – whether it be academics, life skills, social interactions, or financial responsibility. We need to do better at preparing these students for college, and virtual learning is no exception.
Many colleges use virtual learning in some aspect of their students’ education. Even in-person lessons have a virtual component to them in order for students to submit work (papers, presentations, designs, analysis, financial literacy breakdowns, etc.). By introducing some of this minimal modalities (such as papers and presentations), students will be prepared not only on how to format them, but also write and submit them. Although the college may use a different eLearning platform, they will still be able to have an idea on where to look for submission and/or learn faster on the new platform.
Although that may seem minor in terms of a benefit for virtual learning, it is extremely impactful when discussing the preparation of student post-secondary learning. Our nation has become one in which having a Bachelors degree is no longer sufficient in terms of education. The competition for employment is astronomical! When given the tools ahead of time, students can better focus on classes more relevant to real-life experience and internships.

















































































































































